Having horse pts and feel guilty

[appaloosa123]

Hi,

I am looking for some reassurance. My pony is coming up 20 years old. She has cushings and she has had laminitis 3 times but at the moment she is healthyish. She also has arthritis so cannot be ridden more than a light hack.
She has become extremely stressed and dangerous to handle. She has reared with all the handlers and pushed one into the stable wall breaking her ribs. This is because she doesn't like being in, but if out she will drive herself crazy too. I have been thinking of pts for years now and finally I think I have decided it might be best for her. She cannot be rehomed because of her illnesses and medications she'll need and she cannot go to a retirement home because she can't be turned out on grass and she also can't be brought in because she hates it. She can't be a companion because she doesn't get along with other horses. She's not a cuddly pony and due to her EMS as well she is constantly hungry and angry.
I cannot shake the guilty and sick feeling I have in my stomach when thinking about her being pts. I feel awful. She technically looks healthy, she can be ridden and can be turned out (not on grass). But she is proving dangerous to others and the people who used to help me turn her out etc won't do it anymore. She used to be good at being ridden but she reared with me the other day and has become very spooky. I have had her for 8 years and have never really been able to do anything more than hack with her because she got laminitis the week I got her.

Just looking for reassurance and people who might have been in similar situations.
Thanks

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

Don't feel guilty I would pts in this situation without any hesitation at all she sounds quite unhappy and she won't know she is being pts, it's a natural human feeling to feel guilty with any pts really I know I have when I have had to make the decision but then I have had a feeling of relief as well once it's over.

 

[Carrottom]

It sounds like you have made the right decision, it is now best to get it done as soon as possible. You have nothing to feel guilty about and in my experience although sad you should feel relief when it is done.

 

[PurBee]

Due to her issues and the fact that she cant be turned out for retirement, and she doesnt get on with other horses, youre really not left with many choices at all.

Her being a nightmare to handle and very unpredictable behaviour too makes the decision the best for all.

Im guessing youve tried magnesium and the other cushings supplements, that can *sometimes* work to bring edgy behaviour back to normal?

Yet if her arthritis is bad, and winter is never kind to arthritics, maybe the pain of that is causing her behaviour to become out of control? In which case pts is kindest also.

Im sorry you’re going through this. One issue is possibly remedial and manageable.....but when there’s several issues, they combine to make a very unhappy horse, and pts is the kindest option for the horse.

Everyone feels guilty, but sometimes doing the right thing is heart-breaking yet know she won’t be suffering anymore.

*hugs*

 

[McFluff]

So sorry that you are in this position. The kindest thing we can do for our animals is to make that difficult call when life is too painful and uncomfortable for them. At the moment you risk you or someone else getting hurt, and that in itself will be causing you stress. As others have said, although you will feel sad, you will probably also feel relief after. ((((hugs))))

 

[SEL]

EMS is a struggle at any age and when you can't manage them so they can thrive any longer then it is a tough position to be in.
When they are so unhappy they are dangerous to be around it is definitely time.

Bless you x

 

[meleeka]

You haven’t said how much it’s all been investigated by a vet, but she doesn’t sound happy at all. I think you’d be doing her a favour.

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

She does not sound like a happy, healthy horse. It sounds, really is if you only have one way forward. I think you will be doing her a kindness if you pts. It is never an easy or pleasant decision, though. Thinking of you.

 

[ycbm]

What everyone else says. She would be out of her troubles and running free in spirit this week if she was mine.
.

 

[windand rain]

You dont need to feel guilty for doing what is best for your horse she sounds thoroughly fed up of life and begging to be set free. Hungry, frustrated, in pain and miserable is not much existance for a horse for her sake get it done asap. You may feel she looks okay but she is telling you it is not. Take care of yourself it is never an easy decision but from what you have said you will be doing her a favour

 

[Equi]

Don’t feel guilty at all (easier said than done) she clearly doesn’t sound like a happy horse and bar letting her become very ill by letting her do what she wants this could be the only way to relieve the stress for her and you. It takes a brave person to know when to say “enough, I’m not happy with how your life is” so be strong xx

 

[IrishMilo]

Absolutely PTS in these circumstances. She sounds miserable and dangerous. All the best. Find courage - it’s the right thing for her.

