Have you ever been downgraded by a friend?

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asterid

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Feeling a bit disappointed really.

I have lots of good friends, but 2 years ago a lady joined work and we hit it off becoming best friends. I was there for her when her marriage fell apart and helped her through some tough times. For her birthday this year I made a real effort and spent time and money on her.

She met a new fella at Christmas and she openly has said that she has no interest in forming a relationship with and that he is just 'company'. Since 4-5 months ago, from her stating that I was great and so thankful e.t.c. she never bothers to contact me, come for coffee, spare time etc.

It has made me feel a bit like a spare part. I have plenty of good friends, but a bit disapointing to be downgraded from best friend, to someone she knows.

Stupid pointless post, but just making it sense of it all. Ive made the effort over the last couple of months and no avail, so just getting on with it now knowing I have lost a best friend.

On the plus side, my horse is always there! :))
 
Ah, girls. Dontcha just love 'em? I have a friend who consistently does this to me. Meets someone, dissapears, they break up and she wants to be best buddies until the next one comes along. I just take it with a pinch of salt these days though it used to upset me. She does it to my other very close friend too (we're a group of three basically)

Don't take it personally. You sound like a great friend and like you've done more than anyone could ever expect. She is the one missing out if she thinks a guy is more important. I'm sure she'll see the light eventually.

You can be my friend if you like :)
 
Hmm i sometimes feel like i have been but i guess at the end of the day, my friends have other stuff in their lives to. Relationships, work etc. I sometimes dont see my best friend for months and months due to one thing or another, but then a couple of months ago when i found out my mum had cancer i kind of fell apart and her and her family have really been their for me, and i know i'd do the same for her. Thats what friends are for.
You sound like a really lovely kind person and i'm sure she appreciates you very much but perhaps she is just really trying to make an effort in this new relationship that she has now? spending a lot of time with the new bloke.
Chin up and exactly we always have our horses :)
 
You can be my friend if you like :)[/QUOTE]

:)

Wonderwall - Thanks, I know what you mean.


Anyone got chocolate and wine?
 
Sometimes, when life has moved on and things are looking up, you don't always want reminders of more difficult times. Friends who were a big part of your life at that very point can be one of the things to be shed in the process, particularly if they are aware of your vulnerabilities.

It isn't personal, it is just the way things go.
 
yummy! I love naughty food!

Thanks everyone, Im feeling better, Have known it for a while, but only now just realised it. :)
 
Sounds like 1 of my friends. When she is single I see her lots. When she suddenly disappears I know she has a new bloke and about 3 months later she will actually tell me that she has a new bloke.
 
You must have seen the email that comes around now and then: Friends are there for a reason, a season or life!

The general idea is that people come into your life at different times and for different reasons. Some stay and some pass on through. Only a few will be there at the beginning, the middle and the end.

I have lost two, what I considered, very good and best friends in the last three years. One floated away, is still about, but where we used to speak each day, we don't even email now, let alone speak - nothing happened, it was just the end....
The other mad a mountain out of something smaller than a mole hill and is still up there...and after apologies and talking, she's still there on her mountian and I've got on with life.
On the plus side, I have made a cracking new friend in the last 8 months and we have a blast!
Time moves on, just try and accept that some people are like this, others will always be there when you need them, but they might not be the same ones that were there last time.
 
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