Fides
Well-Known Member
Can you not rent the house as well as the yard?
Going back to a livery yard :(
- Thread starter slumdog
- Start date
Bav
Well-Known Member
My idea of surviving a livery yard:
* Accept that there will always be that one horse that can never do anything wrong - regardless of how many times you see it raise its hind legs to passers by.
* Smile and comment on how well the parent is mucking out their child's stable while said child stands and watches, pointing how the parent has missed a bit.
* It is the done thing to use other peoples knives, spoons, forks etc and is common knowledge that once 'borrowed' they should be put back in a different place, because surely everybody loves playing hide and seek with their own things?
* If your horse should be playing/fighting/biting/kicking another horse in the field it is completely your fault and how could you possibly deem it acceptable to tell your horse to do that?
* It is fine to comment on other people's riding and then "pony club kick" your way around the school on your own steed
* If you should leave a bag of apples by your stable/area for your horse for longer then half an hour then it becomes free pickings for everybody to use
Have fuuunnnn!!! (My livery really isn't that bad...haha!)
* Accept that there will always be that one horse that can never do anything wrong - regardless of how many times you see it raise its hind legs to passers by.
* Smile and comment on how well the parent is mucking out their child's stable while said child stands and watches, pointing how the parent has missed a bit.
* It is the done thing to use other peoples knives, spoons, forks etc and is common knowledge that once 'borrowed' they should be put back in a different place, because surely everybody loves playing hide and seek with their own things?
* If your horse should be playing/fighting/biting/kicking another horse in the field it is completely your fault and how could you possibly deem it acceptable to tell your horse to do that?
* It is fine to comment on other people's riding and then "pony club kick" your way around the school on your own steed
* If you should leave a bag of apples by your stable/area for your horse for longer then half an hour then it becomes free pickings for everybody to use
Have fuuunnnn!!! (My livery really isn't that bad...haha!)
Illusion100
Well-Known Member
Accept all offers of tea/coffee/biscuits. Never wash your used mug, just walk off and leave it, ensuring you are also eating the last biscuit. Also never bring to yard said supplies and offer to others but instead ensure you have your own stash that you only use after depleting everyone elses supply.
Develop a bad back ensuring you have an elaborate background story as to how you sustained it. This prevents others from asking for your help and guilt trips them into helping you. (While you have a coffee and biscuit from secret stash).
If anyone offers to help you out, turnout/bringing in etc, accept immediately and push this saying 'would you mind just popping the hose over legs/fling rug on/off while I return this vital *but totally imaginary* phonecall' (You are actually just nipping off to get another biscuit from your secret stash).
Make constructive and informative comments at all times, such as 'Wow, farriers done his best with those feet', 'love the new numnah, you can barely notice cow hocks now' and 'think your starting to get the hang of riding now' etc. The fact your horse tries to mount anyone who goes near it is completely irrelevant.
Try to hog facilities at peak times. Remember you are the most important person there. If farrier/vet has arranged a time to see another liverys horse, ensure you get an earlier appointment but arrive 10 min late so others have to hang around waiting. If they seem annoyed, casually say you noticed someone using their wheelbarrow/shovel etc so they have to go and check. Use this distraction to offer farrier/vet etc a coffee/tea and provide from your secret stash to ensure other livery is well put out.
Feel I've given you plenty to start with. Good luck! xx
Develop a bad back ensuring you have an elaborate background story as to how you sustained it. This prevents others from asking for your help and guilt trips them into helping you. (While you have a coffee and biscuit from secret stash).
If anyone offers to help you out, turnout/bringing in etc, accept immediately and push this saying 'would you mind just popping the hose over legs/fling rug on/off while I return this vital *but totally imaginary* phonecall' (You are actually just nipping off to get another biscuit from your secret stash).
Make constructive and informative comments at all times, such as 'Wow, farriers done his best with those feet', 'love the new numnah, you can barely notice cow hocks now' and 'think your starting to get the hang of riding now' etc. The fact your horse tries to mount anyone who goes near it is completely irrelevant.
