"Having a bond" - what does it mean to you?

P

Puppy

Well-Known Member
Joined
2 February 2006
Messages
31,648
Visit site
Following on from some other posts that have got me thinking - (yeah, dangerous, I know
smirk.gif
) What does it mean to you when you say that you've got a bond with your horse??


For me, I don't think this is just down to them calling to you, or following you around. I *think* it was lzt made a very good point (baaaa
tongue.gif
) in a thread about "join up" a while back that stuck with me; That just because a horse follows you round everywhere like a big puppy it doesn't mean that you are "bonded" or that the horse will try any harder for you under saddle. So I personally don't think that's a necessary reflection of "bonding".

So what do you lot think is?? I'm sure this is rather a subjective concept and would be interested to hear how peoples' ideas differ
smile.gif


Do you think you have a bond with your horses? And what makes you say so?

H. x
 
I think when they look for you, they take reassurance from you and they try hard for you.
My sister's horse is a prime example, he's a friendly thing and likes everyone but he def gets grumpy when she isnt around, when he hears her or sees her he brightens up and watches her every move. She's the only one that can really de-stress him and he will only put his all into his work if she is riding him or standing near him.

Odd!!!
 
I definatly have a bond with H, there is just something between us, he will give me his all, and he knows my next move as I know his. It makes it even harder though to see him struggling.

Dont think I have a great bond with Jerry yet, but we are getting there, he is very opinionated and likes to think he is ok on his own, but he will hopefully realise that we can have more fun if we work together
grin.gif
 
To me a bond is when you kind of know what each other are thinking.

Hard to explain. But I know what I mean.

Lots of horses come up to you in the field and you will generally find that is "cupboard" love!! haha. "Where's my food then Mrs"?

Some horses are more people orientated than others so a proper bond goes deeper than that.
 
I would say a basic bond is mutual trust, which comes of knowing the horse, the horse knowing you, and riding well enough that the horse can put faith in you. That's a kind of workmanlike bond - so if you put a horse at a big fence or go past a scary drain, it will sort of say "okay mum, I trust you."

Then I'd say a real bond is when you have the kind of relationship with a horse where they would just try their heart out for you, and where you can tell they want to be with you, on and off the saddle. I've only had that kind of bond with one horse though, and it was really special.
 
I think it depends on the horse! My girl can be quite nervy and with her I feel we have a bond because she'll let me do things that would upset her if it was someone else. She's quite happy for me to touch her ears, for example, but she'd shy away if my mum went to (although she's getting much better!). She's never going to be a demonstrative horse, unlike my old loan horse who'd come trotting over to meet me and would be quite affectionate to me (although I was never sure how much of that was food motivated!), but I know that she'll try things for me and although I still don't think we have a true bond, we're definitely getting there!
 
[ QUOTE ]
I think it is another expression for mutual trust. .

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, I like that
smile.gif
I was trying to think how to word it using my two as an example, and I think that the way Star trusts me - like when we got chased by the savage dog a while back, and she calmed immediately, despite it still being at ther heels, just because I told her to - then THAT is what tells me that we have a bond. She certainly doesn't follow me round the field.
grin.gif



I also think the thing that makes me know that I am bonding with Bel (much faster than I expected) is because of how now, if she backs off something scary say, out hacking, then I know from my voice I can stop her spooking and to go past it quite quickly now. For the first couple of weeks it took more attempts and you could tell she was not as confident. Now I think that she trusts me more
smile.gif
However, she would follow me round the fields from day one.
 
Aww, that sounds like quite a bond. I was thinking you would write something about you and Boss, as the two of you seem to have something quite special
smile.gif


I think that's quite true. People have told me in the past that they couldn't really handle Star when I've been on hols
ooo.gif
but to me, and my mother, she is a total lady to handle
smile.gif


[ QUOTE ]
they look for you, they take reassurance from you and they try hard for you.

[/ QUOTE ]

Star does all of that - she just doesn't necessarily let me catch her when she's hormonal!
smirk.gif
grin.gif
 
don't laugh but I think the relationship between horse and rider is the same as any relationship - we've had some serious problems but have worked through them and now trust each other.

he cuddles me now and whinnies when I walk off the yard at night.

doesn't mean he's not a petulant child sometimes but hey ho, that's men for you!

