Hacking with others... am i right to be upset?

They sound like 2 very rude and inconsiderate riders.

That said, if you are nervous enough to be hopping off to lead at any given prance or bounce, then the onus really is on you to make sure you are going out with suitable hacking companions on a suitable route. I imagine you put them in a difficult situation to say no, so perhaps next time just pre-plan who you hack with or if you ask to join make sure you give them a get out clause.

Agreed.

OP, I know it's hard when you're frightened but you really do have more chance of controlling your horse on board than from the ground.
 
I think, if they aren't people you always hack with, its better to be tacking up at the same time with your hi vis gear out, loitering and looking a bit lonely, waiting to be asked than to ask if you can go out with people. If people want to invite you to come along then they can without being put on the spot, because its very hard to say "er, no, we don't want you to come". If I ever ask people if I can go out with them I'll always say, "don't worry if you'd rather not have an extra one, but I'm after someone to ride with...."

I don't think they are the hacking companions for you and I don't think that's worth getting upset over, no. Hopefully there are others to ride with who will want to go at a similar pace to you.
 
Agreed.

OP, I know it's hard when you're frightened but you really do have more chance of controlling your horse on board than from the ground.

You haven't met my boy. When he's throwing a wobbly, he's much, much more responsive and respectful if I'm on the ground. I've been carted and been unable to stop him while on top, but he's never, ever pulled away from me while being led - even in just a headcollar.

P
 
I have been in similar situations before and I was very very upset! I wasn't as brave as you and I just went with them but it left me feeling very uncomfortable about the whole thing.

Because of this, I mainly hack alone now because that way I can just decide for myself what I want to do and where, although luckily I have found someone on a yard up the road from me who is equally sensible and we meet up regularly to hack together which is nice.
 
OP you say you regularly hack with one - is she usually ok? If so, no doubt she's showing off to her other friend. I would avoid them from now on and try to befriend some better people on the yard who you see eye to eye with on safety and respecting other people's land!
 
OP do what I do and just go out on your own, company is good sometimes, but some horses do react to others and will take off or play up. If you are on your own then you are the one in control. Or hack out with like minded riders. I'm so glad you and your horse are ok and got back safe, it could easily of ended badly for you.
 
I agree with the others, it wasn't a good idea to join other riders who didn't want you along.

It annoys me when I plan something and someone comes along wanting to do something different.

I'm caring enough not to go galloping off, to teach them a lesson, on purpose. I suspect this is what they did.

The garden bit was unacceptable though.
 
Blueheron, read what I said again.......

I have. You said you don't think they really did anything wrong.

I wasn't talking about cantering in the first instance on the bridleway, I meant the second occasion where they wanted to canter across private garden land, and then they did so, whilst the OP led her horse home.

So because you don't think they did anything wrong, I wanted to know if you think that riding across someone's private garden is an ok thing to do? Because your post certainly suggests it's fine, when it isn't!
 
I had someone do this when I was on a newly backed 4 yr old. They tanked off flat out at the edge of a field. They told my other friend they did it to see if I would stay on. !!!

I was fuming inside but thought no, I am in control of my own horse on a hack, they can bugger off. I waited till they were out of sight and trotted quite calmly to catch them up. Their faces were a picture. Nasty pair of adults they were but I had the last laugh.


OP I can see your point and they should of been more considerate, I would not bother riding with them again.
 
Agreed.

OP, I know it's hard when you're frightened but you really do have more chance of controlling your horse on board than from the ground.

Sorry but I dissagree with this comment.

I always dismount my mare if I get frightened and there is a chance we could put ourselves in danger. The way I see it is Frightened rider + Wound up/spooked Horse = an accident waiting to happen!!

I am a nervy rider, but I am a very confident handler. I can give my girl far more confidence and leadership from the ground then I ever could sitting on her. I don't mean that everytime she spooks, I get off. But if she were to really mis behave I would dismount without a second thought and regain control over the situaution.

It is of course different for others. But OP may be the same as me.
 
I personally don't let anyone hack with me unless I want to, because most people don't like to go at the sort of speed that I do, and to be quite frank I don't see why I should curtail my fun to go for a bimble with someone. That said, cantering off round the corner is unacceptable, I always check everyone is ready, stirrups/girth ok, before I up the pace out of walk, and never just tear off round the corner, as who knows what could be coming the other way? The second time cantering round someones garden would have me apoplectic with rage, as this is how riders get a bad name. If they wanted to go faster than they though you would have been comfortable with, they should have said, especially as one of them is a regular hacking partner. The other comments do sound like jealousy, and I wonder whether they are of a certain age!
 
I am very fussy who I ride with, and I don't like to ride in groups of 3 or more as someone always gets left at the back.

