has a cry today :(

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Beckie65

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omg what was i thinking i can't do the horsey thing again, Im just not bonding, i know I've only had him 6 days but he seems to have gotten worse, he's being a bugger to catch, i tied him up today and he kept rearing until i got his breakfast, nearly took the post out (concreted in), he tries to round me up when i go get his food, and runs around like a loony bucking and bolting everywhere.
My 2 young sons aged 6 and 4 were terrified, i was told he was a quiet horse to ride and handle, (and he was the day i brought him, a girl rode him bare back with just a head collar!) i brought him from a dealer so i know im not going to get a refund just a replacement :(
 
Ooh you poor thing. It is so so nerve wracking getting a new horse at the best of times.

If i'm honest it takes a good 18 months to fully bond with a horse, to really know each other properly. 6 days is nothing.

It sounds as if he's perhaps picking up on your unceratinty and nerves? He's also probably unsettled being in a new place, with new routines ect.

Do you keep him at a livery yard or at home? I think you need to book lessons now (even if you just have lessons on the ground with him first) and get some horsey friends to help you with everyday tasks. Its amazing what a bit of support can do for your confidence.

Try and be really confident around him. Even if you dont feel confident, pretend that you are and be firm but relaxed and 'not bothered' around him. Most of all stick with it, you need to force yourself to handle him every day and it will get easier I promise!

Is he in or out? Whatever routine you have him make sure its the same every day, this will help him settle. For instance if he's living out bring him in at the same time every day for his food and a brush. If hes upset, just ignore it and carry on. If he goes to move, move him back.. dont let him push you around, be his leader.

You will get there. It is so hard but you will. The most important thing is to get knowledgable help and support at this stage. Whatever you do, dont struggle on alone.
 
My gosh, this sounds like me a few months back. I bought a horse that was a complete nightmare and after jumping put of stable/field and being a git he reared with me and my daughter was also scared, so i sent him back to the dealer. It was not enjoyable one bit and i suggest if he is that bad to do the same, with little children about i wouldn't risk it. But having said that he may be different and need time to settle, but having been there i have tons of sympathy for you and lots of hugs x

Have you tried a calmer? what is his feed? Is he in on his own?
 
yes I've brought a calmer today but i can't see it working out i had a gut feeling that i had made a wrong decision the night i came away from the yard, i own my own stables (2).
 
Its awful when this happens, it happened to me with Charlie. I would suggest phoning the dealers and letting them know of the problems you are having, it might be something as simple as he is not used to be being tied up before eating, i.e eating in his stable. Where did you get him from?
 
Oh, I do sympathise and hope you are not too upset.

If I were you I would ring the dealer who, if they value their business, will understand your predicament and do an exchange. I am sure if they realise your children are upset and threatened they will be sympathetic. If they haven't got anything suitable then still ask them to take your horse back until they have one suitable.

If your circumstances were different then perhaps you could hang in there but you are putting yourself at risk and what will your children do then if you are injured.

I really hope you can resolve things soon. Don't despair and keep us posted.

Good luck xxx
 
Is he on his own now then or does he have a friend for company?

6 days is not very long. I would say feed him in the stable so he doesn't pull back on the leadrope and do himself or your stables damage. And give him time to settle. If he is alone then most horses would not be happy, so you need to consider that. Give him another few days to settle and then ring the dealer if he is not looking like improving. Maybe you could just stand and chat to him for a while each day so he gets used to you.
 
I have 2 horses that i keep at a rented field i there on my own. It took one of my mares about a good 3 month to settle in. She was/is my friends so i kind of knew her. Maybe the horse will just take a while to settle in. What breed is he? I found with my standardbred the best thing was to leave her in the field settle i have also only recently just starting to ride her now been 5 months of having her. She also doesnt like being tied up and also can be a pain to catch infact i wonder if yours is her twin!!!!lol. I dont tie her up very much we do lots of loose stuff such as brushing as how my fields are i have a tiny enclosed area that she can get let into and cant run away from me!!!!!
Also my daughter is scared of my mare and they make each other worse maybe keep little ones away until everything has settled down. Thats what i have had to do.
 
