Good sharer like gold dust, had enough

[thatsmygirl]

I have a very well behaved 14hh pony who has never put a foot wrong, Iv had him since a foal, backed him and done everything with him myself, he's as safe as houses and wouldn't hurt a fly. I'm slightly to heavy for him after suffering with cancer, and putting on to much weight after being lied up after my ops, in the process off trying to loose it. I really don't want him to move yards and upset him so I thought I would get a sharer, first girl seemed ok and I was happy enough with her, to let her take him out on her own after I rode quite a few times with her. All seemed OK until I started to hear stories about how he was bucking and tanking off with her, totally laughable so I confronted her and she started to try and back track, all I can think is she was trying to big herself up to her mates making him out to be naughty and she could ride him! Anyway she's gone. Next one lasted a week then never appeared again, I now have another 18yr old who has been through a equine college and seemed promising, he's paying £15 a week all in to basically come as you please,ride when ever and I cover what he doesn't do, he's paying his livery and I pay the rest. I'm now thinking this won't last either and I probably won't try looking for anybody else as it seems more hassle then it's worth. This lad seems nice enough but I thought he would ride ok seeing as he's been through college, he's v v novice to the point my pony is half a mile back the road falling over his own feet, and when leading him, if my pony stops he stops and stands there until my pony walks on, he's not a piss taker at all but fear the pony could see a window off opportunity here, last straw was last night with mucking out, now I'm very fussy with mucking out I like nice thick beds and CLEAN! After he left I went in to check on my pony, I have others to do anyway and he hadn't mucked out, just chucked all the muck in the banks and chucked the straw about. This morning I gutted the stable but if he can do this after 2 weeks what next? He said he had drunk to much and was under the weather. Well he shouldn't have driven in that case anyway and I see that as no excuse to leave my pony in a **** pit for the night ( I did muck out after he left but as it was all chucked about it was easier to gut this morning)
What's wrong with people maybe until I lose weight I would be better off lunging him and leading him off my horse.
Just wanted to vent really as I would have given my right hand for something like this when I was younger.

 

[fidleyspromise]

If I were you I would lunge him and lead from your horse.
This is why I have been very hesitant about looking for a sharer for mine as although there are good ones out there, it's finding them.
I know a few who have come out of college who are competent (but they were decent before they went). Having seen a few who have come out I would be very wary of letting them near my horses.

 

[HashRouge]

In fairness, yesterday was Christmas Day so you're lucky he went at all. He probably didn't want to let you down. However, it's your horse so up to you if you want to persevere.

 

[thatsmygirl]

fidleyspromise I think your right, I will just have to lead/lunge until I can lose the weight. He's a highland but I'm 13 stone at the mo so need to lose 2 stone really. I'm tall so don't look 13 stone but I am. I will get Xmas out the way then have a word, I am shocked at how somebody can come away from equine college so novice but he seemed nice and willing to learn so thought I would give it a go,but the mucking out has bugged me, and just little things like not brushing the doorway in, leaving straw all over the yard. Don't the colleges teach general stuff like kepting yards tidy and how to muck out properly. I hate letting people down when he seems keen but not happy

 

[Sugar_and_Spice]

Everything you've said is why I don't have sharers.

BUT...an 18yr old turned up to muck out for you on Christmas day evening. I'd consider that lucky. If you like him in general it's probably worth talking to him about his novicy faults. The chances are he's taken the share to gain experience other than what he gets at college and might be keen to learn from his mistakes.

Have you checked his mucking out before and is it usually better or not? I'm asking because chucking everything dry-ish up the banks, collecting as you go any wet and the poo, which will roll to the floor, is a common way of mucking out shavings beds. Could be he just needs to be taught how to do straw.

Depends how badly you want a sharer I guess. At least he's not charging the pony around whenever he rides, like it sounds as if the last girl was.

