Grooming and horse care tasks that I’ve never learned to do

[LadyGascoyne]

Can bandage
Can clip
Can do most first aid
Due to childhood riding instructor, can groom to the point that not a puff of dust is emitted when smacked on the rear (horse’s rear, not mine)

Can plait if absolutely forced. Now I solely buy horses where correct turnout is au natural - Arab or high % enough to qualify for loose manes and tails. I just cannot be bothered with anything other than a running plait in the mane and a Spanish-style tail knot if I’m doing ground work or dressage and want to see hocks.

 

[Dave's Mam]

I'm rubbish. Thank flip I have a native. I chip the mud off the bits that tack goes on in winter & get someone else to do the first clip, so I can follow their lines.
I CAN tie a Highwayman's Hitch, the one that lets go completely when you pull the free end.
Bandaging - never done it. Plaiting - only loose to help tame the mane. Trimming anything - never.
Poor Dave. LOL

 

[criso]

Not horse but rider grooming, I struggle with stocks

 

[ihatework]

I can do everything turnout wise, at a push I’d say my sharks teeth could be better. I just generally choose not to use these skills these days

 

[Ceifer]

I’ve not pulled a mane or tail in years. I learnt to pull manes/tails from a very old school groom. She had turned out for some of the best in the business in the 80s. She used to put a latex glove on and pull a tail until the horse bled. Which is barbaric. The tail would look awful for a week but I can’t deny that after that the result was beautiful.

I can say this looking at my horses big bush of a tail that I would never pull.

 

[Cragrat]

I've never properly pulled a tail - I did start once many many years ago, but my horse hated it, even straight after exercise, so I decided there was no reason to put her through it.

Thankfully never owned anything hairy enough to need its legs trimming.

I'm rubbish at straight lines when I clip, but I do it anyway. I always modify the standard clip shapes to what I think each horse needs at the time, so they look wierd anyway. They don't care!

I'm pretty prooud of my plaits if I use needle and thread, and it doesn't take me that long. I'm always embarrased by my attempts at rubber band plaits, and it seems to take me for ever :/

 

[Elf On A Shelf]

I've never pulled a tail properly. I have used a thinning knife, scissors and the odd bit of plucking to get the shape I want and keep on top of it every so often.

 

[Maddie Moo]

I’ve never pulled a tail as I’ve only worked for people who keep them natural or want them plaited.

I can plait well, pull a mane (traditional or solo comb) but I’m rubbish with trimming legs

 

[Caol Ila]

Can't clip.

Can't plait.

I can do a bandage. However, saying, "I have horses; I'm really good at it" was not convincing enough to the lassie in a Highland village hall who sprained her thumb playing a vaguely drunk late-night hall game. This happens at mountaineering club meets. The lassie was freaking out and wanted to go to A&E at Raigmore. F*ck the f*ck no. We were near Kingussie, no one wanted to drive to Inverness (and most people were not sober enough), and I am 100% sure that Ms. Sprained Thumb was the last person the A&E docs at Raigmore wanted to see at 2-in-the-f*ckin morning. After much faff, she phoned NHS after hours and got through to an out-of-hours GP in Aviemore and woke up the one sober person in the hall to drive her there. Closer than Inverness. Geoff, bless his heart, grumbled and took her to the GP, and when I saw the girl the next morning, she had a soft splint on her hand that was doing more or less what my expert horse bandage would have achieve. The lassie grumbled that the doc didn't do a lot and told her to get it x-rayed back in Glasgow. No sh1t.

 

[Lois Lame]

I can do a special magic knot that comes undone as soon as anyone looks at it. I don't even know how I do it.

I have this gift also

 

[Flame_]

I'm particularly useless at long reining. Tried many times over the years and managed to get plenty of practice in with some very forgiving, small driving ponies. I'm still hopeless, and attempting it with any kind of inexperienced or keen horse means disaster is still a sure thing. I just cannot react and handle the reins right.

 

[silv]

I can do everything well apart from Sharks Teeth, as I do a fair bit of showing it is a real pain. Even standing beside the horse with a video on my phone doesn't work lol, mental block I think. I cheated and bought stencil or else get someone else to do them before I go in the ring. Quarter marks or blocks are absolutely no problem. So annoying.

 

[Red-1]

The bean.

I am proficient at most things, including trimming feet, clipping, first aid, bandaging, pulling, washing willies etc but the actual bean escapes me.

I now get the equine winky washer twice a year as I seem to have a horse who produces a bean!

I am rubbish at plaiting too, but they do a job!

 

[little_critter]

Not horse but rider grooming, I struggle with stocks

I swear that one day I’m going to stab myself through the throat trying to get a stock pin through the material.

 

[little_critter]

I’ve not pulled a mane or tail in years. I learnt to pull manes/tails from a very old school groom. She had turned out for some of the best in the business in the 80s. She used to put a latex glove on and pull a tail until the horse bled. Which is barbaric. The tail would look awful for a week but I can’t deny that after that the result was beautiful.

I can say this looking at my horses big bush of a tail that I would never pull.

When I bought my horse he had a lovely pulled tail. I tried to keep it up, did my first pulling session, saw a few beeds of blood and said ‘never again’. A pretty tail is not worth that.