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I bought a mare from a dealer who was sold as "suitable for all the family, easy to do, not mareish" you get the picture. I persevered for 3 months although I was in constant touch with the dealer to register my concerns. I wanted to give her a chance to settle but in fact she got worse, actually becoming quite dangerous, coming at me teeth bared in the field and rearing as soon as I asked her to do something she didnt want too, either ridden or in hand. In the end, the dealer collected her, the deal being that she would replace her with another or sell her and then refund me. Neither option was particularly brilliant but I had heard so many horror stories about people losing everything that I didnt want to be too demanding. In the end she took 2 months to sell her and I lost 300 quid from what I paid so not too bad I suppose. If you can get some professional help in the first instance to try and determine whether it is just her being generally unsettled and you being a bit edgy around her I would try that but do let the dealer know that you are unhappy as the horse is not as described, do you have a copy of the sales blurb, if you do save it! It is possible to return the horse if it is genuinely not as described, you can use Trading Standards to help you, I believe you can ask for a refund rather than a replacement. Keep us posted.
 
I wouldnt class rearing to be fed or rounding you up as quiet, or even unsettled really. That sounds more like a set in behaviour. I've had a few horses that have been unsettled, but never that bad - maybe being shy to catch yes, but not what sounds to be aggressive. Is he good to ride?

I would say give it another week - try the calmer and keep the children away from him.
 
Poor you after making decision to get back into horses. I have two young sons and they were my main consideration when I was looking to buy. If the horse is not safe for your children to be around then you need to be talking to the vendor, you just can't risk yours our their safety. I think if it was just you, you might decide to work through these problems but you have other responsibilities! I have owned several horses all of whom have had issues of one sort or another but they were all lovely to deal with on the ground with anybody. Be strong and get in touch with dealer asap!! Good luck!
 
Take lessons - by that I mean Groundwork Lessons... they run weekend clinics sometimes. And do it quickly.

It helps... when I got my youngster, I immediately booked into one immediately and it helped a lot.

But be careful, there a lot of "Cowboys" and "Cowgirls" out there trying to sell you their services, and they may even have the right qualifications, but are no good at all.
 
The best advice I can offer is to keep your children well away from this animal. Then think about how you do things from his point of view. Get his feed ready before you catch him, if he's out. Feed him in the stable, don't tie him up and expect him to wait quietly. Check that you are feeding him a similar diet to that which he was having before you got him and not too much of it for the work that he is doing. Ensure that he has got a companion, who at this stage accompanies him to the stable and in the field, until he gets his confidence. remember that he has had a lot of changes in his life recently. I doubt if he had been at the dealer's yard long, so he is bound to be unsettled. If you really think that he is unsuitable, contact the dealer and see what reaction you get. Good luck!
 
Beckie65 said:
omg what was i thinking i can't do the horsey thing again, Im just not bonding, i know I've only had him 6 days but he seems to have gotten worse, he's being a bugger to catch, i tied him up today and he kept rearing until i got his breakfast, nearly took the post out (concreted in), he tries to round me up when i go get his food, and runs around like a loony bucking and bolting everywhere.
My 2 young sons aged 6 and 4 were terrified, i was told he was a quiet horse to ride and handle, (and he was the day i brought him, a girl rode him bare back with just a head collar!) i brought him from a dealer so i know im not going to get a refund just a replacement :(
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He isn't a piebald from Kent is he? :eek:

Really sorry to hear this :( If he has come off a dealers yard he may not have had any turnout, which might explain the catching issue? If he is out with other horses catch them first and avoid the 'cat and mouse' situation occuring :D If he is out alone I would recommend leaving him out for longer than normal then going out with some feed to tempt him over :D

Regards the issue with being tied up, from now on I would avoid feeding him 'off the rope' as it will only reiterate the behaviour. Keep the amount of time he is tied up to a minimum and make the experience pleasant (grooming, stroking etc) then put him in the stable to feed him. He should soon learn that tieing up is a relaxing experience and not worth getting in a fret about :D

One final suggestion is, until you have bonded (or at least settled!) the new horse, I would leave your sons in the house whilst you are dealing with his behaviour... I am not anti-kids :rolleyes: I just really don't think you can give your naughty horse your full attention if you are trying to calm upset kids and keep them out of harms way at the same time :D
 
Where did you get him? Ditto the above post - I know a lot of people who have had this type of problem with horses from a certain dealer in Kent. I myself took her to court over a pony I bought and won my case - she has not honoured the court order made in my favour and is ignoring all communication. I had a written warranty that the pony could be exchanged and if no replacement was found in a month I would get a refund. Needless to say she is still trading and I am still being contacted by people having problems .
 
