Heartbroken and in desperate need of help

I know its abit away and im not sure how much you pay atm
but in messingham there is a yard called mells farm which i am at.
Its only £16 a week for grass + hay in winter plus all additions on the yard.

theres always people down, And ide happily help out.
let me know!
 
There are retirement homes all over the country but they charge I'm afraid.
going rate is around £25 to £50 a week.
I can put you in touch with several I know of if that helps.
We no longer accept new horses as my husband and I realised if most of them live another ten years I would be wandering fields in the rain aged 70, so we turned any enquiries elswhere.
You could try the WHW (ILPH), redwings, Happa, various small charity homes but all will expect you to sign over ownership to them.
I think your best bet is to search for a comapnion wanted, on the understanding that if he gets in worse pain, he is euthanised.
I think looking at his quality of life should be your first step, if he is in pain now, then let him go. If not try and find a home for him.
I see adverts now and then for companions, so they do exist.
 
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YO's old horse had to be retired after going backwards over a fence and damaging his back. She spoke to the veteran horse society and they were able to put her in touch with some people - he was 12 so didn't qualify as a veteran and they couldn't take him.
 
So sorry to hear your news. It must be heartbreaking for you.

However, I'm afraid that I have to agree with harlequin35. I don't think it has to be the end of the world just because the horse can't be ridden anymore.

I don't ride my horse at the mo cos he's too much for me but someone else does and I'm paying for his livery with no assistance. I did put him up for sale to begin with but am too attached to sell him and I just think that, "ok, he's a big expensive pet, but if I choose him to be a pet, then so what!!"

I'm quite saddened to hear that the vet gives you the option to PTS just because the horse can't be ridden anymore. I mean, we're not in the 'Black Beauty' era where your horse meant your livelihood.

If the horse can be comfortably kept and is happy to daunder round a field all day then let him. It is too easy to play god when there is not a good enough reason for it.
 
Here here! Someone who agrees with my earlier posts!

You're right, we're not living in the nineteenth century and it's about time more people started taking responsibility instead of trying to pass the buck.

Lameness/loss of riding doesn't necessarily have to mean a death sentence, and if it does, then that's a hell of a nasty big burden to live with.
 
Having kept an unridable horse for over 15 years, initially on DIY livery and then for the last 10 years at home, I would not move an unridable horse on. If he can be kept field sound then do so, if not have him euthanased. If you really feel that he cannot be kept (maybe as a companion for your own horse, that was the job that ours did) then rather than risk the horror stories we all hear about companion horses, then please take the kindest option and have him PTS. I would look at DIY you may even be able to afford a third one with the savings you make in keep.
 
I certainly don't mean to make you feel worse or be cruel in any way as I'm sure you are very upset but why can you suddenly not afford to keep this horse when you could before??????

It just seems to me to be like getting a puppy at Xmas. Once the attraction has worn off, it gets dumped. How do you think rescue centres have come about? For this very reason!

A horse is different from a puppy I know but you have a responsibility to that animal to look after it and care for it to the best of your abilities. You should not take on an animal until such time as you recognise that and I think more people should be prepared to keep that animal for the rest of its days if necessary.

Please see it from the horse's perspective. It has been a loyal, trusted friend and then once it is not up to scratch, it's for the scrap heap. What a sad, sad, world we live in.
 
i had to retire my horse 2yrs ago because of lameness, but he is 100% happy in the field. i could never destroy him because he cant be ridden anymore. i couldn't afford another horse until recently and it's a massive stretch for me now - i'd be comfy if i didn't have to pay for my old boy, but i feel it's my duty to give him a retirement even if that curtails my riding. i couldn't just farm him off on someone else or have him pts because he's outlived his ridden career. he now enjoys a life of luxury on a friend's stud living out with her broodmares. full livery is £120 a month and i go visit every few weeks. when we buy a horse we take on a responsibility towards them in sickness and health. i just dont think it's right to try and get rid of them if they cant be ridden anymore.
 
hey,
really sorry to hear this.
you are in exactly the same situation i was last may with corky.

I know everyones circumstances are different - but i just couldnt let my horse go without fighting for him.
my own vet came out to see him - 20 mins after i brought him home from the vet college in tears.
with my vet and my farrier we have worked out a way of keeping him comfortable and happy.
he costs me a fortune! - his specialist shoeing costs me £110 - and thats for front shoes only!
he is 17hh and WAS on 2 bute a day - he is only on one now and he runs around the field with his little pal.
he has the run of 3 fields and if i shut one field gate to restrict the grazing - he just jumps it!!

im sorry honey that you feel you cant look after him now - can you not do what i did and find him a field?
it took me a while but i now have a fab field with just corky and my youngster in it.

i do also agree with what some of you are saying - that a horse is for life.
however - please please dont judge this lady - if she is anything like me she is thinking out loud and using us as a sound board - just as i did last May.

pm me hun if you need to talk.
 
