had my jumping bubble burst.... Sorry for the whinge

Ben2684

Ben2684

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As title really, have been having jumping lessons for 9 months now on my horse that I've had for just under a year, this was after being terrified of jumping following a serious accident 6 years ago which resulted in me being air lifted and a two week stay in hospital. My confidence has come on in leaps and bounds in the last few months and although S gets excited and bouncy I'm loving it. My RI has been really good, lots of grid work and focussing on the rhythm etc rather than the height, today we jumped a course of 9 jumps, all around 2ft 3/6 in a nice rhythm, smoothly and and with only a couple of small mistakes (which were down to me not quite seeing the stride) but felt really nice the whole way round. I have had a few negative comments that the jumps weren't very big and not very taxing, and that I should be going higher. I just feel a bit flat. RI says balance and rhythm are far more imporatant than height, that I could easily jump much bigger but that the real challenge is keeping it flowing over a whole course, which I completely get but just wish others, just because they can do it, doesn't mean I can and need to work to get there. Sorry pointless post really, just burst my bubble a bit as I had such a fab lesson!! Im aiming for my first ever show (local 2ft 3 class) this year and although it terrifies me I'm sure I'll enjoy it, but these kind of comments have me worrying I'll be a laughing stock-a 30 year old guy on a 16.3 ISH *only* going that high :-(
 
Whoever is making the negative comments!? IGNORE them! The first part of your post was so positive and happy- that's how this hobby of ours is meant to make us feel. I enjoy jumping far more than I used to but we only stick to smaller heights, even though horsey can do much more but I too have had a couple of bad falls and it takes a lot longer to get your confidence back than to loose it! Your RI sounds fab; getting the canter, your position, the control, the lines and bits in between the jumps are the important bits - most people can 'point and shoot' a horse at jumps but doing a good, smooth round takes much more skill.
 
First youre not riding for their pleasure, youre riding for yours.
Get on, get riding, and enjoy meeting your goals youve set, not theirs.
youre dealing with one of the most annoying aspects thats around in the horse world, the know all who knows fudge all !
When they give you their opinion, just look puzzled, smile and say, " thanks mate but , you do know jumping's not all about height, the main skills are in the turns, lines, speed and balance, thats what we're working on at the moment ........ I thought you knew that", * smile * " i suppose thats why its better to train with a professional RI, its a common misake though and many riders make it, which is why some folks rounds look so half ar$ed poor" * smile *
The next bit you need to take responsibility for, they can only make you feel inadequate if you let them, its that simple, dont let them.
Theres nothing will sink you faster than letting folks like that get under your skin, go out and enjoy your show, set your own goals for the day and enjoy the ride.
Good luck
 
if you buy 101 exercises for jumping, there are loads of exercises which will allow you to do everything anyone will find on a full size course, there is no need to jump high, jump clever is the idea, your instructor is correct.
 
As others have said just enjoy your riding ��. I am 39 years old and am quite happy doing a 1ft clear round at a local show on my 14.3 traditional cob.
 
Typical...there is always someone who can do it better, bigger, higher, there will always be someone who has jumped "over the moon" *rolls eyes* but just ignore them and crack on enjoying what your doing.
When they talk just nod, smile and think about something else until they have finished spouting garbage and walk away saying "that's nice" or "good for you"
You carry on in your own little bubble, the air is sweeter in there!
 
Thanks all. I know it's silly and I'm annoyed that I let it get to me. I shall endeavour to put them out of my head and carry on having fun ��
 
just ignore them and carry on with what you're doing. Your RI will tell you when it's time for the fences to go up.

I know how you feel - someone on my yard recently said I was a nightmare because I wouldn't move up a class even though I was more than capable. yes, I could probably wing my way around a bigger class but it wouldn't look pretty and I don't see the point in risking what little confidence I've managed to gain back in the last year just to be able to say I'm jumping big.

Just do what I did - be glad that they've never had a confidence-ruining fall and ignore, ignore, ignore.
 
34 and still enjoying "cross pole clear round". It doesn't frighten me which makes for a happy horse and human. If in the process an adult on a 17.3 doing a "shetland pony clear round" gives someone a giggle then great, I enjoy making people happy along with myself and my horse!

Keep doing what you're doing, there's nothing worse than ruining yours and the horses confidence living up to others expectations :)
 
You sound great! When I first read you thread it actually made me sad - and I am on no way an emotional person!

I'm sure you'll ace your 2ft 3 rounds and who knows, maybe this time next year you'll be jumping top of the wings, that would shut 'em all up!
 
Just ignore them. Your instructor is absolutely spot on, getting the canter and the flow, and more importantly your confidence right is the most important thing. It's meant to be fun, so listen to your instructor and not the numpties on the side lines.

