Have horses and don't want kids?

I have reasons for not having children of my own, and right now I don't want children. However I am still in my 20's so that may change if I get older, if it does then I will foster or adopt.
At the moment I am happy playing with my friends' children and my horses!
 
I don't really 'do' kids either. Other people's are OK, and I am not stuck with them forever, but the thought of my own makes me feel uncomfortable. Happily I cannot actually carry a child to term anyway, so it kind of takes the decision away from me anyway.
 
My story is slightly different. From when I got married at the age of 27 I spent nearly 10 years trying to have children. We had successful IVF treatment when I conceived twins but lost one at 17 weeks and our daughter was stillborn at 36 weeks. We then had two unsuccessful IVF attempts.

We could see the mental strain and damage this was doing to our marriage and decided to stop trying for a family. Frankly I was heading for a complete breakdown. I decided I needed a new focus in my life. I have ridden all my life but never had my own horse. Buying a horse was one of the best decisions I ever made. A horse will never replace my daughter but I do believe they fulfil my maternal instinct to look after something/somebody.

I am on a big yard with quite a few women in their 30s/40/50s who don’t have children for various reasons but I don’t believe any of us baby our horses and I think they would all agree that horses are nowhere near as important as people.
 
When I was 8 I bet one of my school friends that I would never have kids. I'm now 49, haven't had any, and I haven't collected my winnings yet!

I can't remember ever wanting them when I was younger but in my late 30's I did feel a bit maternal but I never felt desperate to have one. My partner was not interested whatsoever so I never pursued it. I like kids and work with them but I don't think I could take one on full time. When my friends had babies it didn't make me feel maternal as I don't find them very attractive at all, I felt guilty that I couldn't find them as cute as a puppy or a foal! I love the age group I work with, 8 - 12's and I think that satisifies any maternal instincts that I have, I do loads of fun things with them - junior youthwork at an inner city riding school - teaching them stable management, taking them on trips etc. I enjoy their company but what I do is enough. I don't want the tantrums, the fishfingers, the snots, the vomit, the hairwashing, the worrying that something is going to happen to them.

I love my life. I love my partner, I work part time and I have my horse. Although I have loads of spare time I never to seem to have a minute! I love having the time to school my horse when I want to, go for long hacks, spend time with my partner and see my family.

It's not everyone's idea of an ideal life but it's near enough mine!
 
I had to give up horses for five years to have children. I thought I would cope and had visions of just parking the pram up next to the arena and hopping on to ride. Indeed, I was back in the saddle less than a week after having my first, but once my hubby had to go back to work I found I just couldn't juggle a baby, full time job and horses. I loaned my horse out and got him back five years later once my youngest was old enough to go to playschool, I had my horse back and never stopped riding since. I would definitely have regretted not having children if I got to where I am now and we had none.
 
I never wanted children but fell pregnant by accident and I couldn't be happier with my little surprise and am even contemplating having another! Must be mad! However, I cannot stomach other people's children!

But you can still have a good career, a hobby and still have children - it is possible!

x
 
badgerdog said:
I don't want the tantrums, the fishfingers, the snots, the vomit, the hairwashing, the worrying that something is going to happen to them.
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eww, no me neither. Other peoples snotty kids turns my stomache and the thought of someone else's child with headlice makes me shudder, oh and the bum wiping :eek:

Yet give me a nice, smelly poultice which has drawn out some puss in the hoof, and pass me the rubber gloves to do some sheath cleaning and I couldn't be happier :D

I'm sure if it was my own I'd have a change of heart :)
I can not bear other dogs poo either, but clearing up after my lovely doggy, who only produces sweetness and light is fine ;)
 
My OH and I are the same, not wanting children!! He mentioned having children a few years ago but after I pointed out that as I would be riding he would need to look after it, so no fishing, shooting etc, he didn't mention it again!!
 
I never thought I wouldnt have children but then never yearned them. I never felt maternal and a work colleague who was broody said it would happen one day. It didnt, so weve not had kids and cant now as hubbys been 'done'. Im happy with our decision though I do sometimes wonder if when I get a bit older I might regret it. Saying that after reading some of the replies ffrom those a bit older than me, I now dont think I will.
Most of my horsey friends are childless too and have no plans to have them.
I think maybe Im selfish with my time and like to come and go as I please.
 
Misinterpreted said:
eww, no me neither. Other peoples snotty kids turns my stomache and the thought of someone else's child with headlice makes me shudder, oh and the bum wiping :eek:

Yet give me a nice, smelly poultice which has drawn out some puss in the hoof, and pass me the rubber gloves to do some sheath cleaning and I couldn't be happier :D

I'm sure if it was my own I'd have a change of heart :)
I can not bear other dogs poo either, but clearing up after my lovely doggy, who only produces sweetness and light is fine ;)
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Snap :D:D
 
There is only one good use for kids - target practice! I hate them! I really do! I hate doing lead rein showing as I have to talk to the things, I hate teaching as again, I have to talk to the things and it's the parents that are the worst!

