Hacked out on main road for first time yesterday - confidence issues

fine_and_dandy

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Yesterday, decided to take advantage of weather and go out for a hack on Kia and with my bud and her cob who is fab for being sane whilst out.

At the last minute, bud said "why don't we go over the road and round the fields." Initially we were going to go round the lanes of the village as it is quiet, but my bud really fancied going for a longer hack. Kia was very excited and happy to be going out.

This main road is a 50 mph limit although some cars do go faster. You do get buses and lorries down it too. There is a wide grass verge which can take two horses riding abreast very easily. I hate this road with a passion - I have never had a bad experience riding out, but having hacked out on it before, and knowing how bl**dy awful the etiquette of the drivers that go on there are, I was nervous.

Kia, it turns out, thinks the white lines on the road are going to eat her, as are traffic signs
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We crossed the road after staring at the white lines and hopping on them and then settled in. She was loving it - she was not at all bothered by the lorries or anything - she even stopped to pee at the side of the road
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The first few traffic signs she had a good look at and really swerved when looking at them which either meant she tried to get behind Abban and therefore nearly in the road, or she bumped into Abban.

As soon as we were off the main road, I was fine and back to my old self, completely relaxed, mooching along and Kia noticed and mooched about too. A couple of trains went past us (about 30 feet from us) and she wasn't bothered. Eventually, the track brings you out onto the main road again, so we decided to ride down for a little way, cross over and then go up the lane which brings us to the top entrance to the yard. Kia had to be on Abban's right so she was to the hedge.

I was so stupidly nervous - I have never been this bad before - and Kia picked up on it. I managed to slow her up, and we went past one of the big road signs that had place names etc on it. She swerved right round it, tried to get on the left side of Abban and her back end went into the road - although no traffic. We then crossed over before I could think about anything else and got onto the lane, and again, I completely chillaxed. There were a couple of dogs running and barking and she took no notice, a man with a hose out the front of his house...she was perfect. We did come across those pony eating flowers...daffodils
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Kia was fantastic; she isn;t bothered by traffic or dogs or anything else and she notices when I do relax and when I don't.

I feel like a complete wuss for being so nervous about that road and although I tried to appreciate the good points of our hack, all I can think of atm is how bad I felt at the time and I am so disappointed with myself. I feel like my confidence has taken a knock with it
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I can't bear the thought of going out on that road again atm, but I know I should. Kia really looked after me and it should have been the other way around.

How can I help myself in these situations? My bud was great, she always is and I always hack out with her. One of my concerns was that when Kia first saw a road sign, or a bus stop or the white lines on the road, she swerves away from it, either into Abban or behind him and on a couple of occasions into the road, which worried me more than her. I used my outside leg to try and stop her, but it didn't seem to work - I think I need to work in the school with that, so what can I do?

I am so disappointed and angry with myself, but feel in that situation that my confidence has taken a huge dent.

Creme eggs for getting this far
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I'm with you on this one. I posted a couple of weeks ago about riding over motorway bridges on a pony that isn't bothered at all about them it's me who is terrified.

I used to be fine riding in a bit of traffic when I was much younger but for the last 8 years I've either not done much hacking or have hacked on the quietest roads imaginable (think massive wide grass verge to ride on and more that 2 land rovers in 15 mins is a case of congestion!).

I now ride in a village that is quite busy, on a bus route and to get to good hacking I have to go over a motorway bridge. It is definitely me and not the pony that is scared of the traffic. I hack with others and on my own, obviously with others is less scary.

Things that make me feel a bit better include wearing flourescents - esp a vest saying caution young horse please pass slow (horse is 7 ). I actually did the motorway bridge on the horse both ways the other day for which I was very proud. I think the more you do it the more confident you become. As recommended on my other thread I have also taken up singing to the pony and talking a lot to encourage me to relax and brave. Poor pony now probably knows all of the words to Girls Alouds greatest hits and the answers to all sorts of potential interview questions!

Also, don't do anything that will wind you up to the point of winding up the horse. I got off and walked the first few times over the motorway bridge as I was so scared it was causing the pony to get nervous.
 
This is it, it is me that is bothered - and only on this road!! Kia is fine, and it is me that is causing her to worry. I very nearly got off yesterday but didn't; my bud bullied me into staying on and I am glad I did, but I just can't stop thinking about how I felt at that point.

I remember, if I do get nervous, to try and smile as you relax, and try and sing songs, but my mind just got into such a silly state yesterday that I either couldn't sing, or I was singing the same line over and over between my teeth.

