Had a bit of an arguement- am gutted days later!

I don't know if this will help at all but I had terrible problems with my mare, Gwenno. She was backed at three (I sent her to a professional who I trusted). She came home to me where I tried to bring her on. For two years she got progressively worse until I had totally lost my confidence. I had no steering and no brakes. She would come home with her mouth bleeding because she pulled so much. I was terrified of her. When she bolted with me and nearly ran into a tractor I gave up and turned her into a field where she got laminitis. After two months box rest and the laminitis cleared up I decided it was best to try to sell her. I contacted the lady who had 'backed' her, who told me that she knew that my mare would never make a riding pony and the best thing I could do would be to put her in foal to some cheap stallion, chuck her on a transporter and sell her at an auction in South Wales. This upset me so much I decided to give her one last chance. I found a yard that dealt with problem horses and they took her in for re-backing. I figured they would be able to sort her enough- either for me to ride her again, or for me to be able to sell her on (maybe even through their yard if necessary). This yard was 2 hrs away from home so it was especially ideal as it gave me a chance to get some distance from her! Turns out that the 'professional' I had trusted with my mare hadn't bothered mouthing her. The new people took her back to basics and within three months (including time off for an abcess) she was home and a different pony.
Gwenno is 9 now and has made a fantastic hacking pony. I am so glad I didn't sell her. She will never be easy (but then she is a Welsh Cob!) but I think that she is happy and content with her lot now.

Maybe sending him away somewhere for retraining might be good for you both. It would give you some breathing space. If he comes back and you still don't get on... it won't have been a waste of money because it will make him easier to sell.
 
He is 9 years old I bought him as a 6yr old direct from his trainer.
He has his teeth, back, saddle everything checked regularly so there are no excuses or maybe's!
He gets fed ad-lib hay and half a scoop of Spillers Happy Hooves twice a day (more of the same in winter)
Usually he has a routine recently its been a bit screwy but when he's healthy he gets fed and go's out and in at the same time of day.
I have just got back from him having a massage and his back etc checked over now!

I dont think he's really dangerous just difficult!
He has improved so much in so many ways - At first he had to be sedated for the farrier and dentist, he wouldnt load, clip (even sedated)or be caught. I couldnt hold him say to hand graze or something.
With lots of work and patience he is almost well behaved for both farrier and dentist (unsedated). Comes to call, I can leave him stood on a lorry untied and walk off the ramp myself (not actually travelled him as not my lorry!) and this winter i clipped him and his head alone with no sed's
This makes me think we have overcome so much that maybe.....????

Before the injury i was happy enough with the way he was doing, I think i'm having a wobble because of what everyone is saying and that its tbh i am bricking myself at the thought of getting back on after so long! a combination of the 2 things is making me question the whole thing again.

I will see how he re-acts when i finally get to ride him again and in the meantime try and get a life!!!

Thank you all very very much!
 
HorseyLad said:
You have to remember that there really is no such thing as a "bad horse", there is usually some underlying problem that is causing bad behavoiur. Usually it's one of three things 1) Pain or 2) A Bad Past. 3) A confused horse - or a combination of all 3!!

Firstly you need to eliminate the pain issue, obviously he is on box rest, but treat him to a nice sports physio massage. Get all those notty muscles released and relaxed. Can you poss afford a massage pad? Everyone swears by them. Get his teeth checked. Then make sure his bit and saddle fit properly. And also look carefully at his feet, are they well balanced etc.

Once you are happy that he isn't in pain you need to look at his environment, is he happy, does he have a good routine. Even the smallest change can make a difference, ensure he has plenty of turnout once he's able to go out again. Look at his diet, what are you feeding and why? Horses should eat a fibre only diet unless they are 3 day eventing and need the extra energy - check ur feed bags, ensure they are as sugar & starch free as poss. Some horses react very badly on starchy diets. Also look into things such as metabolic syndrome and EPSM.

