He got the better of me today ...

[Eloisee]

So unless anyone saw my last post I'm stuck in a confidence crisis with my pony .. I went up to ride after work today ..
I was walking him round the school in hand for a few minuets to settle him (he’s spooky) and he was just not in the mood at all .. pulling, stopping dead, looking at EVERYTHING!
And I just had visions of all the times he’s done that with me on board and then just spun and bucked off with me and I just didn’t want to get on ..
nevertheless, I got on .. walked for all of 2 minuets in the same 20m circle at the opposite end of the school (the less scary side) and got off ..
I feel defeated by him tonight

 

[doodle]

You still got on and rode for 2 mins, better than not getting on at all. I am a very nervous rider and sometimes that is all i aim for.

 

[texenstar]

I haven't seen your previous post (sorry) but I wouldn't say that was a defeat at all. You got on and you did something with him, even if it was only a couple of minutes. Doing even that is a big achievement when working on your confidence. I've had plenty of rides where I have done hardly anything as my head/confidence just were not in the right place but on another day I would have an amazing ride.

When it comes to spooky horses (and horses in general) it is amazing how important our mindset is. So good for you on not pushing it if you weren't feeling it.

It's a step in the right direction so it is a win!

 

[Pinkvboots]

It's still a step forward and it's best to get off on a good note before you get nervous or worried.

Have you tried lunging before riding? It can get the horse used to the school before you get on and get them listening to you while using energy.

Do you have an instructor? Book some lessons tell them how you feel it will help you get more confident.

 

[Eloisee]

It's still a step forward and it's best to get off on a good note before you get nervous or worried.

Have you tried lunging before riding? It can get the horse used to the school before you get on and get them listening to you while using energy.

Do you have an instructor? Book some lessons tell them how you feel it will help you get more confident.

Yes occasionally I lunge beforehand but with him when he spooks he just completely tanks off and on the lunge when he pulls it freaks him out so can take a while to get his head back in the game, thus defeating the object!

And yes I have and instructor as well, she’s my YO. I aim to have a lesson a week but he’s currently being brought back into work after a long winter off so we are currently still walking for fitness .. which I am reluctant to pay for a lesson for every week

 

[Pinkvboots]

Are you lunging in a bridle?

I understand not having a lesson at the moment if your just walking.

Do you have someone who would help you lunge or even just be there when you ride, I found that really helped me when I got nervous.

Is he being turned out at the moment I only ask as you mentioned his coming back into work?

 

[Eloisee]

Yes a bridle, lunge line clipped through the bit. He hates it’s over his poll.
My YO previously lunged him once a week (back when I was riding regularly) in a Pessoa but again, since he’s unfit we aren’t doing that yet

Yes I have my mum on her free nights but she not really horsey. It’s some comfort but she doesn’t really trust him. I do feel better when I walk round with my YO on-site but she’s only up when I am if I specifically ask (again don’t want to keep asking her to wait around when we are walking)

And yeah, he’s turned out daily from 8am till probably about 4

 

[EllenJay]

I don't understand why you don't want lessons just in walk. Some of the best lessons I have had are only in walk. You can start learning how to keep his focus on you, start doing simple lateralwork, which helps build muscle, do lots of transitions within a pace, and most important of all, start to build your confidence and relationship with your horse.
Once you have mastered all this in walk, you will be able to start adding some trot work, and then when he gets stressy, you will have the ability to get his attention back on you rather than what he is stressing about.

Well done for getting on and riding today.

 

[Eloisee]

I don't understand why you don't want lessons just in walk. Some of the best lessons I have had are only in walk. You can start learning how to keep his focus on you, start doing simple lateralwork, which helps build muscle, do lots of transitions within a pace, and most important of all, start to build your confidence and relationship with your horse.
Once you have mastered all this in walk, you will be able to start adding some trot work, and then when he gets stressy, you will have the ability to get his attention back on you rather than what he is stressing about.

Well done for getting on and riding today.

In a perfect world I do want this
However .. without disrespect to my wonderful YO she isn’t a highly qualified instructor so to speak and I don’t really think I would get all those benefits you mentioned. She’s cheaper than an instructor that would be able to come to me and offer this. I work a minimum wage job so I would really like to have a more experienced instructor for when I’m a little more in the swing of things

 

[Elf On A Shelf]

This won't be a popular opinion but here goes anyway - knacker him out! Loose school or lunge him til he is absolutely knackered. Then get on and do 5 mins more. Put the pessoa on him, send him forwards. It will only take a few days of hard-er work to get him to settle. If you hop on when he is too tired to do beggar all he won't do anything and your confidence in him will come up because he is doing as you ask him to do. If he gets too big for his boots again make him work hard. Don't be affraid to be hard on him. He clearly knows he can get one over on you so boss him about and kick him on. If he is quite unfit then it will only take 10-15mins to knacker him.

