Have some Respect!

J

jump?howhigh

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My bestfriend is taking a year out before attending uni, during this time she decided she wanted to get some experience on a yard as an apprentice/working pupil and learn a few more equine skills. (shes volunteered on several yard since she was 8)
well she started attending the interviews/trail days and thats when it all went downhill and her confidence has been crushed due to abusive employers and downgrading/belittling comments. At one yard she had a set of boots through at her because she had put them over a vacant stable door to dry and had previously seeked permission by the 2nd groom.

We all know as equine people that every yard/person has there own way of doing things, those slight differences in methods. Interviews are nerve racking enough, But do we really need to shout/scream, downgrade people because they start off doing it how they were taught. Why can't people just say something like 'At this yard we do this this way rather than that'

I am disgusted by some of the language/comments that have trailed out of supposdely respectable people to her. In most jobs that sort of behaviour by an employer would be classed as bullying. Well now thanks to these experiences she has lost all confidence with horses, doubting her abilities and has decided to move onto something else. Has anybody else had such experiences on a yard?
 
That really is a horrid thing to have happened to your friend. There really is no need to be so rude and ofensive no excuse for their behaviour. I am sorry that she had to go through this, and have her confidence knocked in such a cruel way. As you say different places do things in a different way and the art of being a good manager is to be able to handle people without being so dam rude. Again really sorry that she had to go through such a horrid experience.I see this is your first post so welcome the the mad world off HHO. Look forward to seeing more from you.
 
I have split fights up at previous yards, been sworn and spat at because my horse won the class in which another girl on the yard was on.
Some yards are rough and full of JK candidates!!!

Hence the reason why I moved away from yards to my own place - peace and quiet!
 
littlelegs said:
Lol at jesstickle. Yards are the reason I can swear like a trooper, & hold my own with the best of them.
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Likewise. I know words that would make a sailor blush. Don't work with horses anymore, people are often shocked by what I say when I'm not thinking at work. Luckily they're not easily offended! :o
 
I'm the same, its especially amusing when a visitor to the office uses bad language infront of myself & male colleagues, then apologises to me, as the lads know I'm far worse!
 
Well I bet she won't do that again (re the boots over the stable door).

Welcome to the Real World... All sounds perfectly normal to me. If you can't cope with the heat, get out of the kitchen. The language on stable yards is usually/often shocking.
 
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PennyJ said:
Well I bet she won't do that again (re the boots over the stable door).

Welcome to the Real World... All sounds perfectly normal to me. If you can't cope with the heat, get out of the kitchen. The language on stable yards is usually/often shocking.
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Seriously, the days of throwing stuff at and abusing staff are gone, people are taken to tribunial for much less these days and any self respecting person wouldnt treat another in this way. As for the language, if its a yard where you deal with the public, i wouldnt allow it, the employees are the public face of your yard and some people do object to colourful language and that can lose business.
While i might sound a sanctimonious git, and yes i can outswear anyone :o:o, theres a time and place for it and it isnt in front of clients.
 
What MaryDoll said. I work in (another) famously rude and abusive industry... but even we stop short of throwing things!

These people don't deserve your friend.

That can be a hard thing to have the confidence the believe so early in her career but it is simply true.

Good luck to her in finding a more conducive environment.
 
marydoll said:
I did like the Billy Connolly "new words", for swearing
Gettyfu
Yabassa :D:D, have used them on occassion :o
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Me too! Having spent my impressionable teenage years around Scottish rugby players I soon learned how to swear! Working at yards only compounded the issue ;)
 
Good lord throwing things is rather childish, don't think I'd lose any sleep over not getting a job there!

A lot of industries are known for swearing and stuff, also being aggressive towards each other. I don't care about swearing apart from in front of clients but anything beyond is downright unprofessional, clients or not. Sadly some companies take it too far the other way and you are not allowed a joke or an affectionate nickname here and there.

I wish people remembered common sense and social etiquette these days!
 
I think there's a difference between playful/rough banter and just simply being a douche.

I had something thrown at my head at work, but I knew they weren't being aggressive, so I lobbed something back and we had a good laugh.
In your friends situation, I'd be terribly upset, I think!
 
Behaviour like that went out with the dark ages.. tell your friend there are better jobs out there than putting up with that.. I've done placements at a few yards, and were never treated like that, no bad language or throwing toys out of pram..
 
Im Shocked that some of you think its normal and exceptable behaviour??? remind me never to go to your yards, grooms are hard to come by especially good one, im no shrinking wall flower and have been round some top yards, but never once was anything thrown at me, told off in a manner and swore at yes, but if you know your job then do something wrong you get told off like in any job, but when your learning then you should have things explained to you??? no wonder we are losing new grooms. I have a young student who makes mistakes but she is young and i wouldnt dream of throwing anything at her?
 
I was wearing a polo shirt and had the top two buttons undone. Obviously all you could see was my neck. I was told I was allowed one button undone as "I wasn't working in a brothel" !!!
 
Where people behave like this, your friend is better off out of it. I won't have people behaving badly round my horses as it stresses them out. Yards that have loud arrogant people are not often successful. I like calm efficient professionalism, and so do the horses.
 
I had a similar experience when I first left school at 16, and due to this I have worked out of the industry for the last 6 years.
The yard owner I had heard was a tough one but I did not expect anything like this! I do admit when i was younger i was very easily offended and did not cope well with being spoken to rudely and had a few confidence issues, I won't go into details but it was so horrendous that half way through the day I had broken down in tears and at the abuse I had hurled at me and called my mum to come and get me asap and then the owner was also extremely rude to her!
I also was liveried at a very bossy and belittling yard a few years back... I did not stay long as by then I has learnt how to stand up for myself and had a very big argument with the yard owner when my horse can in from the field cut to shreds! Swearing I can deal with but down right rudeness I do not!!
I now prefer to work out of the industry and to be liveried on very small and friendly yards! I am much happier for it :)
 
Well i did tell her you should of said something, but shes not that sort of person. I told her if the other staff start giving you the '****** of a boss talk' when the boss has gone off then get out of there!
 
'Welcome to the real world'
No regardless of your position shear rudness is not acceptable i work by treat others how you wish to be treated.
As i said she was going for student/apprentice positons to get training and experience. She was offered the learning, 'everydays a school day' sort. They knew she only knew the basics and what horses she had exp with so why did they need to be abusive when she got it wrong? Shes learning! Its not like she nearly killed a horses/put one in danger !
 
My friend used to work on a yard of a husband and wife team. Both of them had different opinions of which way clips on rugs should be done up. One favoured in and one favoured out. So whichever way you did them up you got a rollicking from someone :p :D You've got to love horsey employers! :D
 
A very, very well know National Hunt trainer told me that if I fell off one of his horses I would be the one holding it when it was shot... two days later he threw a saddle at me, swiftly followed by a pitch fork....swiftly followed by my resignation being thrown back at him.
 
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