Heartbroken - I don't know what to do!

[AJmoss]

I bought my 5.5 year old TB are just over 2 months ago. I have fallen head over heels with her .... but she bucked me off 10 days ago. She wasn't being naughty, I think it was just that I hadn't done anything with her for a few days and she got a bit boisterous. The fall has almost completely wiped out my confidence ... I don't know why. It wasn't a particularly bad fall, although I shook like a leaf and hurt my shoulder and ankle. I have come back into horses after a 20 year break and perhaps I was a bit hopeful when I bought my girl (being a young TB), but she was sold to me as sane, and came over as being very placid (unlike your typical TB).
She didn't put a hoof wrong before I bought her and don't actually think there's anything wrong with her. She had a little buck the first time I took her over a small cross-pole, and I laughed it off (didn't come off that time).
She has plenty of grass all day, then in the evening she's on Bailey's LO-CAL Balancer (for good doers) plus garlic and vitamin/mineral supplement, and a much less plentiful grass paddock overnight. I have contacted the supplement co and they are sending me something to use alongside as she could be in the 10% of horses that need an adjustment. At the moment I lunge her every other day, and otherwise generally spend a bit of time with her, grooming etc.
I've also booked myself on a confidence course for October.

The thing is .... should I sell her? Part of me is saying yes, but my heart's saying no, as she's such a loving horse and I'll miss her like crazy. My horsey mum keeps stating the obvious (not helping) by saying 'if you were confident, you'd have a nice horse', and I want to kick myself for not having more confidence.
What should I do??????????

 

[Ashkadog]

Get a good instructer who you trust and work on it from there. Maybe even one who can help you exercise her just once a week and that will help. Take it slowly but do get enough work into her otherwise you find you make excuses like "oh, but I didnt work her yesterday so I better not ride today or she will be full of it" etc etc. Remember she is at that age that she will try different things out to see what she can and cant get away with and these are the times when a good instructer can be invaluable

 

[shirley123]

don't beat yourself up about lack of confidence we all have a blip at some stage and after a twenty year break your blip came !!

. i had one 5 months ago and it was awful to feel like that - and i am not a novice

. anyway get some help in the form of a good instructor as soon as possible so this little blip does'nt get out of hand. you sound like you have a nice horse who's being well fed and getting fitter by the day. good luck x

 

[Skhosu]

Get an instructor out to help you!

 

[kerilli]

as above, find a good local instructor who is patient and kind and go from there. hopefully they'll lunge her first, then ride her for a bit, then you can get back on knowing she's in a good mood (essential if your confidence has been shaken a bit!) and have a nice lesson!
i wouldn't give up on her, it sounds as if you know why it happened so i'd just avoid those circumstances again. very best of luck!
btw, i'm in South Lincs, so if you get desperate, or you can't find someone local to ride her first for you, give me a pm!

 

[_April_]

2 months isn't long, I am sure if you get some help you'll be fine. It's worth trying anyway.

PS Kerilli - what a lovely offer

 

[AJmoss]

Thanks so much.

That's very kind of you.

 

[Nari]

Like the others I'd suggest getting a good, sympathetic instructor out. Maybe get them to ride her first?

Feedwise you really shouldn't need LoCal & a vit & min supplement because LoCal is a balancer designed to provide everything they need. I'd actually suggest dropping the LoCal for a couple of weeks to see if that makes a difference - I know it's meant to be non-heating but it's caused problems with both of mine. With Jim that's par for the course because he's very sensitive to feed but I wasn't expecting a problem with Little Un! Both were fine on a good general vit & min supplement.

Good luck & please don't despair, it's a blip & you can overcome it.

 

[skewbaldpony]

Another vote for a good instructor, and loads and loads of work/exercise - lungeing every other day doesn't sound enough - never mind the grooming, brush off her saddle patch and get on! Even if you just walk and trot and do turns and circles for twenty minutes (having lunged her first, maybe) it will be something.
Just my opinion, but the answer is usually work/exercise.

 

[dozzie]

Agree with the others. A good instructor.

Also you could lunge her before you ride, just to take the edge off her.

 

[Tiffany]

Firstly, I'm sorry you are having a confidence problem but don't beat yourself up about it! 2 years ago I never thought I would ride again after a really bad fall. I'm now competing in dressage/showing and doing really well so what a turnaround

I got myself a new instructor, concentrated on getting my confidence back for a few months and gradually started to do more and more. My fall happened when we were in a field hacking and even now my heart is in my mouth when I hack out but that's all in my head my girl hasn't put a foot wrong

It can take up to 12 months to get to know your horse and vice versa and you said she's not nasty so personally I wouldn't give up on her yet.

Good luck

 

[Groom42]

Agree with all of the above - especially taking a good 6-12 months to get a working relationship with a new horse. The first couple of months is often a lull before the storm - remember, she's been uprooted and stuck in a new environment/routine as well. Then they get their hooves under the table and start to see what they can get away with! A good,sympathetic instructor will be worth it's weight in gold. In my opinion, however sane on the ground, a thoroughbred is always a thoroughbred,and will need plenty of work and interest in order to keep that sanity under the saddle. I have one who is at his best worked hard and often - when he gets bored,he gets rude and destructive! You don't say how old you are, but at the risk of offending the "horsy mummy" - is she not riding fit and capable of helping you out more practically (by riding, and supporting), rather than fairly demoralising comments! Horsy Mummy notwithstanding - don't skimp on the Instructor - training your child, however old, is like teaching them to drive: a recipe for disaster!!!! good luck! PS My daughter and I also live in s.Lincs, and she has been a crash test dummy on more than one occasion, so add us to Kerrilli's offer!

 

[NicolaC]

If you are looking for a good instructor in South Lincs my sister is a very good teacher. She is one of the top pony club teachers and she also has taught all different ranges of people. She is a very sympathtic teacher and will take every thing at your pace, If you would like to have a word with her I can forward you her number.

 

[Jingleballs]

Get back/teeth/saddle checked to ensure the bucking is just excitement and not a pain issue.

I agree that getting a good RI will help you but you are still getting used to each other! I bought my first ever horse 11 months ago and he has never put a foot wrong but there are still days when I get on and feel tense and worry that something will happen as even after all this time we are still getting to know each other!!!

Just take your time and build your confidence back up!!