Hello and can you help me?

H

horsedr

Active Member
Joined
3 April 2009
Messages
30
Visit site
Hello, Im new to the forum but have been lurking around here for a while stealing all your help and advice
blush.gif


I feel a bit cheeky asking for some help straight away, but I ve had an awful weekend and could do with some famous HHO expertise.
I have a 7yr old ISH who I adore and have owned now for 7 months. I bought him as a steady confidence giver to have fun with. Id never been the most confident rider as I had broke my back riding some years earlier. He was perfect for me, safe to handle, not very forward going, been used in a riding school etc, but within a week of owning him he bolted as I was mounting and I fell quite hard, injuring my hip and severing some spinal nerves. This put me out of action for a couple of months, and dented my already very fragile confidence somewhat! His back, teeth and saddle were checked and were ok.
Over the past four months Ive been working on regaining my confidence with weekly lessons with a great instructor. Weve gone from me needing beta blockers to just sit on him to having jumping lessons and getting him working correctly into a nice shape. I was/ am so proud of him for being so patient with me, and we were starting to work so nicely that i (and instructor) thought we should have a go at some basic dressage so we entered an intro A test at a local club this weekend. It was a very low key affair and thought this would be the ideal oppourtunity to get us out and about.
I thought I had prepared well for this. Id practised loading him at home, then progressed to taking him to my instructors, and then I even hired out the arena we were to do the test in a couple of days before. I just wanted to give us the best chance of it going well. I didint care about the test or the score, just that we had fun and it went smoothly. It all went perfectly and he was so good, so I thought great! Our first show here we go!
Cutting a very long(!) story short it was awful! Started off with him refusing to load at home and running off around the yard. When we got him there he was prancing all over the place, being very bolshy and downright rude, and that was before I got on him! So you can imagine Im now shaking like a leaf, and would rather of stuck pins in my eyes than got on him. It took three people to hold him but I did get on, saying to myself Id just walk around the warm up, then hop off. He had a massive spook at nothing in particular, but then settled and he did some lovely work in the warm up. I wussed out at this point and withdrew. My reasons being that he was now lovely and calm, hadnt minded being with other horses and I wanted this to be a positive thing for us both. To do the test we needed to go through a very scary looking arch and I just thought hes done well, lets leave it at that and end on a good note. So jumped off so very pleased we had done it.
Well all hell broke loose when I tried to load again. He did his trick of running off and he did this about 5-6 times. The galling thing was he looked so bloody pleased with himself! Hed let you catch him, bring him to the trailer, get one hoof on, then set his neck and b**gger off! I was so worried that he was going to hurt someone or himself. Eventually he gave up and we got him on after about an hour and a half.
Im now left wondering what to do. Saturday really knocked my confidence again, and i had just built it up. I know that hes bound to be excited and me being nervous didint help him at all. I'll obviously work on the loading at home, but to be honest hes loaded many times before, he wasnt frightened and was being downright naughty, so how do I stop this?
Do I continue to take him out as this is the only way he'll calm down? But what will happen to my confidence by the end of it??
The people that were helping me were saying hes a bully and a thug, and he needs some firm handling. Hes normally so sweet, it was like he was possessed! How do I go about exorcsising him!
confused.gif


Just to add, hes on 4-5 slices of hay at night, topspec lite, and has at least 8hrs of turnout a day, and nothing has changed from that perspective.

Sorry for the very long and rambling post. Thanks to everyone whos made it this far!
grin.gif
 
Hello and welcome!!!

I am sorry your first post is all about problems, poor you!!! It sounds like you are doing all the right things, e.g. checking for pain, checking teeth/back/saddle, little food, a lot of turnout, good instructor and plenty of practice, so there is nothing new I could suggest.

There are some things that might help when he gets bolshy, some people find a Monty Roberts Dually halter to be really helpful, or using a bridle or chiffney may give you more control. Getting a behavioural expert may also help, but to be honest it sounds like your horse is taking the mickey.

Is it possible that this is just not a good rider/horse match? It is very difficult to come to this conclusion, especially when you have put in a lot of work and made such huge improvements, but is it possible that you are still nervous and this horse just can't deal with this? I don't mean to say there is any blame at all!! You have done everything right, but sometimes things don't work out between a particular horse and a particular rider. What does your instructor think?
 
Sorry to hear you're having problems. I feel your pain - I have a big horse who is exactly the same with loading! He isn't frightened, he just doesn't always see why he should have to!
smirk.gif
I would start off with getting yourself a Monty Robers Dually headcollar. It's worth maybe having a KElly Marks RA out to you as well - best £30 I've ever spent. I'm not a fluffy bunny hugger by any stretch of the imagination but the RA who came to me didn't offer to wave a magic wand, she looked at my handling of the horse and showed me where I was going wrong, what I should be doing differently, and how to change things. She also said that loading is a symptom (in my case, possibly in yours but I don't know without seeing it) of a general lack of manners on the ground - my horse was walking all over me and I was letting him. I did a lot of general groundwork with him to make him respect my space (he was bargy and rude), then progressed to loading. He now loads 95% of the time and he's learnt that life is general just much easier if he goes in. Load in the Dually as the pressure helps, and use a lunge line instead of a lead rope. Mine tends to get one foot on the ramp then run off backwards - with a lunge line, I can keep hold of the line, stay in the trailer, and keep the pressure on. Eventually, he realises that if he walks forwards, the pressure is released. Try not to get upset or angry with him, mine just gets worse if I get upset. I can't look at him when he's refusing to load, I just keep the pressure on, look at the floor, back towards him, and he gives in.

