Have I made a mistake?

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dallas

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This is ling, sorry. I bought an irish cob from a dealer at the end of January. I told him i wanted a happy hacker. I viewed the horse twice, both times seeing it tied up in a stable, being tacked up, ridden and I rode it also. I had never bought a horse from a dealer but read about all the legal come back it has. When I viewed it I was told it was broken and all his cobs were sold as rda and riding school horses. So I get the horse delivered (bit of an issue with the passport, making me see the dealer in his true light but that's another story!) I had to have it delivered to a nearby yard as the yard it was going to wasn't ready for it yet. I left the horse for a week or so to let her settle in and worked everyday instead of ground work, she seemed to be coming on good, a little bolshy but I was persevering. However whenever I bring her in and tried to tie her she now wouldn't stand and wouldn't constantly pace and paw the ground. Tacking up took ages (id ha her fitted for new saddle) and actually getting on sometimes never happened. Once we were out she was fine. This problem has got continuly worse. Now she is over at the local yard to me. I did give her a week off when she was moved but have been lunging her recently. I tried tacking her up the other day in her stable and couldn't. So instead I just left the saddle on for a while to try to get her used to it which didn't work. Today, I went up to ride and came away in tears, I couldn't even get the tack on her. She paces, paws the ground, swishes her tail, ears back, the lot. When I finally managed to get the saddle on her back and went to bring the girth under she pinned me against the wall (I'm pregnant to make matters easier!) and then looked like she was going to kick out at me. I got upset then and took everything off and put her back out. I don't know what to do. So now i have a horse that wont stand still when tied up (or anytime really!), i cant tack up, get on or even ride. have bad thoughts in my head about contacting the dealer and saying she isn't fit for purpose. She is honestly like a different horse. Or sending her away to get properly backed. I'm having the vet along to check her back again, she does it with the bridle too though. Any advice anyone about what i should / could do? And please go easy, I'm still in tears about it (damn pregnancy hormones!)
 
Firstly, please please don't ride this horse while you're pregnant. It's not worth it.

Sorry you're having problems. How long have you had her? Have you been in touch with the dealers? If so, what was their response?
Also, did you have her vetted?
 
TBH, I think the fact that you are pregnant is probably very relevant here. You will obviously be protecting the baby as your first priority, so will not be as firm with the mare as you probably would have been otherwise - so she may be taking advantage of that.

BUT, it also sounds as though there is a problem which you definitely need professional help top get to the bottom of. Back/tack and teeth checks would be my first action, then look at feed. I'd probably turn her away until all the checks hve been done. If all is well teach her to accept the tack gradually. My mare had been well-mannered in a RS previously but then the next owner used ill-fitting tack and I had to teach her to accept her well-fitting tack all over again. She was a terror for threatening to bite when she heard the stirrups jangling, long before the saddle got ner her back. I took everything off the saddle, put it on her back, attached the girth on the loosest hole and worked from there.
 
Oh crikey! You bought a new horse when you were pregnant - you are brave!

This is really not a good combination, mainly because I expect you are lacking a bit in the bravery department as you are expecting. However, this horse needs to be put in it's place and fast. Moving to a new yard is extremely stressful for a new horse and it should be given a bit of leeway for this but being rude is not on and should be stamped on immediately.

Can you move the horse to a liver yard with assistance until after the baby arrives?
 
Thanks for replying. I've had her since the end of January. I had a 5 stage vetting done and all was fine the vet said. It wasn't my vet that done it though. Tbh, I don't know where I stand re.contacting the dealer. How long do I have to contact him? I am trying to be consistent and firm with her but it doesn't seem to be doing much.
 
So sorry to read of your distress. Please do not put yourself at risk again.

When you feel better, try to work out a plan of action and what order you want to go.

Ask yourself do you want this horse, if not get in touch with dealer and see what you can arrange, I have known dealers swop horses for people when the first does not suit, and it has worked out.

If you want to keep the horse, then do the vet, physio etc. checks and get someone to give her some training rather than risk yourself.
 
Did you have bloods taken at the vetting? Might be worth checking to see if she was doped...otherwise maybe a pain issue?
 
I wasnt pregnant when i bought her, i only found out last month, when id had her 3 weeks or so. There's no livery at all round where I live unfortunately and I don't want to loose my space at this place as its only me and one other girl there. I just wanted a nice quiet happy hacker that wasn't much work.
 
As others have said you are pregnant and not so brave right now, she is young and still settling in, proably not much turn out, all she wants is to get going not be tied up, poor pony, she is probably just misunderstood like so many others. I dont know why you bought a horse whilst you are pregnant will you have time to ride her when the baby is born?
 
