Has anyone else taken a break from riding due to lack of confidence?

Yes, I did - and no, it didn't help. A short break may be a good idea, but I found a longer one just made me mull over the "bad" even more. When it came to getting back on, I was worse than I was before the break.

I haven't read the whole thread, so I don't know if you're an owner or not. But best thing to do is get yourself on a confidence giver for a while. Be it a friend's horse (ideal, because you can do 10mins, triumph, and get back off), or a riding school horse. The main thing is to ENJOY yourself and get yourself a small victory, even if that's just walking the perimeter of the school once.

Confidence comes back with enough work, but shutting yourself away from it never does any favours.
 
In general the more you avoid something, the worse your fear will get and the harder it is to get over it. I've learnt this the hard way in several aspects, not just riding. I took a "short" break from riding about 6 years ago but am thinking about riding again. But I've been thinking about it for a year or two!
 
I'm having this exact dilemma at the moment!

I have an 8yr old Section D who Ive had since a foal & he's my world, love him to bits, trust him completely & 110% confident on him even though he bucks & plays up with the best of them at times - quirky is an understatement. Due to a respiratory virus on our old livery he developed a pollen allergy almost 2yrs ago & ever since April - Oct he's unrideable :(

In quick succession over a year whilst looking for another horse for myself - I've had a friends youngster go up vertically, a horse I tried out go up vertically, bought myself a TBx last spring who once fed up turned into a looney boucing everywhere threatening to go up who also had a nasty attitude complete with cornering me in the stable, trying to bite & kick me - so he's now sold on to someone who didnt mind his behaviour at all.

After all this the result is after 20yrs of being totally confident & getting on anything - I lost my nerve. Anything that isnt my cob that gets excited or even joggy I tense up & stress :( I cant believe it!

Now left with the option of taking a step back this spring summer & not looking for something else just picking back up next autumn when my cob comes back into work, or carry on & find something suitable ready for this season. Just really lost my guts :( I know if I duck out this spring/summer though it'll kill me watching everyone going off xc training, for camping trips, nice evening hacks etc.
 
ShadowFlame said:
Yes, I did - and no, it didn't help. A short break may be a good idea, but I found a longer one just made me mull over the "bad" even more. When it came to getting back on, I was worse than I was before the break.

I haven't read the whole thread, so I don't know if you're an owner or not. But best thing to do is get yourself on a confidence giver for a while. Be it a friend's horse (ideal, because you can do 10mins, triumph, and get back off), or a riding school horse. The main thing is to ENJOY yourself and get yourself a small victory, even if that's just walking the perimeter of the school once.

Confidence comes back with enough work, but shutting yourself away from it never does any favours.
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Yes, I actually agree with a lot of that ^ :)

However, just a question: would you say that pushing and pushing yourself when you scared might esscalate the situation? This is my thinking at the moment :)
 
elliecjno1 said:
I'm having this exact dilemma at the moment!

I have an 8yr old Section D who Ive had since a foal & he's my world, love him to bits, trust him completely & 110% confident on him even though he bucks & plays up with the best of them at times - quirky is an understatement. Due to a respiratory virus on our old livery he developed a pollen allergy almost 2yrs ago & ever since April - Oct he's unrideable :(

In quick succession over a year whilst looking for another horse for myself - I've had a friends youngster go up vertically, a horse I tried out go up vertically, bought myself a TBx last spring who once fed up turned into a looney boucing everywhere threatening to go up who also had a nasty attitude complete with cornering me in the stable, trying to bite & kick me - so he's now sold on to someone who didnt mind his behaviour at all.

After all this the result is after 20yrs of being totally confident & getting on anything - I lost my nerve. Anything that isnt my cob that gets excited or even joggy I tense up & stress :( I cant believe it!

Now left with the option of taking a step back this spring summer & not looking for something else just picking back up next autumn when my cob comes back into work, or carry on & find something suitable ready for this season. Just really lost my guts :( I know if I duck out this spring/summer though it'll kill me watching everyone going off xc training, for camping trips, nice evening hacks etc.
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Hope you get your confidence back, it's amazing how easily it is knocked.
 
