Has anyone else ever just 'not settled' at a livery yard?

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3BayGeldings

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I moved one of my horses to quite a posh, expensive yard a couple of months ago. It has cross country jumps and tracks and all sorts of things that the farm (where I keep my other horses) doesn't, and I thought I'd kind of treat myself to a place with lots of facilities so I could enjoy my new horse more.

During March he was on monday to friday livery and I did him at the weekends. He was cared for impeccably and I would fully reccommend their services to anyone. But when it came to the weekend, I felt like I was almost going there to work rather than to enjoy my own horse. I was scared about dropping hay or straw, and felt like they thought I wasn't looking after him as well as them - it just felt a bit awkward. The head groom is quite a tough lady and I am forever paranoid about what people think of me - I always manage to make a fool of myself and I felt she thought I was a moron whenever I asked how things were done at the yard.

He is now on grass livery but they feed him every day for me. I still only ride at the weekends like I have always done, and as I'm seeing to my other horses after work I don't always get to see this horse every day - it just feels like he's theres now, not mine! Again, I can't fault the yard or the care but I just miss having him with my other horses and looking after him every day..

This is a big load of nothing I know, the only thing stopping me from moving him is that it's more upheavel for him - however, he has been very nervy and fresh since moving to this yard so perhaps he isn't a fan of the busier yards either?

ANYWAY, I've been worrying myself something stupid about this so I thought I'd get it all out on good old HHO. Anyone else had similar experiences? :)
 
I moved to a yard ith a friend, but just didn't settle. I was worried about moving because of my youngster being unsettled still and you know, it's the best thing I did, we moved after just 3 weeks and he is the most settled I have ever seen him now
 
I would move. A friend of mine had kept her horse with this lady for years, same deal as you, doing horse on weekend. She was getting very unhappy but was worried about how her horse would react to moving. She eventually bit the bullet and moved, best thing ever.
 
Yes :).

I think so much of what makes a yard a happy place is down to the atmosphere . . . facilities are nice, but if you're unhappy (or your horse is unsettled), they're not much use.

By way of example . . . a couple of yards we regretted moving to . . .

1) Small (about 9 horses), family-run DIY yard . . . I have no idea why, but the second Kal came off the trailer at this yard he was unhappy and unsettled. We stuck it out for four months, but honestly it was three months too long. Owners were lovely, facilities were nice (school, nice stabling, own-grown hay and straw (good quality)) . . . it just didn't suit Kal, which ultimately meant it didn't suit me. He became unrideable.

2) Large (about 30 horses and ponies), family-run riding centre. Brand new - all mod cons, Kal was on full livery. Huge, brick-built stables, good turnout, small indoor school (ideal for lunging in bad weather), covered wash down/solarium/farrier/area, two alarmed tack rooms, on-site washing machines, enormous outdoor school (with fab surface), 20x60 dressage arena (with dressing), jumping arena, cross country jobs . . . you name it, they had it . . . but I felt like Kal was no longer "mine" . . . all I had to do was show up, groom (if I felt like it), tack up and ride. He was professionally schooled for me three days a week (actually I miss that :)) and my tack was cleaned and boots/numnahs/bandages, etc. were washed for me. They even sorted out sending my rugs off to be cleaned/repaired. We left because it became too expensive (I lost my job) . . . but I think I would have gone anyway b/c I really missed having a "job" to do when I was at the yard.

We moved to our current yard in January (from the big posh yard) - 30 horses (one pony) DIY yard . . . well-maintained, wooden stables - not enormous but big enough - no automatic waterers, decent-sized, well-surfaced school (no mirrors - miss those), set of showjumps, ok turnout (could be better but we manage), fabulous hacking (no roadwork - straight into Forestry Commission land) . . . no'one to muck out, bring in/turnout, etc. for me unless I bribe the odd fellow livery - but Kali has never been happier - and that's what counts.

Bottom line - if you're not happy and/or your horse isn't happy move. This is our hobby - it's what we do to feed our souls/enjoy ourselves and it takes up too much of our time and hard-earned money to let anything get in the way of our enjoyment.