Progress at your pace. Good luck and let us know how you get on
 
Tern said:
I'm sure you'll ace your 2ft 3 rounds and who knows, maybe this time next year you'll be jumping top of the wings, that would shut 'em all up!
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Ha! Not so sure but we're nearly ready (or as ready as you can be) I guess the main thing is I'm willing to give it a go... We will see what happens!!?

Thanks for the positivity, really helps!! :-)
 
Well I think you are awesome for having the guts to jump again after such an awful accident!!! Who cares what height you are jumping so long as you are enjoying it. Wishing you lots of luck at your first show, hope you have a fab time.
 
Getting round at a show isn't even my main aim, I just want to have fun and be good enough to see some jumps whilst out hacking and have the confidence to think ' right I'll just pop over those' which I have been doing. Unfortunately it seems I have the bug, lessons just keep getting better and better and I'm enjoying the jumping side of things a lot . Going to go up to the local stables and use their jumping field with full set of jumps for a lesson soon (I have problems remembering the course!!) so onwards and upwards. Thanks for all the well wishes guys, it does make a difference! :-)
 
Marydoll said:
First youre not riding for their pleasure, youre riding for yours.
Get on, get riding, and enjoy meeting your goals youve set, not theirs.
youre dealing with one of the most annoying aspects thats around in the horse world, the know all who knows fudge all !
When they give you their opinion, just look puzzled, smile and say, " thanks mate but , you do know jumping's not all about height, the main skills are in the turns, lines, speed and balance, thats what we're working on at the moment ........ I thought you knew that", * smile * " i suppose thats why its better to train with a professional RI, its a common misake though and many riders make it, which is why some folks rounds look so half ar$ed poor" * smile *
The next bit you need to take responsibility for, they can only make you feel inadequate if you let them, its that simple, dont let them.
Theres nothing will sink you faster than letting folks like that get under your skin, go out and enjoy your show, set your own goals for the day and enjoy the ride.
Good luck
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^^^this with bells on!

Well done for
a) having the guts to get back on and do it
b) spending the time to do it properly

When you do move up the heights, it will be so much better for having spent time on these skills, which far too many people forget.

I am much older than you with a 16.3 Tb, and we are still working on rhythm and flow around 80cm!
 
I had a 16.3 ISH and we did 1'6 classes as they were the only ones I enjoyed after having children and never having enough time to regain core stability or confidence. Sometimes we were the only ones not on lead rein. Some other class competitors may have laughed but tbh most of the mums leading the ponies were really encouraging and lovely especially when I fell off !!! I am 40 btw. Occasionally I would try the heady heights of 2' or 2'3. Likewise I did intro dressage with occasional prelim. We were no threat to anyone and had a bit of fun. You sound like you are doing amazingly well and are learning skills most people don't even understand let alone possess. I am in awe of you. Enjoy your skill, I love that feeling of a smooth comfortable round and aspire to it.
 
Ben, congratulations on jumping again at all. Most people wouldn't!

Fear is a set of chemicals sloshing about in your brain. Those chemicals activate for you, because of your accident, at 70cm.

For other people, those chemicals either aren't there at all (and the flip side to that is that those people get very depressed if they don't find a risk to take that excites them!) or they activate at 90cm, or 1m50, or wherever.

There is NOTHING braver about jumping higher heights. It's only brave to have things that scare you and do them anyway.

You are every bit as brave as those numpties telling you that you 'should' be jumping higher.

Well done.
 
What other people think of you is none of your business. If they make it your business, remove yourself from the situation and ignore them. So much of our unhappiness and insecurity comes from listening and comparing ourselves to others. To put it simply, don't! Focus on what makes YOU feel happy and good. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.
 
There's always some numpty who thinks we 'should be' doing this, that & the other! In reality, I find that it's usually these people who have an endless supply of excuses for their own shortcomings - the "I would do, if only" brigade!
Ignore their comments, if they can't appreciate what you've achieved just by having a go again after a bad accident then they're not worth a second thought.
Personally, I would appreciate watching a well ridden, smooth, accurate round where horse & rider are working together round a clear round than watching someone push, pull, flap & kick their way round a bigger class! If these people can't see that then they're no rider themselves...
Keep doing what you're doing, it's meant to be fun! It's good to challenge yourself but not in a way that leaves you scared stupid!! It sounds like you're doing all the right things, enjoy! :)
 
Do your own thing and be proud.

My greatest jumping achievement has been doing a 75cm course - it was at a competition centre, full of oxers and fillers and was blooming scary for me. . For me as an oldie coming back to riding after a loooong gap and a fear of jumping that was completely terrifying and a major thing. The fact is that my 10 year old daughter on her 12.2 would have made a better job of it but that is immaterial.

Other people's opinions are like belly buttons. What counts is what you and your horse enjoy :)
 
Well done to you.