Make sure he has a good 5-10min walk to warm up then send him on. Don't let him drop off keep him going. Keep it interesting and add in a jump if he has ever learnt to jump.

Sometimes you just need to be hard on them to get it out of their own heads to be stupid.

 

[Pinkvboots]

This won't be a popular opinion but here goes anyway - knacker him out! Loose school or lunge him til he is absolutely knackered. Then get on and do 5 mins more. Put the pessoa on him, send him forwards. It will only take a few days of hard-er work to get him to settle. If you hop on when he is too tired to do beggar all he won't do anything and your confidence in him will come up because he is doing as you ask him to do. If he gets too big for his boots again make him work hard. Don't be affraid to be hard on him. He clearly knows he can get one over on you so boss him about and kick him on. If he is quite unfit then it will only take 10-15mins to knacker him.

Make sure he has a good 5-10min walk to warm up then send him on. Don't let him drop off keep him going. Keep it interesting and add in a jump if he has ever learnt to jump.

Sometimes you just need to be hard on them to get it out of their own heads to be stupid.

See this is what I would do hence why I asked about lunging, if you keep there brain busy they forget about spooking, I know I have Arabs they tend to spook when they are not doing very much, the harder they work the less spooky they are.

 

[Eloisee]

See this is what I would do hence why I asked about lunging, if you keep there brain busy they forget about spooking, I know I have Arabs they tend to spook when they are not doing very much, the harder they work the less spooky they are.

Haha.. he’s an Arab cross .. and yes, if you don’t constantly keep him thinking or he tries his luck once he’ll keep doing it. Hence my vicious cycle right now

I do want to just lunge him and run him dry but think I feel like I have to bring him back the correct way because of his age and out of fear of judgment.

 

[claret09]

lunge him first

 

[Lyle]

Maybe a good groundwork trainer would be a good step? If he's a spooky horse on the ground he's going to be a spooky horse under saddle. Groundwork is wonderful and you can have a lot of fun connecting with your horse through body language, and building the relationship between the two of you. There's lots of good videos on youtube, you can start there until you find a style that clicks with you, then find someone who can help train the two of you?

 

[EllenJay]

In a perfect world I do want this
However .. without disrespect to my wonderful YO she isn’t a highly qualified instructor so to speak and I don’t really think I would get all those benefits you mentioned. She’s cheaper than an instructor that would be able to come to me and offer this. I work a minimum wage job so I would really like to have a more experienced instructor for when I’m a little more in the swing of things

With all due respect to your current instructor, if she can't teach you in walk, what is she actually teaching you? Everything I mentioned is quite basic schooling. If I were you, I would look for another instructor. You need to get the basics right, your confidence and the pony's attention.

 

[littlefluffball]

You got on. I exercise an ex racer and he certainly has his moments. there are times where I have felt completely defeated by him - but I have always made sure I have got on. Even if it is ten minutes doing something I know he can do well - or ending a bad session with something I know he can do well.

Horses take us to our highest highs and our lowest lows.

I found pre lungeing before riding helped (though last night it wasn't necessary as the temperature has already taken the fizz out of him!) Get him listening on the ground and tire him a bit.

 

[Ellietotz]

It's a step forward at the pure fact you got on.

But I do want to ask, why do you own him if you are scared to ride him? I understand people form bonds/get attached, I am exactly the same. My mare scared me at first and I'm stubborn, I wouldn't give up but that was because of my own confidence, not what she was doing, she was just fizzier and sharper than I was used to. If your horse is highly strung and spooky, you can either get used to him eventually by keeping on trying or find something more suitable? You and the horse both have to enjoy what you do at the end of the day.

 

[southerncomfort]

You got on when you were feeling scared...that's an absolute success.

I think it was John Wayne that said 'real bravery is being scared to death but saddling up anyway' (or something like that).

I agree with the others about the benefit of lessons because you need something to focus on and so does he.

My daughter's pony gets bored quickly and gets very mischievous if left to his own devices so you always need a plan in place and work him from the minute you get on.

Many people here have been where you are now and managed to make a successful partnership. You'll get there too. 🙂

 

[Eloisee]

It's a step forward at the pure fact you got on.

