Have you ever had an experience with someone elses Horse that left you feeling guilty

LaurenBay

LaurenBay

Well-Known Member
Joined
15 November 2010
Messages
6,038
Location
Essex
Visit site
Question in title, maybe an accident whilst riding a friends Horse, or looking after a Horse?

I have had 2 that stick out in my mind.

The first was a Horse I used to share. She had seperation anxiety. So when I brought her in to ride, she was always nightmare to turn back out as she couldn't wait to re-join her friends. One day she was worse then usual, we used to have to walk past the field and then to the other side where the gate was. She decided she wasn't going to walk to the gate and instead drug me through some nettles and tried to barge her way in through the fencing. Unfourtantly there was a tree in the way and she had me pinned up agaisn't it. I pushed her back and shouted/growled. She would not budge and continued barging. I slapped her shoulder and still nothing. She was literally knocking the wind out of me and I knew if I didn't act pronto she would break my ribs. So I punched her, just by her face. It worked and she backed off immedietly. I got my breath back and managed to lead her out the ditch and to the gate where I let her go. I felt so guilty. I rung the owners straight away and told them exactly what happened. They were very smpathetic and apologized over and over, they also said that in my situaution they would have done the same thing and they were glad I didn't get too hurt. She never did do it again and I shared her for another 2 years.

The 2nd was another share, he was always a little b****r when it came to catching. I followed him around and around and eventually got near him, he then decided to kick out, which just skimmed my leg. I returned to the yard and got some feed to try again (run out of time to ride, but still wanted to bring in and groom) on the way the owners best mate saw me and asked why I hadn't got him in yet. I told her and showed her the mud on my boot from the kick (which didn't hurt at all!) she offered to walk to the field with me and help me catch him. So off she went following him and finally managed to catch him (with some food bribes) she then beat the crap out of him for about 2 minutes! I was absolutly stunned and by the time I had gone over to her she had stopped. I am ashamed to say I didn't say anything (I was much younger then I am now and was in complete and utter shock) I took the Pony off her and cried silently back to the yard whispering how sorry I was to him! I did tell the owner and she said "oh well I'm sure it was just a little slap so no harm done". I feel guilty as I accepted her help, obviously had I known what she was going to do I wouldv'e said no thanks and did it myself.
 
Yes. In my teens a lady had an overweight pony for her small lr kids on our yard. At her request, I regularly rode & schooled it, & did quite a lot of jumping. Long story short, as a light, but too tall teen I was merrily speeding round fair size courses, days before it foaled. Admittedly not really my fault, but still felt guilty.
A clients new horse on a yard I worked at. As a groom, I cottoned on to the fact it wasn't right in the head, eg no self preservation at all, even when calm. I did try & tell owner & boss, but they dismissed it. Horse ended up having a major accident & being pts. I believe I should have kicked up more of a fuss about what I thought as I knew it better than owner or boss. No doubt pts would have still been the outcome, but it would have been pleasant in the field at the yard & arranged. Not at the side of the road praying for it either to die or for the hunt to hurry up. Not all my fault, but still feel guilty.
Plus when anything goes wrong I always beat myself up with 'what ifs?' no matter how illogical.
 
Not with someone elses horse, no, but with my own. I took on a sharer a few years back who was a BHSAI. She got on well with my mare and when she bought another horse of her own we kept in touch. I had a new more novice sharer for my mare and the BHSAI came to give her lessons (as I was ill with pneumonia and pluerisy at the time). I was nearly back on my feet when I was watching the lesson out of my window. My mare was made to canter repeatedly for around 45 - 60 mins and was dripping from head to toe in sweat. I just kept thinking 'she MUST know what she's doing' and even though I was uncomfortable with it, I did not go out and put a stop to it. It is my biggest ever regret with any horse. It brings me close to tears even thinking of it now, as I let my mare down. She became ill shortly after that, with a lung infection. But before that I decided to stop having a sharer for her. Sadly, she had just started to recover when she had a devastating accident in the field which ended her ridden career. She still coughs on exertion. I am racked with guilt, even though she is a happy little horse, and still the love of my life.
 
When I was Sixteen in my first job on a yard I was working in a hunter livery yard the second day I was there I rode for the first time I was very idealisic and quite my little pony at this stage I had badgered and badgered my parents until they let me leave school I think they thought a winter would cure me of the horse thing but any way,
I on my row of boxes there was this lovely old clydie cross he belonged to a man in his late seventies and had been bred on his estate the owner was A real gent one of those lovely men who had seen two wars and he was just fantastic. So I am riding along sitting up doing my best to impress and we walk down a hill the horse felt funny to me then we went down another same feeling so I mentained it to the YO and she watched him and agreed he did not look quite right .
The next day the owner came and rode out on his own with the YO the other grooms said this was odd in the afternoon the vet came .
The next morning the owner arrived I was mucking out he chatted to the horse and then kissed his forehead as he came out the box there where tears in his eyes the YO came and said I'll take him now and led him away I was just thinking what's going on when I heard the bang.
The others girls bullied me for a while aying look what happens you rode the horse once I was young and soft I felt awful for ages no one explained to me what was going on .
Months later I was hacking out alone when the YO said something that allowed me to say how upset and confused I was at the time she was horrified and apologised she had been worrying about the owner who never sat on a horse again and completly forgot that speaking to me might have been kind she had however told the head girl ( chief bully) who had decided not to tell me.
Still makes me sad thinking about now.
 
