Have a feeling i'm going to be a nightmare to share for....

[Perfect_Pirouette]

So, after a couple of timewasters etc I have found a lady to share my boy. She's really nice and has a 10 year old daughter who is horse mad etc and loves him already. At first I said I didn't really want the 10 year old riding him as she is very small Guinness is too big for her really (15hh cob) plus she has only just been riding for 8 months.

They are both lovely but there is just onem quite big problem I guess, they're both TOTAL NOVICES. I.e, have only ever had a few lessons in a riding school etc. The lady could only really get a trot out of him yesterday as he is very lazy without spurs, however her leg position is not good enough to wear spurs so she will just have to get used to him and persevere.

They came today for a 'do everything' kind of day where they mucked out, groomed, did haynets, feeds etc all under my supervision. I know i'm quite meticulous about things and can be a bit of a control freak sometimes but I did find it a bit awkward as everything they were doing wasn't right

I had to correct them on almost everything as that horse means the world to me and I want to ensure that he's left in the best possible care.

The lady today asked if the little girl could have a ride today on the lead rein, I said yes that was fine. She really is far too small for him, her legs only just reach just under the saddle flaps so when she kicks it doesn't really do anything

I gave her a few trots round etc on the lead rein and then the lady asked could the little girl have a go on him on the lunge instead, so I agreed. Then the little girl wanted to have a canter, she was quite insistent so I let her but she almost fell off as she's so small and he's quite long strided for a cob. So i said that she shouldn't really be cantering him until she's had a lot more lessons. Then the mum got on and this time managed to get a better trot out of him then when she came to ride him yesterday, but when she asked for canter he didn't give her one and it's because she wasn't using the correct aids, didn't really realise that you have to put your outside leg behined girth etc and I don't think he knew what she was asking him to do

I know i'm going to sound like a right cow, it's just i've put so much work into him these last few months and finally got him where I want him, he is always forward now and always in a nice outline etc, we've been doing really well at dressage comps lately and I just don't want to see him ruined

It's their first day tomorrow all on their own and i know i'm going to be fretting all day as I will be worried. I don't think it's the riding so much, just the general caring for him etc like making sure he has enough water, mucking him out properly, making sure his hay is soaked and not to ride him for an hour after he's been fed etc etc. Gah, has anyone else felt like this when getting a sharer? Or is it just me, I think I am too posessive and over-protective really

 

[Pedantic]

No, I would be EXACTLY the same as you,

whether your a cow or not I wouldn't know

 

[HollyB66]

Thought you might like to hear it from the other side of the fence - I am also a 'novice' rider/carer and with a 13yr old daughter.

A few months ago we decided we really wanted a horse of our own. Luckily it has taken us a while to find one - I say luckily because in the interim a great friend of mine offered me her mum's horse to look after whilst she was out of the country for 5 weeks - in that period he was ours to 'look after' - with the occasional supervised ride thrown in.

As 'newbies' to all this - there is so much to learn!!!

My friend has been an absolute star, she has shown me how to muck out - and I still don't think i am up to her standards - I do try so hard.

You could offer the mum and daughter a list of all that needs doing - and in great detail, if she is anything like me she won't be at all offended and will find it a great aid memoir. She could easily forget something - there really is a lot to take in when you first start. As seasoned owners you probably don't realise just how much 'stuff' you need to know.

I wish you both the best of luck - it is hard for both sides to 'get the hang of it'. But be honest and open with the mum and daughter - they will probably appreciate it - if put across correctly they will learn from 'constructive criticism'.

Holly B

 

[Booboos]

In terms of mucking out, etc. I think it's more important how quickly people learn rather than how much they know. You might actually find that they learn to do things 'your way' and you are a lot happier than having someone more knowledgeable come in and insist on doing things their own way.

In terms of the little girl riding, if you think this is a bad match you really need to say something before she falls off and possibly gets hurt. Maybe the mum could have a few lessons to help her out a bit?

 

[Clodagh]

I have a novice mum and daughter ride my young pony. The plus side is you teach them to do it your way, the downside is having to explain everything!

 

[Trotting]

He's your horse and you obviously want the best for him so, they should both understand that you want the best possible care and might nag a little. Give them some time to get into the swing of things, learn from their mistakes and make corrections. If your still unsure about this share, then speak to them about it and explain your doubts.
I've been riding for years and have had 2 previous loans but, still feel unsure when doing things "my way", just be gentle on them unless they really do mess something up.

 

[Aragon56]

It depends what kind of sharer you're looking for, do you want one that will be able to get the best out of your horse and do a bit of schooling with him, or just want some help with the stable duties & exercising?

It really depends on your horse, if he picks up bad habits easily, or is he the forgiving type? Personally I would hate all the work I'd put into a horse ruined by someone who was still learning how to do rising trot, because although I trust Angel with novices, she would just find it so so boring going round in circles in the school. I think you'd have to insist they have lessons if they're going to share him..

I would be a bit wary about the daughter, if she's really insistent on riding then her mum will probably let her. Your horse sounds like the type that will 'switch off' a bit when he has a total novice on him, which is great, but you wouldn't be able to trust them out hacking for quite a while IMHO.

If you're going to go ahead with this, draw up a share agreement that states you can terminate at any time, and also say it will be a months trial at first. if you think that it isn't working out and they've taken on too much by this point, then I would look for someone else.

I took on a couple of sharers recently and both had ridden a bit, but were not so knowledgeable with the stable duties. It didn't matter that they weren't amazing riders who would be able to teach my horse stuff, I chose them because they were confident and were happy just to hack. I thought I had ran through everything, but then when it came to changing Angel's rug to a middleweight about a month ago, one of the girls put on her fleece rug by mistake. It was no big deal, we're friends, but unfortunately the share came to a very abrupt end when it became clear my horse just wouldn't stand up to being ridden regularly because of her tendon injury, so I decided to semi-retire her.

I think once you've been looking after your own horse for a while, its really easy to forget how much there is to learn, and all the various horsey terms! Also a really good idea is to buy a notebook, and keep a communal diary, so that everyone writes down a couple of lines each day about what they did at the yard. I found this really useful to refer back to, especially when you won't be there to supervise every day.

 

[Chestnutmare]

Oh bless you, your just being careful and there's nothing wrong with that, I too had a lovely girl take Merl on share and she was qute a novice I am also very very particular when it comes to my horses, but I explained everything to her showed her how I like things and how to do stuff left her a complete list on how things are to be done to the letter and she coped really well I was also fretting for a bit but she had the willingness in her and I found that much better than someone who knew it all and wouldnt listen to me, sadly though it was cut short as he was taken ill and sadly PTS after about 3 weeks of her taking him on...shame as she was really starting to do so well with him and he liked her too...

So I know how you are feeling with this one give it w while maybe a trial period and if your still not that convinced then call it a day??