Gozilla Yard Owner!! I thought owning horses was meant to be fun

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rosiekelso

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I'm a grass livery and have been at my current private yard for 2+ years. At times the YO seems to get a bee in her bonnet, has time on her hands and texts me quite demanding and unsettling texts....some have included....and usually when I'm trying to deal with my own stresses...

1. When I should be ordering my haylage
2. Price list for replacement fencing
3. Extra payments she wants me to pay for asap
4. Can she ride my horse - (I originally thought part loaning him with her would be a good idea however she just wanted to ride him whenever she wanted)
5. Using my stuff without asking
6. Using my fencing without asking at another yard
7. Allowing her horse to eat my hay and feed.

In the past I've managed to calm the situation down by either paying extra for water bills, moving my horse into sections she has requested with my electric fencing (having to buy extra electric fencing too) and trying my best to keep her happy with her demands. Recently the demands have have gotten worse and more regular.
I believe she wants me to leave the yard and is doing all she can to make it uncomfortable for me.

The goal posts keep moving and when she requests me to do something and I do it, a month later she is stating I have gone against her demands and wants something different! I'm starting to think there are more underlying issues here and I now want to leave the yard due to the sleepless night and stress it is causing...

She moved her horse off the yard a year ago to have her mare broken in..I didnt realise until a few weeks ago her mare is actually in another field in the same area so she is actually choosing to rent another field while I'm in her field alone??....unfortunately the mare has a back problem and won't ever be able to be ridden which is gutted for her but at the same time cause problems for me....my horse is sound and I ride him regular so I'm not sure if there is a level of jealously about this and I know the vets bills were massive so she is trying to sort this too....

The water tap was left on today when I visited the field which is something I had to pay extra towards in the summer because the bill seemed to be high....so I am unsure why this was left on?

She is now stating I owe her more money because I'm meant to pay her 4 weekly, not monthly - despite the fact I've always paid her monthly over the past two years...this changed yesterday??

She is also demanding I replace fencing due to my horse chewing some of it, which I can understand however sending me texts with prices lists is hardly nice or fair......when I originally moved my horse was in with two other horses which was great for him as he loves being with others...I am sure due to him being on his own for the last year has caused him to start chewing the fencing out of boredom....

I was due to meet up with the yard owner this weekend - her demand as she didnt want to talk over the phone however today I've received another negative text cancelling our original plan stating I have to meet her next saturday as if I don't have any of my own plans!!
I'm annoyed she feels she can dictate what I do and when....I feel she very much treats my like a child and I'm soooooo sick of it...I'm currently going to the yard in the early hours of the morning or late in the evening to afford her...its horrible...I dont even ride at the moment because I just dont want to see her....

She also moved my horse back into a section of the field which is muddy and sodden with no water due to her anger at the weekend that he was in a different part of the field she didnt want him to be in!! She disputing the fencing was damaged and he was not allowed in a certain part of the field?? She did this in the summer too when my horse was restricted to a field with no grass and no shade...in the end I had to put my foot down and was able to move him to a shaded part of the field using my electric fencing....now here we go again :(

Surely if the fencing is damaged not by my horse this should be fixed by the yard owner asap if I am paying for grass livery? I can't help but feel next weeks meet up will be a humiliating walk around the field pointing out what I owe her financially....
Is she allowed to do this and treat someone this way? I dont have a contract with her as shes actually very disorganised....I was meant to have monthly invoice receipts but that never happened either...I would like to hear what people think I should do as I currently feel very low about all this and have looked at possibly just loaning my horse out as I can't deal with these sorts of situations!!!!
 
Okay, that's a lot!


1. When I should be ordering my haylage - Reasonable, given the time of year.
2. Price list for replacement fencing - Reasonable, if it was your horse that caused the need for the replacement.
3. Extra payments she wants me to pay for asap - Reasonable, if these are things that you have agreed to or that are necessary.
4. Can she ride my horse - (I originally thought part loaning him with her would be a good idea however she just wanted to ride him whenever she wanted) - You need to sort out who rides when etc, or else end the part loan entirely.
5. Using my stuff without asking - Unreasonable but bearable, provide she doesn't damage it, etc.
6. Using my fencing without asking at another yard - Very unreasonable!
7. Allowing her horse to eat my hay and feed. Unreasonable if she fails to replace these before you need them, but could be understandable in an emergency or by arrangement with you.

If you can't work things out amicably, move yard. Life is too short, imo :)
 
What a nightmare......where in the country are you?

