Having to sell your horse :'(

[Always-Riding]

Just an absolute moan really!

I've left my parents home for 'real' and not just for university this time. I've been happily plodding along in a dead-end job that was supposed to be this big career changing, high prospect, just down right amazing opportunity and in reality.... I can't afford to live. I've been spending every last pence on every pay cheque and then more. And now (may be Ive just grown up and smelt the coffee?!) I just realise I can't afford my horse, my 4x4 and having my own house.

If something goes wrong, and the horse needs emergency vet treatment - God forbid - how the hell will I afford it? Yes, I've got savings and good savings at that for my age (I'm 21!) but I can't keep dipping into that. I also need a life and possibly some new underwear! And not worry about where the next farrier money will come from.

So reality check - horse is being sold. Im heart broken. I adore this horse. I've never been without a horse. What the hell will I do at 6:30am in the morning... Sleep in?!

One day, when I'm rich (well, if I win the lottery, which I have a significantly higher chance of doing at this rate) then I'll have a horse again.

For now, I'll dream of the day that I'll be competing at the level I've always wanted to be at and forget that my baby is leaving next week :'(

 

[rachk89]

Could you not sell your 4X4 and get a smaller, cheaper car to run? Might not be brilliant, but you'd have less money going out on fuel for one, and any issues the car has. Maybe rent out a room in your house? Not ideal again, but you could keep your horse, or even just loan him for now until you get settled? Sorry if you cant do any of that, just I know I would hate to lose my horse too and only just got him, would sell my soul to try to keep him, but sometimes you just cant.

 

[Redders]

Is there any chance of a sharer to help with costs? Sorry if you have already considered all options, but I can imagine how hard the decision is for you. I got a sharer and I have to say the contributions she makes ( not half-she wants to but I don't want to make her totally horse poor too! But about 35% costs) and it has really made a big difference to my pocket. She has three days and so do I, horse gets at least a day off from being ridden and I do the rest day care.
I really hope your financial situation looks up, it's tough being a grown up! And it's hard being horse poor!

 

[Kati*89]

I feel your pain, I had to give up my first horse when I was 18- had been working days and nights, moved to new yard with strict rules in a new area - didn't know anyone to help- was all too expensive and I was only living in a room in a house share!
He was a nightmare to ride and handle too so it just got too much for me!

Don't put too much stress on yourself, perhaps you can get a share, I have one that works out perfectly for me what with work and travelling around each week and I get to look after him like my own which is fab!

Enjoy your new underwear!

 

[Always-Riding]

Underwear shopping will be the first thing I do!

As bad as it sounds, I don't want to sacrifice more of my lifestyle than I already have. I already don't go out, I haven't bought anything for myself since November and I just want to be able to put myself first.

I have played with the idea of getting a sharer for him - but he's a just turned 4 year old with very little life experience - I just wouldn't trust anyone on him, mainly from the aspect I don't know what he'll do rather than the rider not knowing. Similar reason to why I won't loan him.

Thank you for all your kind words and suggestions

 

[BigRed]

I did the same as you, when I bought my first house. Fast fwd a few years and now I have a house with my own stables and horses at home. Sometimes you have to get your priorities right.
You are doing the right thing. You will have horses again.

 

[Always-Riding]

That's very reassuring, thank you

 

[Tobiano]

Aw sorry Always-Riding. That is a shame. I think you are being very sensible and you can definitely go back to horse owning later when your circumstances are different. I gave up horses when I was 17, for 25 years, but that was because the horse I loved (not mine) was put down and I just lost heart altogether. I have enjoyed my riding just as much in the second phase of my riding life - though it is a bit disappointing that I am not very brave or very good any more!

Good luck with everything

 

[Princess16]

You are still very young and have plenty of time for horses in the future.

I personally think you have a very mature approach to life for such a young person. I agree though that I would downsize the car too as that must be eating the fuel.

If you don't think you could.loan/share your horse what are your chances of selling him?

