Have I made a mistake??

Z

zoelouisem

Well-Known Member
Joined
10 August 2010
Messages
1,790
Location
Windsor
Visit site
Basically for the last 2 years had the most fabulous first ridden pony on loan for my now 8 year old daughter. He has been amazing brought her from a very nervous lead rein rider to a far to confident pony clubber doing all sorts on him.
Recently been wondering if she was ready for the next step up but wasn't going to rush into anything but look at a few ponies and see what happened. I was going to keep the loan pony going for a bit so if I got something else that proved unsuitable I still had him and if all was ok would help owner sell the loan pony (when I told her I was ready to move on).
Any got a phone call from the owner saying that ideally she was ready to start selling now although if I really wanted I could keep him on but would have to be till next spring so we didn't have to try and sell at the start of winter quite understandably.
Anyway we reached a decision that it was time my daughter moved on and we sold loan pony which he has in 72 hours the vetting is on Thursday.
In the meantime I viewed a pony which seemed lovely viewed a second time and agreed to take her on a months trial before the loan properly started so we've had her delivered let her settle in ect. And daughter had a not very good ride pony was a bit if a monkey and she ended up been really nervous.

I'm now just so worried I've made the wrong decision I love her loan pony and it's making me really tearfully at the thought of him going and it's all to late!! I should have just let her potter round on him for another year !!!
 
Sorry but yes I think you should have stuck to your original plan of having an overlap between the ponies to help your daughter become accustomed to the 2nd pony.
As it is you will just have to make sure that you take everything in small steps with the new pony, so that she doesn't dent daughter's confidence.
 
Try not to worry. I'm sure it will work out. You made your decision based on good reasons and it is only natural to have doubts. The pony needs time to settle with you and the new surroundings, and your daughter needs time to adjust. Could you arrange for your daughter to have a few lessons on the new pony with a very cheery upbeat instructor? I sometimes think it helps to have someone other than mum doing the cheerleading with a new pony :)

Also arrange some fun things to help her bond with new pony, maybe some sort of diy in hand handy pony or practising plaiting etc?

Could you lunge the pony before she rides to help wear it out (if energy is the problem?)? If you think it might knock her confidence to think he has to e lunged first you could do it when she isn't around.

Don't fret, you made what you believed to be the right decision for your daughter and given time it should come good :)
 
Yer I wish I had but because the owner rang me and wanted to talk about possibly of selling I couldn't really lie and then in a month or 2 time say well actually here's your pony back.
I think maybe I'm just getting tearfully because he's going which is really unlike me. Espeacially as I've worked on dealers yards in the past it kind of hardened me up over the years but this is the first one since I was a kid that has really got to me going!! :-(
 
The decision has been made so dont dwell on it and dont let your daughter know how you are feeling, she needs you to be positive about the new pony. Give it time to settle in, lunge it before she rides and expect her to take a step or two back in her riding while she gets used to the new pony.

Most people forget to allow a step back, thinking a new pony is a step up the ladder but most children benefit from going back for a while, even on to the lead rein for a few rides, she will soon tell you to let her go alone and things will then progress, provided the pony is the right one her confidence will come back, I have seen this many times do not despair:D
 
I'm sure you've made the right choice. By the sounds of it, the new pony has a lot to live up too, & the fact it's been quicker than you thought must be a bit of a shock to you both. She's got all the light evenings to bond with new pony, tomorrows another day.
I think as well, as a mother you automatically try & find a way to blame yourself when something goes wrong for your child, regardless of whether its logical!
 
Just give it time, gently encourage your daughter.
Ponies can be so cheeky in a new home, even the good ones.
It's normal to worry and think what have I done, but if the new pony is going to work, you have to think positive and look forwards and not back.
Your daughter will soon learn to deal with the pony. Lessons will help and time, and a bigger rider to sort the bugger out if need be :D

I've always preffered my daughter on cheeky types, makes brave riders of them in the long run, and they can deal with anything.
 
Its horrible isn't it! We sold my son's second pony in September and I got in a right tearful old state! You just adore them and can't thank them enough, but you know deep down that they will always go on to be adored in their next home - because you just can't help but adore something that looks after your kids so well and safely.. And anyway the decision was largely taken out of your hands when the owner wanted to sell or for you to keep the pony another 12 months..

The transition was never going to be seamless. I think its good for the child to realise that not all ponies are the same and that she will have to learn how to ride this pony differently - tell her this, tell her she may not win as many rosettes at first, or jump as high, but when she gets used to the new pony she will do really well and love him. I think its hard when kids have had really good starter ponies in some ways, as they think all ponies will be as easy and do what they want. Sometimes its a bit of a bump when they realise they're not all like that, but its good for them!

We let my stepson overlap with his first and second ponies, and he used to opt for the first pony rather than push himself at first! Then we swopped his too flighty second pony for a better one, and he never looked back. The first pony got more and more left out, doing less work, and ended up with laminitus. If I could turn back time I would never have overlapped.

Grit your teeth and take your time. She will get there!xx
 
Last edited:
Yer I told her I would lunge before she rode her on Thursday and she was happy with that. She's not riding her tommorow as she's got pc booked in on the first pony and she really wants to take him and I think the new ponies been with us for such a short time that it would be pushing it.
Re the teaching I've always taught her, I'm an instructor anyway so never had the need to get another one in. I'm sure it will pan out and if it does prove unsuitable it is only a trial month. I think the new pony has a hard act to follow as the first pony is a truly amazing one a real first ridden type.
 
Thankyou to all that commented before was having one of those moments think it was the thought of the first pony going and that was getting to me as he really is such a good boy.
Little update we had PC yesterday which she did on old pony as it would be her last one to take and figured it would be silly to take a pony we'd had 24 hours out to PC. Didnt tell instuctor situation of new pony ect as didnt get a chance to chat before, but after she came to me saying that daughter was ready to move up and needed a but more of a challenge as she wasnt really gaining anymore from him, made me feel so much better. We didnt ride new pony yesterday as it was late when we got back and had a tired daughter never a good mix with new pony.
So nice new fresh day today, pony was out last night and this morning so she was nice and chilled, we got her in nice good groom ect. We went to our small back school as main one people are watching other people riding ect, and thought the last thing she needed was an audience. I lunged for 5 mins not for the pony but for daughters mind, she jumped on walk trotted and cantered on the lunge. She then asked to be let off and trotted and a few small canters off the lunge. Daughter wanted to then jump but i said no leave it on a good note theres always another day. So i had a very happy smiley daughter which equals happier feeling mummy!!:D
 
And because you helped me a piccie of the new pony and daughter!:)


5e856df2.jpg
 
My daughter got very nervous when she stepped up a level with her pony,she had a few falls and vowed never to get on the pony again, in the end we took things very slowly and concentrated on some ground work, walking in hand and they did some games on the ground before they rode together again, they are now totally in love with each other and know each other so much better, its made her realise that its not just about riding the pony.
 
Yep deffo got her happy face on, she was very proud after so was grinning all evening. I could also see improvement with postition and legs and hands o this pony as theres a bit more size to her and shes more forward than first pony so daughter is having to be more aware and concentrate more so thats good too. Shes most excited to take her to PC but were away next rally so at least shes got a while to get to grips with her before anything.
I was a little worried she was a bit big as for her as shes 13.2-3ish and shes come of a 12hander but seeing this pic i think i made the right choice at least shes got a bit of growing room so i wont have to go through another pony change in a hurry!!!:eek:;)

Thankyou to all who commented i was been silly really just needed time!!:)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top