Goya
Well-Known Member
Merry Christmas to you all .......!!
Ho! Ho! Ho!
> The Rocking Song
> Little Jesus, sweetly sleep, do not stir;
> We will lend a coat of fur,
> We will rock you, rock you, rock you,
> We will rock you, rock you, rock you:
>
> Fur is no longer appropriate wear for small infants, both due to
> risk of allergy to animal fur, and for ethical reasons. Therefore faux
> fur, a nice cellular blanket or perhaps micro-fleece material should
> be considered a suitable alternative.
>
> Please note, only persons who have been subject to a Criminal
> Records Bureau check and have enhanced clearance will be permitted to
> rock baby Jesus. Persons must carry their CRB disclosure with them at
> all times and be prepared to provide three forms of identification
> before rocking commences.
>
>
> Jingle Bells
> Dashing through the snow
> In a one horse open sleigh
> O'er the fields we go
> Laughing all the way
>
> A risk assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is
> considered safe for members of the public to travel on. The risk
> assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only
> one horse for such a venture, particularly if passengers are of larger
> proportions. Please note, permission must be gained from landowners
> before entering their fields. To avoid offending those not
> participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is
> moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.
>
>
> While Shepherds Watched
> While shepherds watched
> Their flocks by night
> All seated on the ground
> The angel of the Lord came down
> And glory shone around
>
> The union of Shepherd's has complained that it breaches health and
> safety regulations to insist that shepherds watch their flocks without
> appropriate seating arrangements being provided, therefore benches,
> stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available. Shepherds have also
> requested that due to the inclement weather conditions at this time of
> year that they should watch their flocks via cctv cameras from
> centrally heated shepherd observation huts.
> Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining
> his / her glory all around she / he must ascertain that all shepherds
> have been issued with glasses capable of filtering out the harmful
> effects of UVA, UVB and Glory.
>
>
> Little Donkey
> Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road
> Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load
>
> The RSPCA have issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a
> load that a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry, also
> included in the guidelines is guidance regarding how often to feed the
> donkey and how many rest breaks are required over a four hour plodding
> period. Please note that due to the increased risk of pollution from
> the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are required to wear face masks to
> prevent inhalation of any airborne particles. The donkey has expressed
> his discomfort at being labelled 'little' and would prefer just to be
> simply referred to as Mr. Donkey. To comment upon his height or lack
> thereof may be considered an infringement of his equine rights.
>
>
> We Three Kings
> We three kings of Orient are
> Bearing gifts we traverse afar
> Field and fountain, moor and mountain
> Following yonder star
>
> Whilst the gift of gold is still considered acceptable - as it may
> be redeemed at a later date through such organisations as 'cash for
> gold' etc, gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to
> the potential risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions.
> A suggested gift alternative would be to make a donation to a worthy
> cause in the recipients name or perhaps give a gift voucher.
> We would not advise that the traversing kings rely on navigation by
> stars in order to reach their destinations and suggest the use of RAC
> routefinder or satellite navigation, which will provide the quickest
> route and advice regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per the
> guidelines from the RSPCA for Mr Donkey, the camels carrying the three
> kings of Orient will require regular food and rest breaks. Facemasks
> for the three kings are also advisable due to the likelihood of dust
> from the camels hooves.
>
>
> Rudolph the red nosed reindeer
> Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
> had a very shiny nose.
> And if you ever saw him,
> you would even say it glows.
>
> You are advised that under the Equal Opportunities for All policy,
> it is inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard to the
> ruddiness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion
> of Mr R Reindeer from the Reindeer Games will be considered
> discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those
> found guilty of this offence. A full investigation will be implemented
> and sanctions - including suspension on full pay - will be considered
> whilst this investigation takes place.
Ho! Ho! Ho!
> The Rocking Song
> Little Jesus, sweetly sleep, do not stir;
> We will lend a coat of fur,
> We will rock you, rock you, rock you,
> We will rock you, rock you, rock you:
>
> Fur is no longer appropriate wear for small infants, both due to
> risk of allergy to animal fur, and for ethical reasons. Therefore faux
> fur, a nice cellular blanket or perhaps micro-fleece material should
> be considered a suitable alternative.
>
> Please note, only persons who have been subject to a Criminal
> Records Bureau check and have enhanced clearance will be permitted to
> rock baby Jesus. Persons must carry their CRB disclosure with them at
> all times and be prepared to provide three forms of identification
> before rocking commences.
>
>
> Jingle Bells
> Dashing through the snow
> In a one horse open sleigh
> O'er the fields we go
> Laughing all the way
>
> A risk assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is
> considered safe for members of the public to travel on. The risk
> assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only
> one horse for such a venture, particularly if passengers are of larger
> proportions. Please note, permission must be gained from landowners
> before entering their fields. To avoid offending those not
> participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is
> moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.
>
>
> While Shepherds Watched
> While shepherds watched
> Their flocks by night
> All seated on the ground
> The angel of the Lord came down
> And glory shone around
>
> The union of Shepherd's has complained that it breaches health and
> safety regulations to insist that shepherds watch their flocks without
> appropriate seating arrangements being provided, therefore benches,
> stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available. Shepherds have also
> requested that due to the inclement weather conditions at this time of
> year that they should watch their flocks via cctv cameras from
> centrally heated shepherd observation huts.
> Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining
> his / her glory all around she / he must ascertain that all shepherds
> have been issued with glasses capable of filtering out the harmful
> effects of UVA, UVB and Glory.
>
>
> Little Donkey
> Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road
> Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load
>
> The RSPCA have issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a
> load that a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry, also
> included in the guidelines is guidance regarding how often to feed the
> donkey and how many rest breaks are required over a four hour plodding
> period. Please note that due to the increased risk of pollution from
> the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are required to wear face masks to
> prevent inhalation of any airborne particles. The donkey has expressed
> his discomfort at being labelled 'little' and would prefer just to be
> simply referred to as Mr. Donkey. To comment upon his height or lack
> thereof may be considered an infringement of his equine rights.
>
>
> We Three Kings
> We three kings of Orient are
> Bearing gifts we traverse afar
> Field and fountain, moor and mountain
> Following yonder star
>
> Whilst the gift of gold is still considered acceptable - as it may
> be redeemed at a later date through such organisations as 'cash for
> gold' etc, gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to
> the potential risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions.
> A suggested gift alternative would be to make a donation to a worthy
> cause in the recipients name or perhaps give a gift voucher.
> We would not advise that the traversing kings rely on navigation by
> stars in order to reach their destinations and suggest the use of RAC
> routefinder or satellite navigation, which will provide the quickest
> route and advice regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per the
> guidelines from the RSPCA for Mr Donkey, the camels carrying the three
> kings of Orient will require regular food and rest breaks. Facemasks
> for the three kings are also advisable due to the likelihood of dust
> from the camels hooves.
>
>
> Rudolph the red nosed reindeer
> Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
> had a very shiny nose.
> And if you ever saw him,
> you would even say it glows.
>
> You are advised that under the Equal Opportunities for All policy,
> it is inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard to the
> ruddiness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion
> of Mr R Reindeer from the Reindeer Games will be considered
> discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those
> found guilty of this offence. A full investigation will be implemented
> and sanctions - including suspension on full pay - will be considered
> whilst this investigation takes place.