 

[ridefast]

Sell the 4×4 get a cheap run around move back home and keep the horse!

 

[Tiarella]

I'm looking to loan a horse....haha!

 

[Always-Riding]

If you don't think you could.loan/share your horse what are your chances of selling him?

He has potentially been sold - subject to the usual things. I just don't want to risk loaning him to the wrong person and having a horse come back that's effectively broken. He's at the stage now he needs an experienced rider to bring him on - loaners that have that experience are few and far between - especially knowing the fact they will be putting a huge amount of work into him and even though it's very doubtful I'll have him back, theres always that thought in the back of the loaners mind (well would be if I was loaning him!). He needs a committed owner.

Sell the 4×4 get a cheap run around move back home and keep the horse!

Hehe, if only! I still owe finance (Bank of Dad) on the 4x4 and parents home is now 3 hours away from work etc..

 

[Always-Riding]

I'm looking to loan a horse....haha!

Check your mailbox!

 

[Cheshire Chestnut]

Sorry you find yourself in this position but I think you're making the right decision, although it won't feel like it for a while after your horse has sold.

I sold my 'horse of a lifetime' when I was 19. I was in my second year of university and I had kept her for my first year there. Couldn't move her closer as my mum used to help with the mucking out and day to day jobs, so I just used to make the 160 mike journey back home every weekend and uni half terms to ride her. I had a loaner for her (someone who was supposed to be my good friend) and that didn't work out - she treated her a lot less desirably than I liked, shall we say. She was a competition horse, she loved being fit and jumping a course. Despite my best efforts, she became unfit, slightly unrideable and unhappy. I spent the summer getting her fit again and selling her to a lovely home. The new owners were more than I could ever ask for - not a competition home but I knew she'd be cared for and loved for the rest of her life.

To be honest, I don't think I've ever gotten over selling her. I often wish I hadn't and wished things were different. But they weren't and it was the right thing to do for both of us at the time. However, fast forward 9 years and I'm now in a good job (worked my way up), met my OH and we bought a nice house in the countryside two years ago. I have a lovely quiet livery yard less than half a mile away and when I first moved here I put a little post of the village facebook page asking if anyone had a horse they wanted to loan for a couple of days a week. Someone for in touch and 6 months later I bought him!

I have been back in the horsey world for two years now after a 7 year break. If I'm honest, I did feel a bit lost without a horse for 7 years and missed it, however I filled my time nicely with other things and was never bored. Suppose I always had it in the back of my head that one day (wasn't sure when), I'd venture back into the world of horses again so that was always a comfort. I'd kept all my horse and riding stuff in a huge box in my parent's shed and just put it away for a while.

Even though I've said I regretted selling my mare, I don't in so many ways that it was the right thing to do for me at the time. It gave me the freedom I needed at university, then the freedom I needed to find a job and work my bum off to get where I am now. I couldn't have done it all with a horse in the mix too. Horses aren't just a hobby - they are a lifestyle choice and one that doesn't always make you as happy as it should, it can cause a lot of stress too.

I'm glad I took the break as I wouldnt be here now in the situation I'm in now, with my lovely pony. It feels right again, and that feeling will come to you again in the future but for now you just have to be brave and do the right thing for your own future x

 

[SpringArising]

I think you're making the right decision too.

When I was in a similar position to you I sold mine, and although it was the hardest thing I've ever done (that horse was the love of my life), it was such a relief. I felt like I could breathe for the first time in a year. I didn't have to worry about going down every day, unexpected bills, livery every month, the vet, farrier, buying hay, repairing tack, etc. etc. (and the list goes on!). I tried a sharer too but it just didn't work out (partly because I was so possessive over him and really didn't like someone else doing things with him that I couldn't see!). Sell the horse and enjoy your life.

