Have you given up horses and regretted it? What did you do with your spare time?

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sz90168

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I am seriously debating with giving up horses for the first time in my life. I had a nice Connemara that I sold last September within 2 days of being on the market. It then took two months to find his replacement after two failed vettings and I ended up buying a lovely rising 5 year old gelding that is bred for show jumping which is what I want to do. Since I have bought him I have gone back to full time work and now also have a dog and I am just finding it all such a struggle and I am not really enjoying it. My gelding is lovely and has not really put a foot wrong but I am just finding him such a tie and big financial drain. I am also only on assisted DIY and part livery is not really an option as there is a lack of nice yards with all year turnout in the area.

I am just worried if I sell him that I will really regret it and I will not know what to do with my spare time as I always had horses in my life. I have started a bit of running and dog agility so I suppose I could focus more on that but my friends are saying that I should keep my horse for the summer at least to see if my horsey mojo returns. What would you do in my shoes? Any advice and opinions would be much appreciated.
 
I'm another saying wait till summer. But I will say I gave up owning 5 years ago when my mare was PTS and don't regret it. Life just got complicated with work, mother with health issues etc. I'm still involved via social media e.g. and I'm not saying never would own again but for now I have no regrets. Sometimes we just eyed a break and sounds like you have lots to focus on. Xx
 
D66 said:
Keep the horse until the summer, if you still feel the same way it will be easier to sell anyway.
Everyone feels like this in February.
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This, now is not a great time of year to be horsey, I often find myself pondering what life would be like without my lot when I'm freezing cold, rushing around, have yet another vet bill/feed bill/fencing repair etc to pay for....

But once the weather picks up I remember why I love having my horsey and horsey lifestyle so much. It may be that it's time for a change but bearing in mind we are only a couple of months from spring why not sit it out and see how it goes.

Another option if horse is suitable is look for a sharer to lighten the load and help with the finances whilst you make you mind up, may help you see how you would manage being a bit less tied and having more time on your hands
 
As painful as horse ownership gets at this time of year I'd be lost without. I work away occasionally, and whilst yes it's a slightly skewed opinion as I'm away from home too, I have ALL this time in the evenings with nothing to fill it, time revolves around eating dinner and waiting for bedtime.

See how you feel in Spring/Summer, if you're still not enjoying it when it's 'easy' you know it's time, and it will be easier to sell.
 
Part loaner or sharer - for a set period so the sharer/loaner doesn't feel like they are getting a crap deal by having to do all the winter work for you to pop back up in the summer and retrieve your horse. I'd say look for a sharer 2-3 days a week, 6 months to start with, your gelding sounds like the kind of horse that'll be quite popular as a share and you can recoup some of his cost by asking the sharer to contribute, and you could also find one who'll do care on the days they ride to free up some time. If you can support the sharer competing, great - you can go along as the owner and enjoy watching!

If you don't ride on 'your' days, it's fine - give yourself a break, I have 16yo me in my ear all the time telling me to be bloody grateful and ride constantly and she takes some shutting up, but I am happier when I ignore her! It is supposed to be fun. I think your real feelings on the subject will become clearer in the next few months so this will be a good interim option. Good luck!
 
I too am giving up and my current horse will be my last. So I will watch this thread with interest as I too have no idea what I will do with my time when I no longer have horses in my life.
 
I volunteer at a horse sanctuary it easily takes up as much time as having a horse and it is extremely rewarding. There are loads of different jobs that need doing, not just yard work.
 
Keep your horse until the summer! On Sunday, after four days of snow, ice, wind etc I was so depressed, decided I was too old, at 72, to do any thing any more and contemplated giving up the ride I have on a wonderful old ex eventer/hunter just so I would have enough energy to do my own ponies. My step daughter told me to wait until Spring at least. Sure enough, on Monday morning, forecast was for sunshine, I mucked out, rode the pony and then went and rode the big horse in the sunshine!! Winter weather gets us all down and shortens the days so we feel we don't have enough time, the Spring will re energise you.

p.s. if you do give up, go and volunteer at your local RDA centre.
 
