Hacking with others... am i right to be upset?

[1Lucie]

Opinions please...

I can be a nervous rider but for the past year have owned my own horse and been hacking, jumping, started dressage and the odd show. Was feeling v happy with my horse as really felt we were gettin somewhere!

However, got to the yard sat and some girls were going on a hack. I asked if i could join them.. they agreed but seemed reluctant. They are both novices and i regularly hack with one of them.

Anyway, we went out and i was left at the back and made to feel extremly awkward

We are walking along an ajoining track to the main bridleway when they say 'shall we canter' and literally take off. I'm still on the adjoining track and they litterally bolt off as they turn the corner, on purpose in canter. Absolutly no trotting as a warm up and we'd only been walking for round 3-4mins!

So naturally,my horse wants to follow. I didnt allow him to because i didnt want to be bolting around a corner. I held him and as i got onto track, a dancing fit followed by 3 bucks and rear from my ned. I dimounted for my own safety as the others were now bombing along completly oblvious and probably 100yards ahead by now. Anyway i walk with ned and catch them up at the bottom of the bridleway, 'they didnt realise until they got to the end apparently'.

Anyway, i remount and continue on our hack. We were nearly home when they decided they wantd to ride on someones garden/field which is clearly private property. So they say 'shall we canter on here' and my reply is 'no, u need to ask the people first and my horse hasnt been himself.'

Cue, others completly ignoring me and cantering around on someones garden. Again i tried to ride my horse on the road next to them to get home but obviously ned wasnt happy with this. So i dismounted and just walked him home on foot, leaving them.

Am i right to be angry? My horse is an excellent hacker normally and i'm upset that this happened.

I am also a little concernd that this behaviour was on purpose to upset my horse, as of late i've had the 'i can jump bigger than you' and 'i'm buying a car better than yours'.

Sorry for th rant, but other horsey peoples opinions would be great because my hubby doesnt really understand as a non horsey person

 

[HaffiesRock]

They sound jealous to me. I would just let them get on with it and do your own thing. Don't let them get you down, they are just silly and childish.

Keep smiling and well done for standing up for yourself and not putting your horse in danger. xx

 

[Tinsel Town]

yes you have a right to be upset!!

that sort of behaviour is rude and down right dangerous, if you hadnt managed to hold your horse it could have ended up in a somewhat sticky situation! and you/ him could have been injured!

i used to be a hack escort for a riding school (slightly different situation) but we would always do what the most novice person was comfortable with, everyone knew what we were doing and when, we would trot to start with, canter, with instructions shouted out by me, and we would keep a check on the back of the ride and shout when we were coming back to trot so everyone knew what was happening. if someone wasnt happy or we had a horse that was getting a bit full of it we would pull up, simple! hacking is supposed to be fun!

I dont know what these people were thinking but by the reluctance of them allowing you to go with them i would think they were trying to do something so you wouldnt ask again to go in the future?

anyway i would be having a word with them or yard manager/ yard owner!

 

[LaurenBay]

Yes you are right to be upset, they should have warned you they are going to canter.

As a nervy hacker myself, I will always ask my fellow liveries which pace they are likely to be going. If they say they are going to be cantering a lot I won't go as its not fair for me too hold them back.

 

[PingPongPony]

I would say, one on hand yes you are right because the girls should have been more considerate of you and your horse and someones private property. However on the other hand i'd also say you're wrong because its you who asked to join in with their hack which they may have planned to be a fast gallopy hack hence they were reluctant to say yes however, they should have told you what their plan for the hack was before saying yes. I've been at both ends of the stick and i now either invite someone with me on a hack or wait to be invited because everyone hacks differently, me and my friend do fast work (but we do trot to warm up beforehand) but we didn't want to be rude to the new girl on the yard and say no when she asked if she can come with us, it turned out that her boyfriend was coming along on foot as well so as a result our hack was walk and a tiny bit of trot followed by standing to wait for the boyfriend to catch up.
So i think they should have either said no, tell you what their hack was gonna be like and be more considerate of you and your horse

 

[Inthesticks]

I would also be upset with them for their actions, as it could have caused a serious accident.