Clicking under the saddle and taking him to a show where he behaved impeciably are other signs that we're bonding atlast. x
 
[ QUOTE ]
and he knows my next move as I know his.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh yes
smile.gif
good point - when you know one another inside out,
smile.gif
I'd say I especially had that with my old boy Will. People used to call him unpredicatable (one YO even told me to shoot him because of it
crazy.gif
) But I knew him, his triggers and his quirks and in our latter years could tell you what he was going to do before he even did it - man I miss that boy
frown.gif
 
It's sad to think about but in Js final moments he sought solace from me. He called for me and made sure he was as close to me as possible and kept moving his head so he was lying in my lap. That to me shows we had a bond.
 
I think I have a bond with my horse. I trust him, he trusts me. I know this as I do things on him I wouldn't do on suposedly safer horses, and he will do things for me that other suposedly better riders cant get him to do.
Oh and when he sees me he comes over for a cuddle even though I never feed treats to him and he whickers for me whenI go out of his sight.
 
[ QUOTE ]
Aww, that sounds like quite a bond. I was thinking you would write something about you and Boss, as the two of you seem to have something quite special
smile.gif



[/ QUOTE ]

I've discussed this with Weezy who is one of the few people who also 'knows' Boss, we dont think you can truly have a bond with Boss. He sets himself a bit out of reach, you can never get into his mind.
Dont get me wrong, he knows who his mummy is and I get exceptionally emotional over him but its more that he holds a power over me than a bond. I dont trust him and he doesnt trust me though, maybe thats where we go wrong.
 
Totally agree about the following people around the field thing. I know loads of horses who'll do that to anyone and everyone. Bel loves to follow me - not so much after food, but cause she's a nosy girl. Star doesn't do following. She's quite reserved and independent, but if I'm around she'll always have her eye on me, even if she tried to act not bovvered!
grin.gif
You'd think on the surface watching us today that I had the bigger bond with Bel, but after ten years together, I'd say it runs deepest with Star
smile.gif
 
I think when you have trust in each other - when as a rider you can feel your horse tremble/waver just that teensy on the edge of a ditch out hunting and they still jumnp it because you say it's ok. And the reverse is true too, when you're faced with a hedge you can't see over and horsey locks on and says "Yes I can!!" while you're shaking in your boots
grin.gif
 
[ QUOTE ]
he cuddles me now and whinnies when I walk off the yard at night.

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL! Sorry, I confess, it was your post in the other thread that got me thinking about this because I don't believe that affection necessarily means you have a bond.

I think the fact he listened to you at the show or under saddle now (after your initial probs) is a far great example that you've developed a bond.
smile.gif
 
Its all about trust. I have had Ella for 8 months now and we are really beginning to trust each other. She was in a busy yard before, and now she lives at my home with my other 3 horses so she gets a lot of one-on-one attention which she obviously loves. She always pricks her ears up when she hears my voice or sees me. Out riding she is the sort of mare that if the horse in front of her stops and spooks and spins at something, I can say to her "come on we can pass it" and she will trust me enough to lead the way.
 
[ QUOTE ]
It's sad to think about but in Js final moments he sought solace from me. He called for me and made sure he was as close to me as possible and kept moving his head so he was lying in my lap. That to me shows we had a bond.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, it does
smile.gif

Same with Eric. He would yell if i spoke to another horse before him, he would tell others off if they got bolshy (horses). When it was his time to go, he flatly refused to go in the lorry and tried to follow me when I ran into the yard. Huge bond, and doubtful if I can find the same.
 
Wow, quite choked with some of these, especially Blackhawks.

Think its easier to bond with a gelding, but having said that Ive had my mare for nearly 10 years and its just the knowing what (as someone said above) the next move, what each other is thinking, a kind of telepathy. When they look for you if they are in a scarey situation.

I have 6 horses and find I cant give my part of the bond equally which saddens me, even though they all look for me.
 
frown.gif
BH, I lost my Will to colic too, and he passed with his head on my lap.

In fact, Star is prone to colic and has had a few bouts of the years and it turns her into a soppy so and so, when usually she can be quite aloof...
 
[ QUOTE ]
Oh really. Gosh he is a complex little character isn't he??

What about Moon? Bonded??
grin.gif


[/ QUOTE ]

He is THE most complicated horse I'm pretty sure I'll ever meet, he is intriguing. I cant think about him without getting very emotional. I dont get soppy about horses at all but Boss is different.