 

[ycbm]

Shall we have a what can you do bit?

I can put a nail in to hold a loose shoe on until the farrier is due. @TPO, I think, can nail on a whole set!

 

[Elf On A Shelf]

When I bought my horse he had a lovely pulled tail. I tried to keep it up, did my first pulling session, saw a few beeds of blood and said ‘never again’. A pretty tail is not worth that.

I was the same when I first did Gray's. His obviously wasn't pre-pulled but I couldn't Subject him to a full tail pull. A few plucks of stubborn hairs that wouldn't strip down was as much as I was willing to do away from the thinning blade. I never had the heart to do Jeff's as he had such a beautiful big, full tail. Plus he only did 1 season of showing which I plaited it for.

 

[TPO]

Shall we have a what can you do bit?

I can put a nail in to hold a loose shoe on until the farrier is due. @TPO, I think, can nail on a whole set!

It's been 20 years now (), but yeah, I could shoe.

 

[SpeedyPony]

I can plait tails, but flatly refuse to learn to pull them- I think they look awful pulled!
I struggle plaiting manes- I can just about do it but not well, so generally don't bother.
I don't do very good clips- function over form is my constant refrain in the winter.

 

[Jenko109]

Oh loads of stuff

I cant
Clip
Plait
Bandage
Never had anything that wears boots so wouldnt be too confident putting boots on
Lunging (properly)
Measure for a rug
measure for a bit
I'm never confident with the amount of wrinkles when putting a new bit on a bridle. I always ask someone to double check.
Fit a martingale. I can put one on but unsure how loose it should be so ask someone to check the fit (not that I've used one in probably a decade)
Quarter Marks
Have never put studs in

As for riding, I dont really know the canter aids. I forget which leg is meant to go back and which is meant to be on the girth. I just lean a little and put my leg on and it works just fine I don't understand phrases like 'leg to hand' or what the fuss is with the outside rein.

 

[humblepie]

I swear that one day I’m going to stab myself through the throat trying to get a stock pin through the material.

I never got the stock that well but a lovely friend bought me a beautiful pre tied one that I use. On the human front, I never mastered the art of a false bun .... someone helped me once get my hair and false bun in order, there was so much hairspray involved that I think we may have jointly added to global warming.

 

[ihatework]

I'm particularly useless at long reining. Tried many times over the years and managed to get plenty of practice in with some very forgiving, small driving ponies. I'm still hopeless, and attempting it with any kind of inexperienced or keen horse means disaster is still a sure thing. I just cannot react and handle the reins right.

You have just reminded me I have this disability too. Absolutely skill-less at long reining. I just don’t do it now.
But I’m pretty proficient at other ways of doing in hand work

 

[nikkimariet]

I would say the one thing I can’t do is plait a tail - never had the need and don’t do the discipline to require learning one. I find French plaiting hard and it’s taken me years to be able to do a forelock!

Always shared grooming duties with PS so learnt on the go from a fairly young age. She wins at the quarter marks class though, my sharks teeth could never

 

[Alibear]

I can't clip, which surprises people, but only having 1 horse in work each winter meant it was cheaper to pay for 4 x clips than buy clippers and go through that grief myself.
So far Amber hasn't needed to be clipped at all anyway and Daisy never did. I chose to compete in ranch riding, which means she gets to keep her long mane, no western banding required. Note to Alibear don't let LEC near her
I know how to band but have never done it so I know I would need a long time and several goes to get the correct look but I can plait English, Spanish and tails etc.
I've also never done quarter marks and as I can't see a straight line for toffee I don't think that's one I will ever achieve.
But I can do most things, I simply choose not to

 

[Ceifer]

Oh I can’t fit those bl**dy lunging aids people use. Pessoa’s, John Whittaker things. I just look at them and they knot up.

 

[lynz88]

Plaiting with thread!

Thread is too slippery. Waxed string and quik-braid! I can't braid with elastics nor braid a tail. I seem to have trouble keeping a poultice in place as well apart from super gluing it to my horse. I have tried about 60 billion different ways and no matter what he manages to take them off.

 

[sportsmansB]

I can plait well and quickly, both manes and tails, bands and thread
But I've never got the hang of quarter markers

I purposefully don't clip as I am quite particular and I know that if I did do it, I'd get lumbered with it as a job so I swerve it. One of my best friends clips as part of her freelance job and does a super job, I'd rather pay her a couple of times a year than end up spending all my winter clipping the whole yard...

 

[ecb89]

Banks. I just can’t do them. They fall down, look wonky etc. so jealous of proper squared off banks.

 

[lynz88]

I've never heard of pulling a tail? Needless to say I don't know how to do it!

 

[expanding_horizon]

I can plait well and quickly, both manes and tails, bands and thread
But I've never got the hang of quarter markers

I purposefully don't clip as I am quite particular and I know that if I did do it, I'd get lumbered with it as a job so I swerve it. One of my best friends clips as part of her freelance job and does a super job, I'd rather pay her a couple of times a year than end up spending all my winter clipping the whole yard...

When I lived on site at busy event yard where they came back at 10pm from one event and left at 4am for the next (as a DIY livery), I purposely didnt want to learn to stud, plait, or clip to professional levels! Bad enough I one day mucked out the WHOLE yard as a favour!!