 

[Ceriann]

Very sorry to hear youre having to sell. If its any consolation i left two horses at home at my parents (moved away from the area for work and broke up with my fiance who shared the horses with me (and then didnt want anything to do with them)) for more or less 8 years. During that time they got good but basic care, and i finally stopped riding them about half way through that period (as every other weekend riding just didnt work). I just couldnt get my head around selling them as it meant splitting them (and they were devoted to each other) and i kept telling myself that next year i would be able to afford to move them. The year i finally got myself into a position to look at houses with land etc, i lost one mare so only manged to move the other. I lost her 3 years later (she was treated like a queen during that time).

Sometimes - when i see my current horses every day and get to give them tlc etc - i regret my decision and other times im glad (i knew they were safe). Difficult decisions dont have one right answer.

 

[PollyP99]

Whereabouts are you Devon or Glos, there are always people looking for an extra rider for their horse if you need to keep your horsey fix with minimum or no costs?

 

[rowan666]

im very impressed how sensible and mature your attitude is as at only 21! i had a break from horses when i moved out of home and had my first child after my horse of a lifetime passed away, i was in mourning for her but was busy with house and child etc and it was like a breath of fresh air almost just finding myself! all my life i had horses as my mum always had them so had no idea about all this social life outside horses, clubbing, shopping somewhere other than robinsons and feed stores! eventually i moved back to my mums and ended up with 6 horses! lol but you. will enjoy finding yourself and having time for friends till the novelty of having a "normal" life wears off lol

 

[tamsinkb]

Whereabouts are you Devon or Glos, there are always people looking for an extra rider for their horse if you need to keep your horsey fix with minimum or no costs?

Ditto this...I'm just about to relocate to devon with my 3 and would love some help .... Tx

 

[Always-Riding]

Whereabouts are you Devon or Glos, there are always people looking for an extra rider for their horse if you need to keep your horsey fix with minimum or no costs?

I need to change that! Parents are Devon and Im currently in North Glos (until OH starts his law contract in London in 12months time - another reason why selling makes sense)

I worked for a BD Judge round here when I was at Uni in Chelt so will see if I can blag a few rides once in a while to keep me sane... Or at least try!

 

[kateandluelue]

Sell the 4×4 get a cheap run around move back home and keep the horse!

This is absolutely what i would do.

 

[Mahoganybay]

Sometimes life gets in the way, yes, you could sell things, sacrifice things, go without things etc but it sounds like your priorities are changing. Good on you for recognising that and hopefully you will have found your horse a lovely home.

Remember it's not forever, you can always revisit horses, time to enjoy a different aspect of your life.

 

[sunnyone]

Please in a year's time let us know where you are and what you did.
It seems to me that your whole life is going to have changed.
1. Horse sold, money in your purse for a few days at least each month.
2. OH in London, so you will be there too, or just half way?
3. Change of job? You don't seem to be too impressed with the one you have, and OH's job move could provide the impetus you need to do something about that.
4. In order to be near OH will you rent out or sell your house? Will you be living together?
5. The 4 x 4 must be expensive to run and if further east you are less likely to need it as a get you home vehicle as the hills are, generally, less steep. So new car but with dad paid off?
Life for you does seem to be lobbing, as certainly not gently throwing, challenges at you now and in the near future. Good luck.

 

[huskydamage]

honestly this is the reason I still live in my mums house! (and I'm older than you..:s) I also have a dog and I will not go without him either and it's hard finding a house with a garden in my area on my pathetic budget. Looking to get somewhere with my boyf but it feels impossible! Seriously considering moving to another end of the country. London/Essex is just too dear.
Can your horse live out somewhere? This is a lot cheaper for me saves on bedding/hay etc- I also only have front shoes for the same reason and hope to remove them all soon. If the horse can't live out (and cheaply!) then maybe it's not suitable for you at this time.
I think there are things you can do to get the costs down if you really want, but depends what sacrifices you are wiling to make, only you can answer that.
I have a petrol 4x4 because I drive off road alot, but as much as I love it, it's got to go in favor of diesel. I'ts just too bloody expensive to run Unless you REALLY need the 4x4 ditch it.
I take my hat off to you though for managing to do the thing I have still not and get out the parental house lol I hope you can make a go of it- goodluck

 

[Roasted Chestnuts]

Having had to make the decision to sell a loved horse and out the other on loan far away I feel your pain.

