Hanging up your boots

[Hugobear]

Hi, the passion & fire for riding is not in my belly anymore. Has anyone else experienced this feeling and unsure what to do? I love my boy, he’s really great. But, I’m on full livery & find it doesn’t take much not to go up. I’ve lost my confidence so don’t ride much either!
Thank you

 

[MuddyMonster]

Have you lost all enjoyment for horses or just doing stuff with *your* horse?

Theres no shame in buying a different horse you are more confident with if you want to enjoy riding co evidently again.

There's also no shame in just wanting to enjoy your horse un-ridden if that's what you want to do. You could go for walks together, learn groundwork and liberty, clicker training, on-hand Trec or Horse Agility ... there's so much to do without riding!

Equally, if your hearts not in it then your heart's not in it and there's no shame in hanging up your boots for a bit. Theres a whole exciting horse less world out there

It doesn't need to be all or nothing if you do step back from horse ownership - you could still include horses if you want with the occasional booked hack or weekly lesson or volunteering with a RDA or local horse charity.

Would looking at changing livery help? Perhaps being on Assisted DIY - you may find you start to just do more with him if you're there anyway. You wouldn't be the first person I know to struggle to stay motivated on full livery - I experienced it a bit, myself and some of my friends definitely found it was a thing!

It can feel over whelming but if you're not struggling to finance it in the mean time, I'd say take your time and figure out what you want and take it from there.

 

[Hugobear]

Have you lost all enjoyment for horses or just doing stuff with *your* horse?

Theres no shame in buying a different horse you are more confident with if you want to enjoy riding co evidently again.

There's also no shame in just wanting to enjoy your horse un-ridden if that's what you want to do. You could go for walks together, learn groundwork and liberty, clicker training, on-hand Trec or Horse Agility ... there's so much to do without riding!

Equally, if your hearts not in it then your heart's not in it and there's no shame in hanging up your boots for a bit. Theres a whole exciting horse less world out there

It doesn't need to be all or nothing if you do step back from horse ownership - you could still include horses if you want with the occasional booked hack or weekly lesson or volunteering with a RDA or local horse charity.

Would looking at changing livery help? Perhaps being on Assisted DIY - you may find you start to just do more with him if you're there anyway. You wouldn't be the first person I know to struggle to stay motivated on full livery - I experienced it a bit, myself and some of my friends definitely found it was a thing!

It can feel over whelming but if you're not struggling to finance it in the mean time, I'd say take your time and figure out what you want and take it from there.

 

[Hugobear]

Thank you so much for your kind words, a lot of sensible points made x

 

[Cutgrass]

I experienced this with my last share. He lost his other sharer, but as soon as I could ride every day I found that it was all too easy not to. It felt like a chore for the first time in my life.

Perhaps predictably, now I'm limited to riding a friend's pony once a week and having the odd lesson, I'm always keen to go!

 

[meleeka]

Your lack of mojo and lack of confidence are linked I’m sure, especially as being on full livery, riding is a big part of ownership. I’ve been in a similar position but having them in my own field, I don’t get to not go and the feelings pass. I do seem to do more chores than anything though, which luckily I enjoy.

 

[Hugobear]

Thank you

 

[Hugobear]

I experienced this with my last share. He lost his other sharer, but as soon as I could ride every day I found that it was all too easy not to. It felt like a chore for the first time in my life.

Perhaps predictably, now I'm limited to riding a friend's pony once a week and having the odd lesson, I'm always keen to go!

 

[Hugobear]

Thank you, I’d be happy with one day

 

[meleeka]

Thank you, I’d be happy with one day

Have a think about what you can do for your confidence. You may need to ride something slow and steady for a while or you may be able to work on it with your own horse. Presumably you were once confident on them? I’ve read that a lack of riding confidence is linked to a
lack of confidence in other areas, so think of what you can do to improve that too.

A good tip I had was do something as often as you feel confident with, so that could be just tacking up or getting on for a few minutes, or riding to the gate and back. The more often you have a positive experience, no matter how small, the more it becomes normal.

If you didn’t see your horse for a week would you be happier? I don’t mean relieved, but actually happier.