I am sorry you are having problems. You and your babies safety are the most important. I would contact the dealer and ask for a refund. They will not want to do this.
I would also pay a qualified professional to come out and asses the horse its tack and how it is kept and get a written report. If you think you need a vet report get it.
If it needs more work and different management the sooner it sorted the better , if you need to go to Trading standards and small cliams the reports will help with the case.
Horses do sometimes have a change in personality when they move yards an mares should be coming into season and they can be witches.
Decide what you want and get it sorted quickly before your bump gets any bigger.
Good luck with the baby.
 
Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Perhaps you should look at moving to a yard with more support, particularly as you are now expecting.
You and your horse would benefit from having an experienced and helpful YO to see you through this sticky phase. Don't struggle on your own, going home in tears (even without hormones :)) is not how its meant to be.
A good yard with a YO on hand to mentor you could turn things around and help you and your horse to enjoy life together.
 
Sounds like she has ulcers to me! Perhaps due to stress of yard move etc.

Cut out any sugar in her feeds, get her onto something like fast fibre, soak her hay and add slippery elm, yee-sac etc to her feeds and perhaps an ulcer supplement like equine america's ulcer guard and see if there is an improvement.
 
honetpot said:
I am sorry you are having problems. You and your babies safety are the most important. I would contact the dealer and ask for a refund. They will not want to do this.
I would also pay a qualified professional to come out and asses the horse its tack and how it is kept and get a written report. If you think you need a vet report get it.
If it needs more work and different management the sooner it sorted the better , if you need to go to Trading standards and small cliams the reports will help with the case.
Horses do sometimes have a change in personality when they move yards an mares should be coming into season and they can be witches.
Decide what you want and get it sorted quickly before your bump gets any bigger.
Good luck with the baby.
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This ^^ so sorry you are having problems at what should be a really happy time.
 
Please don't take what I'm about to say the wrong way, I don't mean it in a horrible way at all. You're in a tricky situation with a new horse testing the boundries and being pregnant.

Irish cobs are actually very intelligent, especially mares. I let a novice deal with my cob for a few weeks and he started to do things because he could get away with them or they got him out of doing things he didn't want to do.

This mare has learned that by fidgeting she doesn't get tacked up and therefore doesn't get ridden. She's also learned that fidgeting at the mounting block means you don't get on.

She sounds young/very unsettled. It might be that she was not taught to tie up and you need to teach her this, hence the initial problems. I personally never give my horses time off to settle in, I like to deal with them as normal from day 1 so a routine is settled into, it could be pain but it could also just be her testing. She might have got away with this behaviour before where she looked menacing and didn't get worked.

The horse is backed, you don't need to send her away for rebacking - you would not have been able to ride her at the trial otherwise.

How old is she?

Edited to say, my boy started lying down when he saw tack, he'd run back into his stable with the rider on top when she got on. It took a few days of confident handling to stop him from doing this.
 
Can you turn her away for the summer and bring her back once the baby is born? Sounds the safest most sensible option for now. When are you due? Congratulations!
 
I have to admit that although my horses are all *nearly* perfect with me handling them, if a novice person were to handle them it would probably take them all of one nanosecond to start taking advantage. You aren't getting anywhere at the moment probably because you are pregnant and are protecting your baby above and beyond, so I'd either turn the horse away until after the baby is born or have it on a yard where it can be ridden regularly.
 
I wonder if it's worth contacting the owner prior to the dealer if the details are in the passport. They may be able to shed some light on her behaviour- could be the got rid of her because of particular problems or they found her to be brilliant (in which case she could just be settling in and trying it on with you). When I first got my boy he was good for a few days and then mucked about (the pacing etc sound familiar, I even had some mini rears whilst tied up) which really worried me and the previous owner said were totally out of character (and I believed her). After a few weeks I realised that I had to get it sorted out or we would never get on. I had his saddle changed, manned up and was much firmer, distracted him whilst tied up (with a haynet, singing, scratching his tickly spots) and generally handled him a lot. It's taken a long time to really bond.
At this stage the baby will be very tiny and very well protected so hopefully is not in too much danger (unless she kicks or something), I'm worried that you're nervousness may be affecting the horses confidence but you have to put your safety first...what to do? I think I'd ask someone really confident with horses to handle her and see if the problems are as bad as they are for you. If they are I'd contact the dealer and ask them to have her back or look to sell her on. I'm sure you'll sort something out so that you can concentrate on what should be one of the happiest and least stressed times of your life x
 
Thanks for all your kind replies, I've been back up to see her and have a think. I don't want to get rid of her. I made a commitment to her, and I want to see it through. I will have her checked over again by the vet just incase. Would it be awful if I turned we away for the summer? I'm not due until October so by the time baby is here it may not be till early next year I get time to really work on her. I know I can't stop start her training, but I know I'm not in the right position just now to fully give her my all in her training.
 