However, IMO they didnt want you to hack with them, and maybe thats because of your nervousness in the past or your general common sense not to do silly things, which they obviously wanted to do. They wanted to canter around etc and they maybe felt like you would hold them back.

I am not justifying what they did at all its wrong but I think you should find some more sensible people to hack out with, that want to go at your speed and has some common sense.

 

[MerrySherryRider]

Yes, yes, yes. You are right to be angry. They behaved badly, rudely and dangerously.
You, on the other hand, behaved with responsibility to the owner of the garden, your horse and yourself. Good for you.

BTW, cantering blind round a bend is the height of stupidity. They could have run over a walker or a child or come to grief on meeting another horse.

 

[Shantara]

I've had something similar recently! I rode out with 3 girls and they were great until the way home. Now, I'm always up for a gallop, when it's safe. It was not safe. There's rocks in the ground, a rabbit hole somewhere hidden by grass and extremely boggy bits.
I told them to have a very steady canter until we hit the dangerous bit, then to pull back and walk.
They all bomb off at a gallop and I had no hope of holding Ned back, even if I'd got off, he'd have gone. I was screaming at them to stop, but they simply said "I can't stop!" even though they were making no attempt to stop and were obviously kicking the ponies on!!
When they finally pulled up I didn't bother saying anything to them, they'd just ignored me. Instead, I told YO and she gave them the verbal thrashing of a life time. They won't be doing that again any time soon.

Anyway, you've very right to be upset! If you've got a YO/YM I'd tell them!

 

[burtie]

I'm going to go against the grain. I'm guessing you had some idea what these people like to do on Hacks, and you did ask to join them. They seemed reluctant. I'm guessing they are also quite young and perhaps didn't want to upset you by saying 'No'.

I'm not going to get in to the rights and wrongs of what they did, but for the future when asking to join groups, perhaps you should also ask what they plan to do, especially as you admit to being nervous?

 

[monkeybum13]

I'm sorry your hack wasn't enjoyable, they sound very rude

Whenever I hack out in company I always check with others what pace they want to go at and check with them when they are ready to change pace. I'm usually in front so I do keep looking behind to check they're ok, especially when cantering as this can be quite exciting for some horses!

 

[Emilieu]

I can understand why you are annoyed but to be fair you asked to go with them and they shouldn't have to change their plans because you join them.
I'm not saying what they were doing was responsible but it is up to them what they do just as it is up to you what you want to do. I don't generally ask to join unless I am invited because I am aware that others might want to have private conversations or have particular plans of their own - especially the younger riders.

 

[partypremier]

Maybe just wait to be invited next time, they seemed very inconsiderate anyway. I would not bother with them again. Sounds like you have been going great with your horse hope this incident doesn't set you both back.
For what it is worth I always think everyone should look out for each other on a hack there are enough unhelpful inconsiderate road users about without other riders given each other grief

 

[imaginegenerous]

Yes, you have every right to be upset. You haven't specified how old the other riders were but if they are anything from 12 or so upwards they should know to let all the riders in the group when they want to change pace etc and they should certainly know not to ride on people's gardens. It's just common courtesy, I know I knew things like that at that age. Having said that, if there's references being made to having better cars/houses etc it makes me think they're older, certainly old enough to know better. Glad to hear both you and your horse were ok.

 

[wench]

Tell yo they have been on private property where they shouldn't have gone

 

[Chestnutmare]

Common courtesy! Simples.

I would say though not to go out again with them, regardless of if you asked to go out with them they should have mentioned what the pace would be etc and ask you first that your OK with that. For them to just bomb off like that sounds just so disrespectful as it could have caused a rather nasty accident to both you and your horse.