 

[thatsmygirl]

In fairness, yesterday was Christmas Day so you're lucky he went at all. He probably didn't want to let you down. However, it's your horse so up to you if you want to persevere.

He didn't have to come but seeing that he did, the work should have been carried out properly.
Part off me wants to give him the chance and work with him and try to teach him a bit ( he's a nice lad) but I also have a gut feeling telling me it won't work

 

[11bluewolf]

Having shared in the past there definitely is good sharers out there so don't loose hope! It can work really well but i understand it must be really hard to find someone reliable.
Why don't you advertise looking for a mother/daughter share?

 

[Sugar_and_Spice]

Thing is, a sharer isn't an employee. You have to be a bit flexible regarding how things are done. Although everything should be done properly, different people have different ideas of what that is. He's probably used to someone sweeping the yard after the horses have all been mucked out in the mornings at college, he might not realise that on the average DIY livery yard this doesn't happen and liveries have to sweep up after themselves as they go. Sweeping the door in (not sure what that means) is maybe a personal thing that not everyone does, so either tell him nicely that you'd like it done, or accept that it's not a welfare issue and let it go. If you basically want a clone of yourself, but lighter, then sharing might not be for you.

 

[thatsmygirl]

Everything you've said is why I don't have sharers.

BUT...an 18yr old turned up to muck out for you on Christmas day evening. I'd consider that lucky. If you like him in general it's probably worth talking to him about his novicy faults. The chances are he's taken the share to gain experience other than what he gets at college and might be keen to learn from his mistakes.

Have you checked his mucking out before and is it usually better or not? I'm asking because chucking everything dry-ish up the banks, collecting as you go any wet and the poo, which will roll to the floor, is a common way of mucking out shavings beds. Could be he just needs to be taught how to do straw.

Depends how badly you want a sharer I guess. At least he's not charging the pony around whenever he rides, like it sounds as if the last girl was.

I was surprised to see him when he turned up I must admit, he's keen I will give him that, maybe he will learn and it will turn out ok, we were meant to be riding the other day and he never turned up, no txt or anything but I let that slip.

 

[mandyroberts]

I have been lucky with sharers but never expected them to do Christmas day. I expected them to turn up when they said they would and do things how I wanted them done. Mine all kept getting pregnant but one of those was back after 6-8 weeks each time and hearing her telling her husband (after no 3 was 6 weeks) and he called that the horse was her time and he just had to cope was quite funny. One of my sharers is still a very good friend several years after my boy was PTS

 

[{97702}]

Thing is, a sharer isn't an employee. You have to be a bit flexible regarding how things are done. Although everything should be done properly, different people have different ideas of what that is. He's probably used to someone sweeping the yard after the horses have all been mucked out in the mornings at college, he might not realise that on the average DIY livery yard this doesn't happen and liveries have to sweep up after themselves as they go. Sweeping the door in (not sure what that means) is maybe a personal thing that not everyone does, so either tell him nicely that you'd like it done, or accept that it's not a welfare issue and let it go. If you basically want a clone of yourself, but lighter, then sharing might not be for you.

Exactly this - having been a sharer, some owners (and I am not saying it is the case in this instance!) want total clones of themselves and nothing else will do.....

 

[MuddyMonster]

I also think as well as good sharers being difficult to find, it can be difficult to be an owner that 'can share'.

I think you need to decide what is a 'must' for you & what you need to learn to accept won't get done in quite the same way you would. Then, any 'musts' I'd have a word with the boy and politely make it clear this is how you want it done.

My parents do my horse once a week for me. Now, on the one hand it's great that they do this but my Mum can't 'do' banks to save her life whilst my Dad's idea of sweeping is not the same as mine, my Mum appears to not be able to make up feeds without leaving the feed scoops/stirrer in a bizarre place & not in the feed bin/bucket it came out of & my tools are never left where I would leave

But, my horse is well looked after in all other ways and as happy as larry when they go & shower him with affection, so I just re-arrange it all the next day as to how I 'like' it & remain grateful they are doing me a favour. Just as I'm sure my little ways could drive someone else mad!

