Happy now he didnt go to prison.

benson21

benson21

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I watched The prison programme on ITV last night about the prison in Aylesbury I think it was, and it got me thinking.
Although at the time of the court case I was desperately disappointed and very angry that the car driver of our accident wasnt sent to prison, I can now say I am pleased he didnt go. the place looked awful and to think I wished that on someone I am findiing it quite hard to think about.
The driver of the car never intentionaly went out to hurt me or the dirl I was riding with, and I am sure he never had the intention of kiling 2 horses, so at last, and its taken a long time, I can confidently say I am happy with his punishment.
Bit of a pointless post, but just needed to write it down.
 
You have a very kind heart. I remember your accident it was dreadful and the worst way to lose a horse I feel. I hope you are fully recovered now and are back riding. I suppose the chap that hit you has got to live with what he has done. Perhaps he will be more careful in future. Good luck.
 
I admire you for that Benson, theres an old saying ...
" holding on to anger, is like drinking poison, and waiting for the other person to die " i agree with that saying, i just wish i could always live by it.
 
I didn't see the programme but have seen similar before. I have to say that for your own health and well being finding yourself in a place of understanding and somewhat forgiveness has to be enormous for you, and must play a huge part in your healing. Good on you Benson, it's always good to hear from you here and this post just proves what a corker of a human being you are :)

All the best x
 
This is perhaps one of the nicest (in a sad way) posts I've read on here. You went through a lot, you've come through it and are still positive. Hats off to you, not an easy thing to do..xx

Marydoll thats a good quote, quite true.
 
I live in Aylesbury but i havent watched this programme .. I think I will though.

When we were house hunting we were shown a property which backed on to the prison wall ..... the estate agent said "you cant see the prison from the garden ...." to which my response was ... "what if you walk backwards down the garden?" Honestly we just had the giggles visualising sitting there one evening having a glass of wine and the pond dissapearing and little muddy wet faces popping up and running across the lawn .....:D Or watching a rope come over the side of the wall :eek:

Needless to say we didnt buy the property and dont live anywhere near the prison :p

Glad you are feeling better OP and your post has shown what a very lovely person you are and I wish you all the best :)
 
What a lovely post. I remember reading about your accident - it's lovely to see you have come through the other side of such a tragic event. X
 
Well done for moving past your anger, now you can hopefully get some proper closure..........the scary thing is I drive past that prison every time I go to stoke hos or we take mum and brother to Oxford....and it's 30 mins from my house!!!:(
 
Bless your heart Benson! I am also glad that you have been able to find closure after your terrible incident but don't feel bad about how you once wished a prison sentance upon the man, a lot of people would wish for the exact same and probably never change their minds about it.

So here's to the future :D
 
What an incredibly magnanimous and deeply humbling post. To go through all that you have and now to arrive at this point displays amazing maturity and compassion. I`m not so sure that I`d be able to. All respect to you.

I saw the programme too and it was grim watching. The poor chap who was held hostage must have been absolutely petrified. No wonder he fainted. So sad.
 
I am glad that you have finally found closure and are on the way to finding peace.

Wishing you all the best and here is to a bright and happy future
 
You really are a lovely lady Benson, brave too, not sure I could be so forgiving but I really admire your post, it's good that you can now begin to move on from the awful accident. x
 
Marydoll said:
I admire you for that Benson, theres an old saying ...
" holding on to anger, is like drinking poison, and waiting for the other person to die " i agree with that saying, i just wish i could always live by it.
Click to expand...

I think that saying says it all, now you've let go of your anger (which is a perfectly normal reaction) you can move on and put it behind you.x
 
Dear Benson ... This is one of the most humbling posts I've read on this forum. To be able to forgive, move on and be positive after your terrible experience is a lesson in life to us all. Many of us moan about life's trivia and get hung up on things which - compared to your experience - are just minor irritations if we're honest with ourselves.

You are a beacon of light for us all to follow.

If you can move forwards from your experiences then we can all get over our own relatively minor ups and downs. I'll certainly remember you when life throws a challenge at me in future.

Much love, respect and gratitude for a lesson in life from me.
 
So lovely to read this. I am so pleased you are feeling at peace with the outcome. I am not sure I could be so forgiving but I would like to hope that I would. As others have said, for your own wellbeing it is a great decision. x
 
Greylegs said:
Dear Benson ... This is one of the most humbling posts I've read on this forum. To be able to forgive, move on and be positive after your terrible experience is a lesson in life to us all. Many of us moan about life's trivia and get hung up on things which - compared to your experience - are just minor irritations if we're honest with ourselves.

You are a beacon of light for us all to follow.

If you can move forwards from your experiences then we can all get over our own relatively minor ups and downs. I'll certainly remember you when life throws a challenge at me in future.

Much love, respect and gratitude for a lesson in life from me.
Click to expand...

Could not have said it better, glad you now have closure Benson x
 
It's good you have found closure OP and you do have a kind heart. The driver will also have to live with what happened everyday of his life, which I imagine would be very haunting too.
 
I saw some of it and agree was a nasty place, Op how forgiving you are bless you but I agree it was an accident and I think it makes you a better oerson to forgive, I am sure the driver is haunted everyday by what happend, I dont know the full extend of the accident but I am truly sorry you lost your horse its every riders nightmare, big hug for you x
 
Nothing much to add to the others, but wanted to post to say that I'm pleased you have reached this stage of closure.

Interesting that you pick up on the issue of intention, on a legal basis this is why drivers who cause serious injury and death often *seem* to be let off lightly by the Courts but it is an important point.
 
In the end, and it has been hard to see, but it was purely an accident. yes, he was going far to fast for the weather and the road, but I cant see that he got in his car that day thinking 'I am intending on hurting someone today'
Like some have said, he has got to live with what he has done, almost as much as I do. I am sure he dreams are full of the same things I have in mine, but maybe, just maybe for him, they are haunting him more.
 
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