I spent most of my 20s and 30s without a horse and managed to get lots of riding in as I was happy to ride out for nothing. I got to exercise some lovely horses that I would never have been able to own myself. Mostly it was for people who didn't have time to ride their own or just didn't like the hacking aspect of keeping their horses fit. I suppose the point I am making is that not owning a horse doesn't have to mean the end of riding!
 
I gave up as a teen. Didn't regret it.

It would be different now I think; teaching, competing, training etc. I take it far more seriously now than I ever did.
 
I've been umming and ahhing about it for a while as well OP and February does not help and my horses get turned away and roughed off so I cant imagine how bad it is for people still 'doing' their horses! Im 41 this year, rode as a kid, gave up late teens and came back to it 8 years ago. I now have two horses i adore and live in a barn conversion with stables and land in a really horsey area. Everything is abut the horses but recently I've been thinking abut holidays, career progression (ok not really but it sounds grown up!) and the nicer things in life. Im sick of being skint and I do find them such a tie (and they live out 24/7 so arent high maintenance by a long shot!) but, I dont know ... something in me just thinks maybe there is more to life than having horses!

Come summer though I will likely change my mind but at the moment I'm tentatively looking at bringing them back into work in spring, getting them fit, out and about (both cracking allrounders 12 and 8) and either selling, rehoming or long term loaning/ LWVTB!
 
I fantasise about all the time and money I'd have without horses! I spend approx £650 a month and that's with just one. I could slash my costs a substantial amount if I found a field somewhere but I only enjoy horses when I have the proper facilities. I rented a field once with nothing and it was the absolute pits. I work long hours and have a half hour drive to the yard so floodlights are essential if I want to ride during the week.

I've given up a few times here and there and never regretted it. If something happened to my current horse who I adore, I don't think I'd buy another one for a while. I'd eat out far more often, splurge on pilates classes and get myself some decent clothes!
 
I had to have mine PTS in October, and whilst I still have my retired girl, she's checked on numerous times a day so the time she takes from me is limited. I am able to ride a lovely ex-eventer as and when I please, and whilst my BD registration was still in place, took him out to do a few Prelims. That said, it is in no way the same for me as having my own, and I lack the motivation to ride him sometimes even though that is literally all I do (he's sometimes even tacked up for me!)
Mine wasn't a conscious decision, in fact it was rather out of my hands, but I made the choice not to get another for the foreseeable future. I can focus on myself for a bit and have a bit of a life that I have missed out on in my early twenties, without it being so much of a struggle with my time and money. I'm planning to focus on my career, save up and move out, maybe get away on holiday! At the moment I don't even miss it as I thought I would, I rather miss my horse, but not the commitment.
Sometimes I'm envious of friends who are all working towards something, training, competing, being selected for various teams etc. but I try not to dwell on it too much and focus on other things, or just support them and tag along.
 
i have given up and wish i hadnt, last winter was really difficult for me physically and i waited till june to make my mind up to give up my loan horse. i know it was the right thing as i have many physical problems and as i am an oldie i know it wont get better. if i could afford to pay to get the heavy work done i would have another horse but unless my lottery come up i will have to stay as i am. i walk my dogs for longer and have decided to get a greenhouse in the spring and will spend my extra time on the garden and also intend to start swimming again to keep the pounds off. if i was you i would wait till the weather improves before making any life changing decisions.
 
sz90168 said:
I am seriously debating with giving up horses for the first time in my life. I had a nice Connemara that I sold last September within 2 days of being on the market. It then took two months to find his replacement after two failed vettings and I ended up buying a lovely rising 5 year old gelding that is bred for show jumping which is what I want to do. Since I have bought him I have gone back to full time work and now also have a dog and I am just finding it all such a struggle and I am not really enjoying it. My gelding is lovely and has not really put a foot wrong but I am just finding him such a tie and big financial drain. I am also only on assisted DIY and part livery is not really an option as there is a lack of nice yards with all year turnout in the area.