Your other option, would be to pay someone to do the chores & ride the horse for you.

 

[Sugar_and_Spice]

Exactly this - having been a sharer, some owners (and I am not saying it is the case in this instance!) want total clones of themselves and nothing else will do.....

I actually used to prefer sharing from the owners who didn't give a damn about their horse, because although their attitude could be frustrating at times, at least I was left alone to get on with it (properly, since I did care) and not micromanaged.

 

[thatsmygirl]

I also think as well as good sharers being difficult to find, it can be difficult to be an owner that 'can share'.

I think you need to decide what is a 'must' for you & what you need to learn to accept won't get done in quite the same way you would. Then, any 'musts' I'd have a word with the boy and politely make it clear this is how you want it done.

My parents do my horse once a week for me. Now, on the one hand it's great that they do this but my Mum can't 'do' banks to save her life whilst my Dad's idea of sweeping is not the same as mine, my Mum appears to not be able to make up feeds without leaving the feed scoops/stirrer in a bizarre place & not in the feed bin/bucket it came out of & my tools are never left where I would leave

But, my horse is well looked after in all other ways and as happy as larry when they go & shower him with affection, so I just re-arrange it all the next day as to how I 'like' it & remain grateful they are doing me a favour. Just as I'm sure my little ways could drive someone else mad!

Your other option, would be to pay someone to do the chores & ride the horse for you.[/QUOTE

Food for thought!! Thank you,
I am so use I suppose to doing it all myself, and having high standards that I don't like it to fall short, but he's young and maybe I do need to give/take a bit.
Your first paragraph made me think! Maybe it is me that can't share I don't know

 

[jumping.jack_flash]

Personally No Excuse! . .the sharer should be biting the owners right hand off, got having such a great opportunity! . . and there is no excuse for not mucking out properly . . Come on . .us owners, when we are ill, tired, we do not allow our equines to slum it! . .

I totally understand where you we're coming from starting this thread . . I wouldn't relax not knowing if my horse had been done or not done! . .

Get rid! (and im saying this as a 'guy'!).

 

[{97702}]

I actually used to prefer sharing from the owners who didn't give a damn about their horse, because although their attitude could be frustrating at times, at least I was left alone to get on with it (properly, since I did care) and not micromanaged.

Yep exactly that!

 

[lilly1]

There are good sharers out there and if the horse is a good sort you should find the right one easy. The amount of horses I see advertised for share that are just backed or need a very experienced rider with £££ expected too, I'm amazed anyone would want to take these type of horses on let alone pay for privilege!
I have someone sharing mine and I don't expect any financial contribution from her as I get two days full livery for free in theory. I get a couple of days off, my horse gets more exercise and my sharer gets a nice horse to ride and pet without any commitment. its win win when it works out.

 

[MuddyMonster]

I also think as well as good sharers being difficult to find, it can be difficult to be an owner that 'can share'.

I think you need to decide what is a 'must' for you & what you need to learn to accept won't get done in quite the same way you would. Then, any 'musts' I'd have a word with the boy and politely make it clear this is how you want it done.

My parents do my horse once a week for me. Now, on the one hand it's great that they do this but my Mum can't 'do' banks to save her life whilst my Dad's idea of sweeping is not the same as mine, my Mum appears to not be able to make up feeds without leaving the feed scoops/stirrer in a bizarre place & not in the feed bin/bucket it came out of & my tools are never left where I would leave

But, my horse is well looked after in all other ways and as happy as larry when they go & shower him with affection, so I just re-arrange it all the next day as to how I 'like' it & remain grateful they are doing me a favour. Just as I'm sure my little ways could drive someone else mad!

