Has anyone given up horses due to livery yards?

I feel for you OP. Love having our own property but livery yards can make you love your horsey life or hate it and it’s all down to the other humans.

When we had our horses on livery, we met some amazing people, most of which are still some of my closest friends today even though we all bought our own places after being on livery.

We take on the odd livery at our place but are super strict about behaviours (of the humans). Our contract has a termination clause that spells out both termination for convenience and termination for cause. Benefit is in discussing these clauses with the livery there is clarity on expectations on both sides.

Look for your “people”, have a clear conversation about culture, behaviours and expectations with prospective yards.
 
It helps to listen to them all, make no comments that can be passed on, and don't join in the bitching and character assassinations, Keep your stuff locked away. Go to the yard to be with your horse, and enjoy him. You may find that Facebook is largely to blame for most of the drama, plus people living their lives as if they are in a soap opera.

I think this is good advice; so many folks seem like they are on a reality tv show or social media reel nowadays, I just turn their voices down to a background drone or make some excuse and disappear.
 
We've had our horses on some fantastic yards and at home, and I've had horses since I was a child, for over 30 years. There really are some great yards out there, so I wouldn't give up.

I have only ever had one livery situation which made me unhappy where the yard owners who didn't know much about horses and just kept polo ponies and hunters for sport. I also worked on a pro yard in Denmark which was too much of a horse factory for me, and worked on a yard in Spain where I didn't like the welfare and vet standards. Other than that, I have always had great experiences with my own horses on livery.

I do take a very business-like approach to livery. I keep it completely separate from my social life - I go to see my horses and ride. I'm pleasant and friendly to everyone but I genuinely might not recognise them if I walked past them in the street - especially if they weren't in horse gear.

I always make an effort with the staff. I bring pastries and cakes down from time to time, I will drop off biscuits if I know they have had a bad week. I make sure I know their names and bit about their lives so I can talk to them about their horse/ dog / child etc. I thank them for everything regularly. It can be a very thankless job.

I keep everything of mine very neat, tidy and to a minimum. Everything is labeled, washed, stored in matching sealed boxes. I bring down what is needed for the time and the season and make sure that updated inventory lists are shared. If they know I am meticulous with my stuff, they tend to look after it too and other liveries are much less likely to borrow things.

I try to give plenty of warning for vet, physio, etc so others can join appointments but I always organise and expect to pay the full fee myself, and I pay everything immediately - as in get invoice, pay as soon as I see it. I find that service people and livery yards really appreciate that, and will often go over and above for me.

I am also very realistic about the fact that I am 'buying' a service, so I will get the service that is being sold. I have to be prepared to live with what is offered and that inevitably includes compromise. They won't run things the way I would at home, they will manage turnout differently, their house their rules etc. So I expect to have to fit in with the yard, not the other way around, and see my options as to move if I don't think it works for my horses. I also expect my horses to learn to be mannerly and easy in different situations and environments. I personally find that overly routine managed horses aren't as resilient and adaptable, and tend to be more stressy. Miri is certainly much less stressy than she was when she arrived with me, and now happily pops home for a holiday, has gone to a friends yard for a bit when I was away, has been on two livery yards - she's more settled, not unsettled now that she has learned to process change well.

When I do move horses, I'm always completely clear about the fact that a situation not being the right fit for a horse in a particular period of its life isn't the same as there being a problem with the yard, and leave on great terms. It's just horses for courses. I have often moved horses back to yards or different horses onto yards I have moved horses out of in the past. Horses come home for holidays, they need rest for injuries, they may benefit from different focuses at different points in their lives, and all the YOs I have known have completely understood that.

So far, I've really appreciated the yards I use and have had great experiences, so I hope it's just a spate of bad luck for you.
 
I was on one yard that was run like an absolute military operation - the YO wasn't always the easiest woman but you couldn't say you didn't know where you stood. There was no group chat and tittle tattle or gossiping would get you kicked off in a heartbeat. If Person A told you their horse was lame, and you told Person B about this in casual conversation, you'd get a warning. Any cliques were not tolerated either, of course you could ride with others and socialise but standing around for hours drinking tea and gossiping was not acceptable. You came down to spend time with your horse and that was that. It wouldn't suit everyone but I will say it was probably the most peaceful period of horse ownership I have ever had, there was always zero atmosphere of "what are they chatting about in the corner", no unsolicited advice and no drama.
 
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