P
 
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Yep, i don't really enjoy where we are at the moment but Wizz loves it and is doing really well, so i'll just suck it up!
Nothing wrong with the yard just a bit big for me.
Im sure they dont think your a moron! Maybe spend a bit longer up there at the weekends try to get to know a few people better.
You can always move him if it doesnt improve.
Good luck
 
I was at a big yard and thought my horses were happy there until I moved them. Now they are more relaxed, the nervy one is no longer headshy and I wish now I'd done it sooner. I do think they pick up on your tension and unhappiness and they settle in quickly if you are more relaxed.
 
I feel for you! I moved to a fab yard with a friend, hated it and lasted a couple of months. The owner wanted to know why I was moving back to my old, falling down yard, but I could hardly tell him I absolutely hated going to his yard! No good reason to hate the place (bar my horse was kicked then PTS there after a few weeks :() but I did from day one. :confused: I'm forever grateful that he sourced several horses for me to try, then found me 'the one' but I was out of there as soon as possible afterwards.

Some yards just don't suit. I do not require a XC course or loads of jumps, but I do need to be left alone and to get on and do my horse as suits me.
 
I am not sure I have really settled at my yard and I've been there five months now. I moved from a smaller yard to a large, mainly diy yard like you, to bring on my youngster. The turn out and hacking are much better - off road hacking which is a big improvement from my old yard that involved hacking out onto busy A roads.

But, I do find it cliquey at best - if my horse wasn't so happy, I would move for my own benefit but currently the hacking couldn't be better and it is conveniently located with home and work.

To be honest, I just try to keep myself to myself (obviously I do say hello and polite chit chat) and do avoid busy times at the weekends, if I can when it seems to be worse. I wouldn't say I am actively unhappy with the yard, but I am not actively happy there either.

Have a hug from me, as I know how you feel. I am sure you will do the right thing and you are strong enough to get through it.
 
I moved to one yard - posh dressage place. I wanted to leave within 2 days.... i just didnt fit in nor liked the way the yard "felt"


so left within a week :o



Ive moved a few times for various reasons, i dont think its an issue as were paying for a service :)
 
OP, your yard sounds exactly like one I used to be on a while ago. The care was excellent with immaculately mucked, huge stables with auto drinkers, impeccably poo picked year round turnout with no serious mud to speak of, unlimited hacking etc. etc. The only thing was the YM who had the ability to make everyone feel about 6 years old. It wasn't a big yard and, to be fair, us liveries formed a united front and were happy enough, but even so it was expensive and it felt like we couldn't enjoy our horses without her stern stare! And if your horse did misbehave, then well ....... !

Anyway, I'm no longer there and have my boys on a scruffy old farm. There are cows, chickens, an owl, grumpy farmers, mud and our fields are currently under water. It's fab, my horses are happy as Larry and I wouldn't move!

So, what I'm rambling on about is, enjoy your horse first and foremost. If the livery yard is preventing this, then why stick around?

Good luck :)
 
marydoll said:
Tbh it all sounds like your perception of what they think, they might not :)
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This. And..

Wizzkid said:
Im sure they dont think your a moron! Maybe spend a bit longer up there at the weekends try to get to know a few people better. You can always move him if it doesnt improve.
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This.

Give it three months minimum. Tell yourself on a daily basis that those posh facilities and services are precisely what a rider of your calibre and sensitivity deserves (even if you don’t believe it now), and stop worrying what people think about you. If they actually think you are moron, they will tell you. Otherwise, assume they are pleased to have you there paying your bills, being calm, happy and enjoying yourself!

If you still hate it after giving it a good shot, then move. Pony will survive.

As the others said, good luck.
 
