Has anyone transformed from a nervous to a confident rider?

EbonyJayne

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I'm having a crappy day and everything is bothering me 😭

It's got me thinking about my riding...I've never been the most confident rider in the world but following an accident which was about a year ago I'm really nervous, not that bad in an enclosed space but roads petrify me (accident was on a pretty busy road) has anybody had anything similar happen? How did you deal with it? What should I be doing to help my confidence? I've thought about lessons which I do plan to do but I've just not got around to it yet.
Even without an accident is there anyone who was a nervous rider who has transformed to a confident rider who has gone out and done things with their horses? I've always wanted to hunt (although I know very little about it) I want to build my confidence so I can get my boys out doing things.

I just need abit of inspiration I think 😊
 

Hippophilia

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I found a good instructor was key. In my first lesson with her my current instructor asked why I was so tense and I realised it was pure fear. She took everything back to basics and supported me all the way. I competed for the first time in the summer (and won!) which I never would have done without her help. Find the right person and you'll feel the change quickly.
 

EmmasMummy

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I have/did. I went from crying when I had to canter to a few months later singing as I went over a 1.20m spread (I will say though, I did it 4 times and that was it, never jumped that high again). I could gallop through the fields and along the beach.

I am not sure what did it. I had an instructor who wholly believed in me though. He even got on to show me what my horse could do, and I saw other people ride him and once I saw them do something I knew he could do it and if he could do it as long as I believed I could do it and committed then I would be ok. Wont lie, did come off.......a lot first time he bolted I had to bail and broke my ankle. That gave me the even bigger fear of open spaces, and on hacks he would about turn and scoot off home - with our without me :( I found the ability to laugh at yourself is handy. But it wont happen over night. You need to prove to yourself that you are fine. Even if its walking ten paces and turning round, then next time 20 etc.
 
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mandwhy

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Your fears are perfectly reasonable. It all takes time. I had a silly fall where I smashed the tendons in my elbow, it hurt so much and didn't heal for a year, my arm still won't fully straighten two years on but I am pretty confident now. I can canter and gallop in straight lines happily (tight corners too fast make me nervous), I would probably have made more progress with a different horse to be honest but that's ok, I'm really happy with my progress :) and my horse, bless her.

My advice is to keep on doing whatever you are comfortable with, I did walk and halt schooling and little walk hacks in the quietest of settings for ten mins, and walks in hand, all of those things could be a little bit challenging at the time. It is not up to anyone else to tell you when you are ready to up your game, but a good instructor who specialises in confidence is worth the money, I had some lessons that I would pay for ten times over knowing how much they helped, but I am very sensitive about being pushed too hard and get defensive and worried if I feel I'm not ready, but that's ok because I allowed myself as much time as I wanted. I did also move somewhere quieter in this time. I actually had my bad fall on grass in a not paying attention situation, and later had a fall on a busy road which had until then been my absolute worst nightmare and the reason I wouldn't hack alone. That fall was fine, I wasn't injured, the horse trotted to the grass verge where someone grabbed her, and I was nothing but very winded and embarrassed, I had no BP on and it was on tarmac, so it's not always bad falling on the road, although of course to be avoided!

Good luck, you'll get there, it's all about repetition of good experiences.
 

Spot_the_Risk

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I have, I nailed it myself through shear determination... The desire to ride was greater than the fear. I started out by literally walking in the school for about five minutes, my horse was a saint and we came on together, within a couple of months I was happily hacking anywhere.
 

Regandal

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I agree with Emmasmummy that it can really help if you see someone more confident riding your horse, doing the more challenging stuff. I am not a brave jumper but my friend's daughter is. Watching her jump my horse was amazing and gave me the confidence to try it.
 

lauraea

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I know how you feel!

I don't know how bad your accident was EbonyJayne, but I also had an accident on a busy main road and although I wasn't hurt, my already insecure boy had pretty cut up legs and had terrified himself.

After immediately moving yards (the accident was the straw that broke the camels back, as I had been unsure about the super busy roads surrounding the previous yard for weeks) - I got back on my boy down a quiet lane, with a companion both on foot and another horse... I haven't looked back since.

I had always been confident and after temporarily losing my confidence in my horse a little, I realised that accidents do happen but it doesn't have to dictate our future for us :)

The suggestions to watch someone else riding your horse are great, I didn't have the opportunity to do this but the old instructor saying "dust yourself off and get straight back on" were embedded in my brain and it's exactly what I did. I was lucky that I was able to move yards to a quieter village where although we still do road work, there is nowhere near the same level of traffic and it's allowed me to enjoy hacking again and not spend the entire time on edge because cars, lorries and buses are whizzing past. This can't be enjoyable for anyone!

Wish you all the best, would love to hear how you get on!
 