Hi all thanks for your comments, i have since found out that this dealer is a dodgy dealer, I'll pm people who would like to know who the person is, I'll give you a clue and you will all properly guess, he is male, and from Kent and been in the paper, just read the article and im horrified, what a silly girl i have been, i should have done more research, on him, a friend of mine brought from him about 7 years ago when i had my last horse, and she still has him now with no problems thats why i went there. Im dreading going to the yard today, he is turned out on his own for tho's who have asked. x
 
Beckie65 said:
Hi all thanks for your comments, i have since found out that this dealer is a dodgy dealer, I'll pm people who would like to know who the person is, I'll give you a clue and you will all properly guess, he is male, and from Kent and been in the paper, just read the article and im horrified, what a silly girl i have been, i should have done more research, on him, a friend of mine brought from him about 7 years ago when i had my last horse, and she still has him now with no problems thats why i went there. Im dreading going to the yard today, he is turned out on his own for tho's who have asked. x
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oh he's not a piebald, he's 15hh bay welsh section D x 10 years old.

http://redirectingat.com/?id=635X49...andhound.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=362586
 
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Sounds like he's the new boy, being a Kevin, and just testing the boundaries. So you need to let him know where they are - without being nasty or smacking. 6 days is just enough time for him to find out where your buttons are and what happens when he pushes them!

I have a hard and fast rule - no good behaviour , no feed. You don't get food when you are spinning round, kicking the door, half rearing and pushing on me, or shouting at me. When you are standing quietly, and being respectful, then you get your bucket.

I won't throw a bucket at a horse to calm them down - if everyone else gets fed, and you are left to wait, and watch the others eating you will get the message next time. Oh - and you might not get fed at all if you don't calm down and behave. It only takes a few days for the message to get there.

It's not cruel - just being consistent.

IMO calmers are a waste fo time, and focus your hope in a directi0on that won't give you an answer.

For safety, you need a long lead rope, so that you can send him to the end of the rope, with a popper to encourage him to move the part of the body you want him to move. And please wear a hat!
 
Oh poor you, its one of the reasons I haven't even started looking for a new neddie, just not sure I can go through the horror if I get it wrong

But I have 2 scenarios for you based on my previous ill fated horse buying pusuits...

Horse one... Was so utterly terrifying to handle and ride I tried to send her back, owner refused. I got the vet out as she was such a head case. He pronounced her 'just a headcase' and concluded she was probably drugged when I rode her (when she was v v quiet!)

Had professional in and they got off very quicly looking rather shaken. Tried to give her to the local rather dodgy dealer, who to her credit wouldn't take her. To my eternal shame I sold her unwarranted at the sales (should have had her PTS)

Next one I bought bucked like a thing possessed the first time I cantered her when I got her home. Cue me nearly slitting my throat. To cut a very long story short it turned out the old owner had sold her with any old saddle rather than the one she was actually usually ridden in and it didn't fit. Poor horse, it must have been hurting. In the end she was so quiet she was frankly a bit dull to ride

So I guess all I'm saying is first impressions may be right or may not be. Alert the dealer you are having problems, but persevere a little longer to see if he settles. What's he like ridden?

Also good advise on here re the childrens, feeding etc. Good luck and I really hope he turns out like the latter of the 2 horses I bought!
 
sounds a bit like snowflake when we 1st got him, he'd rear.... refuse to stand tied up. jump put the stables or fields.... just be a complete pain anything you tried to do with him.
Even kicked my OH!!!!

Now though even the OH is surprised - a few months on and hes turned into an angel - apart from when putting sun cream on lol, he just took ages to settle in, and now loves to be stroked, lunged, follows me everywhere.

Guess you do need to give it a bit of time.
 
Hi girls a quick update I have the best friend ever! She is going to buy him off me, she loves them the nuttier the better. She is on a yard, I think this would help him settle better. She loaded him the night I got him, and unloaded him once we were home, she came up today and was good for her, he did try to play up a bit but nothing like he has been with me. Then tonight fed him again and we had the same behaviour I think this is for the best. I'm going to have some lessons for a while and maybe loan untill I can get my confidence back. Thank you for all your advice and support It is all appreciated :)
 
Beckie65 said:
Hi girls a quick update I have the best friend ever! She is going to buy him off me, she loves them the nuttier the better. She is on a yard, I think this would help him settle better. She loaded him the night I got him, and unloaded him once we were home, she came up today and was good for her, he did try to play up a bit but nothing like he has been with me. Then tonight fed him again and we had the same behaviour I think this is for the best. I'm going to have some lessons for a while and maybe loan untill I can get my confidence back. Thank you for all your advice and support It is all appreciated :)
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Thats good news, least as you say you can build your confidence back up. There is nothing quite like a mental horse to knock you for six! Good luck and a loan horse sounds like a great idea, i should have done that first :)
 
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