HorsesHavingFun said:
Yes, I actually agree with a lot of that ^ :)

However, just a question: would you say that pushing and pushing yourself when you scared might esscalate the situation? This is my thinking at the moment :)
Click to expand...

In a word, yes. The problem you have is that the majority of horses will pick up on you being nervous. I know that with my gelding, if I tense, he convinces himself we're all about to die. You try to push yourself through it, they're already tense, things go wrong, your confidence drops even further.

Confidence is fragile, and it takes a long time to build it back up. It has to be taken back to basics and small steps. The important thing is to get off at the end of a ride and feel GOOD. It doesn't matter how long you were on or how much you did, as long as it was a good experience.

I lost my confidence to a point of not wanting to ride again and putting my horse up for sale in March last year. 10mths later I'm back to functioning at walk to canter, riding regularly, laughing off the bucks / spooks / tanking off / stupidness, and I'm looking to introduce him to jumping soon (ned is a green 5yo). I still have the same horse I lost it all with. It's do-able, it just takes the time and effort. Never push yourself too far too fast. Sit back, and only push on when you really feel you WANT to, never when you HAVE to.
 
For me it wasn't a complete break from riding - but a complete break from riding one particular horse for 18 months...

I lost my nerve completely with one of my boys when he was younger as he would take off with me given the slightest trigger. Although we never had an accident, the fear of being bolted with got too much and we ended up in a viscious circle with my nerves winding the horse up and vice versa.

However, I was more fortunate than many others in that I had another horse I could ride. (Who is far from easy at the best of times, but who I trust). So, horse no. 1 got turned away for 18 months while I concentrated on the other boy.

That 18 month break was the best thing ever. The horse really matured (both mentally and physically) in that time and when I finally started working him (initially only in a confined area, because I was still too nervous to ride him in a big open space, and still too nervous to canter) he was a different horse.

I remember when I finally plucked up the courage to enter him for a novice endurance ride. At this time I could canter him in a confined area, but hadn't yet cantered in an open space.

At the ride, I hooked up with someone else (believe it or not, a 14 year old girl on a fantastic, steady pony) and we did the ride together and - can you imagine what I must have looked like - the tears of joy streaming down my face when we achieved our first canter in the wide open, with no boundaries for reassurance, and there was never a chance of the horse taking off with me! (Just imagine a 40ish year old woman in tears, and the person who's helped and is grinning from ear to ear is a 14 year old girl!)

BTW: He's become a fantastic ensurance horse now and I can safely ride him anywhere without fear.
 
I had an accident, realised quite how close I came to being crippled, had a meltdown and sold my horse. After three months I missed riding and could walk reasonable well again so I had a go on a school master for a while and decided that I need another horse. I bought my current mare as being mature and safe and we immediately clicked - my confidence just flooded back. We are now speedy middle aged ladies behaving badly and having a ball :D
 
ShadowFlame said:
In a word, yes. The problem you have is that the majority of horses will pick up on you being nervous. I know that with my gelding, if I tense, he convinces himself we're all about to die. You try to push yourself through it, they're already tense, things go wrong, your confidence drops even further.

Confidence is fragile, and it takes a long time to build it back up. It has to be taken back to basics and small steps. The important thing is to get off at the end of a ride and feel GOOD. It doesn't matter how long you were on or how much you did, as long as it was a good experience.

I lost my confidence to a point of not wanting to ride again and putting my horse up for sale in March last year. 10mths later I'm back to functioning at walk to canter, riding regularly, laughing off the bucks / spooks / tanking off / stupidness, and I'm looking to introduce him to jumping soon (ned is a green 5yo). I still have the same horse I lost it all with. It's do-able, it just takes the time and effort. Never push yourself too far too fast. Sit back, and only push on when you really feel you WANT to, never when you HAVE to.
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Thank you, that was really helpful, just what I needed to hear! :)
 
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