Don't ride with these girls again and be careful about who you choose to hack out with in the future.

This is why I prefer to hack alone - I can pick and choose my own routes/ speed.
 
They probably were peeved about having to slow down a bit, but surely they could have diplomatically said 'of course you can come but we're planning on a fast one, are you up for that?' Giving you an opportunity to get out without being rude at all! I'm sure you wouldn't expect them to slow down for you.

Still even if you had been up for galloping etc they sound pretty irresponsible!
 
They're behaviour was off, yes. But perhaps you'll think twice about inviting yourself along next time! You put them in a bit of an awkward position by asking if you could come. They probably didn't want to offend you by saying no, especially if you're friends with one of them. They may have been reluctant to have you along because they wanted a private chat, or because they knew it wasn't going to be your sort of ride.

I think, if they aren't people you always hack with, its better to be tacking up at the same time with your hi vis gear out, loitering and looking a bit lonely, waiting to be asked than to ask if you can go out with people. If people want to invite you to come along then they can without being put on the spot, because its very hard to say "er, no, we don't want you to come". If I ever ask people if I can go out with them I'll always say, "don't worry if you'd rather not have an extra one, but I'm after someone to ride with...."

Why can't people politely say no though? A bit of forthrightness would make life so much easier. I really don't like all this guessing and hinting. Hints are often overlooked and this can lead to a lot of unnecessary fretting and soul searching.
 
Why can't people politely say no though? A bit of forthrightness would make life so much easier. I really don't like all this guessing and hinting. Hints are often overlooked and this can lead to a lot of unnecessary fretting and soul searching.

I have told someone no before, I did feel guilty but it had to be done.

My hacking partner and I were planning a longish ride, it included lots of roadwork, fields and woods. 1 road is very very busy though (national speed limit) there is a path we can use though so the cars don't get close at all. Obviously to do this hack you have to be riding a Horse you know is good with fast traffic (both mine and hacking partners Horses are fine) another livery asked could she join us. I said no, due to the fact she had only had her Horse for 2 weeks (5YO) and she had never tried him out in traffic before. I didn't do it to be nasty, but as we didn't know what Horse was like I would not have been comfortable taking them out with us (girl is 15). Instead I offered to ride with said girl the next day around the fields.
 
Your right 2 b angry but u need to stay on your horse! If you jump of every time he gets quirky your at danger of giving him bad habits :( the best thing you can do is not hack out with them as you and your horse are much better then that!
 
Why can't people politely say no though? A bit of forthrightness would make life so much easier. I really don't like all this guessing and hinting. Hints are often overlooked and this can lead to a lot of unnecessary fretting and soul searching.

I agree - it would have been far more adult if everyone concerned has just manned up and been honest about what they wanted out of the ride. OP if you are a nervous rider you really should have said up front what you did not want to do and not expected the other two to comply with your ideals - it was after all you that joined them.

As for riding across private land - I have to say that given half a chance I am very partial to a quick gallop "off-piste" .....
 
You haven't met my boy. When he's throwing a wobbly, he's much, much more responsive and respectful if I'm on the ground. I've been carted and been unable to stop him while on top, but he's never, ever pulled away from me while being led - even in just a headcollar.

P

Sorry but I dissagree with this comment.

I always dismount my mare if I get frightened and there is a chance we could put ourselves in danger. The way I see it is Frightened rider + Wound up/spooked Horse = an accident waiting to happen!!

I am a nervy rider, but I am a very confident handler. I can give my girl far more confidence and leadership from the ground then I ever could sitting on her. I don't mean that everytime she spooks, I get off. But if she were to really mis behave I would dismount without a second thought and regain control over the situaution.

It is of course different for others. But OP may be the same as me.

Ok, I'll re-phrase my comment - OP, IME you have more chance of controlling your horse on board than you do from the ground.

I'm by no means the bravest rider in the world but have always found that by staying on & keeping calm I've managed to bring the situation back under control. My boy is an angel most of the time - good to lead & ride but he's 17hh and when he's lost it he's lost it so if I were to dismount there's a much greater risk of him getting away from me...
 
I would say yes, very right to be upset by how inconsiderate they are. But you have learnt two people to avoid for future hacks, so that is a good thing.

If I am going out hacking when others are I enquire where they are going/what planning to do in a conversational way I don't want to invite myself along with people, nor do I want to change my planned hack for them/or have them feel they have to for me. The best hacks are ones where me and my horse get some chill time together.

As for riding off without checking with everyone - it sounds like an immature way to assert that it is 'their' ride and as for riding over private land - that's bloody stupid for anyone. They will soon wake up if they go over private land during shooting season or during golf practice (as I have heard of this happening). As they are novices maybe they need to be reminded by YO that the yard's reputation gets tarnished by this and if they complain it will be about yard as a whole. Thats if they have a moment to consider others and lbh, they don't sound like they have.
 
