Giving up?

Yes. I am incredibly peed off with myself for being so utterly hopeless at the moment, getting such terrible results, trying to juggle work, horse, OH, social life etc. Spending all my money on the wretched creature which I cannot seem to improve in any meaningful way, and I am seriously wondering why I do it.

I am like this about everything though, I don't think I have achieved highly enough at work, I used to do lots of endurance sports and climbing and mountain biking but beat myself up about not being good enough at those, and as for being put down a group for ski lessons on my holiday this year, well, that hacked me off no end!

I have no idea where I get my competitive edge from, but I am wondering why I keep trying with the horse as I constantly seem to be utterly unable to get any better at it. Arrrgh.
 
Boss is a lot more easy going than me!
Do not get me wrong I love eventing for the thrill and also the challenge. BSJA I never beat myself up about my results at all but guess I just do not care about it. Its a means to improving my eventing. Maybe I think about it all too much.
 
We do all beat ourselves up when we feel we are not good enough at something, but it all stems from wanting to be respected and recognised in our chosen field of sport etc by our peers-we want others to think-'wow, she's a great rider, or getting a good tune out of that horse'.
I know thats why I get nervous sometimes or get cheesed off if all falls round my ears-not because of what I am doing, but because I know people will be watching and I think judging me on my performance. True athletes are those people who can shut that feeling off and then perform their best.
 
Do you know what, I think it is the lack of competing which is hacking me off so much - my horse always goes better away from home, and I am much more philosophical about things when I have just completed an event.

It is times like now where everything is cancelled and I am thinking 'well, I'll put the time to good use and get the dressage better then' when I get most irritated as nothing happens quickly enough and I realise all my shortcomings as a rider.

I feel now like I normally feel just towards the end of the winter!
 
All the time
grin.gif
Sometimes the battles to actually get to an event seem so huge and then when I do and I dont do as well as I had hoped, then a feel "what is the point".
I think you need some element of "a wish I could ride better", otherwise you would never push yourself to improve. I get so frustrated with myself, over little things like I know I've been told to keep my leg on at that precise point, and I still forget 5 times out of 10
confused.gif

I think if you are competitive then you will be self critical, and to improve you need to be self critical, so look at it as a positive thing
grin.gif
Dont get down about the feeling of "I should give it all up" but use it as a boost to be determined to "keep that right hand still", or whatever you know you are doing wrong.
 
I am same as you know. I cannot go jogging with other people as it turns from a fun exercise into trying beat the hell out of other people. I cannot just ten pin bowl - I have to do well and it puts me in a FOUL mood if it goes badly! Everything I do has to be done well. I refuse to play golf as I am either amazing hitting the ball further than most people or lousy and that type of inconsistency puts me in such a bad mood! So if I do not play I cannot be so annoyed by it.

In fact T we are in the wrong sport dealing with the most inconsistent creatures ever in horses! I know I can ride I just cannot do it as well as I want.
 
We are in totally the wrong sport.

This is why I would be a terrible parent, nothing is ever good enough for me!

I also hate it when I hit that 'brick wall' where you are solid at one level but trying to move up a level and nothing goes right. I need longer legs (or a smaller horse) but that is no excuse as plenty of short people manage just fine. I am a perfectly reasonable rider, but not nearly as good as I want to be.

Now if surfing the net were a competitive sport I would be fine
grin.gif
 
I think we can all end up feeling this way from time to time but as hard as it sounds we make it worse by thinking about it. Just think of the effect you have on your horse when you feel disapointed and down. I have learned from my mistakes now and try to look on the bright side, this is because i had one bad lesson where i was beating myself up and my horse totaly lost confidence in me and it took months for him to settle agian (just because of my bad mood!). I recently fractured my collar bone (5 weeks ago) and it was just at the time where i had all my competition for summer sorted but I have used this time to do some research and really evaluate my riding and I think it will do me the world of good. I have also put my extra time into devising a floor plan and doing music for my first attempt at dressage to music, something i have only decided to do as a result of this injury.

Remember chin up people. Finding something positive in even the worse situations can really help your riding.

evenag114
 
reading this posting i think it's very distructive and negative.....
Within horseworld everything is always changing and its how we deal with this type of changes.
The way i look at it is - i always try my best, but on somedays no matter how i hard i try 'SH!T happens'
and i always look back and see if i can improve and if not i have realised that i may not get to top of horsey tree, not matter how it try
BUT i'll try damm hard.................
But i do feel that you need luck, beening in right place and right time and then some times stars will aline
 
Glad its not just me who feels this way. The trouble with me is that I get so nervous at a competition. I can happily jump 1.15 at home and really want to do a Novice. I find PN ok and intro too easy, so really it should be a simple step up. Also I have an advanced schoolmaster who totally looks after me, so whats my problem!! arrggh..its so annoying. Its not as even if we get placed at events (his dressage is rather dismal!) so why do I get so nervous. Maybe Im the wrong side of 35 as I never used to be this bad. Also had a bad fall at my only ever Novice I did a few years ago. Everyone else seems to look so confident. I know I can do it, I just I could make myself!
 