Equi

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Its all about the horse. I was always an okay confident rider, got my TB and had our first gallop and i was blown away by it (i was used to a little welsh pony and a 30yo TB lol) and it knocked me back a lot tbh. I lost about 2 stone though and that in itself made me more confident, plus the fact my new friend at uni was a hunter and i felt the need to show off. I then had a spook (first and last time in the 5 years i had him) and i came off at canter, and although i didn't hurt myself it knocked me back so much i had to sell the horse. I then took my friends horse and he got be back into it, he took me to the beach, an arena, hacking etc. I would not say i'm CONFIDENT but he made me braver cause i trusted him 100%
 

Silmarillion

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I can still be nervous, but I don't think you'd know it watching me with my horse. My instructor and my horse (and the horse I rode before him) have been the key elements in my gaining confidence. I also know my limits - I refuse to ride horses, or in situations, that worry me.
My instructor didn't necessarily focus on confidence as such, but she transformed my seat and my confidence came with it. The trust I had in her, and the horse I was riding at the time, just kept building on my confidence. The horse eventually broke my trust and confidence, but by that time I had met my boy and I now just ride mine. He bucks and is quite cheeky, but he doesn't worry me at all much to my surprise! I trust him.
Trust is definitely key.
 

abes mum

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I am a very nervous rider to and I find that if I get too bad I hop off for a moment, have a walk to chill out and then get back on. My boy can have his moments but I am very lucky in that if he is a bit bouncy I drive him, it's strange but I am incredibly confident driving which a lot of people can't understand. I feel safer as not on horse! Baby steps are the way to go and don't put too much pressure on yourself.
 

oldie48

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I also struggle with nerves and this can make me tense and tip forward, which is exactly what you don't want! I fear "falling off" but I rationalised that when I go out in my car, I don't constantly worry that I'm going to crash. I also have a new horse that I don't know that well so it's natural to be a bit wary, it's just commonsense but he's not done anything to worry me and is proving to be kind and genuine and as we get to know each other I'm getting more relaxed with him and not surprisingly, he's more relaxed with me! so I'd suggest you try to find out what it is that makes you fearful and approach it rationally. A good trainer and a nice genuine horse will help you enormously. Actually, I fell off my new horse for the first time on Friday, it was almost a relief as it was OK I didn't die! Thinking about it rationally, most falls I've had haven't hurt me and that's true of most riders and if you ride, you will "hit the ground" from time to time. So I'm trying to live in the now, rather than in the past (the fall that did do lots of damage) and in the future (the fall that may never happen). Good luck, we are so lucky to ride and spend time with such lovely animals!
 

EbonyJayne

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Thank you everyone! It's really nice to hear that it is possible to get over it! I think part of my problem is that was my only fall and it was really quite bad. I always thought before 'I need to fall of to realise I'm not made of glass and not be as scared to fall again' that backfired! 😐 but I am going to look for a good instructor to try and help me. I'm not going to be too enthusiastic but I'm hoping by next year I will have cracked it totally! Thanks again! 😀
 

EquestrianFairy

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I'm doing it as we speak.. I used to cry and breakdown over canter poles and many a time I point blank refused to jump a 1' cross pole.
With a good instructor, masses of support from friends and a horse I trust I am now jumping 1m confidently and instead of being the person who says 'can we put it down please' I'm now the one who says 'can we put it up!'

I have a long way to go yet but I'm finally loving riding again like I used to.

I also make sure I try and do one competition a week.
 

Pippity

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Bizarrely, what helped me was G. doing a mahoosive spook and tanking off down the road, with me more off than on. I'd been dawdling back from a hack, feet out of the stirrups and reins held in one hand on the buckle end, and I figured that if I could survive that, I could survive most things G. would throw at me. (Although I do keep my feet in the stirrups unless we're in the school now.)

I still wouldn't say I'm a confident rider in general, but I'm confident on G.
 

Renvers

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Yes, I am currently a confident rider, but on the journey from nervous to enjoying myself and pushing my boundaries riding my own and competing on others' horses I learnt never to be complacent about feeling confident. You must work at it all the time and especially on your attitude. Celebrate every success :D

You say you are thinking about lessons, i think training with a trainer you click with is essential, I also worked on fitness and particularly core stability.

Listen to your body and your emotions, your body and mind are great at self preservation and strong emotional responses are a message from yourself. You have had bad experiences so your body and mind try to protect you, rightly or wrongly, from the same happening again. Build up slowly with good experiences and your mind and body will relax and you can gain confidence again.
 

Simbacat

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I had rather given up on riding in the UK but went on a holiday on Mozambique of all strange places to a hotel that had amazing horses that had rehabilitated a load of nervous riders. I now know of a few places abroad where the environment is different and standards of training are much higher than in the uk (at a pleasure ride level of course not competing) if you are interested pm me and I can give you a few options that might really change your whole outlook on riding. It worked for me, I now own a rather firey chestnut thoroughbred mare who lives up to all her stereotypes and whom i love.Its helped me to look at riding from an entirely different perspective and to set yourself really new challenges
 

Cinnamontoast

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On the same note but on the ground, how does one overcome the fear when going to catch in? I have had a major backwards move and am currently unable to go through or round certain horses. I've even thought of moving yards to somewhere lots quieter with less horses. :( I really don't want to move :(
 

Simbacat

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How about gently twirling the end of your halter at a horse ( or more than one) when you go in the field until they move away from you. Once you realise that they are all big wusses that are quite easy to move around you will feel more confident.
 
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