Having a bad day :(

J

jordanross

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Hi guys,
Im really feeling down recently and i cant even beleive im saying this but sometimes i wish i didnt have daphi. its very hard work and dont get much reward back for my hard work. ( some days she is hard work and i cant even be bothered to try and tack her up) I have this stupid issue with getting her bridle on ( yeah i know stupid
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How easy are horses to sell? especially ones with problems.
 
We all have shi*e days, you know you dont wanna sell her really (unless you are 110% sure she is and never will be the horse for you)....... chin up chicken
 
Well you bought her, so someone else will too
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Is there no way you can get a bit of help as you are obviously struggling on your own..... Its hard at the best of times, to be on your own just amplifies the problems
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Try a different approach.

Is it possible you could try keeping her on a yard somewhere where there is sensitive experienced support for you? It seems to me that you really want to do the best for her but are being hampered by a real lack of knowledge and experience.

There is no shame in asking for help, even if it means going on to some kind of supported livery for a while - and you can be learning at the same time. In fact recognising that you are struggling is insightful and shows that you know you need to learn more

After a year or so you would then have the confidence to deal with these issues
 
I know. i dont even know why i posted this. i just keep thinking everythings going to be alright and then days like today when im just feeling rundown i think what have i got involved in.
 
we all have rubbish days, they just make the good days seem even better
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What does she do when you try to put her bridle on?

Can you take a step back, do some easy, fun stuff with her on the ground to build up your bond and just enjoy yourself?
 
I felt like killing my horse the other day - took my spookproof boy who loves hunting/cross country etc for a ride around a park the other day and EVERY bloody cross country jump was a horse eating monster!
The day after we had cuddles and made up, everyone has down days, don't make any rash decisions.
As for the bridle issue, is it a bridle or bit issue, i.e. will she accept the bit but not the bridle eg not let you put it over her ears or just not take the bit?
 
you know so many people on here have said to me.... Jordan go get yourself on a livery yard to get some help and experiance. I think maybe i should of listened to them in the first place. isnt it realy expensive though? can you give me some rough ideas of what it costs then?
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The BHS do horse ownership courses - perhaps that will be of some use?

As for livery it depends where you are and what you want - I pay £20 per week for grass livery and then an extra £10 per week for part livery - they look after him for me during the week as I can't get up there every day.
 
as far as the bridle issues go i think its just me being a donkey to be honest not her! when brighteyes and her son came over they tacked her up and it took them literally 5 mins! i can struggle and become all fingers and thumbs and can take me 20 mins easily just to fit the bridle. she seems to know im not quite sure how to do it. so she plays up even more. like i said to brighteyes, sometimes after i have managed to get her fully tacked up i dont feel like riding cos im tired of the fight ive just had tacking her up lol
 
My boy can be a bit funny taking the bit and so I put a mint on my hand underneath it - it gives him a possitive association with accepting the bit and saves a whole lot of time.
 
and to be fair to daphi it isnt her over all its me! she is very well behaved she isnt difficult. its just me being a nummy!
 
Most horses will take the mickey if they sense that you are not confident. Perhaps a bit of experience handling someone's old pony or similar might help? You'll find that if you approach her with the feeling that 'putting this bridle on is no big deal' she won't even try to resist...
 
Livery yards are fantastic- I would never have got through all my problems without keeping my horse at one
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With regards to how much it costs.. well I am no expert but I think it depends on what part of the country you live in. It also depends on what facilities you want and how smart the yard is etc
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It wouldn't have to be a permanent thing either- you could go to a livery yard for 6 months to 'get you started' as it were and then move her back!
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Chin up though- we all have bad days. Just do what you think is best
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Oh no!!! We all have bad days!!!
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Unfortunately, horses aren't machines, so sometimes we have to work twice as hard to get the fantastic rewards they give us.

If it's any consolation, it took me six months to get a bridle on my mare!! Not because I'm inexperienced but because she had been badly treated and beaten around the head!!
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So, I sat in her stable at the back and read a book, rattling the bridle and talking quietly to her. Then gradually introduced it to her, slowly, slowly tacked her up...no shouting and/or frustration, and left myself lots of time to do it.

Now, she is brilliant, not happy with people she doesn't know around her face, but excellent to tack up.
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So, take a deep breath, take it slowly, and stop if Daphi is really getting distraught about it.

I also agree BTW that you might find it easier, and better if you went somewhere for a short time with Daphi, just to learn a little bit more and boost your confidence.
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Good luck, and keep letting us know how you are getting on!!

Remember "rome wasn't built in a day!"
 
Look, you have done so well already - give yourself a pat on the back.

Livery yards are great places to learn what to do and learn definitely not what to do, also it would give you some company. Today for example you are stressed that you don't want the battle with the bridle - perhaps if someone was with you to help you, you'd find it easier and not so soul destroying!