 

[misst]

Remember she does not know anything but the present - and the present sounds pretty stressful and unhappy for her. She has no future plans and future fears. She does not hope for tomorrow.
The guilt is a human thing and totally understandable - but she doesn't know about this either.
Give her the best thing you can - peace. As IrishMilo says find courage.. It hurts, but we all know that along with that pain is the feeling of doing the right thing. Only you can do this for her x hugs.

 

[appaloosa123]

Don't feel guilty I would pts in this situation without any hesitation at all she sounds quite unhappy and she won't know she is being pts, it's a natural human feeling to feel guilty with any pts really I know I have when I have had to make the decision but then I have had a feeling of relief as well once it's over.

Thank you so much. I had a major breakdown over it yesterday but I know I would have to make this decision this time in the next few years anyway.

 

[appaloosa123]

Remember she does not know anything but the present - and the present sounds pretty stressful and unhappy for her. She has no future plans and future fears. She does not hope for tomorrow.
The guilt is a human thing and totally understandable - but she doesn't know about this either.
Give her the best thing you can - peace. As IrishMilo says find courage.. It hurts, but we all know that along with that pain is the feeling of doing the right thing. Only you can do this for her x hugs.

Thank you for this. It is definitely the hardest thing I have ever had to do, I feel like a selfish person. But when I am thinking rationally, I know it is the right thing to do. It is breaking my heart though. It helps to hear this <3

 

[ycbm]

Thank you for this. It is definitely the hardest thing I have ever had to do, I feel like a selfish person. But when I am thinking rationally, I know it is the right thing to do. It is breaking my heart though. It helps to hear this <3

Trust us, it's the most selfless thing you will ever do for her to remove her pain and stress forever.

 

[appaloosa123]

Don’t feel guilty at all (easier said than done) she clearly doesn’t sound like a happy horse and bar letting her become very ill by letting her do what she wants this could be the only way to relieve the stress for her and you. It takes a brave person to know when to say “enough, I’m not happy with how your life is” so be strong xx

Thank you so much, you're very right. She's definitely the type to not help herself. xx

 

[brighteyes]

Once they get PPID, it's a one-way road or uncertain length. It can affect vision as well as all the other conditions of ageing, so by the sounds of it, you are pretty much letting her make the decision. It's awful when they have 'some' quality of life, but nobody in their right mind would judge you harshly on this.

 

[Baywonder]

You are absolutely 100% making the right decision - albeit the hardest one you will ever make.

You have explored every possible option, only to find a dead-end with each one. You really have tried to find an alternative, but sometimes the PTS route is the only one left to take.

I, like literally every person on this forum, have had to make this decision at some point, and it is truly the most horrible, heart breaking situation to be in. Please don't be hard on yourself - it is the right thing to do for your lovely mare. X

 

[charterline]

There is nothing to feel guilty about putting this horse down

 

[Fransurrey]

I would certainly be ok with having her pts if she was mine. I had an EMS pony for years who became grumpier in the last couple of years (he was always hangry). He was also healthy-ish when pts, nobody else on the yard even knew anything was wrong, once he'd recovered from a bad period of diarrhoea and colic (which he'd never had in all his 27 years). I had him donated to the local vet school for a student PM. The feedback was that he had a brain tumour and also multiple mesenteric lipomas. These are linked to EMS as well as PPID, so it may well explain her deterioration in behaviour. I felt horrible having him pts (had more than one person put doubts in my mind), but the relief of the PM feedback was immense.

 

[outdoor girl]

Please don't feel guilty. It is the last kind thing you will do for her. We went through this a few years ago. A homebred mare (IDxTB) had cushings and although the cushings was under control, we couldn't manage the lami. We tried everything, including glue on shoes, to get her sound, but after several months of on and off soundness, decided that the best thing for her would be to let her go. She looked amazing, but it would have meant a life of lameness and box rest, so no life at all really. After her 2nd or 3rd stint of 6 weeks box rest with no improvement and on the vets instructions, we gave her 3 Danilon and turned her out onto the summer grass with her pals. She was a proper horse again for a morning, and then she went.

 

[Goldenstar]

I would not have a second thought about PTS if she where mine .
For me the deciding is much worse than the deed .