Having a bit of bother with a friend

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ish123

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I am having a slight problem with a friend of mine. We are fairly close and both have our own horse. I am slightly less into my competing than she is and would rather spend my time on a beach or national park wandering around!!

Recently I have been finding that I am made to feel as if I am missing out on alot because I dont compete. My horse is capable of it but I just don't really enjoy competing and tend to use my horse as a relaxation aid (not sure he would be entirely happy being called that, but there ya' go). I am refusing to buy transport which is a bone of contention as I have no way of getting out an about.

I am also made to feel as if everything I do has been done before and is nothing special. I do new things (trainingetc at yard) and although I dont expect an intense interest a bit of interest would be nice!!

this is not a rant or loking for sympathy etc, suppose it is just a little post to get things off my chest. !!!

K
 
I felt like I had to compeat my boy as he's a stunning show horse and after having him on a showing yard last year and spending a fortune and many hours bathing,plaiting and schooling etc, just decided it was'nt for me, I brought him as a foal to show, but ive just decided i want to have fun and just hack and do the odd show, dont feel bad as long as your doing what you want and your both happy than that's all that matters, everyone enjoys their horses in different ways, just explain that to your friend. good luck.
 
Perhaps mention that you are happy doing the things that you do with your horse. Take an interest in how your friend is doing competing though and go to watch/help sometimes.
 
I used to feel that I wasn't making the most of one horse I had, then someone said that a horse doesn't have any ambition, they would be happy out in a field, and if taking them for a ride made me happy, then so be it.

Competing CAN be fun, but it can also be expensive, demoralising, tiring, and take over your whole life.

Enjoy your horse and do what you want to to. And we all need someone to moan too sometimes!
 
As the others have said (I am being soooo lazy lol).

Maybe, as your friend is so keen on competing, she cannot see/does not know you're happy doing what you're doing. Tell her
smile.gif
 
I have a friend like this. All I can say is that they are missing out on the simple pleasures in life.

I can't tell you the number of times I've felt quite overwhelmed with gratitude and emotion at the experience of just riding my horse on the mountain, on the beach - where ever....

I just don't tell this friend about it anymore - they quite simply don't 'get it'.
 
I have 2 arabs, both capable of doing endurance to a highish level and 2 little ponies. all are pets, I dont compete anymore because I choose not too. I get lots of pleasure from simply grooming, washing tails occasionally, taking the arabs a local hack a couple of times a week. A friend of mine just cannot understand it. finds it increadable that I bother to keep horses at all, and especially cannot understand me having the ponies as i dont ride them, they being too small.I reply riding isnt compulsary and if I can have the luxury of just having the ponies around then thats my business. Each to their own I say. I like my horses and my time with them, if i dont do things that others do then thats my choice.
 
I know how you feel! I have a friend who cant understand why when you have a nice horse you dont compete it. I used to do some unaff dressage with my cob, plus local showing and we used to do pretty well. He's been hunted, done PC rallies and camp with my daughter and done cross country. The last couple of years I've been too busy to do it. He is now 'relegated' to a happy hack and occasinally when I have time, hunter. He loves his life now. He doesnt care one bit. He is happy being thrown out in the field for a couple of days when mummy has to work late, he's also happy doing some schooling, lunging and hacking. He's my best friend and he couldnt care less if he never sees a schedule every again.

He is also the most spoilt boy going. I am lucky enough to have a good job and can afford to spoil him, but said friend cannot understand why he gets new rugs, saddles cloths, headcollars etc cos he is a happy hack. It gives me huge pleasure to spoil him, and I know he couldnt give a dam which rug he has, I love to see him looking smart. He's kept clipped and hogged as I like the look, said friend cant understand why he is kept so tidy if I dont compete.

Sorry, friend, you just dont get it and you never will, so we agree to differ.

Enjoy your horse. Take no notice. Just because they compete does not make them better than you. Its just a horse owning choice. My daughter competes and I am her groom/driver/bank/shoulder to cry on and when I see the stress she goes through I know I am glad I no longer compete.

Try and take no notice, but dont try and change their mind over this - you wont!
 
Well no offense meant to your mate but when was the last time you heard a foal saying to its mare "i want to be a showjumper". Oh please! Suggest to your friend she gets on doing what she wants and leave you to do what you want. You may not be out winning rosettes but the moments you have just to unwind, chill out and just shoot the breeze are very special and down right priceless. You could argue that just plodding round from one competition to the other is pretty repetitive and until your mates competing in the Olympics, then nothing she's doing is remotely deep and edgy.

Good luck. Why folk just can't let other folk be is a bit beyond me.
 
i think some people assume everyone wants the same thing as they do...
e.g. "ergh, no, you can't buy a hanoverian, i don't like them" was the comment i had last night from a friend when i told her i was viewing a horse today.
um... i'm viewing it for ME... if you're happy doing your thing, then that's all that matters. x
 
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