I would see this as a positive thing, even though it may have upset you at the time. You now know that your horse will stay with you, even though you got off, if he really wanted to bolt off he could of done quite easily x Be proud of your neddy. Also, you have learnt to not associate with these inconsiderate muppets x

However, if you do need to hack out and they are the only ones (i dont know your yard situation), maybe have a 'friendly' word with the one you usually ride out with but then carry on just with her, assuming shes considerate on her own.
 
Re the getting off/staying on dilemna.... the OP knows her horse and did what made her feel safer. Horses are all different. My 20 yo been there/done that/got the t-shirt and read the book horse can be a total nobber when he spooks, and is likely to spin and tank off at times. I can "read" him, and know if it's going to a slight sidestep shy or a full on tantrum, and the safest thing to do is get off and lead him if he's heading for a tantrum, as if I put any pressure on him he will go into meltdown. He's happy to follow me past anything and when I find something to use as a mounting block I hop back on and we have both stayed relaxed and not been a danger to ourselves or anyone else. If I feel a mild spook then I just get a bit "agricultural" with him and push him past the monster!
My 5yo, on the other hand, is new to this hacking lark, and will spook at new scary things, but as he doesn't over react like the older horse just needs pushing forward and life is fine again.
OP I hope this hasn't knocked your confidence and you get to find some nice hacking partners!
 
Blimey what an overwhelming response!!! Thank u for everyones support.

I probably should put intially that the other riders have much older (think mid 20s), unfit horses which are not owned by the riders. In one belongs to YM and is strictly in v light work!

They are actually more novice than me too!

Have had a riding lesson today and my horse was foot perfect :). Think i will be choosing my hacking partners more wisely in future!:cool:
 
I probably should put intially that the other riders have much older (think mid 20s), unfit horses which are not owned by the riders. In one belongs to YM and is strictly in v light work!

They want a good hiding then and I definitely think you should be telling your YM :mad:

Good news about the lesson :)
 
I think the main problem is lack of communication - by all means ask if you can go but they should state what they intend doing and you should say whether it suits !

I recently went out with a friend who I hadnt ridden with b4 and we both like a "blast" but you can never tell what someone means by even that statement - off into first canter I constantly checked behind me to make sure she was ok etc and pulled up after a while and she said "you can carry on" so off we went - we both ended up galloping up a hill side by side and had a wonderful time but you need to be clear in your intentions. I also sometimes ride with a very nervous rider and quite often trot so she can canter behind in safety and if she ask me to pull up i do - I think in this case it was lack of communication - have a chat with them about it and explain that speed/type of hack isnt for you but you would love to go with them on any slower rides they are doing - no point falling out about it - lifes too short.

Just seen post saying they are not owned by the riders and one is in light work !! depends on definition of "light work" but a good warmup before a short canter would probably be my definition - not a blast from walk ! poor horse !
 
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Blimey what an overwhelming response!!! Thank u for everyones support.

I probably should put intially that the other riders have much older (think mid 20s), unfit horses which are not owned by the riders. In one belongs to YM and is strictly in v light work!

They are actually more novice than me too!

Have had a riding lesson today and my horse was foot perfect :). Think i will be choosing my hacking partners more wisely in future!:cool:

i would be letting YM know what happened, i would be thoroughly peed off if someone who i trusted to ride my horse was acting in such an irresponsible way.
As for the riding on private land, totally stupid! My OH has permission to shoot on the farm where i livery, his biggest headache is people straying off the footpaths into fields they shouldn't be in and appearing in his sights just as he's about to fire a shot:rolleyes: funnily enough they soon lose their attitude of 'not doing any harm' when they see the gun;)
 
I would be upset, they sound like horrible girls!
I just wouldn't go out with them again and not get involved with them.
People can be so mean sometimes can't they :(.
 
i would be letting YM know what happened, i would be thoroughly peed off if someone who i trusted to ride my horse was acting in such an irresponsible way.
As for the riding on private land, totally stupid! My OH has permission to shoot on the farm where i livery, his biggest headache is people straying off the footpaths into fields they shouldn't be in and appearing in his sights just as he's about to fire a shot:rolleyes: funnily enough they soon lose their attitude of 'not doing any harm' when they see the gun;)

Yep, we have alot of this in our area! Plus a lot of set aside land! YM is aware, not from me, but her daughter witnessed it as she happened to be driving down the road and saw it!! She was just as annoyed as me!
 
They are pig ignorant from all aspects, no warm up for the animals, no consideration for you, no consideration for others property, I should stay away from them, bloody idiots.

Let me guess, no Hi Viz when riding on the road either.

NOA
 
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