Have you had a good instructor to assess the horse? It may be nothing more than it's taking the mickey and you needing to crack on like you mean business.

What part of the world are you in OP??
 
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Could you find a friendly instructor to do some ground work with you and the horse?
There are so many fun things to do with a horse that don't involve riding and if you feel too vulnerable to tackle ridden issues at the moment yet want to keep her then this could be a plan?
Alternatively, perhaps look for someone confident to rider her in the meantime. I often get students looking for free rides at my yard. Very experienced riders who have had to leave their horses at home and would do pretty much anything to be able to ride :)
Good luck with her!
 
I agree with Undertheweather.
I doubt there is anything wrong with the horse, only the way it is being handled.

Sounds like some 'tough love' is needed. (That does not mean knocking them about either!)
 
What If someone else tacks her up? Can you afford to pay for a trainer to ride her, at least then you can establish whether there is a problem with the horse or whether she is being a cowbag for you. I agree with a previous post, horse can be very clever, and quickly learn what they can get away with and with who!
I have two Irish cob mares, one is an angel, one can be a monster... She will walk all over you if she thinks she can.
Don't put your little bambino at risk, try her with another rider, if no success explore the vet/ teeth/back/ feet etc..
 
How old is she?? And do u bring her in from the field to ride during the day or do u ride of an evening when all the horses are in??

It sounds to me like she is insecure and has separation anxiety probably due to her being young and so many yard moves in such a short amount of time. She is now learning that if she stresses she gets put back out.

Sounds like she needs to settle into a routine and a confident handler to give her confidence and guidance.

If she was mine, personally I would just concentrate on getting her into a routine and ground work for now as she is goin to need to build up trust in you. And not only that I would worry about trying anything more due to being pregnant.

I reckon if u bring her in when all other horses are in and stabled next to her she will be a different horse whilst tacking up. Maybe try it and see what happens, if she is settled then you know it's anxiety
 
"Alternatively, perhaps look for someone confident to rider her in the meantime." - Sounds like a good idea to me.

Or maybe a sharer, who can take over when you get closer to having the baby and a while after.

That way, you can get someone to help and take care of your mare while you have the baby?
 
I'm no expert but I wonder if there is any way of finding out who owned her before the dealer? I wonder if this behaviour is why she ended up there? I agree with other posters though that she does it because she knows she can. My old horse got away with blue murder because I let him, problems only arose when others at the yard wanted him to behave differently and he'd get bolshy because he thought he called the shots!
 
dallas said:
Thanks for all your kind replies, I've been back up to see her and have a think. I don't want to get rid of her. I made a commitment to her, and I want to see it through. I will have her checked over again by the vet just incase. Would it be awful if I turned we away for the summer? I'm not due until October so by the time baby is here it may not be till early next year I get time to really work on her. I know I can't stop start her training, but I know I'm not in the right position just now to fully give her my all in her training.
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Not at all, she's your horse and if you are happy to do this then there is no reason not to do so. Stop-starting isn't as bad as you would think either, I personally think it's a good thing to give them a break.

Only thing would be to keep an eye on her weight - be prepared if she starts putting on weight to manage it so that she doesn't get laminitis.

Good luck with the pregnancy :)
 
How old is she? One of mine went through a similar thing after breaking (granted not to the extreme of your mare) and all it took was a little perseverence, patience and persistance to get him through his 'kevin' stage now hes an angel. It does sound like shes taking the pee but maybe she was doped by the dealer its not uncommon.
As others have said turning her away may be best all round while your pregnant and if nothing elses give you time to bond without the stress of ridden work.
Congrats! :D
 
when I got my horse he did the same wouldn't lead, wouldn't go in his stable wouldn't go out, charged in his stable then charged out, lash out when you tried to mount him etc etc. Had teeth/saddle/physio who sorted a few minor issues but he still continued I was often be in tears of frustration.

One day I thought you are not getting the better of me any more and I took an assertive approach. If he charged into his stable he was made to come out and would have to walk in properly. If he planted then he was lead in a tight circle then walked on. If he tried to kick out at me he was told off reinforced with a smack, he soon got the message.
 
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