I am just worried if I sell him that I will really regret it and I will not know what to do with my spare time as I always had horses in my life. I have started a bit of running and dog agility so I suppose I could focus more on that but my friends are saying that I should keep my horse for the summer at least to see if my horsey mojo returns. What would you do in my shoes? Any advice and opinions would be much appreciated.
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Gave up horses, took up Gundogs!! I haven't regretted it, I don't miss the bitching that came with horses and dogs are cheaper too!!
 
I am old, retired and financially secure so am in a different situation to you but when bisto was PTS last year I suddenly realised how much my life revolved around him. My diary wasn't exactly empty but it had some major holes. I knew straight away that I had to have another horse asap. My daughter, on the hand, rode from a 6 year old until she was nearly 19. She was out competing most weekends all through the year but when she went to uni, we sold her horse and she hasn't ridden since (except for test driving mine occasionally) She doesn't miss it one bit but says she loved every minute of it at the time. I'd wait until the better weather and make a decision then, even I haven't felt much like riding much this last week or two. Or, get a sharer for a while to take some of the pressure off you both time wise and financially. Good luck with whatever you decide, there is a life after horses after all and you can always come back to it.
 
I have just given up and I am pretty down.

It's not just the gaps in the diary, or still grieving for my mare: it's about missing that sense of progress, technically and in building the relationship with my horse.

But I have had five years of bloody awful luck, it was making me miserable and costing a fortune and the bad luck was relentless.

I am travelling more, taking up gardening, and trying new sports and hobbies. I am trying to find somewhere to have decent riding lessons: not easy nearby. I have a new job, but I expect I will think about a share at some point. I swore when I bought my last that if it went tits up that would be me done with ownership, short of a lottery win.

There is a whole world of other things out there and some of them are bringing me a huge amount of joy. I will keep trying new things, and making new friends, and ride as much as I can.
 
I will be giving up when anything happens to my current horse.

Half of it is I've previously avoided studying the horse costs too closely but had to add them up recently and it was quite shocking, it is partly linked to the lack of enjoyment as its currently stopping me having enough for a house deposit.

It's also made worse when people just say why don't you get rid of the horse. Well no hes 21 with issues, I'm not getting rid of him I just wouldn't get another would you get rid of your dog?!

I'm at the point in my life where right now I'm wanting other things more, I want a mortgage and to eventually have children. Funnily I always said I'll never have children and have lots of horses instead!!
Hindsight is a wonderful thing and I'd have perhaps done the mortgage first then got one later on in life but at the time the horse was the dream!

I'd probably still ride eg have a share one day a week (though I'd struggle with the lack of management control having your own brings) or I'd treat myself to new horsey things to try eg western/ schoolmaster lessons etc.

But most of my focus would go on "life " eg saving etc. I occasionally go watch the football I'd possibly be able to do a couple more of those trips.

I'd have to go to the gym more as the horse is the main exercise I do!

If I won the lottery I'd buy a house with stabling and have a few select liveries.
 
I had a nasty riding accident, said Id never get on the horse again so found her a new home, gave my stable up as the consultant said I couldnt work, ride etc for 3 mths. I found it hard at first, felt like I had too much time on my hands but within a few weeks I quite liked not getting up at the crack of dawn, had no stress or worry and went on a couple of holidays. It was great not rushing back from wherever to see to the horse, there were no yard dramas and tbh I didnt miss it BUT when I was fit again I started to miss it. I missed my friends and I felt a bit of a failure, like I was admitting I was getting old (I am lol) and found myself looking at horse ads. A friend offered me her horse 3 days a week but for me its all or nothing so I bought myself a youngster. Do I ever regret it? Yes sometimes I do, shes lovely, we are riding now but I do think the fun has gone out of the horsey life, everythings so serious, there always seems to be a drama, something going wrong and they are just so tying.
I seriously think she will be my last horse, Im on a different yard now, I feel my horse has never truely settled, which doesnt help the way I feel and I do miss my old friends and the fun/chats we had.
 
If you have started agility you will find this can easily replace horses if you enjoy it - it can fill as much time as you allow it and there are regular weekend shows where you will find a great crowd of friendly people!
 