I'm in Cambridge and you can get DIY livery from £20 per week up to what I pay and that is £50 per week. Some have better facilities than others and add in haylage etc. Some are just very basic. It might be worth investigating some and looking around them and checking off the prices - remember it doesn't have to be permanent and if you hate it you can always go home!!

Chin up!!
 
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as far as the bridle issues go i think its just me being a donkey to be honest not her! when brighteyes and her son came over they tacked her up and it took them literally 5 mins! i can struggle and become all fingers and thumbs and can take me 20 mins easily just to fit the bridle. she seems to know im not quite sure how to do it. so she plays up even more. like i said to brighteyes, sometimes after i have managed to get her fully tacked up i dont feel like riding cos im tired of the fight ive just had tacking her up lol

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well you'll get there with that...we've all been there with having to learn how to do these things, I used to struggle with putting a bridle on as a first time horse owner. You just need a bit of regular support on hand I think, someone who is willing to help you and show you how to make these tasks easier, which is where being on a friendly, welcoming livery yard can be fantastic.
 
I just wanna be able to chuck that saddle and bridle on like a pro! god that alone would make life alot easier! infact brighteyes offered me a visit over to her place so i think thats something i could do. maybe see how her horses are and maybe.... she might even let me tack on of her horses up LOL! Im going to txt mother hen
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she always knows what to do!
 
I used to be terrible at tacking up, in fact it was rather shameful
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Even now, sometimes if I'm having a bad day or feel its not quite right, I'll even ask my friend to check my saddle is in right position etc

There is no shame in asking for help or if you have a bad day. We all get them. Horses (and dogs
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) were sent to test us
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You'll get there, don't worry
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there is a livery just down the road ( i wasnt sure if it was or not but it is)

I dont even know what to say. its all very alien too me.

I buy my own horse feeds and straw hay etc. does it not work like that then? will they supply it for me or what? ideally for me if they supplied the things i needed that also would cut out alot of my daily chours ( not that im complaining too much about that)

I think it might be worth me going asking and explaining myself to this livery yard down the road. and see what the score is. I dont need to make any decisions today.

I think most of you know. Im not over keen on the idea of a livery yard. probably because i think its a waste of money considering i have a more than ample stable and feild here. but it really is only the experiance im after!


I desperatley need to make some horsey freinds around here. if i did that im sure they,d give me a lift. after all its only advice i need and showing what to do with certain things. it would be cracking then!
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that bridle thing does my head in! lol
 
Go along and just explain your situation.
As it is only just along the road, the friends you make down there will be close enough to come along and hack out with you still.
It depends on the yard if they provide bedding or not - some refuse, some insist and some are open to either.
 
gina LOL dogs dont tell me! ha ha

I have a 3 year old chihuahua and a 6 year old bishoen frise.......they have attitude the pair of them!


sorry guys i know im a pain in the *ss i think im just recovering from having a freinds dog for two weeks as well he was a complete nightmare! lucky he went home yesterday and my partner has taken my two dogs to his house in the lakes. so i can spend some much needed quality time with daphi!

Ill let ya know how todays bridle and saddle fitting experiance goes lol xxx
 
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its very hard work and dont get much reward back for my hard work. (
How easy are horses to sell? especially ones with problems.

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Welcome to horse ownership! It is not easy to sell horses with problems unless you are a devious liar, prepared to take advantage of an unknowing potential buyer the same way the person who sold her to you did.
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Try just to enjoy caring for Daphi and take the riding as a bonus. Have you organized a regular trainer to visit you both yet? Putting the bridle on will get easier with practice, but you need some experienced help.
 
Just to say, I've had my horse 14 years and he's still a get to have his bridle on (for no apparent reason!). But, as that's really his only fault (or the one that really annoys me anyway!) I've sort of just made do with it. No horse is perfect but just find what works best for you. If it helps to have a treat in your hand aswell as the bit then try it this way.
 
I know how frustrating it must be when you have your own set up at home, perhaps you could go to the livery yard for one season, then go home, or perhaps livery durin gthe week and home at weekends?

xx
 
From what I have read, you seem to be looking after your mare fabulously at home, so for me, as beneficial as it would be to pay for livery, it would be a bit of a waste of money!

Could you maybe go some evenings to a riding school, and help tack up their horses. Maybe make friends with someone local who has an established horse and offer to help a bit with it?

I know I would certainly be more than happy to let you 'practise' on mine if we were a little closer!
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Practise makes perfect so keep with it and one day it will just all click!
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If you don't want to move to a livery yard why not consider having an instructor come once a week? They could then show you how to tack up and get you going with Daphi in your own environment on a 1:1 basis.
 
If you can run to the expense, I think you should give the livery yard thing a go. You'll meet local horsey people & get lots of offers of help I'm sure. You can always bring her back home when you feel confident. Good luck, I really feel for you as it can be an uphill struggle when you're on your own.
 
cant you advertise for a livery at your place. might be the best thing you ever done. The right person would be nice and enjoy helping you im sure.
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