I never used to be like this and I am so annoyed with myself. I was thinking of trying exercises to get her responding to my leg more swiftly in the school so she doesn't ignore it, and do it around obstacles in the school, as well as walking her out in hand with someone else a few times so she doesn't see the lines on the road or road signs as being an issue, which may help me.

I might try and see when the road is at its quietest and take her out to have a look at these things and jus spend time round the signs etc.

I feel so deflated, I really do.
 
Sympathise about the white markings , when I first got Sam he tried to jump over or go round them all , just think he'd never seen them before (he's polish). Still does it now if he's having a nutty day!
 
The problem with Kia is she is very very sensitive to your mood etc so she will pick up everything, which doesnt help you unfortuently. I think you just need to keep at it, keep going out and doing things that worry you slightly, and eventually you will forget what the problem was. Dont think madam is actually afraid of anything, well I couldnt find a thing that bothered her! lol


Hows she going other than that?
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Omg your describing the exact same hack I had today, well the roads and the trains ect, my horse was quite well behaved! We even got caught under a bridge when a train went over and he just took a few fast walk steps, nothing more
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Your mare sounds like she definatly picks up on how your feeling. Hopefully now you've done the ride and had a good experience the more you do it the more confident you'll feel x
 
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The problem with Kia is she is very very sensitive to your mood etc so she will pick up everything, which doesnt help you unfortuently. I think you just need to keep at it, keep going out and doing things that worry you slightly, and eventually you will forget what the problem was. Dont think madam is actually afraid of anything, well I couldnt find a thing that bothered her! lol


Hows she going other than that?
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This is it, she is fab! I notice with her it is a "three times" rule; one time to kinda jump at it and have eyes on stalks, second time to give it a wary glance and the third time to be fine! She is very sensitive to mood and the second I relaxed off the road, so did she. It is something I need to get over - I have never been as bad as I was yesterday and I'm so annoyed with myself. I will go out again, round the quieter lanes first and then venture onto the main road, I need to ready myself for it and remember the good points and not the bad.

You're right, she isn't afraid, she just looks. She did make me laugh with the white lines - at one point we were trying to walk over them while still looking down at them
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The daffs were a certain pony killer until she bit the head off of one
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Other than my blip yesterday, she is brilliant. She is in season atm (not that you'd notice at all) and flirting like mad with Loopy (andalusian stallion who she fancies).

You got any ideas for little exercises etc I can do to get her to listen to my leg when she has a swerve?
 
Glad you are getting on OK other than that, was a huge relief that she went to such a lovely home.


Have you started lateral work with her yet? If not then I would start to introduce some shoulder-fore and leg yield so that she learns to move away from your leg when you ask her. Another good exercise is riding 'squares' in walk and asking for her to pivot on her haunches in the corners, will really get her listening and get you better at riding very accurately so when it comes to road work and obstacles you are more prepared
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Glad you are getting on OK other than that, was a huge relief that she went to such a lovely home.


Have you started lateral work with her yet? If not then I would start to introduce some shoulder-fore and leg yield so that she learns to move away from your leg when you ask her. Another good exercise is riding 'squares' in walk and asking for her to pivot on her haunches in the corners, will really get her listening and get you better at riding very accurately so when it comes to road work and obstacles you are more prepared
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Aww thank you
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I always said I wouldn't have a mare and she has made me so glad I have her. I love my boys but love the bond I have with her. We've also found out that her favourite thing is to stretch her head out and have her face rubbed...she's started going very pinky as well
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We've been...I'll say "attempting" the squares in walk
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she is so funny when she does it, I've got into the habit of saying "stomp stomp stomp" when she turns for the corner and she listens for it now
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Once she has got used to leg yielding properly - we're not quite there yet - I think I'll do it round objects so she gets the idea too.

How's Blaze and the gorgeous Welly? I still want him you know
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Both are very well, you are welcome to Welly! He refuses to stay in his field and think it is much more fun to escape into the menage and charge about like a mad thing! Think he needs to start work....

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PMSL do you think he is giving you a hint about starting work? He is more than welcome to come and charge about like a mad thing with me
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He just has the mst adorable face...nothing like a welshy to melt a heart
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I must try and remember to get someone to take pics of Kia working so you can see how she's doing
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She's lost her podge, starting to lose her hairyness and is starting to get a firm little bottom from the hill work we've been doing
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I've had a lot of requests from people to ride her too, they love her to bits.
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Well done for venturing out - I think the only thing to do is keep doing it!! that and drink plenty of Rescue Remedy before you go so you are not so nervous and maybe she will be more relaxed with you. I think we have a 'thing' that is a bigger monster in our head than it really is.
 
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