Yes - but again with my own. I had brought on my mare (a M&M blue and grey) and had agreed after 2 years to sell her to a lovely young girl so I could upgrade and compete. They were coming on Sunday. I decided to have a last ride on Saturday, which was lovely. I got off, went to open the school gate and let go of the reins (she was so quiet, I thought she would just stand like she usually did, albeit I didn't normally let go). On opening the gate, she barged past me and slid down a concrete ramp, tearing a shoulder muscle and laming herself. The sale fell through of course. I had her for another year during which she was mostly lame, costing my parents a fortune, and me being unable to ride. When I sold her as a brood mare, the cost covered the vets fees. I quit riding from sheer misery, not least because when I'd got her, she wasn't what I wanted (I wanted a light, bouncy gelding) and we never bonded properly.

I have carried the guilt of this for 20 years and have only recently confessed the truth of what happened to my husband (who I've been with for 13 years). Everyone else knows though, it's not a secret! For years, I wouldn't ride anyone else's horse for fear that I would lame it. Even now, it's why I won't have lessons/be a sharer, and am trying to buy my own chap, with a fervent promise/hope to do better this time. Guess guilt can run very deep.
 
Thankyou op, same goes for you. Logically, I know whatever I had said may still have been ignored but I still think 'what if'. To some extent I did know it was an accident waiting to happen, but didn't dream it would be so soon or horrific.
 
about 2 years ago I was a volunteer at my local RDA and there was this horse who was extremely strong. I was 14 and very shy so on my 3rd day there I got asked to lead this horse while the disabled rider rode. Me being my little shy self obviously agreed even though I knew I couldnt hold him. While the rider was mounting I was doing my best to hold the horse but I was too weak so the horse shot off from the mounting block with me dragging behind and the rider half on/half off crying her eyes out. even though no body was hurt I was in tears because I felt so guilty!! the rider was so scared and cried for another 20 mins. I called my mum to come and pick me up ahahah! dosent sound that bad but I literally felt like I had killed somebody!
 
I have, once, with Benson. he was known as the grandad of the yard, not much bothered him, or so we thought.One day, not too sure how it happened, but he got in with the mares in the field. he chased and chased this one mare around, bit her down her back, and really put her through it. I wasnt there, so i didnt see it, but its the one time I have heard my YO say a horse had frightened her. I was devasted, and couldnt stop apologising to the mares owner.

The other time was with Charlie. we were told he was fine in mixed turnout, but we still had him in with the geldings. Got a call one day to say he had jumped out of 2 fields into the mares, and was causing mahem. When I got there, Charlie was standing there eating the grass, in the mares field. he was a bit nervy being caught, but each time the mare went near him, he chased her away.
mares owner turned up just as we had caught them and were bringing in. I said to her that they both looked fine, no outward injuries, she told me she didnt care if Charlie was hurt or not, as her mare was worth much more than he was, so he didnt matter. I am afraid after that comment, I didnt apologise for what had happened.
 
Yes, I was about 16 and looking after my Aunts horses while she was on holiday. My sister and I decided to ride in the paddock rather than go for a hack, which wasn't unusual practice in the summer. There were some poles and tyres in the paddock so I put up a small jump for my sister (less than 1ft). She jumped it and knocked it down. Unfortunately the paddock was on a slight hill, one tyre tipped upright, rolled, bounced, gathered momentum, ran through the electric fence straight towards the horse in the next paddock, spooked him, he ran through the electric fence, slipped and cut himself. It wasn't a vet job but it wasn't nice either. The horse was fine after about a week or so. My Mum gave me a hard time over it, however it was a freak accident, we weren't being irresponsible, at the time I thought staying in the paddock was the safe option but I still feel guilty about it years later :(. Moral of the story never ever use tyres (or anything light with potential to roll) as cavaletti blocks. Incidently partly because of it I am now so safety conscious the current owner I share with laughs at me that I am an 'old woman'. :rolleyes:
 
