Having grumpymare PTS tomorrow

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stealthninja

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And im gutted about it. Ive had her 12 months, after buying her from Derby sales last year, I am 99% sure its the right thing to do, but I keep thinking what if I give her a bit longer. Shes half wild, must have been drugged to get to the sales. Since getting her home, shes charged into a stable door several times, breaking through it once, broke my arm, escaped from the field onto the road because she was separated from her best mate.. Since buying her a permanent companion 6 months ago and putting them in a separate field, and just leaving her alone she has settled, but shes so stressy about everything! Shes suffering from massive ulcers, and even a small treat has her cribbing. Shes so wild she has to be sedated to be handled by the vet, farrier, transported, the list goes on. She goes wild if you try and get a headcollar on her, and I cant leave her out over winter, but she goes insane if stabled. I think the best thing for her is to go, but I just feel so crappy about it.
 
It sounds like you have made the right decision. Your uncertainly is entirely understandable, but I think once it's done you will be content that you did the right thing.

*hugs*
 
Don't feel crappy - you have done your best for her. I would be doing the same............. "healthy" means mentally, as well as physically. Well done on making the best decision for her - she sounds a troubled soul :(
 
I think sometimes we have to accept that some things aren't fixable or manageable. I have a mare on loan that has been traumatised, her previous owner was very experienced and kind and I have never raised my voice to her but she is a gibbering wreck some days. If I am ever unable to keep her she will have to be PTS. You are doing the right thing.
 
Having traced her history though her passport (which contains 10 owners and shes only 15) shes always been a "handful" and obviously struggles to settle. She was skin and bones when I got her from Derby. Shes a big fatty now, and I like to think shes been happy here even if that's involved pretty much leaving her to her own devices. She trusts me, as in shell come up to me in the field, and ive got to sedate her to allow the huntsman to shoot her, and I feel like im betraying her. Its got to be better for her than stressing her all out again either my moving her to a different field (if I can find one) or stabling her. Ive never had one put down before - Im an absolute wreck about it :(
 
I posted on another forum about it and got absolutely lampooned about being heartless and putting a healthy horse to sleep, and then was directed here by PM. Was told you were a bit more sensible about the issue, but its just fed into my guilt and what ifs. Im sure its the right thing to do, she wont know. itll be instant and itll be me left after its all done and the shitland - but im going to pop her in with my other so hopefully shell be OK.
 
A dreadful situation, there is nothing more you can do, and you have done your best, no one knows what has happened to her, and now it all has to end, this is the best thing for her.
 
You poor thing.
She sounds thoroughly unhappy with life and no one else has stepped up to the mark so it's down to you. You are not betraying her, you are sending her to a better place.
 
Rather than beating yourself up about the decision look at it more positively. You tried to help the mare, you could have just dumped her on someone else. You did your best and are now ensuring the mare has a peaceful end. You will know she is no longer able to hurt herself or anyone else. You are not betraying her, you are respecting her.

When the time is right I really hope you have another horse. That horse will be in the best of homes with you.
 
I can't put it any more eloquently than this but I will be thinking about you tomorrow. thank goodness this troubled mare found a real friend in you.
AdorableAlice said:
Rather than beating yourself up about the decision look at it more positively. You tried to help the mare, you could have just dumped her on someone else. You did your best and are now ensuring the mare has a peaceful end. You will know she is no longer able to hurt herself or anyone else. You are not betraying her, you are respecting her.

When the time is right I really hope you have another horse. That horse will be in the best of homes with you.
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AdorableAlice said:
Rather than beating yourself up about the decision look at it more positively. You tried to help the mare, you could have just dumped her on someone else. You did your best and are now ensuring the mare has a peaceful end. You will know she is no longer able to hurt herself or anyone else. You are not betraying her, you are respecting her.

When the time is right I really hope you have another horse. That horse will be in the best of homes with you.
Click to expand...

well put AA
 
You are doing the right thing their are too many People who wont step up to the plate and have unsuitable dangerous horses PTS they just pass the problem on. I hope it all goes well tomorrow I realise it is a hard and difficult decision but it is the Right Decision.
 
Thanks everyone. I know its the right thing to do.

Chestnut Horse - I can assure you I am not a troll, and its a ****** enough situation without someone making light of it for reasons known to themselves.
 
Didn't want to read and run ... <<<< hugs>>>>.

When I had my ancient old boy put down someone hugged me and told me I was a hero for doing the right thing. You are a hero too. Brave and decisive and strong. Best wishes ....
 
What did you buy her for in the first place - was it as a riding horse? Just wondering I guess. Personally, it doesn't sound like this mare has ever been given the time to settle anywhere which is shame and, to be honest, 12 mths is not a long time. I have a pretty stress pony and he'd had several homes when I got him aged 8. It took a long, long time to overcome a lot of his issues but we did and he's 27 now and still going well.

However, it does seem this mare has put herself in danger which is not good as that is stressful for you as well. I am not 100% sure why you're posting - is it because you are unsure as to whether you are making the right decision? I suppose the only way is to look back - has there been a lot of improvement in the last 12 mths? Has she got worse? If you really feel she is stressed and unhappy 99.9% of the time then I would agree that you are making the right (if very difficult) decision. No horse should be suffering either mentally or physically but again, it does take some horses a lot of time to come round. If she has health issues as well then that's another matter I guess.

I do feel for you as I do not think I could do it unless I was 100% sure it was right.
 
Im not sure why I posted to be honest. Probably because I am not sure and am feeling uncertain about it.
There has been improvement in the last 12 months but thats due to the change in the management of her. I know I cant keep that change up over winter. Id assumed we would have made more progress than we have by now.
She isnt stressed and unhappy left in the field with her companion. She is happy and mostly ok there but I can't leave her there over the bad winter months. Shes going to have to go back into a situation that makes her (and me)sstressed and unhappy. Id sort of got myself into the mindset of that wasnt fair for her and it will undo all the progress of the summer and shell have an awful couple of months.
 
Hope everything goes ok for you both tomorrow, its the hardest decision to make. My ISH mare used to be a nightmare when l moved yards she'd stress out but found she'd been sold afew times within a couple of years she was so mistrustful & l felt like selling her but l was patient & she came round. 10 years old she's completely different. Sounds like your horse has had more stress in her past & has been passed from pillar to post. The way you have to look at it is that you've tried to give her a good life but once she has been pts you know nothing else can harm or hurt her & theres no chance she'll fall into the wrong hands.
 
No doubt many have said far worse can happen to a horse than kindly PTS but its true. she wont feel fear pain or starvation just close her eyes and be at peace. you are brave so stay strong for your mare. Be kind to yourself . I know its hard x x
 
OP just read youre last post. my baby was put to sleep because her stress levels were rising. So many reasons why and yes i could have passsed her on but she was my horse my responsibility. my sweet mare.so like you i made a hard decision. regrets? None i know no one will hurt baby again. guilt ? Yes i had major problems there. But she is at peace. Her poor head is no longer stressed so i know i did right thing for her and me. Its the final act of love to say "im not going to pass you off but say goodbye ". And i miss her still so much.. my little rock x x
 
She cant stay out because the bit of field ive got her in is by a stream and is the flood plain for the stream and it tends to flood over the winter. I normally use it in the summer and then shift to the top hill field for winter. The top fields only small though and although doesnt flood can get quite boggy so i have to do*restricted grazing meaning she will have to be stabled part of the time.
 
Loveie dont try and explain to people. Do you think its right for her AND you. can you see way forward for her giving her what she needs? Please pm me if you want. took me 6 months of lonely hell arguing with self and tears to make that decision so i understand x x
 
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