I’m reading everyone’s replies with interest. Current horse is very broken and looking unlikely to return to work.

I’m gearing up for bad news at the next vet check in 3 weeks. The Horsebox is being sold as he won’t be out competing again and I won’t be getting another horse to do things with in the near future.

I can’t afford another while Ed has a retirement and when he goes I need an emotional and financial break from it all. It feels like relentless stress, worry and financial strain.

I absolutely love having a horse, but I definitely need a break from the bad luck!
 
I gave up - still own legs in various TB broodmares but no longer ride. I've ended up with a team of gundogs and still have no spare time :rolleyes::)
 
I struggle to find joy from the horses, especially as I also have two young children. But I’ve had mine for years and they are a bit like pets and part of the family, so I could not get rid of either of them. I was tempted to loan out my mare but she is out of work due to my recent pregnancy and think people would be put off my her age of 16. Plus she can be a bit of a mare if you don’t handle her right. Lost my pony in December after a battle with liver disease. He was my future plan as only 7, so that really hurt.

I’m leaving my horses with a friend (paid!) while we go abroad with husbands work. Will be a real test
 
Please please please do not give up. I made that mistake 5 years ago when I started facing some health complications, it was one of the biggest regrets I've ever made. Find your passion that made you fall in love with horses again, ask yourself, what made me love doing this in the first place? If it's too regimented shake it up, go for a gallop do something you haven't done since you were a kid. Put some barrels out and try sees if you can race your horse around them, he'll enjoy it as much as you do.

Just please don't give. It's a tough lifestyle at times but find your reason for doing it and it will reward you every time you see you horse.
 
I literally posted this yesterday.

I've decided to battle on and see how I feel in the summer. I know I will really regret it if I jack it in but at the same time, I dream of the glorious beach holidays and nice cars I could be driving! :p
 
Thank you for all your advice and stories. Part loaning is not an option as he is a nice horse but can have typical baby Warmblood moments sometimes and my experience with finding decent part loaners has been very negative. I will keep him until the summer and then re-evaluate the situation, if I am still not enjoying it then then I will sell up which is frustrating in a way as I finally have a nice horse and my own transport.
 
I have considered it, life’s been really tough with my gang of geriatrics and awful luck it was all quite depressing. However I’ve just taken on a 8 yr old- who will be my last horse! (Honestly)
I did give up for years when my daughter was born, more to money and time than anything else. I suppose I had her to occupy me but I can’t imagine what on earth I’d do now!
 
timbobs said:
I’m reading everyone’s replies with interest. Current horse is very broken and looking unlikely to return to work.

I’m gearing up for bad news at the next vet check in 3 weeks. The Horsebox is being sold as he won’t be out competing again and I won’t be getting another horse to do things with in the near future.

I can’t afford another while Ed has a retirement and when he goes I need an emotional and financial break from it all. It feels like relentless stress, worry and financial strain.

I absolutely love having a horse, but I definitely need a break from the bad luck!
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Hi,

I am in the same situation you were in Feb last year - I am just curious as to how it worked out. Did you leave horses altogether or did you miss it too much and get back into it after a break? My horse is 28 and going downhill with various ailments, i'm keeping him comfortable until Sept when I think we will call it a day.

Any advice or experience you can send would be really appreciated

thanks
 
TuckerTiff said:
Hi,

I am in the same situation you were in Feb last year - I am just curious as to how it worked out. Did you leave horses altogether or did you miss it too much and get back into it after a break? My horse is 28 and going downhill with various ailments, i'm keeping him comfortable until Sept when I think we will call it a day.

Any advice or experience you can send would be really appreciated

thanks
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I'm sorry to hear about your horse TuckerTiff, but 28 years old- you're definitely doing something right!

I had a few months break and then started loaning/sharing a horse. I'm in a very lucky situation that I'm the only person to ride/do anything with her but without all the financial stress of owning.

I definitely needed a bit of time off, although I did ride other people's for them to keep my hand in.
 
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