yes - i worked on a livery yard (i was only 16 at the time) and i arrived at the yard at 6:30 to feed then change rugs and turn out - 34 horses to feed, 23 rug changes and 29 turnouts. i went around the assisted diys first dumping the feeds over the doors and then went up to the 5 days and 7 day liveries and fed and changed their rugs and began turning the pairs out. one of the assisted diy's was turning out her horse and asked if i could turn out her horses field buddy and i was like yeah sure he'd been fed just needed chucking out in the field. i was putting his head collar standing on his left side and as i went to step away to open the door he turned his head so the right side was facing me and i was absolutly horrified to see his eyelid was hanging off and i hadnt noticed when i was feeding them earlier. i couldnt get hold of the owners or any of their family members they didnt have their vet name or number written down so i didnt know who to call so i just called the vet that most people on the yard used. the vet was on the way when the owner finally rang me back saying that she would be about an hour as she needed to have a shower quickly and i was like well i have phoned liphook and they are on their way. the owner then proceeded to scream down the phone at me about the fact that liphook wasnt their vets and they wernt made of money and all this... she then proceeded to call me useless and that she no longer wanted me to deal with her horse and was told to put the horse back in the stable and she would be down in an hour to deal with him...i couldnt leave him like that so i called another lady on the yard who the owner of the horse liked and asked if she were able to sort things out for the horse as i had been told not to touch him,i cancelled the vet and waited for the owners friend to come. to say i felt guilty was an understatement, i should have noticed his face when feeding, and then to be told that i was useless for calling a vet to deal with him was a hard blow too. the owners didnt talk to me again and i was no longer allowed to feed, turnout or do anything to that horse as i may do "something silly" again :( i left the yard and my job and went to a yard with me and one other person that way i didnt have to deal with anyone elses horses!!
 
Yes. I was riding a very good friends lovely Connie. He was her first horse and a total darling except for a sneaky buck when over excited! She went on holiday and my OH and I house, dog and horse -sat for her. The second evening I found him dead in the field.
Her neighbor helped me make all the arrangements to have him buried on her land, as we knew this was what she would have wanted, and We decided not to tell her until she came back as there was nothing she could have done and I didn't want to ruin her special family holiday.
The vet told me there was nothing I could have done if I had been there earlier, there were no signs of a struggle. It seemed he had simply dropped dead. Either a heart attack or a brain tumor. He was grey and had a couple o sarcoids and had always had a lump on his head.
To this day I feel guilty about it happening on my watch and hoping that I handled everything the right way. It took us about 8 yrs to sit down and really talk about it. He was such a special horse to both of us.
 
StormyMoments said:
yes - i worked on a livery yard (i was only 16 at the time) and i arrived at the yard at 6:30 to feed then change rugs and turn out - 34 horses to feed, 23 rug changes and 29 turnouts. i went around the assisted diys first dumping the feeds over the doors and then went up to the 5 days and 7 day liveries and fed and changed their rugs and began turning the pairs out. one of the assisted diy's was turning out her horse and asked if i could turn out her horses field buddy and i was like yeah sure he'd been fed just needed chucking out in the field. i was putting his head collar standing on his left side and as i went to step away to open the door he turned his head so the right side was facing me and i was absolutly horrified to see his eyelid was hanging off and i hadnt noticed when i was feeding them earlier. i couldnt get hold of the owners or any of their family members they didnt have their vet name or number written down so i didnt know who to call so i just called the vet that most people on the yard used. the vet was on the way when the owner finally rang me back saying that she would be about an hour as she needed to have a shower quickly and i was like well i have phoned liphook and they are on their way. the owner then proceeded to scream down the phone at me about the fact that liphook wasnt their vets and they wernt made of money and all this... she then proceeded to call me useless and that she no longer wanted me to deal with her horse and was told to put the horse back in the stable and she would be down in an hour to deal with him...i couldnt leave him like that so i called another lady on the yard who the owner of the horse liked and asked if she were able to sort things out for the horse as i had been told not to touch him,i cancelled the vet and waited for the owners friend to come. to say i felt guilty was an understatement, i should have noticed his face when feeding, and then to be told that i was useless for calling a vet to deal with him was a hard blow too. the owners didnt talk to me again and i was no longer allowed to feed, turnout or do anything to that horse as i may do "something silly" again :( i left the yard and my job and went to a yard with me and one other person that way i didnt have to deal with anyone elses horses!!
Click to expand...

I wouldv'e been happy if thats how my Horse was dealt with. I would call the vets myself and its the owners problem she didn't give anyone her vets details. Fancy being on a big yard and not having a note up!
 
harvgj19 said:
Yes. I was riding a very good friends lovely Connie. He was her first horse and a total darling except for a sneaky buck when over excited! She went on holiday and my OH and I house, dog and horse -sat for her. The second evening I found him dead in the field.
Her neighbor helped me make all the arrangements to have him buried on her land, as we knew this was what she would have wanted, and We decided not to tell her until she came back as there was nothing she could have done and I didn't want to ruin her special family holiday.
The vet told me there was nothing I could have done if I had been there earlier, there were no signs of a struggle. It seemed he had simply dropped dead. Either a heart attack or a brain tumor. He was grey and had a couple o sarcoids and had always had a lump on his head.
To this day I feel guilty about it happening on my watch and hoping that I handled everything the right way. It took us about 8 yrs to sit down and really talk about it. He was such a special horse to both of us.
Click to expand...

That must have been very hard :( very sorry you had to deal with all of that.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top