In your post on 1/5/08 when you knew that there was a possibility that Sidney may not be sound again you said your husband would do right by him but still considered if he became sound enough to hack or do dressage you would sell him on. It seems a shame that you would consider letting him go on permanent loan if you could get someone to take on what could eventually be a constant vet bill. Why do you have them on full livery? Try and rent a field and put a double field shelters in that can double as stables in winter and look after them yourselves. This to me is the real test of a horse lover it is not just riding them and have someone else do all the caring. This way you could keep him yourself as a companion (No one will look after him like you) If you really can't look after him than try Redwings they took on a horse that could not be ridden from someone I know although he was old and Sidney is only 11. But if you can't afford him now how would you have paid for large vet bills and a top dressage instructor. I'm sorry if I sound harsh while you are so sad. But maybe you need to look at whether you really want to be a horse owner or just a rider. Your OH could always hire a horse for jumping and you could just go to a riding school and hire a horse for an hour or two as when on full livery the riding is all that it entails. You could then have a lot more money as I'm sure in the end this would be a cheaper option. No feed, rugs, vet bills, shoeing and livery charges to pay.?
 
Oh CRAP, how absolutely devastating. I'm not surprised you're heartbroken. All I can think of, apart from loaning him out as a companion, is offering him to a stud/similar as a babysitter for the youngsters... this is common practice here, not sure if the same in the UK.
 
Really sorry to hear this and I hope you can find a nice home for him.
Remember, only you know the full story and are in a position to make a decision. I think some people here have been harsh with you here at a time when you really don't need it. Some people may be happy to keep an unrideable horse for years, others may not be in a position to do so - it is a personal decision and you should not be judged on it.
Give yourself a bit of time to come to terms with the news you have had and have a look at your options for rehoming. Then you can make an informed decision about what is best for your horse.
Take care x
 
Ignore the harsh comments - this country seems to be full of 'do-gooders' that make off the cuff, knee jerk remarks.
Would love to have a poke around their lives to give them some home truths! Are they so perfect? Bet these are the people who tell everyone and consider themselves 'experts'.There is one of every yard it seems!

I hope you find a happy outcome -personally I wouldn't put the outcome on here as the 'expert' crowd will find a fault somehow - even if you re-homed your boy with the Queen! Rollocks to them and the best of luck to you and fella xxx.

I'm off my soapbox now xxx hugs xxx
 
So sorry to hear your news - you must be devastated.

But what ever you do don't rush in to anything. I'm not sure what kind of livery yard you are on - but perhaps a cheaper option is available, which would enable you to keep two horses??

Having had to make a very painful decision last year myself I can absolutely sympathise with you - as you know I had Amy pts. However, if there were two salaries comming in to my house that simply would not have been an option, and she would still be in the field now.

Don't rush in to anything - you've had the most awful shock.
 
((((((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))

I would look into either DIY livery or retirement livery. If that is not a possibility, then i would keep him for the summer in a lovely field of grass and pts before the winter. In that time someone you know may come along who needs a companion.

You dont have to make any decisions right away so sit back and take the time to consider all options.
 
I'm sorry but if I loved my horse that much I would keep him no matter what, even if it means having to pay to ride another horse as and when. I couldnt just put my horse out for someone else to look after when supposedly means so much to you...
 
I am so sorry to hear your news and do know exactly how you are feeling. Please ignore the harsh replies on here, it is very hard to know what you will do until you are actually faced with the situation. It is all too easy to say that you will keep a much loved horse for life no matter what, however when faced with the reality of the situation, things aren't so black and white.
I would not do anything in a hurry - what is Sidney's long term prognosis, will he be field sound, or need constant medication/remedial shoeing/etc.?
A year ago I was told that the best I could hope for with my mare was that she would be field sound - a year later I am gently hacking her out and she is fine. So please don't give up hope.
 
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I'm sorry but if I loved my horse that much I would keep him no matter what, even if it means having to pay to ride another horse as and when. I couldnt just put my horse out for someone else to look after when supposedly means so much to you...

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It is obvious from Sid & Hovis's mum's post that he does mean a lot to them - otherwise they would have had him pts without a second thought. You are quick to judge and say what YOU think - but this isn't about YOU. All you are doing here is making a judgement on someone else, who'se full circumstances you do not know and not even making any attempt to offer any help or advice as others have tried to do.

If you have nothing constructive to offer a person who is obviously going through a great deal of heartache at the moment then back off!
 
Paying for a horse to be in good retirement livery is no different to paying for full livery surely, just a lot cheaper as you are not paying for the extra facilities.
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As the OP is already in full livery, if she wants to keep Sid and cant DIY then this is a more financially viable option.

H- I hope she was replying to me!
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I am so sorry to hear your news and do know exactly how you are feeling. Please ignore the harsh replies on here, it is very hard to know what you will do until you are actually faced with the situation. It is all too easy to say that you will keep a much loved horse for life no matter what, however when faced with the reality of the situation, things aren't so black and white.


