Had a revelation that I'm a baddd rider

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Pink Gorilla

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Has anyone ever been in a warm up at a competition and suddenly felt massive imposter syndrome and gone home knowing you were the worst rider there? I have recently and it's not nice. Now I'm feeling shite every time I ride. I need to snap out of this *I am shit' funk, my other alternative is to swap diciplines, but I love dressage....Anyway, has anyone else ever felt like that at a show?
 
If you didn’t think you were shit at times then you would be floating along in oblivion and not making any progress.

I don’t think I ever get imposter syndrome as my money is the same as anyone else’s and entries are not being handed out in a golden envelope to special people only. Sure you have days where you feel rubbish about yourself but I just think that’s normal.

Only you allow yourself to feel this way though. Nobody else. Nobody else is probably even paying attention to you. Far too busy thinking about themselves.

Loads of reasons why you will be doing this:
Evolutionary survival - negative bias helps survival
Social conditioning - quite a long one which therapy helps.
Fear of failure - well we all fail so it’s embracing it more.
Perfectionism - comes back to
Embracing failure I guess.

I guess ultimately you can allow yourself to carry on telling yourself you are shit and give up something you enjoy or just embrace it and use it as fuel to get better and reframe your mindset with seeing it as a challenge to improve x,y,z from last time. That’s the joy of horses, you could have an Olympic gold last week and be lying on the floor bucked off a 4yo this week.
 
I have felt like that a lot of times :) I have a proven record with more than one horse and at a good level, and I still feel like that sometimes.

Mine is not so much that I don’t belong in the warm up/am the weakest link there (though I did have a spiral at the nationals when the person before me ‘blah blah blah has competed internationally at XYZ’ and I suddenly thought what on EARTH am I doing here!), mine is more ‘why can’t I get this right today, why is this not going to plan, does this look as awful as it feels, oh gosh I should really just retire’.

You probably need to have a bit of a break, do some confidence building training and have a bit of fun.

If it makes you feel any better I did try and have some fun the other week and went jumping. And got thrown through the wing of the second half of a double for my troubles.
 
Of course! Had imposter syndrome often in warm ups, not until I got to a high level, and a couple of times at Nationals, but yes. Thing is, you just have to block it out and focus on what you are actually doing, and afterwards be objective about what needs improving.

I think the trick is to be objective, but not personal eg dont think "I'm awful, I cant ride etc", but think I'd like to improve my leg position, so what exercises can I do on or off the horse to make my leg position better.

Everyone on the planet from Olympians downwards have days when they feel they cant ride, accept that those days happen to everyone and tomorrow will be fine, on the rubbish days just go for a hack and forget about it.
 
it might be worth a session with a sports psychologist. I bought a little ex racehorse to show locally and second year we were suddenly competing at HOYS and RIHS qualifiers against the amazingly glamorous established top riders. I’d talk myself out of riding well particularly as my horse took a while to warm up whereas others seem to come out of the lorry and look fabulous straight off. One session with a sports psych really helped. Will add more later as have to go
 
To finish my post the sports psych said to me look at what you’ve achieved perhaps the others are thinking gosh that horse is here and he’s won x y and z. Everyone has doubts you just don’t know it. Perhaps go and have some fun at clinics and get your mojo back.
 
I don't remember feeling like that in a warm up. To be honest, I'm more concentrated on my test or my round and getting my horse ready. I only pay attention to other riders to avoid collisions or killing anyone.
I have however noticed that the "I can't ride" or "pony would be better off without me" thoughts are a sign of my pmdd which is mostly under control but can flare up unexpectedly. It was very helpful to me to recognise where these thoughts were coming from as I now know they're not really mine but a product of my messed up hormones.
 
Yes! I have times where I feel like I'm punching well above my weight and what on earth am I doing, especially when it's in my non main discipline. Sometimes I've been lucky to be pulled through by having gone and competed and done well/ been competitive and so know that I'm not out of place, it was just in my head, other times I've looked at what it is that I need to improve and put plans in place.

Also... sometimes there's something to be said for getting the gear so that you can fit in and make you feel a bit smarter and better about yourself and know you look the part.
 
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