Then how much do you know about his background? Has something happened that has made him this monster? Are you honest about your own abilities? Are you really able to bring him on? Would it be worth sending him to a professional to bring on? Contact someone like Michael Peace, who is an expert with this type of horse and behaviour.

I hope you dont mind me pointing out all the obvious but sometimes the tiniest change can affect a sensitive horse - one of mine has to have his routing very structured or he throws his toys out of the pram!

Good luck.
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Could not agree more!
 
Getting Micheal Peace to work with him would be like a dream come true! He's only based about 10 miles away from me but I really dont have the money sadly.

Physically i can do it, Its more maybe a confidence issue i have when the going gets tough!
I am lucky in that i've never actually lost my confidence with him and am able to block out the day before if that makes sense? so if we have a really bad day I'm not bothered by getting back on the following morning.

I might look at Michaels site again it was ages ago i contacted him but am sure its VERY pricey!
 
McNally said:
This has kind of made me want to go one of either way....
I either give up, try and sell him and buy something i can safely ride alone, jump to a bit of competing on and let everyone say "told you so" but at least i would enjoy riding again??
Or... I prove them wrong and force myself to make him do the stuff we have issues with (and do it secretly) so if it backfires on me no-one will know! but one day just show off what he's learned? I am going to have to really push myself to do this and wont enjoy it but it could be worth it in the end?
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These are very poor reasons to take either route. They are also unfair to you and unfair to the horse.

Never make decisions based on what someone else thinks, or the feeling you have to prove something to someone else. Especially decisions that involve another living creature. This is HIS life, too, after all.

If you seriously like this horse and believe he can come around, and if you WANT to do the work to make that happen, keep him. But don't do it "in secret" and don't worry about what anyone else says about it. Do it because you want to.

If you seriously aren't happy working with him, if you don't feel you want to invest the time and effort, if you don't feel he's going to be what you need, get rid of him. It's not fair to him to keep him in a situation that puts stress on you - after all, that puts stress on him. He may be just what someone else wants.

Point is, make a decision based on what you want and what will best benefit the horse. Sometimes that is putting them to sleep, hard as that is. But don't let other people's opinions make up your mind for you. Remember that it's easy to have an opinion when it's not your horse.
 
its your boss , but in general i think people are free to have and make an opinion its up to you to listen take advice/ignore it .I think your attached to your horse if you can manage him fine , if soso, loan him out a college or something the horse you described some people love horses like that , i know someone who has just getten one on p.loan like that and they are getting on so well
 
I think the thing to remember is we keep horses, and ride, for FUN. It's supposed to be enjoyable- goodness knows it's expensive and time consuming enough! If you find you're not enjoying your horse, I would seriously think about selling/loaning him etc...
 
I used to have a very difficult CB/TB mare, you constantly had to fool her into doing what you wanted and if you let your guard down a bit she would find a new evaision.
Fortuately she was healthy and cheap to keep and I thought eventually we would get there.
We then moved house and my hacking routes changed and she learned that if she went sideways towards (very fast) people on foot basically I was powerless. This happened with no warning so it was not something you could block and she had done this before and rammed me up against a hedge. I came home and had a good think.
What did I want to achieve, how much time did I have, what facilities did I have and did I have enough money for expert help and more importantely was any one going to be injured.
I sold her.Do not regret it, bought a nice pony who wanted to work.
Your boss has done you a favour, he has forced you to think hard about the situation. I took my children to pony club for many years and watched children struggling with unsuitable ponies. For every difficult horse/pony you suceed with there are a whole lot that you don't and sometime you just have to cut your losses.
There are loads of livery yards full on horses their owners can not ride, I am quite fed up of the back,teeth,saddle excuss. I have 8 and I expect them all to behave (and they do) without a back man every month,specail bits and 'calmers', the majority are just plain naughty.
Good luck, but remeber there are an aweful lot of nice horses going to be PTS just because they can not be kept in training
 
Tbh I think your boss was out of order. There's some stuff I can't do with Dylan (because he can be a total idiot when he gets excited), but I've had him 7 years and couldn't sell him because I adore him. And I'm happy with that, I enjoy the stuff I can do with him. If you're happy with yours, then keep him, he's your horse and it's your decision.

