Grrrr Someone give me a slap!

[Hovis_and_SidsMum]

I had arranged a hack with a girl at the yard for friday morning so tootled down to meet her. It was pretty windy but she thought we would be ok so we set off. OMG it was like riding in a wind tunnel as we headed out for the woods. Hovis was blatently terrified - snorting at daffodils and spooking at signs etc. He settled a bit in the woods but i knew we'd have to go back the way we'd come to get out.
I was TERRIFIED. I mean utterly petrified but we got back with no incident.
Now the girls opinion was "Well done. He's only 4.5 years old, he was really brave- I've know adult horses who would have freaked in that weather - we shouldn't have gone. But you controlled him and you now know if you can handle him in this extreme weather, you can handle most things." My instructor felt the same way as does hubby.
So why do I feel like an utter failure and my confidence is back in my boots? I didn't fall off, I controlled him and we made it back ok.
But I know how i FELT. I might have looked calm but i was terrified and therefore i feel like an utter wuss. I now don't want to go to this show tomorrow and feel like an utter failure as a rider with no confidence at all.
Will someone please give me a slap.

 

[Keltic]

No slaps........
(((((hugs instead))))) your doing great stop beating yourself up!!

 

[AmyMay]

Listen - I didn't ride two days out of the four I have just had off because the weather was so foul, and the wind was quite frankly dangerous. So you're doing better than me. I wouldn't have ridden a youngster in that weather. So well done you.

Slap, slap, slap!!!!!!

 

[bex1984]

*slap*

My guess is you're letting your mind wander to the "what ifs" - when you need to focus on what actually happened.

You need to give yourself a pat on the back for keeping control even when you felt out of control inside. You need to celebrate this achievement.

Perhaps you should re-write your post to a self-indulgent one about how you coped out in the wind with a spooky young horse. Doing that might make you feel better?

Go to the show tomorrow - I bet you'll feel a lot better afterwards

 

[Fransurrey]

I agree with Bex. You're dwelling too much on the what ifs. I'm terrible for it! I did ride on Fri and Sat, but on Sun I'd had enough - going shopping for DIY equipment was actually more appealing!!!

Go to the show and have fun!

 

[Nickijem]

You certainly don't deserve a slap! You coped like a true capable and effective rider. Of course you felt scared - that's a natural reaction but you coped and you are obviously able to manage his spookiness. It was an extreme situation too with the wind as bad as it was (I didn't ride!) so I'm sure you'll cope fine at the show tomorrow. Go along and tell yourself you are a confident , capable rider and you will be!

 

[NeilM]

I used to race single seater cars. It was only a hobby sport, but highly competitive and we used to drive a speeds well over 100 mph.

The fear you have described is how you feel just about every lap of every race on at least one or two corners. You have to drive beyond your capability (10 / 10ths as they call it), in order to be in with any chance.

You endure it at the time, and revel in the adrenaline of fear and success afterwards. In your case you succeeded in controlling your horse in a very testing and difficult situation and you should feel very pleased.

Next time you come across something a little 'spooky', it won't seem anything like as bad as your hack out in a gale

 

[Hovis_and_SidsMum]

I can assure you i didn't look calm or capable. I think i spent most of the hack clinging around his neck in terror! I was still shaking an hour after we got back. I am an utter pansy.

 

[jenbleep]

hey you sound exactly like me - i rode F on Monday and he was a terror when i first got on him, but like Bex has said (got it in one!

) I always worry about the 'what ifs' and I won't let him ruin my confidence when he acts in the way

I just won't let it!! In the end it turned out I had a lovely ride and lesson

and must take confidence from what actually happened.

You are braver than me - I wouldn't have taken him out! so good on you - and remember what did happen, and take confidence from that, and you can do it

HHO is a great place for advice - I felt like you yesterday but have pulled myself together for today