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some of us have been in that situation though. i made huge sacrifices to pay for my old boy's vet bills and then went without riding for 2yrs as i couldn't afford to keep 2 horses, let alone buy a new one. that horse has a home for life with me, as long as he is comfortable and has quality of life. if finances get difficult i'll sell my ridden one before i do anything with my old boy.

in my honest opinion, and this is my opinion, quality of life is the most important thing. i would not have any qualms about putting to sleep a horse who was going to struggle through day to day life or putting to sleep a horse who had no ridden future and i really could no longer keep, but this would have to be because i really couldn't keep it in any way, not because i just couldn't ride it any longer and keeping it would mean i couldn't afford a new one to ride.

horses have no concept of the future, therefore no concept of not having led a full life, but something just doesn't sit right with me about getting rid of one because you can no longer ride it. surely if their life is worth living, they have some kind of right to live it. i'm no animal rights activist - my daily life consists of putting animals to sleep, but every one of them is suffering in some way. i'm quite glad i deal with small animals really - i couldn't cope with the cut-throat attitudes of some horse owners.
 
I don't wish to get involved in any 'You should do this' Everyones situation is different and we don't know the real full story. Things are often put in distress and not the whole story. I read it as feelings of despair. Time is needed to sit back and think. I think support is needed at this time. When things have sunk in then it can be thought out rationally. All situations are different and i have to admit i have said some same comments but in other situations.
Fields and livery are hard to find in Lincoln - decent ones especially. Lincoln has a massive horse population, with land being built on for houses.
I do think support is needed. This is not a dig at anyone at all by the way. I gave a comment to the local paper last week about someone and it was printed! I meant what i said but it was a different situation to this.
Life is takeing a different course, it takes time to adjust and assess what to do for the best. Only HovisandSidsMum and her other half can truly make the right decision as only they know the 'real' situation.
I am sure advice would be welcome but not in a judgemental way in this situation.
I will do all i can to help. I think a listening ear would be welcome.
 
Hi
I was in the same situation as you a few years ago, but managed to find a fantastic retirement farm for my mare.
Fortunately she is more than happy to live out 24/7 and as this farm offers just that, the livery costs I think are very reasonable.
www.horseretirementlivery.co.uk
My mare has been there about 3 years and is as happy as larry!!! They have a mixture of horses including TB's who all live out all year and always look very well.
If you want any more info please pm me.
Good luck.
 
Have you talked to your YO?
If he's going to be field sound and happy to live out she may do you a cheeper rate? Especially if you mention that this will enable you to look for a new riding horse to be kept there on full livery to.
That's what my YO has done and it means Mac has enjoyed 1 year of retirement where he was still on the yard and in at night and 2 years where he's lived out with her older horses and he's fat happy and affectionate.

Sadly over the last 12 months his ilness is progressing, he's well and happy and on no medication yet but we're keeping a good eye on him.

Coudl be worth a chat? Also the veteran horse society were going to do a list of recommended retirement homes around the country.

If you want a comparrison for Mac to live out 24/7 it's £40 per week averagae and he gets hay and hard feed in the winter. I pay for feet trims and wormers on top.
 
All the do-gooders who say they wouldn't put a horse down because they couldn't ride it must have had better luck or much more money than me. If I hadn't had the last two horses I've had PTS I'd have five now in livery (some grass, some needing stables), some needing serious surgical shoeing just to be field sound and still have nothing to ride. You'd have to be mad to spend X thousands of pounds on a riding horse only for it to pack up work a couple of years later and then spend a fortune keeping it for no purpose for the next twenty or so years. A lot of people do it once or twice but then at some point you realise it is ridiculous and soul destroying.

I adored my last horse, as you can tell from your post you adore sidney. Don't farmers adore and live for the livestock they breed knowing they'll be taking many of them to market to be humanely destroyed and eaten? The people who think badly of you for being for PTS if your boy can't work are not in your situation. I was and I can sleep at night just fine knowing I chose PTS and getting a new horse to ride over just not riding. People do not genuinely want 16h+ horses in expensive shoes as companions - be suspicious of anyone who says they do. You may get lucky finding a home, I really hope so, but please don't feel bad if you do PTS, its usually the most responsible thing to do if you want a horse you can ride.
 
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Really sorry to hear this and I hope you can find a nice home for him.
Remember, only you know the full story and are in a position to make a decision. I think some people here have been harsh with you here at a time when you really don't need it. Some people may be happy to keep an unrideable horse for years, others may not be in a position to do so - it is a personal decision and you should not be judged on it.
Give yourself a bit of time to come to terms with the news you have had and have a look at your options for rehoming.
Then you can make an informed decision about what is best for your horse.
Take care x

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Well said!
 
I am so sorry to hear your news, its the worst possible scenario, not serious enough to have the no choice PTS option but tough on the bank balance. I agree with others in that if you really love this horse you will find an alternative, I am of the view that if a horse is paddock sound and happy then you owe him a duty of care. I also hate to see old horses pushed from yard to yard. My 17' has been in retirement for 9 years from the age of 11, and all I could think of was that he had a miserable first half of his life and I was bl'@@dy sure he was going to enjoy the latter.
 
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