But I do want to ask, why do you own him if you are scared to ride him? I understand people form bonds/get attached, I am exactly the same. My mare scared me at first and I'm stubborn, I wouldn't give up but that was because of my own confidence, not what she was doing, she was just fizzier and sharper than I was used to. If your horse is highly strung and spooky, you can either get used to him eventually by keeping on trying or find something more suitable? You and the horse both have to enjoy what you do at the end of the day.

Because I’ve had him 7 years and these things he does never used to bother me. I was a confident teen. But I’ve been out of regular work with him for 3 years due to uni. He’s also 22 now and has cushings so I couldn’t sell him - I also doubt any confident teen is interested in loaning a pony that although is fun fast and quirky won’t jump or hack

 

[texenstar]

I'm going to go against the grain here and say that just lunging probably make much difference. With my mare, lunging gets her more wound up! Some days I have success with doing some proper in hand work with her to get her listening and other days I have to bite the bullet and just get on. Perhaps find what the secret is with you guy!

 

[MyBoyChe]

Wont working him hard until hes tired ultimately produce a fitter horse though? Every day it'll take a little bit more work to tire him and the OP will just end up with a fit, naughty horse that she is scared of!!

 

[Hormonal Filly]

I don't think he got the better of you, well done for getting on!

Do you have any livery friends who are more confident and could ride him first?

 

[Eloisee]

I don't think he got the better of you, well done for getting on!

Do you have any livery friends who are more confident and could ride him first?

Unfortunately not - they all have very placid confidence givers and I wouldn’t want to put them on something they aren’t used too

 

[SpringArising]

Wont working him hard until hes tired ultimately produce a fitter horse though? Every day it'll take a little bit more work to tire him and the OP will just end up with a fit, naughty horse that she is scared of!!

He's being 'naughty' because he's bored and has too much energy. It's exactly the same as us - if we do jack all day in day out, we become bored and unhappy. If we do 30 mins of intense exercise every day, yes, we're much fitter, but we're also happier, and in a healthier, more relaxed frame of mind.

Tired horses are happy horses.

 

[Pinkvboots]

Haha.. he’s an Arab cross .. and yes, if you don’t constantly keep him thinking or he tries his luck once he’ll keep doing it. Hence my vicious cycle right now

I do want to just lunge him and run him dry but think I feel like I have to bring him back the correct way because of his age and out of fear of judgment.

Ha ha Arabs eh I love em but they can be tricky, they are very clever and need lots of difficult things thrown at them, I would teach him some new things in hand lateral work and while you ride, sometimes just going sideways or a bit of shoulder in takes thought and concentration, teach him to go off your voice on the lunge mine lunge purely from a voice command.

 

[Antw23uk]

I think you did excellent getting on last night. There is nothing worse than not wanting to but forcing yourself anyway BUT it is the only way. You have to fake it before you make it! So thats my encouraging bit ... for the not so good bit, i think he is royally taking the p*ss out of you and he is effectively walking all over you. He needs a job, he needs to buck up his ideas and listen to you and you need to step up and give him what for if he prats about on the lunge or under saddle, he is just being rude! A rude, bored fat horse is an accident waiting to happen. You need to firmly lead this horse and say enoughs enough and its time to work. You get 23 hours a day to do nothing, spook as much as you want and be an idiot .. you WILL NOT do it for the hour or so i want to play horses!

 

[Eloisee]

I think you did excellent getting on last night. There is nothing worse than not wanting to but forcing yourself anyway BUT it is the only way. You have to fake it before you make it! So thats my encouraging bit ... for the not so good bit, i think he is royally taking the p*ss out of you and he is effectively walking all over you. He needs a job, he needs to buck up his ideas and listen to you and you need to step up and give him what for if he prats about on the lunge or under saddle, he is just being rude! A rude, bored fat horse is an accident waiting to happen. You need to firmly lead this horse and say enoughs enough and its time to work. You get 23 hours a day to do nothing, spook as much as you want and be an idiot .. you WILL NOT do it for the hour or so i want to play horses!

Yes I 100% agree with you. He did not used to behave in such a way when he would get a right telling off before when he acted up. I got after him and rode him. But I’m being too soft because he’s unfit and older now.

 

[Antw23uk]

Yes I 100% agree with you. He did not used to behave in such a way when he would get a right telling off before when he acted up. I got after him and rode him. But I’m being too soft because he’s unfit and older now.

Unfit, no excuse ... Older? ... good lord he should know better then, lol .. no excuse You get after him. You dont have to beat a horse and scare him to give him a good what for. I think loosing your sh&t once in a big way will probably make him buck up his ideas immediately and then just the odd growl will keep him in check, lol Good luck and enjoy your next ride.. remember .. ride it like you stole it