I am never having kids. People often call me selfish considering how many people want them but can't have them but I'm sorry, as far as I am concerned there are enough orphans in this world so there is no need to add to the worlds population.
 
I never planned to have kids until my late thirties as my animals were my life and didn't ever think I could fit a baby in and I don't think I wanted to either. Then at 28 I fell pregnant! Having my daughter is the best thing I ever did! (even the birth was okay, nothing compared to falling off a horse, these non-horsey people have no pain threshold IMO!!!!).
I was a bit unsure on how I would cope as my partner works away all week, no family or friends nearby as had just moved and having two idiotic horses was a bit of a worry!! However, both my horses got exactly the same treatment as before, my daughter had to fit in and that was that!! And she did! I rode a week after giving birth with no problems, I think being busy and active looking after the horses whilst pregnant kept me very fit. She's now 9 months old and loves seeing the horses! She's used to sitting in her pushchair/playing in travel cot whilst I sort them out. The best bit is getting her a pony and experiencing things like pony club with her (hoping so much that she enjoys them like I do!). We also have two rottweilers who are great with her (despite a lot of people tellling me it won't work!). As for my lifestyle, nothings really changed, except I'v got a little girl who comes everywhere with me and gets to experience all the things I did when I was little, Burghley soon!! Holiday wise, nothing's changed as the horses are at home so it's not easy anyway to just pack up and go!
 
I want a horse instead of a child! Am broody for a dobbin. :) I've never wanted a baby. I think the world is overpopulated with humans.
 
Ayla84 said:
I have never and will never want kids, havent got a maternal bone in my body and it will stay that way lol, OH feels the same. I`ve never been a fan of children even when my friends are all having them it doesnt sway me one bit. i`m happy with my horses and dogs :)
IMO babies/kids :

Eat alot,
cry
scream
have tantrums
give you abuse when they`re older, make you worry
majority of women have to be cut when giving birth (my best friend had a baby a week ago and still cant sit down)
I`m fat enough without putting on another 2 stone +
I`m selfish and like my sleep too much
Stretch marks
I`m a D cup now and they annoy me as it is I couldnt cope with bigger boobs :D
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You forgot all the puke and filthy nappies ...yuck:eek:
 
I have no maternal instinct so I married a man who already had 4 and didn't want anymore. I am a step-mum and step-granny (at the age of 37 when first grand child came along) I got fed up of people asking me when I was going to have children and the look of disgust when I replied I didn't want any so I now say I'm to old or I can't have them - that stops all further questions.
 
I am another with no desire for kids. Seems too much of a sacrifice. So much of our lives would have to change, and my boyf and I are very happy as we are.
I am sure if it happened by mistake it would be ok, but I take all steps to prevent any accidents :)
Two of my colleagues feel exactly the same. I do think it is becoming more common these days.
 
Ayla84 said:
IMO babies/kids :

Eat alot,
cry
scream
have tantrums
give you abuse when they`re older, make you worry
majority of women have to be cut when giving birth (my best friend had a baby a week ago and still cant sit down)
I`m fat enough without putting on another 2 stone +
I`m selfish and like my sleep too much
Stretch marks
I`m a D cup now and they annoy me as it is I couldnt cope with bigger boobs :D
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all my reasons not to have kiddies! saved me having to type them all out, cheers :D
 
Sealine said:
I think they would all agree that horses are nowhere near as important as people.
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In some cases :p
I'm certainly not having children because i would rather give up my child than sell my horse...i would have known her longer! and my horses are much more worth knowing than some people i know.

But i would agree that a lot of people think that humans hold more value than a horse.
 
I am quite happy to admit that I am too selfish and enjoy my current lifestyle too much to have kids. When I say this to people quite a few look at me as though I've just said I like to cut people's heads off and bury them in the woods. Really, why is it so shocking to be happy not having children??

I am 29 and always get the 'Oo, once you hit 30 the clock will start ticking' lecture but honestly I think, if it was going to, it would have done so already. There is quite a bit of pressure about having children (especially as I'm about to get married) but I think it better to be selfish now and not have children then to cave in and be too selfish to give my children the upbringing they deserve.

I am happy being an Auntie to mine and my OH's niece and 2 nephews - they're great! But I can always give them back ...... :D
 
I never wanted children, then by accident i fell pregnant at 24 sadly my daughter was stillborn, and there were major complication to the point i am now unable to have children.
This is a god send to me personally as i do not like children, i am far too selfish and have my horses and they are my life.
I brought my first horse a month after my daughter, which was the right decision for me i have the life i want and am living the dream i wanted when growing up.
I am in my late 30 and have 3 nieces that i can honestly say i never really had much to do with any of them when they were young they irrirated me immensely, now they are grown up i am happy for them to spend they day at the yard with me, and maybe stay over.
 
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