Goodbye Lari

Birker2020 said:
I said goodbye to my beautiful horse Lari on Friday. One of the hardest goodbyes ever.

He kept going lame, it was very intermittent - he would be abscess lame at 8am but barely noticeable four or five hours later. The duration went from weeks to days in between. He had been on one bute a day at that point before switching to two a day. He would be foot pointy but the vet assured me it wasn't an abscess or laminitis, he was never resistant to hoof testers, never presented as either and his cushings test came back negative. It was always felt it could have been soft tissue damage in his foot but we felt we needed to rule out coffin joint arthritis first.

We decided (me and vet) to medicate his coffin joint and he had a third nerve block before having the procedure which blocked positive to the foot again. We were even more certain it was his coffin joint after the synovial fluid tap poured out. Sadly, after 9 days he went lame again. With heavy heart it was decided to give him one last shot and medicate his navicular bursa as his symptoms presented very closely with inflammation of the bursa. So he went to the clinic on Wednesday 8th October and had four days box rest with the last two on controlled hand grazing before going into a postage stamped paddock which I increased slowly. On Tuesday night I thought I saw him point his toe but decided I'd imagined it. I guess at that point I already knew.

Wednesday morning exactly a week after his navicular injection he was very foot pointy and sore. I turned him out as I felt he was better moving and by the time the bute had kicked in he was barely noticeably lame. I went home in floods of tears knowing it was the end of the road and having that conversation with my partner. We decided to see how he was on the afternoon but I'd never seen him so sore so I made the call. Again an hour after his buted tea he was comfortable.

I was having my sacroiliac medicated at hospital next morning so we tore up to the yard later that day. Staff had kept him in he was that lame. We gave him a further two bute that afternoon and two the following morning. He had a lovely warm bran mash with lots of treats on the Friday morning and I was relieved to see him come out the stable sound, but I knew it wasn't sustainable and the bute was masking, it was 4 bute in 24hrs. The vet was due at 10am so I took him for a hand graze which he loved and stuffed his face with grass before passing peacefully a short time later. As he was about to go down for the final time I spoke to him and he flicked his ears towards my voice so he knew I was there and was with him at his final breath.

I'd owned him for 4 yrs and two days and loved him during all the time unconditionally. I'm absolutely heartbroken, it feels like life will never be the same again and I don't know what to do to fill the time. I'm glad we did all we could, I know that we tried everything we could for him and the money is immaterial at the end of the day.

I'm posting this not for sympathy but for closure and to let those who lent me unwavering support throughout know the sad outcome. Thank you for all your love.

I've decided I'm having a few months off the forum as its not doing my MH any good.

I will be back one day hopefully with news of another friend to love when the time is right and I'm having my stable held until that time. I have now lost 3 stone and six pounds and feel better for it. Thankfully I'm not working at the moment so can have some time out.

Anne
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That’s so miserable and bitterly disappointing, on top of all your efforts and other burdens, too, I’m very sorry for this loss.
Hopefully you will find some peace and renewal in the near future, take care.
 
So sorry, you went above and beyond what many people would have done and I’m sad that you couldn’t keep him sound. You’ve had a bad run of luck and now need to look after yourself and try and look forward . Good luck xx
 
So very, very sorry to hear this Anne, he was a beautiful horse and a fantastic character, he will leave a huge hole. All the best during your sabbatical and I hope we get good news of another horse in your life soon.
 
Really sorry to hear that your journey together had such a sad end and I hope things turn round for you soon and you find a new best friend. X
 
Thank you all. He was a very special horse, and a wonderful character with a sense of humour most humans would be envious of. He caused chaos wherever he went and had the staff in floods of laughter with his antics

I was incredibly lucky to have had him in my life for as long as i did. Just wish it could have been for longer but that's horses for you. Although he was retired and my biggest 'mistake' (being a missold horse) he was also my best 'mistake' and i never resented not heing able to ride him.

He had a great life and had a good death which is more than most humans have and that brings me great comfort.

See you in a few months x
 

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I really am so sorry. It does seem mad to care so much about a horse and person I never met and barely knew, but I really do feel for you. Lari came across as such a character, and your connection and love for him shone through. Well done on the weight loss (a small positive from all the stress) and I truly hope your crappy year has a better ending.
Take care and heal x
 
I'm truly sorry for your loss. RIP Lari - he was such a great horse.

Take care Birker - you have had to deal with so much recently. 🫂
 
So very sorry to read this news Birker. Lari was much loved and fortunate to have you in his life. Sending you massive cyber hugs.
 
So so sorry. You really and honestly couldn’t have done any more for him and you did far more than most would have in the circumstances but sounds like you made the call at absolutely the right time having exhausted all reasonable options to make him more comfortable.

Xxx
 
I'm so, so sorry. You tried so hard to give him a comfortable retirement and I wish you'd been able to make that happen for him. Look after yourself - it's been an awful year.

Sleep tight beautiful boy xx
 
Whilst I do not know you I feel like I can certainly say how much love and care you give to your horses. Lari was a lucky boy but knowing what living with a mom with dementia was like and then losing her, I am so glad that he found you. Because I am sure he was what you also needed - a beautiful and handsome distraction. I am just so sorry it ended like this.
All I know is that there is another waiting for you and my goodness will they have won the horsey owner lottery. Take care xx
 
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