Your other option, would be to pay someone to do the chores & ride the horse for you.[/QUOTE

Food for thought!! Thank you,
I am so use I suppose to doing it all myself, and having high standards that I don't like it to fall short, but he's young and maybe I do need to give/take a bit.
Your first paragraph made me think! Maybe it is me that can't share I don't know

It sounds like he hasn't been sharing with you long, so I think it's fair to expect some 'bedding in' time for both you & him. Him to get the hang of you like things & you to get used to having a sharer

Don't get me wrong, trying to which exotic place my Mum has left one of my feed scoop in the dark can be a little irratating from time to time, but in the grand scheme of things ... well, it's nothing is it?

It would be a shame to lose an enthusiastic and potentially good sharer over a few things that may not affect your horses welfare.

I only said that as I used to share before I had my own & one lady I just found it stressful. I was reliable, had high standards (I groomed part-time for a show rider at the same time) & was more than happy to follow her instructions but it was things like 'I'd have swept the bed back an extra cm or 2' or 'I'd have put his breakfast in the light blue bowl rather than the dark blue bowl' (despite the fact the feeds were identical & left outside the horses stable, so no chance of getting mixed up) or the one occassion after cleaning tack I forgot to put the noseband around the bridle to hang up & left it attached, but undone (not how they liked it) as the horse had injured himself in the field so was busy sorting him out & it just slipped my mind. It was commented on numerous times thereafter that I hadn't hung the bridle 'just so'. Yes, I appreciate high standards but in the grand scheme of things it wasn't like I left a dirty, muddy bridle lying in a heap on the tack room floor!

Funnily enough she moaned when I handed in my notice after not enjoying it/finding it stressful sharing despite loving the horse & yard, as good sharers were hard to find and she liked how I did things ... *facepalm*

Of course, if the horse is genuinely suffering then that's another kettle of fish alltogether.

 

[lilly1]

I think MuddyMonster sums it up. Unless the horse's welfare is compromised let it go.

 

[Mari]

Have you shown him how you like your stables mucked out & set up? Don't assume that because he's at equine college he knows how to do things. Explain that everyone has their way of doing things & that you would like him to do your horse & stable your way. You will probably also have to give him lessons in how to lead, pick out feet, tack up, etc doing it your way. I have a teenager, 15, who asked to come & help me with my horses. She has been to a riding school for 2 years, it closed, & has helped at a DIY livery yard for over a year. I've had to teach her how to do things 'my way'. I explain everything & show her what & how to do things & why. She's getting there but I have to be there & check everything she does. Maybe by the time she's 18 I can trust her to get on with it. She comes when she says she will & is quiet & kind with the horses & does any job asked of her. I give her a riding lesson most days she comes but she does work for them. No money involved.

 

[wingedhorse]

It sounds like he hasn't been sharing with you long, so I think it's fair to expect some 'bedding in' time for both you & him. Him to get the hang of you like things & you to get used to having a sharer

Don't get me wrong, trying to which exotic place my Mum has left one of my feed scoop in the dark can be a little irratating from time to time, but in the grand scheme of things ... well, it's nothing is it?

It would be a shame to lose an enthusiastic and potentially good sharer over a few things that may not affect your horses welfare.

I only said that as I used to share before I had my own & one lady I just found it stressful. I was reliable, had high standards (I groomed part-time for a show rider at the same time) & was more than happy to follow her instructions but it was things like 'I'd have swept the bed back an extra cm or 2' or 'I'd have put his breakfast in the light blue bowl rather than the dark blue bowl' (despite the fact the feeds were identical & left outside the horses stable, so no chance of getting mixed up) or the one occassion after cleaning tack I forgot to put the noseband around the bridle to hang up & left it attached, but undone (not how they liked it) as the horse had injured himself in the field so was busy sorting him out & it just slipped my mind. It was commented on numerous times thereafter that I hadn't hung the bridle 'just so'. Yes, I appreciate high standards but in the grand scheme of things it wasn't like I left a dirty, muddy bridle lying in a heap on the tack room floor!