I understand what it's like to have a huge loss of confidence and how quickly it happens and how long it takes to get it back. DON'T let other people's idiotic comments upset you. Part of the reason I lost my confidence was because I DID let other people push me out of my comfort zone and go affiliated instead of remaining unaffiliated and enjoying it. Do the heights YOU feel happy with and kudos to your instructor for having such a sensible approach. An unhappy nervous rider over jumps can easily make the horse lose confidence too.

I echo what everyone else has said. What counts is you and your horse being happy and having fun together :)
 
I'll let you in to a secret. Tomorrow I am doing a fun ride on my batty welsh cob. Yes, I am doing the 4km kiddies route. Do I care? No, I do not! 18 mths ago my confidence was through the floor and even sitting on a totally steady traditional cob filled me with fear. Tomorrow will be a major victory for me and I will finish with a huge grin on my face.

Don't let the *******s grind you down. You've made your way back from a really nasty accident and the fact that you are jumping at all is testament to your determination and the wisdom of your instructor who sounds ace.

Keep having fun your way! :)
 
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Firstly well done in being brave enough after your accident to start jumping again. I never used to jump huge usually about 88 to 1m and if it was a course smaller.
Recently I've lost confidence so I'm sticking to around 2'3 though smaller at the moment as he's just started jumping again after an injury. I actually found while he was off I didn't miss jumping but then I'd been pushing myself to try and jump more than I felt confident with I also had the same problem as many who have commented on your thread that felt they had to try and jump bigger due to what other people thought fortunately those people have now left. We have horses for fun and you're already doing well by jumping again and 2'3" isn't tiny
I read this very interesting article the other day:

http://www.horsecollaborative.com/developing-the-riders-eye-and-overcoming-fear-of-fence-height/
 
I took my green horse to a 'nervous/novice' SJ day. The first class was tiny cross poles and had lead rein children in it. I'm 35 and the horse is 16'3". I've competed at higher levels in the past. I give zero stuffs what anyone else thinks! I went HC because the point of the outing was building confidence for the horse who had never been anywhere before. Do what is right for you and the horse, ignore everyone else.
 
It's been bought home to me recently that in any environment, be it at the yard or workplace, there will always been somebody trying to burst your bubble, try not to let them, the main thing is that you are happy with what you've achieved, and for all of you posting on this thread, it sounds like you should be!
 
Well done! I think you are inspiring. Ignore them and have fun. I know it is hard to keep those comments out of your mind, but just focus on yourself and your horse.

If this makes you feel any better, I used to be someone that thought height of the jumps was the only important thing. I had a goal height and skippd several important steps to get there. Needless to say I had some shocking rounds at these heights we weren't prepared for. Now that was embarassing! We would have attracted far fewer looks and sniggers (luckily I never actually heard what the spectators were saying!) had we stuck to lower levels and got everything in place first.

Good luck and have fun!
 
Asha said:
Just ignore them. Your instructor is absolutely spot on, getting the canter and the flow, and more importantly your confidence right is the most important thing. It's meant to be fun, so listen to your instructor and not the numpties on the side lines.

Progress at your pace. Good luck and let us know how you get on
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This in spades. A good, well balanced, flowing round is so much more important than height - think of it as riding "smart" - and will lay a fantastic foundation for the future for whatever you want to go on to achieve.

Anyway, you are a bloke - you should know that size is not important, it's the overall performance!!! ;)
 
Don't let peoples comments about height get you down!
My Ned could do a 3ft course and had cleared 1.15 with ease, but I would rather do a clean, flowing and well ridden 2ft 3/6 course that push myself to go higher and do badly.
Don't rush yourself or your horse, it IS your horse after all and if they want to see someone jump higher, they can do it themselves!!
 
It sounds like you and your RI are doing a super job because you are clearly making your current jumping look that relaxed and controlled that people believe you are capable of more, personally I'd take it as a compliment. :)

Just keep doing what you are doing, yes you might be making a few people envious but that's hardly your fault is it?!

Happy riding! :)
 
Ben2684 said:
Getting round at a show isn't even my main aim, I just want to have fun and be good enough to see some jumps whilst out hacking and have the confidence to think ' right I'll just pop over those' which I have been doing. Unfortunately it seems I have the bug, lessons just keep getting better and better and I'm enjoying the jumping side of things a lot . Going to go up to the local stables and use their jumping field with full set of jumps for a lesson soon (I have problems remembering the course!!) so onwards and upwards. Thanks for all the well wishes guys, it does make a difference! :-)
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And THIS is exactly what riding should be about - having fun and enjoying your time with your horse. Having a terrible accident and coming back from it, even if you're not doing the same things you were before, is the bravest thing any rider can do. Sod the haters/know-it-alls and enjoy your horse and your lessons - it sounds as if you have found an excellent instructor to work with which will help you and your confidence no end in the long run.
 
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