Has anyone become to dependant on an instructor ?

Gingerwitch

Gingerwitch

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Was chatting with friends over a cupper today and i was astounded that one of them is having 4 hours of lessons a week - split over 5 days - firslty i was glad that he can afford it (green eyes from me) but when i asked him why - he confessed that he has "lost the confidence to do it on his own" - i found this really sad - as i have lost confidence in the past - but got it back through gritted teeth and sheer bloody mindedness.

Has anyone ever got caught in this kind of loop? and is it healthy?

I asked him how often he was practicing and he said he was scared too, as it keeps going wrong - and i said thats how you learn - your instructor cant be riding with you on your dressage test..... i know he understands, but how can i help him get the confidence to practice and consolidate what he is learning?
 
Seems like to me that he needs to have a word with his instructor and tell him / her how he really feels and get them to help rebuild he's confidence as this is part of our jobs as instructors to be able to help- in all directions. If he feels that he can't say anything then it maybe time to have a look around for a new instructor to help give some fresh ideas and input.

After all we ride for Fun and that's how it should be ! Just keep being there as a friend.
 
I would be asking how the instructor is teaching. Are they telling him what to do, or encouraging him to think things out for himself? I guess the difference is teaching vs coaching. I think this applies to both confidence boosting and learning how to ride better fwiw.

Sounds like a more coaching-based approach might suit, where he has to work out how to deal with issues/situations that might crop up would be more useful.
 
Well, in a way I can totally relate. Here on the Continent, it is totally normal to be based at your trainer's yard and to get a lesson every single day, 6 days a week. This is how I (and most people) ride / keep horses. And yes you do tend to get used to it.

I always find it extremely healthy when my trainer goes on holiday or when, for some other reason, I have to ride on my own for a whole week. It's reassuring to be reminded that I do not *need* her -- that I can still ride and work my horses without supervision! But obviously, to have an eye on the ground most of the time is also invaluable...
 
FrodoBeutin - now i know why riders from the continent are as good as they are! I am so so envious - I really wish I could afford to do that week in and week out - I thought i was extaravagant having 4 and 5 lessons over a few weeks when i had a new horse.

Now i have 2 half hour lessons a week - one on each of my ridden horses, sometimes if i am particulay struggling with something i will have an extra couple of lessons - each one 30 mins.

Could you cope with one lesson a week now - or would you think that you would regress.
 
In the short term I would be fine, but if it was a long-term arrangement then I think I would regress, yes.

What I wanted to add is that I don't get a 'real' lesson every day -- sometimes, when my trainer is particularly busy or has a lot of horses to ride etc. it will just be 'an eye from the ground'. So maybe some comments here and there, not a 50-minute lesson with the trainer standing in the middle of the arena focusing on you only. Even so, those comments, said at the right time, can make a world of difference.

It's just the way things are, DIY liveries only exist in Britain, here you can get full livery (i.e. without the training) but the majority of people is in training livery. I was actually thinking about a girl who trailers in for lessons with my trainer -- she likes to keep her mare at home, but she trailers in every single day, 5 times a week!! It's just how things work... you grow up based at your trainer's, having lessons every day ... it does become ingrained after a while.
 
Its not that exciting!!! But I've done lots of watching...

From what I can gather, it appears to be 30 minute sessions of being told what to do as it needs to be done, rather than letting the rider feel something, then correct it, and teaching an exercise to correct that issue.

For example, when teaching someone on a nappy horse, I will let it nap to begin with, and ask them when the first felt it start going through its shoulder, then teach them counter flex for example, so they can control the wandering shoulder BEFORE it wanders as far as to become a nap.

This instructor will wait until it is napping completely then just shout kick. Pupils never seem to learn anything more than how to hand over large sums of cash, and exactly what a 20m circle looks like, and never see the other parts of the arena.
 
As an instructor I like to feel that after I have got to know my clients and their horses, I am then teaching them to achieve their potential and be able to feel for themselves when things are going right or wrong and have the confidence and knowledge to react accordingly. When this is happening you can make progress as people are practising on their own and then my job, when they next have a lesson, is to iron out any problems encountered and maybe move them to the next stage.
I have seen cases where instructore almost coax a client into believing they are only capable of doing it correctly when they are being taught and I don't think it is healthy.
Maybe you could encourage your friend to miss every other lesson and use the time inbetween to try things he has learnt?
 
I have a lesson every other week. I like to have some time to work ow my own on what we have been going through in the lessons.

By the time I have hacked out a few times in the week and a day or 2 off for weather or other commitments, only leave another 1/2 other days schooling in the week.
 
I've been here in the past with an instructor, who I believe bred that sort of dependency to boost his ego. TBH the only way out is to engineer a change of instructor - I was lucky in so far that I was relocating which forced the change, but I ended up selling a lovely mare before I left as had lost all confidence in my ability toride my own horse.

Could you persuade your friend to go on a clinic to try a different instructor or something similar? Most instructors (the good ones anyway) haven't got time to teach you everyday, and like leaving you homework to test you on!
 
My instructor is fab. Always makes sure that I understand how to recognise the "feel" of what we are trying to achieve, doesn't end the lesson until we have made progress no matter how small (it has been known for a 40 min lesson to go on over an hour just so we end on a good note!) and leaves me with something to work on and the know how to do it.

We have made massive progress with her help - my giraffe like, motorbiking ex racer has now learned that he actually prefers using his hindquarters rather than leaning on the bit!! This has done wonders - not least in increasing the control I have out hacking now he isn't using the bit to balance himself!!

In contrast a girl I know who has a fantastic "been there done it" hunter/dressage horse is no further on with him or her confidence over 12 months after buying him. She hardly ever rides him and if she does it's after 20 mins on the lunge on her instructor's advice "to take the edge off him". She is now at a stage where she is paying her instructor to ride him more than she does....and guess who she was relying on to find the right horse...?! Its a real shame. I would really love to help her but I wouldn't know what to say without offending her!

IMO the most important part of an instructor's job is to give you and your horse confidence in your abilities and partnership to get out there and enjoy whatever you are aiming for. Not to pocket your cash for little gain.

Wow....this was meant to be a quick reply but got a bit long! Sorry!
 
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