Funnily enough she moaned when I handed in my notice after not enjoying it/finding it stressful sharing despite loving the horse & yard, as good sharers were hard to find and she liked how I did things ... *facepalm*

Of course, if the horse is genuinely suffering then that's another kettle of fish alltogether.

Yes despite my OCD tendencies in some areas. I work hard not to do this to my sharers!

 

[Goldenstar]

Yes despite my OCD tendencies in some areas. I work hard not to do this to my sharers!

One of things you let go of when you have others doing things for you is having them done exactly as you would have done them .
This is even the same when you pay people to do things .
I still can't get my head round a sharer being expected to do Christmas Day .

 

[Spottyappy]

Good sharers are worthy ther weight in gold dust!
This lad sounds like he could be that, especially if he's keen enough to turn up on Christmas Day to muck out. Ok, maybe not to your standards, but in the scheme of things, this won't harm the horse.
I would maybe mention about not letting you know about when you had arranged to ride, and he didn't notify you that he couldn't, that is just plain old decent manners unless he had had a huge disaster, which I assume wasn't the case.
I would also try and be more pro active on riding with him so you can him pointers,rather than instruction, on how your horse is and what may help when riding or handling him, but without sounding like you're over bearing!

 

[poiuytrewq]

Not read all replies but as some of you may recall I was struggling with doing mine and daughters horses alone since moving house meant she pretty much can't do anything!
All these stories of awful sharers really put me off.
I saw an advert, a girl wanting a horse to ride and messaged her, if I'm honest I was relieved when she replied that she had found another horse already!
Anyway she got back in touch a short time later saying she hadn't got on with the horse and was I still interested.
Best thing I did. She was lovely and we got on very well but more importantly she got on with the horse and it was working great.
Sadly she's moved away I'm not bothering again because let's face it, no one is that lucky twice
Good sharers are out there somewhere!

 

[SusannaF]

I'd be a bit worried if someone had gone to equine college and didn't know how to muck out/couldn't be arsed to do it properly.

 

[Orangehorse]

I'd be a bit worried if someone had gone to equine college and didn't know how to muck out/couldn't be arsed to do it properly.

It was Christmas Day, he did turn up. OP, I think you have to cut him some slack. Show him how you want the work done, bearing in mind he isn't an employee. Say he will thank you for the education!

I admit that my horse's aren't always done perfectly, they have to fit in with my life that involves running a business, an elderly relative, dog, grandchildren and sometimes they have to rough it, or at least come some way down the list of things to do. Does it hurt them? Not yet.

 

[Cortez]

I'd be a bit worried if someone had gone to equine college and didn't know how to muck out/couldn't be arsed to do it properly.

You will spend a lot of time worried then; the graduates of equine colleges that I have met/employed have all been far worse than useless.

Look, all horse owners (well, all that I know) have "their" way of doing things and can get a bit obssesive about having things just so. The lad sounds like a good egg, perhaps you can take some time with him and see if he picks up how to it right? I always have a bit of an induction day for anyone new, and am prepared to allow that I'm weird and OCD about some things that don't really matter to anyone but me....

 

[sasquatch]

I've recently stopped having sharers.

I had 2 girls who shared B, and to start with they were quite novicey so I always told them if they had any problems to let me know. I was with them the first few days they had him and showed them how I liked him to be mucked out, all his quirks etc. and they soon enough settled in and for the first year I had no problems.

After they'd had B (and they also took on another share) for a year, they started to get a bit 'know it all' and that's when the excuses started as well as further complaints about behaviour and being told how I was handling him (where I had no issues) was making him behave badly for them. I do think they exaggerated some times, and I've heard from other people that there were days they didn't ride him or lunge him and then when they would ride or lunge him would complain about how fresh he was.