I would keep to going out yourself or with someone at a similar level or at least understands your nervousness and are prepared to assist you in overcoming this.

I would have been fuming myself! Well done though for not going with them on private land, and leading your horse back very wise, just a shame it ruined your hack out.

 

[Sugar_and_Spice]

They're behaviour was off, yes. But perhaps you'll think twice about inviting yourself along next time! You put them in a bit of an awkward position by asking if you could come. They probably didn't want to offend you by saying no, especially if you're friends with one of them. They may have been reluctant to have you along because they wanted a private chat, or because they knew it wasn't going to be your sort of ride.

 

[Capriole]

I can see two sides to this really.

You asked to go along on a planned ride to which you were not invited. The other riders had likely planned where they were going and at what speed. I dont really think its on to ask to join other people then dictate the route and how fast everyone is going, if I had planned fast work and someone tagged along then wanted me to walk everywhere Id be peeved if Im totally honest.
However, Im a nice person so if they were nervous I would go at their speed.

But next time I had fast work planned Id be careful not to invite them along or to agree that they come along if they ask. Which is possibly what they were doing?

On the other hand, if someone is riding out with you and are struggling for any reason, its good manners to tailor the ride to suit that person. So yes they were rude.

 

[**Vanner**]

I would also be upset with them for their actions, as it could have caused a serious accident.

However, IMO they didnt want you to hack with them, and maybe thats because of your nervousness in the past or your general common sense not to do silly things, which they obviously wanted to do. They wanted to canter around etc and they maybe felt like you would hold them back.

I am not justifying what they did at all its wrong but I think you should find some more sensible people to hack out with, that want to go at your speed and has some common sense.

I do agree with this. They should have explained they wanted a fast hack then you could have decided. I always tell someone if I'm intending on doing more than walk.

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

I'm going to go against the grain. I'm guessing you had some idea what these people like to do on Hacks, and you did ask to join them. They seemed reluctant. I'm guessing they are also quite young and perhaps didn't want to upset you by saying 'No'.

I'm not going to get in to the rights and wrongs of what they did, but for the future when asking to join groups, perhaps you should also ask what they plan to do, especially as you admit to being nervous?

Hmm yes I'm sorry but I'd tend to agree with this basically. I wouldn't describe myself as a big-and-bold confident rider; and there are some friends who (whilst being very good friends with!!) I'd NEVER ever consider going riding with as they just want to hoon at every opportunity, and I know that, so don't go with them.

Its always difficult in a "yard" situation where one joins in a group like this; they were obviously taking the rise out of you OP, BUT really TBH the onus was on you (joining their group) to ask them what they intended to do/where they were going to go, then you'd have had some idea of the pace involved and could have dipped out if you'd wanted.

Agree they were irresponsible and downright rude to go where they shouldn't have; think you should tell the YO about this coz else the yard in general will get a bad name.

Personally, next time I'd find some hacking companions who you like & trust, and are happy to go at a pace you & your horse can deal with, rather than this rude and obviously immature bunch.

You obviuosly need to get your confidence back at hacking out in company; why not ask one of the staff at the yard if you could hack out with him/her & maybe one or two others? and take it from there??

 

[lastchancer]

Yeah they just sound like muppets, there's a lot of them around horses these days, just keep away from 'em and don't let them get to you.
Once upon a time riders were expected to have common sense and manners, now it's always the horse/general public to blame when something goes wrong...

 

[Kallibear]

Yes and no.

They sounds irresponsibble and the kind of riders that give horse riders a bad name. They shouldn't have been in the garden.

However it sounds like you were the annoying person who holds everyone up too . I've been out with people like that and feel I've had to babysit and nurse them all the way round. Can't trot where we'd normally trot, can't canter on the little short bits we'd normally canter on, certainly not goinging for a blast round the field. I don't mind if it was planned (and will often plan a slower ride specifically so the more nervous or novice can join in ) to be like that but not if they've invited themselves along. However I would have said to you that we were going to be going fairly fast and that maybe it wouldn't have been suitable.