BUT, if being limited in what you can do is making you unhappy, and you are just keeping at it to prove something to people, then you should maybe consider selling.

Just my opinion x
 
I cant tell you how many times I said I was putting my horse up for sale, was told to by everyone he wasn't what I wanted couldn't do what I wanted with him etc. Was told he should just go to womeone who didn't want to ride him or do anything with him apart from groom him.
It's taken 5 years to get where I am and I am so happy I didn't sell him, I look back now and see what a ***** he was and look at him now he is a changed horse. He is still far from perfect, but he is so much better and I am able to actually work with him now.
I think you should ignore everyone get in a good trainer (and not someone to take your money and critique you). I turned him away for 2 months pulled his shoes and just let him be a horse. Got help for about a year and changed his feed and built up a relationship with him.
If you still have him there is obviously something telling you not to sell him. Proove 'em all wrong the lot of 'em! How dare they be so snide!
 
You've given him two and a half years of your life and it's smiliar to a failing long term love affair, it's so hard to give up after investng so much.

I was advised so many times to sell and give up on my mare, in fact I wanted to too so many times. She is super sensitive and needed a solid leader to give her confidence when she became worried or scared. Once I found this out though, she became much easier to handle and now she is fantastic!.... Well fantasic to me anyway.;)

She has taught me so much and I adore her, no matter what other people may say or think.

It is true though that you should be enjoying your horse and your riding, sadly though if the magic ain't there, then perhaps it's time you parted your ways?
Someone out there would love to have the challenge of your tricky horse as they can take the mundane and make it into an adventure:D

And I for one, love them!

I wish you luck with your decision.
 
I agree with Niagaraduval. Nearly gave up on my mare (stressed, tanked off with me, loathed schooling, became mannerless when over-excited). I'm an old, experienced rider but my confidence went out of the out of the window. But with kind support from a friend, she's a different horse . Don't school her except as part of a hack, happy hack her with friends for hours, her confdience and mine in each have grown and grown, and I wouldn't be without her for the world. And no thanks to the (several) people who said "get rid of her - she's rubbish".

Also, with an ex-broken leg, which you would have to reveal, I think your boy? future might be very uncertain. If you really have to part with him, PTS might be the safe option - for him.

Finally, don't be over-awed by your trainer boss. They're not infallible. A local one told my father when I was a child to get rid of my new pony (first day out hunting and rearing badly). Went on to be the best hunter I ever had and I rode him until my marriage. Very best of luck with your decisions.
 
baymareb said:
Never make decisions based on what someone else thinks, or the feeling you have to prove something to someone else. Especially decisions that involve another living creature. This is HIS life, too, after all.

If you seriously like this horse and believe he can come around, and if you WANT to do the work to make that happen, keep him. But don't do it "in secret" and don't worry about what anyone else says about it. Do it because you want to.

If you seriously aren't happy working with him, if you don't feel you want to invest the time and effort, if you don't feel he's going to be what you need, get rid of him. It's not fair to him to keep him in a situation that puts stress on you - after all, that puts stress on him. He may be just what someone else wants.

Point is, make a decision based on what you want and what will best benefit the horse. Sometimes that is putting them to sleep, hard as that is. But don't let other people's opinions make up your mind for you. Remember that it's easy to have an opinion when it's not your horse.
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100% agree. Base your decision on you YOU want and what the horse needs. Not what other people think or might think, nor on other peoples experiences - they are their own person with a different horse and success or regret stories that apply to you.

Sit down and decide what you want from a horse, and if your boy can give you that. And will you be happy (and safe) if not? And will he be happy and safe? That should be your only basis for a decision.
 
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