In August, he started refusing fences and losing his confidence jumping. He developed a dirty stop which resulted in me being flung through the wing of a fence, and being stood on. My confidence jumping him is wrecked. I told sharers that the stop was dangerous after this had happened, and to give him a break and stop jumping him as I felt he was losing confidence and didn't want them to get hurt as well. They told me he hadn't refused with them in ages, and they had only been jumping him once a wee between them. I've since found out otherwise, through social media and friends, and it turns out they were jumping him at least twice a week and often were just aiming him at a fence and hoping he'd jump it. He has an odd canter, and he does need to be 'set up' a little bit for bigger fences or he gets odd strides, will back off a bit and jumps and can leave you behind. Honestly, it sounds as though they were just making him run into big fences to see how high he would go (when he's confident, he will easily jump 1m with no problems) and from the things I've seen on social media they were often being left behind and really jabbing his mouth and banging on his back as well as dropping him before fences - I know this can happen as he can be awkward, but I had said to them with jumping him you need to keep your leg on as you come into fences and you need to go with him as best you can even when he goes long. As awkward as he can be, you can count strides once you have a feel of him and even if he does go long, his canter is so flat before he takes off he sort of bounces and thats how you can tell. I'd seen them jumping him before over small courses and seen the videos/pictures they sent me and they looked fine and I had no reason not to trust that they were only jumping him once a week as they said and was only at the yard 3 days a week and often wouldn't see the other liveries that would have seen them riding or really speak to the other liveries.

Towards the end, they also told me they'd be leaving a week before they did and the mucking out seemed to get even worse. I'd explained that he's a mucky horse, so he needs a really thorough muck out every day and that if they needed more bedding to let me know so I could get it brought down and ordered. This was a minor issue at the start, but we worked through it and they soon had a really clean bed as he was done thoroughly every day so it ended up taking less and less time every day. Towards the end, there were times when it looked like he'd been skipped out on my days and they wouldn't tell me if he needed any more bedding so often he'd not have much bedding left and I would have to rush around trying to get some dropped off.
Right before they left, I found his bed absolutely filthy, with not much bedding in it, and puddles of wet and urine that didn't have enough bed to absorb it. I was absolutely furious, and told them it was unacceptable and that I had never seen a bed so bad - I'm not picky in that I don't care how his bed is done as long as it's done properly and like I've said, I told them as he can be very dirty he needs a good muck out once a day or he gets to a really disgusting state. I didn't swear at them, but made it clear I wasn't happy at all and that I knew they were leaving but could they make sure they did things properly until then. Nothing worse than any other messages I've sent when there's been a big problem, and all I got back was an excuse about how they'd spent half an hour doing his bed and had done it as best they could as they had to be away for a certain time - although they would have spent nearly all day at the yard on weekends and school holidays. They knew to ask for more bedding if they felt it was needed and that wasn't a problem, and they didn't pay or contribute any costs towards the share and I replaced anything that broke as well.

OP, I would speak to your sharer and explain your issues and see what he says. He may not know how to muck out straw, and honestly I wouldn't expect a sharer to do Christmas Day regardless of if it fell on their day or not. Good sharers are hard to find and sadly it seems even ones that seem good may not always stay that way

 

[MyBoyChe]

Thatsmygirl, are you sure youre too heavy. Ive got a highland and weigh 11 stone, he hardly notices Im up there! I do know someone who weighs quite a lot more than me who rides a highland as well, in no way does he struggle. Unless yours is a very small or young pony and assuming you are a fairly competent, balanced rider, I wouldnt think your pony would struggle at all. I know you have to add on the weight of the saddle but Im quite sure that you and the tack wont weigh as much as a stag

 

[ester]

Have you checked his mucking out before and is it usually better or not? I'm asking because chucking everything dry-ish up the banks, collecting as you go any wet and the poo, which will roll to the floor, is a common way of mucking out shavings beds. Could be he just needs to be taught how to do straw.

.

I did that yesterday without thinking, 3 years of not on straw it was just automatic!