Try to hog facilities at peak times. Remember you are the most important person there. If farrier/vet has arranged a time to see another liverys horse, ensure you get an earlier appointment but arrive 10 min late so others have to hang around waiting. If they seem annoyed, casually say you noticed someone using their wheelbarrow/shovel etc so they have to go and check. Use this distraction to offer farrier/vet etc a coffee/tea and provide from your secret stash to ensure other livery is well put out.
Feel I've given you plenty to start with. Good luck! xx
slumdog
Well-Known Member
Hahaha!! These are brilliant! I'm sure I'll have lots of friends in no time!
soulfull
Well-Known Member
Don't forget to leave a total mess in your path and take over the tack and fees rooms with all the things you can't possibly manage without
nix123
Well-Known Member
Love this ha ha
and to top it off you can be the one who does all the "borrowing" of well basically anything thats not nailed down then at the end of the month you could have a car boot sale so MORE money for your secret stash - RESULT AliceCrail
Well-Known Member
Oh god! I'm leaving my yard of 4 years to go to a new one in a few weeks - starting to get a bit terrified now!
Others I have come across over the years:
In the middle of practising your dressage test, someone will invariably come in to lunge/jump, despite the place being deserted 10mins ago.
After you have carefully forked the muck heap up, someone will come and dump a huge barrowful of straw at the bottom. Also if you've just swept the yard.
A new livery will turn up, accept all offers of help (a yard where one feeds all, one turns out etc...) Offers to help on a Sunday morning then proceeds to feed and turnout their own while you are still feeding the other 4 then ****** off with a smile and a "I'm back to bed now, but didn't want you doing it all by yourself" grrrr!
Someone will forget to turn yours out, forget to text you or mention it when you see them, and when you get to the yard at the usual time to get all the others in, find yours have been in all day with nothing to eat and some *********r has used your thermatex.
You will carefully harrow the school and then someone will turn out their horses in it for the next 8hrs.
Oh, and someone always takes up more than their fair share of space, never sweeps the feed room floor, will 'borrow' your feed and hay, and when they leave so will many other items that you were sure belonged to you.
But I am really looking forward to moving to the new yard for hacking partners and people to share putting up jumps etc....
Others I have come across over the years:
In the middle of practising your dressage test, someone will invariably come in to lunge/jump, despite the place being deserted 10mins ago.
After you have carefully forked the muck heap up, someone will come and dump a huge barrowful of straw at the bottom. Also if you've just swept the yard.
A new livery will turn up, accept all offers of help (a yard where one feeds all, one turns out etc...) Offers to help on a Sunday morning then proceeds to feed and turnout their own while you are still feeding the other 4 then ****** off with a smile and a "I'm back to bed now, but didn't want you doing it all by yourself" grrrr!
Someone will forget to turn yours out, forget to text you or mention it when you see them, and when you get to the yard at the usual time to get all the others in, find yours have been in all day with nothing to eat and some *********r has used your thermatex.
You will carefully harrow the school and then someone will turn out their horses in it for the next 8hrs.
Oh, and someone always takes up more than their fair share of space, never sweeps the feed room floor, will 'borrow' your feed and hay, and when they leave so will many other items that you were sure belonged to you.
But I am really looking forward to moving to the new yard for hacking partners and people to share putting up jumps etc....
Northern Hare
Well-Known Member
One of the funniest things I heard (on here I think) was when a livery owner was fed up with her expensive fly spray being used by a fellow livery. She didn't know who was responsible, so when the bottle was empty she filled it with purple spray. The culprit was soon identified - because she was (a) raging, and (b) had a grey horse - that was now purple!!
Joking aside, it's sometimes better to take labels off things like mane and tail spray as sometimes that's just too tempting!! However, having said that there's no need to do anything like that at the yard I'm at - where everything seems to stay safe.
Joking aside, it's sometimes better to take labels off things like mane and tail spray as sometimes that's just too tempting!! However, having said that there's no need to do anything like that at the yard I'm at - where everything seems to stay safe.