Head or heart- advice needed please!

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HeadOrHeart

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Im using a different account as I would like some very impartial advice. I apologise if this appears deceitful but I would like to remain anonymous for the time being.
I have 2 large young horses at present, neither of which are doing any work. I have some complicated family commitments which can mean that there are periods of time where Im unable to do quite as much as I would like. Although this situation is likely to change slightly in the non too distant future allowing me more free time.
Anyway my dilemma is purely this: I love and adore both of my horses, I have had plans for them both but due to also having depression I struggle with motivation. I could sell one or both of these horses and get myself a heavy horse which I have a real passion for. An allrounder that could do a bit of everything, a bit like Hovis if you like?
Or keep these and really work at it to get things going how I want. The biggest hurdle in this is that I truly love these horses with all my heart and the thought of parting with either breaks my heart. I could not afford to buy another horse without making a sale so loaning is not an option. I would like to add that Im not a beginner but would consider myself as somewhat green :)
If any body would like more details you may PM me and I will be more frank, but this is all the information I wish to post on the open forum. Your time and honesty will be very much appreciated.
 
I had great fun when I had a youngster and an older all-rounder who did dressage, hacked out, jumped, etc. I thought this was a preferable situation to two youngsters. I'd work the greenie and then ride my older horse and it felt as if I could turn off my brain as the older horse just did her job. You didn't have to think all the time and be trying to stay one step ahead of her like you do with a youngster. It also meant I could pony the youngster out on the trails before risking my neck riding him out there. I also found a braver friend than me (she did Western trick-riding -- look it up and ask yourself, are your balls that big? Would you deliberately hang off the side, front, or back of a galloping horse? I wouldn't. My friend is properly brave) to canter him for the first time on the trail, safely cruising behind me on my schoolmistress. So that's the other advantage to having a young horse and a trained horse. Your experienced horse can be a great role model for your greenie.

Two youngsters is a big burden to take on, especially if you are "somewhat green." You could certainly benefit from selling one and buying an experienced drafty thing to play around with.
 
The questions I would ask are: Are they both young horses? Are you paying livery costs or do you have your own land? If they do not desperately need work and you are not forking out ££££s to keep them then I would get yourself sorted, stop fretting about the horses and maybe give it a rethink in a couple of months?
 
Hello again. I think a little more info would be beneficial.
The horses live out with a heavy horse, all year round.
They do not cost me a fortune to keep. One is of riding age, the other is not.
I have developed a big lack of confidence in all areas of my life and this most definitely includes riding the youngster. I am fine on more experienced mounts.
Seriously hurting myself through falling etc would cause me a big issue with family circumstances.
I have a wonderful bond with both horses, for different reasons and in different ways.
Thank you for the input so far.
 
I think I would sell the rideable youngster and get yourself a heavy horse. Hopefully the heavy horse will build your confidence and give you the motivation you need again by the time the unbroken one is of a ridable age.
 
Could you loan a heavy horse? If it's the capital that's the problem rather than the day-to-day cost?

The most sensible option would be to sell one of the youngsters and get the heavy horse, but if you have time and money to keep 3 (and it really would upset you to lose one of the youngsters) then I would be tempted...

(I am NOT sensible)
 
Could you get someone to loan the youngster? I have had similar in some ways - I have a youngster who I backed/started to back at the beginning of the year. However, it all went a little wrong (I got chucked off twice), he then reacted adversely and violently to a saddle being put on. Turns out he's in pain. At the same time (beginning of the year) I was not having a good time at work and thanks to a bullying boss my confidence in my ability to do things was really knocked and this seems to have affected my ability to get my confidence back with my youngster.

However, I am (trying to anyway) ignoring pressures to get him going. He's 4, I (in theory have a lot of time) and I need to get the trust back. I work full time 5 although now in a new job as quit the previous one! It's not easy. I feel I'm not doing enough but I doubt my own capabilities, then one day I feel I can tell myself to get a grip. The next day I am back down to feeling hopeless.

it's not a nice feeling and I do not want to give up but I need to get my confidence back and that's not as straightforward as I thought. I don't think I appreciated how much the stress of work had affected me.

As said in my first post, don't over-think it, don't feel you HAVE to make a decision if your pressures aren't financial. I think people sometimes feel they need to do something with their horses as otherwise they are 'wasted' but in reality the horse has no clue and is just happy eating and having companionship.
 
Thank you for the responses, they are much appreciated :)
Im trying to sort it all out in my head at the moment. I realise my horses do not understand the concept of being "wasted" and in all fairness they are both happy and relaxed.
I feel that perhaps I am putting too much pressure on myself to do everything at once. The younger of the two needs sensitive handling and we have a fabulous relationship but I dont plan on doing much with him until next year, except teaching him some manners!
 
It might be worth just giving yourself a break from riding for a few months, keep both for the time been but just chill for a bit. I was in a situation last year where my horses were taking all my time and money, plus I'd had a fall and lost confidence - I ended up selling one and turning my old boy away for a year. But now I'm back into it and enjoying my riding again, with hindsight though I wish I'd kept the one I'd sold, although he has done more than he would have had I kept him.
 
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