I'd be tempted to take your horse out for a long hack....to a new yard and not go back.....
 
Thanks for the advice...have tried to resolve these issues however it usually involves myself having to compromise and just hold my tongue...I'm fed up with it now as its making things miserable and I'm not riding as I'm trying to avoid her...It not worth the money im paying if I have to keep putting up with all this....I dread when I receive a text from her as its usually about me owing money and her complaining about something....its just not easy....more a hassle....
 
Do what Frumpoon suggests, this woman is bullying you. I also wouldn't keep a horse alone, especially on grass livery. Find a proper yard.
 
Why didn't you move your horse when he was left on his own? I wouldn't want mine left on his own for a day let alone a year. Find somewhere else asap.
 
Or possibly ask yourself why you have stayed put so long, are there lots of good points as to why you stay and put up with it?

If you think her behaviour is a ploy to get rid of you maybe there are mutual issues for you both to address.
 
Seriously this unpleasant person is unlikely to take well to you doing any kind of decent thing like giving notice and settling final bills, moving in a normal manner....just collect up the most valuable of your stuff and very quietly ****** off
 
Give yourself a good talking to woman!

This has absolutely nothing to do with her wanting you to leave - quite the opposite in fact. She thinks you're a pushover who will always hand over more cash.

Which you do.

Look for something else because she'll explode if you grow a backbone and give her a no and mean it!
 
Frumpoon said:
What a nightmare......where in the country are you?

I'd be tempted to take your horse out for a long hack....to a new yard and not go back.....
Click to expand...

this ^ she sounds like an utter nightmare
in fact , why are you still there ?
you will be far happier and enjoy your horse much more on a different yard , you will wish you'd moved ages ago
 
I would find somewhere else first, go one day and pack up my stuff and my horse and leave, paying whatever I think I owe.

It sounds like you will never please this lady, I agree that when you no longer play her game she will explode, either in anger or in tears and beg you to stay.

No way, once packed, I would leave. I would take a friend with me for moral support.

I would tell her merely that I have found accommodation for my horse where he will not be alone, as the damage to the fencing makes me realise how unhappy he is. She would probably offer to move a horse in with you, but I am sorry, it is all organised and I have paid my first month's rent, and I am leaving now as it is all sorted.

I would allow her a reasonable explanation as to why I left, so she can save face with other people.

Good luck and report back!
 
rosiekelso said:
Thanks for the advice...have tried to resolve these issues however it usually involves myself having to compromise and just hold my tongue...I'm fed up with it now as its making things miserable and I'm not riding as I'm trying to avoid her...It not worth the money im paying if I have to keep putting up with all this....I dread when I receive a text from her as its usually about me owing money and her complaining about something....its just not easy....more a hassle....
Click to expand...

There is no point in trying to resolve anything with her, it would be futile. She's not being like this because she wants you gone or because you aren't doing what she wants...she's being like this to be controlling and I would bet any money she is the kind of person that will tell others how much she does for you, bends over backwards for you...blah blah blah. I bet it's the other way around in reality.

Life is too short. You can't control other people, you can only control yourself, so if you want it to stop, you either front up to her and tell her to wind her neck in or you leave. The latter is by far the easier option and it's the one I would go with.

Can you tell I have been there and done it ;)

xxx
 
_GG_ said:
There is no point in trying to resolve anything with her, it would be futile. She's not being like this because she wants you gone or because you aren't doing what she wants...she's being like this to be controlling and I would bet any money she is the kind of person that will tell others how much she does for you, bends over backwards for you...blah blah blah. I bet it's the other way around in reality.

Life is too short. You can't control other people, you can only control yourself, so if you want it to stop, you either front up to her and tell her to wind her neck in or you leave. The latter is by far the easier option and it's the one I would go with.

Can you tell I have been there and done it ;)

xxx
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This. Its all about control. Pay up and leave; you wont appreciate how stressful your OP was (it stressed me out to read it) until you go somewhere more structured. Yes you might have some b*tching and favouritism but you wont be the focus of the YOs attention. She clearly has nothing to do with her time and it is all just unnecessary
 
Life is far too short and horses are far too expensive to put up with that sort of behaviour.

There are yard owners around who are reasonable, honest!!
 
When you say you part-loan with her, do you mean that the horse is yours and she shares it, or the other way round, or do you loan the horse together from some-one else?

If the horse is yours, I would just move asap, if its hers terminate the share and if the horse belongs to someone else, let them know that you will have to give notice, as per your contract.
 
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