When you can't afford it you can't afford it. It's pretty simple sometimes but you do feel like crap and you will cry loads doing it.

I'm sure you will try and find the best home for your horse and I hope it's very easy and stress free for you.

 

[Always-Riding]

I'll let you know what happens soon. Although I'm in giving up horses (in reality I do have a yearling on youngstock livery so won't be 100% horseless!) I will come back to it - most likely when the youngster is old enough to start work.

As you've said Black Beastie - when you can't afford, you can't afford it. Sums it up perfectly.

I don't know what's happening in 16 months time, but being able to save takes some of the stress away that what ever happens I have some money as and when I need it and sadly owning a horse just doesn't fit in to this!

Im just happily dreaming of when I can afford my own house with land, stables, an arena etc and have as many horses as I want.... Because I'm able to save!

 

[wil24702]

I did the same as you, when I bought my first house. Fast fwd a few years and now I have a house with my own stables and horses at home. Sometimes you have to get your priorities right.
You are doing the right thing. You will have horses again.

I know this is an old thread however @(aged28) I am in a position of not being able to afford horse (can't manage DIY physically), commit the time alongside my health issues and life in general. Its a hideous decision and I hate hate hate it. Made even worse that he is an amazing kind genuine horse.

Sorry off topic but it is some comfort that after time away you can come back to it and learn to understand the decision was the right one, even if it doesnt feel that way at the time.

 

[FlyingCircus]

I know this is an old thread however @(aged28) I am in a position of not being able to afford horse (can't manage DIY physically), commit the time alongside my health issues and life in general. Its a hideous decision and I hate hate hate it. Made even worse that he is an amazing kind genuine horse.

Sorry off topic but it is some comfort that after time away you can come back to it and learn to understand the decision was the right one, even if it doesnt feel that way at the time.

Is there nothing you can do to afford him? Work longer hours?
I literally intend on keeping my horse until he or I die. There's no way in hell he's going anywhere, even if that means him being a field ornament for abit in a low cost field rent situation.

 

[touchstone]

There is not much to enjoy about keeping a horse that you can't afford, if your life is being negatively impacted so that you can't live day to day comfortably, then horse owning probably isn't the right thing for now.

It's all well and good giving your all to keep a horse, but what happens when you can't pay your livery, farrier vet or even buy forage over the winter? It means your horses welfare is being put at risk, which I think is unacceptable. Far better to for the horse to be cared for by someone who can provide for all its needs.

I still believe you can enjoy horses without owning, of course it won't be the same, but some charities would probably appreciate help.
It's a sad fact that horses are expensive to keep, but you've got to be sensible and consider your own financial security.

 

[SpringArising]

Is there nothing you can do to afford him? Work longer hours?
I literally intend on keeping my horse until he or I die. There's no way in hell he's going anywhere, even if that means him being a field ornament for abit in a low cost field rent situation.

That's fine if that's what you want to do. But some people don't want to be tied to a horse at any cost. Personally it's not worth it to me. In fact, I can't think of much I'd rather do less than work even longer hours just for the privilege of shovelling yet more $h1t. :eek3:

There's more to life than horses and if you want to explore that then there's nothing wrong with it. It's what works best for you.

And absolutely all of this:

There is not much to enjoy about keeping a horse that you can't afford, if your life is being negatively impacted so that you can't live day to day comfortably, then horse owning probably isn't the right thing for now.

It's all well and good giving your all to keep a horse, but what happens when you can't pay your livery, farrier vet or even buy forage over the winter? It means your horses welfare is being put at risk, which I think is unacceptable. Far better to for the horse to be cared for by someone who can provide for all its needs.

It's a sad fact that horses are expensive to keep, but you've got to be sensible and consider your own financial security.