Yes, twice. First time I was viewing a potential share horse. Loved the horse,her owner was fab, but she wanted her to stay on part livery at a posh competition/livery yard.Whilst I was viewing I felt so uncomfortable that I said no. The second time was with Che, I moved from my little DIY, no facilities yard to a slightly bigger DIY yard with a school and loads of off road hacking. It was so cliquey and I just hated it from Day 1, actually Che settled fairly well but I moved him back where he came from within a week and I think he just thought he'd been on holiday. Ive learnt my lesson, its more about the people and the atmosphere than posh facilities for me, Im staying put even if I have to tangle with chickens messing up the muck heap and sheep wandering in to my tack room and stealing hay :}
 
I totally agree with all the comments above. Too many livery yards can become pretty bitchy at times, and you can feel isolated when others talk behind your back. Its a difficult call if your horse is particularly happy.

If she/he isn't then it shouldn't be too hard to make your mind up to move on, depending on your area, but this may or may not be an easy option. Keeping your head down and minding your own business is the best thing you can do in an environment where there are people who are more interested in bringing you down than the welfare of the horses.

Move on if you can/want, and don't take it personally, its so common for the people in some yards to make you feel that you don't fit in and be bitchy..i'm not sure if i'll get told off for saying this but unfortunately i think its mainly women who are at fault here..put the odd male into the equation and it can sometimes dilute a situation!

For more advice and information this website is good: www.stable-antics.com Best of luck!
 
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I moved recently to be closer to home but have seen a massive difference in both Hippo and myself! We have just gotten so chilled out at this new yard...the last place was lovely, the people were mostly great (meh, there's always one grouchy one:D), but we have just clicked better here!

Caught myself standing in the field hugging Hippo yesterday whilst she grazed...would never have dared do that before! Also here she has bunnies and squirrels to chase!
 
I think you just 'know' if it is the right yard or not.

I am quite gregarious and friend and I moved from just us to a yard with probably 25 other horses.

I love it and my horse is gregarious as well, and he loves it too!!!!

I have lessons with YO who is also BHS RI, and horse and I are just so happy there it is unbelievable!!! Other liveries are fab, everyone helps everyone else - the only down side is that it is 10 miles from home. But I don't care, we like it there and I can stick the travelling even if it means getting up mega early every morning to do him and getting back later in the evening after work.

BUT, I do him myself every day, 7 days a week. I think that would make a difference. If I didn't, I wouldn't feel he was mine (in an odd sort of way!)
 
Moved in on the Saturday and moved her back to where she had come from on the Tuesday,it took the yard owner 2 days to realise I had gone but as she didnt live on the premises and was difficult to get hold of I didnt tell her I was going.
I didnt like the atmosphere and she hated being in her own square paddock electric fenced off from the other square paddocks.She almost trotted up the ramp when we took her away!!
 
Thanks everyone for your replies, nice to know I am not alone :) I think I have just made the wrong decision. As well as just not settling and my horse not settling, he is also in a paddock by himself which I didnt realise he would be, and it's 10 miles away from home.. the negatives just keep adding up in my mind! I should hopefully be moving away at the weekend :)
 
I am at present at a DIY yard, scruffy but safe environment. Horse is quite a sensitive soul and he is happy there. However, it is a distance from home and I do two trips a day, there is no one to assist on holidays/sickness etc. Other people work between two or three horses so I am reluctant to ask them to do mine. Saw an ad for a yard I know which is 2 miles from home and assisted livery BUT I know they are a competitive yard and everything is always immaculate. I am currently pondering whether to move, as I am non competitive and not an incredibly tidy person! Im not unhappy where I am but worry about lack of assistance etc. Is the grass always greener ! It would be good if yards offered you a trial period of a month say so you could decide if its the place for you and your horse, I know this isnt feasible though.
 
We are moving our two horses to a new yard soon. It's much smaller and quieter then the yard we're currently at, so I think our horses will be happier there. I'm still nervous and eager to know we're doing the right thing though! Time will tell I guess!!
 
I'm moving my boy back to the farm at the weekend now definitely, I can't wait! Explained to the very lovely YO that it is simply personal preferance and circumstances as to why I'm leaving so soon and she was very understanding, phew.

Can't wait for the weekend! :D
 
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