 

[AmyMay]

You joined them on 'thier' jolly, which in my mind means you go with the flow.

They didn't really do anything terribly wrong did they? They were just enjoying themselves on a ride that they had planned. Why on earth you just didn't let your horse canter on the first track is beyond me.

Sorry I think you're making a fuss over nothing.

 

[Shysmum]

At my last yard, I was actually told by YO that as Shy wasn't fast enough to go out with the "big horses" we shouldn't do it again.

Their loss

 

[blueheron]

I think the key to understanding this situation, is finding out the ages of everyone involved, which includes the OP.

You joined them on 'thier' jolly, which in my mind means you go with the flow.

They didn't really do anything terribly wrong did they? They were just enjoying themselves on a ride that they had planned. Why on earth you just didn't let your horse canter on the first track is beyond me.

Sorry I think you're making a fuss over nothing.

Do you think cantering across private garden land is ok?

 

[pip6]

It is not acceptable behavior to endanger you & your horse like this.

However, next time if you ask (remember you approached them), & they seem reluctant to have you there, pick up on the clue. I used to try & avoid a lady at the yard who'd invite herself along then not want to go above trot, dawdle in walk, horse play up etc & basically ruin my ride. When you say you'd rather go alone peole can take it the wrong way & get in a huff. Not saying you did this (& it certainly does not excuse their behavour), but if they have plans, & they don't feel you'll be able to cope they may have found it frustrating to have you along.

 

[PolarSkye]

Whether or not you should have asked to join the ride, these two do sound really irresponsible. To not get consensus before upping a gear is rude and downright dangerous. It is simply good manners to say "fancy a trot/canter/gallop" and then wait for an answer and check that everyone's ready . . . to just go from walk to canter with very little warning, not to mention early in the hack and on a blind bend, is beyond daft . . . so, yes, I do think you are right to feel the way you do and I would avoid hacking with these two like the plague.

As a cautionary tale . . . a friend of mine (competent, confident, sensible rider - capable in all four paces) was out hacking with two fellow liveries. They took off in canter with absolutely no warning, her pony got really excited, shot sideways and completely unbalanced her and she came off. Broke several bones in her hand, not to mention tearing important tendons and ligaments - had to be ambulanced out of the forest. Weeks in a cast, months of painful physio and rehab and her hand is still not 100% - 18 months later.

P

 

[AmyMay]

Blueheron, read what I said again.......

 

[ihatework]

They sound like 2 very rude and inconsiderate riders.

That said, if you are nervous enough to be hopping off to lead at any given prance or bounce, then the onus really is on you to make sure you are going out with suitable hacking companions on a suitable route. I imagine you put them in a difficult situation to say no, so perhaps next time just pre-plan who you hack with or if you ask to join make sure you give them a get out clause.

 

[FfionWinnie]

I personally wouldn't hack out with someone if I couldn't control my mount independently from there's.

What if there had been an accident and a horse bolted. You should be in control of your own horse and able to go elsewhere if they weren't doing what you felt was right.

I am not saying they were right or behaved well.

 

[cindydog]

When we go out for a hack always start off in walk and if going into a trot we ask all in hack is this ok if not we keep walking, anyone who wants a canter on a hack can hang back and the rest of us will go ahead ( all informed ) and a certain distance the rest of ride will canter back up to join group ( slowing into trot before they reach us ).
Mostly our Hacks are planed before we go, Like asking where would you like to hack to?roads / bridle paths, is everyone ok for trot? canter? if one horse is slow behind we all slow for horse to catch up no-one is miles ahead of the team.
Lets face it if you want to do your own thing go out on your own.
My old mare likes to poo in the bushes and stops for this ( its her own thing ) and keeps the road cleaner so not going to try to change that. every one will go at slower pace usually saying " Mollys in the bushes again " Hacks should be fun as you can learn so much from them.