Ive wanted to get off Archie and leave him in the middle of the arena on his own on numerous occasions when hes been parading around doing his test on his hind legs
crazy.gif


I know im lucky in that ive got a horse that will go all the way (hopefully) - but i feel like if he was with a professional he would be out doing advanced already, whereas with me we're still pootling around doing Novice and now Elementary. I spend every single penny i have on competing and training in the hope that one day i will compete against the best with him.......I often feel like im not good enough for him, and that im letting him down.
 
You have hit the nail on the head here this is just how I am feeling at the moment, to the point that I just don't want to ride. I feel very frustrated with the whole thing.

I am going to take my lovely boy out in the trailer to a local woods/beach and have a fun enjoyable ride tomorrow, to try and inspire the will to go to another comp
 
God all the time although Charm doesn't exactly make it easy to feel positive all the time. Fortnight ago jumped 1.15 class, last week stop in the 1m class as I was riding forward enough grrrrrrrrr
mad.gif

I do think though that the day you stop striving to be better, is the day you should give up competing.
 
I empathise with everything everyone's said on this post - I'm always beating myself up for not being better. If the horse goes crap i blame myself for being rubbish rather than just putting it down to experience or accepting that maybe the horse was just feeling that way out that day. I wish I could have more confidence in what I'm doing as I'm sure it can't be that bad all the time! I think what Jo C said about looking back and thinking about what you've achieved is very good advice, always works for me, if only for about 10 minutes!!
 
all the time!! not for lack of ability as im still young and have tons of new things to learn

I get frustrated alot because i have the totally wrong horse for what I want to do but we have been through some wonderful times...

If im feeling low, i always seem to get myself back on track by thinking positive and look at my little book of nice stuff such as what trainers thought and I look back at how far ive come (most of my friends would die to be in my position so i think of that too but i still want to go a hell alot further tho)

I am extremely competitive and always thrive for perfection such as position of my lower legs... Im laid back about my results if i know ive rode the horse to its full potential
 
Do you know what? I felt like that most of last year, so this year I have made a concious effort to only do things I like and that we are good at, it might sound silly but I dont want to drive for 3 hours to an event with a £65 entry fee ( Iwork too damned hard and my money doesnt go a long way)!
I will do the odd showjumping or dressage, have a few lessons, at the moment I am having a bash at workers which is something I havent done since I was 14, and in the winter I will go hunting to qualify for pointing next spring!
The change of heart came about for 2 reasons, the first was my former trainer telling me I should do this that and the other (and I believed that was the only way I was going to improve)
confused.gif
and the 2nd was when my well meaning aunty asked if she should buy me a horse and send Sovereign back!!!!!!!
shocked.gif

I told her that I actually do it because it makes me happy, its not my livelihood like the rest of my family, I only ride for fun and thats when the penny dropped.
laugh.gif

My advice is to take the pressure off yourself, have some fun and renew your enthiuasm, it might mean that you do a different discipline, but aslong as you are enjoying it, who cares?
shocked.gif
Ive got a lot to say today havent I?
blush.gif
 
Hell yes !

I was competitive at 1.30m+ when i was a teenager, and even then i got demotivated because i couldn't see a path 'to the top' and in fact that did lead me to quit horses completely.

What you have to remember about horse sport, unlike almost any other sport, is that you as an amateur / happy hacker / whatever will be competing against people who make their living from horses and even ride at the Olympics ! Whilst it is great to have these opportunities, and it is good to aspire to be competing alongside people like this, you must never judge yourself against them because quite simply it is like comparing chalk and cheese !

I've spent the last 2 years since getting back in the saddle trying to get back to jumping 1.20m+ classes, but i'm slowly coming to the realisation that i'm probably not ever going to be competitive at that level again. As my trainer pointed out to me the other day...i don't ride 10 horses a day, and i compete twice a month on average...i just can't get the experience that someone competing 4 or 5 horses at 3 or 4 shows a week will get.

So, i'm gonna concentrate on having fun (aka winning
tongue.gif
) in classes between 1m and 1.10m now instead....with the occasonal foray into 1.15m / 1.20m territory when needs must
grin.gif
 
I know exactly how you feel! I have a talented pony who has won talk of the north twice (i found out the other day that robert whitaker competes there, although I doubt boomer did the same class lol) and on my old pony I was doing 1m courses, and now I'm stuck doing a maximum of 90cm! Hopefully, with time it will come together, but I have been through many times of seriously thinking of givingup jumping, but never could face giving up horses!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top