I think I do have a bond with Moon actually, she wont do anything for most other people, she whinnies for me, she hurtles over to me in the field and does take reassurance from me. I'm pretty sure she trusts me and I trust her judgement more than my own!! She's a pretty complex character too but a doddle compared to Bossanova!!
 
Thought I would add my experience with Taz - an old YO of mine actually DID threaten to shoot him once
crazy.gif
.

I think I felt that he was always very aware of me - I could leave his stable open while I went to get feed and hay etc and he would just stay in there - but sometimes he's walk across the gangway, I'd come back and just say "excuuuuse me?" and he would back right in again. He'd also follow me around the school or the yard.

Then of course there was the fact that I was the only person ever who he would relax for when I was riding him. Because he didn't like contact on his mouth I always had to let him go a bit when we cantered out on hacks but I always knew he would never do anything stupid. If I ever fell off he would immediately stop beside me, even if we were in the middle of a xc course.

And he always tried so so hard for me, even though he had a lot of issues and cantering and jumping was scary and hard for him, he tried his heart out for me every time. If anything was scary, or he wasn't sure about it, like another rider - he always, ALWAYS looked to me for reassurance. He was my horse of a lifetime I think.
 
A very interesting post.
smile.gif

I think we can all feel it when we get it. But what is it?!

I think mutual trust was the best term used, it describes what I feel anyway.

I feel a bond when...

She knows me well enough to know that I'm not going hurt, her, bore her with endless schooling, take her anywhere nasty in the box, if I say water has a bottom it does and we can go splash through it and that best of all I give her a nice dinner when we're done!
Whilsty she's not an overly affectionate horse, I think she does know what side her bread is buttered.

I know her well enough to know that her bucks when jumping are for fun and that she's now no longer testing me out everytime I ride (we had the full repertoir except rearing thank god). My position is better as I'm more relaxed on her. I ride along bareback in a headcollar to the field. She's more confident going out on her own with me.

She's also still a complete horror to anyone other than me and her owner so we must be doing something right!

Have to say I love it that she always comes to me in the field. Sometimes she neighs and it makes me pathetically happy, its like a dog begging for scraps LOL
 
I hope I have a bond with P and I think that I do. He gets terribly grumpy if I pay another horse horse attention and there are times when I find him watching me and following me as I go about the yard. Dad says that sometimes he is in the box and if he hears my voice his ears prick forward and he comes to look for me.

Sounds a bit silly but Im sure he knows who I am. I believe he trust me too, he will let me do almost anything to him, if he is asleep I can sit beside him and he will lie down with his head on my lap. So he feels safe in my presence. Finally there are times when he trusts me enough to keep going even though he is scared or unsure. I may feel him waver or stall but if I put my leg on and reassure him he will give it a go.

To me that is the bond we have.
 
Agree with everyone else. I think having a bond is alot to do with trust and the mutual acceptance that you can rely on each other to get through the hard/difficult times.
I dont think I will ever have a bond with another horse like I did with Sid. He was mentally scarred after horrific treatment in the past yet he faced all his fears and put his trust in a human again...towards the end he wouldn't let anyone else near him and the vet branded him dangerous- but with me he was always exceptionally gentle and would try his little heart out for me.
 
[ QUOTE ]


Yes, it does
smile.gif

Same with Eric. He would yell if i spoke to another horse before him, he would tell others off if they got bolshy (horses). When it was his time to go, he flatly refused to go in the lorry and tried to follow me when I ran into the yard. Huge bond, and doubtful if I can find the same.

[/ QUOTE ]

lol! Horses are just such characters
smile.gif
Eric sounds like he did have a bond with you.
smile.gif


When I dared get another horse J wouldn't come near me for a couple for days. If I brought a horse in before him he wouldn't catch. He actually not look at me and lift his head away.
tongue.gif
If I was anywhere he could see he continually call to me or do his soft snorty whicker. He'd chase other horses away from me so he could be as close as possible. One of my favorite moments actually is when I was sitting in his field and he came and lay next to me
grin.gif
Despite all this he was a total arse for anyone else that went near him (OH frequently got bitten ESPECIALLY is OH was taking away time with me from J
tongue.gif
)
 
[ QUOTE ]
frown.gif
BH, I lost my Will to colic too, and he passed with his head on my lap.

In fact, Star is prone to colic and has had a few bouts of the years and it turns her into a soppy so and so, when usually she can be quite aloof...

[/ QUOTE ]

frown.gif
I'm sorry to hear that about will. Star must care for you, I think when they're not at their best they look for comfort.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top