Booboos is right, it's worth thinking about whether you're a good match or not. However, we all go through confidence crises sometimes. What has your instructor said? Maybe get someone else riding him as well for a little while, see how he responds to someone else.
 
You did all the right things by practising loading at home and even hiring the venue
frown.gif
I think it's probably just a bad match I would sell and swap for something more suitable that you can get on and do things right away.
 
I have to say your situation sounds so much like mine was. following death of my lovely horse, I found another who was, so I thought absolutely perfect for me.
But it took me 8 months and 5 falls to realise he wasn't. 9 times out of 10 he was perfect to ride, but once in a while he would decide to buck. This meant my confidence got really knocked to the point that I just didn't want to ride him any more in case he did it again.
After my last fall I threw in the towel and found him a home with a lovely girl who can give him more than I could and he has never done it with her to my knowledge. It broke my heart to part with him, as I had thought he was going to be another 'forever' horse, but like so many have said, having a horse is supposed to be fun, not something to fear.
I tried a horse for the 2nd time on Saturday and if he passes the vet this week, then he will be my new boy. I am certain he is more suitable for me and he comes from somewhere highly recommended. The right horse is out there for you, as I hope my new one will be for me x
 
Hi,

Thanks for your replies.
I do agree with you he is just taking the mickey! We ended up loading him in his bridle and will do from now on until weve resolved this.
Earlier this year I had thought that maybe we are not a good match, and he needs a more confident rider but we had progressed so much and this is so unexpected and out of character for him, I did think we had got past my issues. He is extremely steady and good natured normally and has been used to teach beginners.
My instructor feels that he is suited to me, although does think he is lazy!

Its a tough one isnt it. I dont really want to sell him, obviously but I do take on board what you have said though. What I dont understand is why he switched from being so good in the week to being a monster!
Thank you x
 
Hi hun and welcome.

There are many, many people who have bought a safe and steady riding school horse and who are then shocked that they "change" after a while. The reason is that riding school horses work hard for their keep and they are expected to be saints. Any nonsense and one of the staff grooms/instructors/bold teenage helpers will hop on it for a lesson and re-establish the rules. When the horse then becomes privately owned, everything changes. The work load drops dramatically and often the calorie intake goes up dramatically. The end result is a livelier ride! To me, it doesn't sound as if your horse is doing anything other than being a horse. I bet he thinks he's died and gone to heaven now he's with you. But you need to get his feed/work programme sorted out. Get feed advice from an experienced and knowledgable person or ring one of the freebie feed helplines.

You say your horse bolted when you went to mount but was it that he just suddenly shot forward? Be honest with yourself. If he shot forward, maybe you caught him with a foot or something startled him at exactly the wrong time. I'd spend a few sessions with him just standing him quietly at the mounting block (did you use a mounting block or from the ground?). Then practice getting on quietly and immediately getting off again and rewarding him (pats not polos) if he's quiet. You say he was mostly a good boy at the show - any faffing about would have been as a result of YOUR nerves!!!! Doesn't matter if you'd hired the arena 100 times, the ACTUAL event is totally different and he would have picked up your vibes. Bet you were thinking "I hope he doesn't mess around loading today" and bingo, he will!

The loading thing you can turn around relatively easily. As he's loaded and travelled well already, you know it's not terror. Borrow a friend's trailer or lorry and start giving him a teeny chaff feed at the base of the ramp. Gradually up the stakes so he eats his teeny feed off the base of the ramp, then he has to put his front feet on it to reach the feed and so on. You can start to feed him IN the trailer/lorry but do give him 5 minutes to settle when he first goes in as an anxious horse won't eat. Every time you do loading sessions, give yourself as long as it takes and (as you did at the show) end on a high whether it takes 90 seconds to reach or 90 minutes! If he decides to be a tit about it sometimes, put him in a dually headcollar (or similar) and a LONG lead rope. Make him walk towards you a few steps , then back away, then towards, then back. Do this for ages. Gradually work round so that the "towards" puts him at the base of the ramp. Once he gets to the bottom of the ramp, the rule is he doesn't have to get on it until he's ready but NO turning away and he MUST keep his feet moving. To keep his feet moving, move him to the left and right and left and right, but NEVER let him turn away. Eventually, he'll get bored senseless with this and will walk forward. Even a HALF INCH forward gets huge pats and praise. Siffing the ramp and thinking about it os ok. But as you'll already have established that it doesn't frighten him. he MUST keep his feet moving. Be prepared for a sudden HUGE rush up the ramp. Immediately tell him what a stunning lad he is and take him straight off. Then do it again. And again. And again. Eventually, he'll do it with you leading him with a piece of knitting wool! See if an experienced friend will help in the first stages. At all times YOU must keep calm and NOT get drawn into your ned's tantrums. He sounds gorgeous, but he just needs a bit of help adjusting to not being a riding school ned x
 
It sounds like he was just wound up at the event. Speaking from my experience, my horse gets wound up if I am nervous. If I'm tense when we go somewhere, is goes straight down the reins to him and makes him worse. Perfect example... took him to a ODE recently and I was tense in the warm up. Rode like a numpty, horse got more and more wound up. The dressage was terrible, SJ was worse because I was terrified by this point. XC on the otherhand was brilliant - he loves it and I love it, we were on our own on the course, no one whizzing around behind or in front of us, no nerves from me so therefore none from the horse. I honestly think that when you're nervous, it transfers straight to them. If you can work on your nerves, you might find things improve.

Someone recently suggested to me that I break the day down into little milestones, and it really helps. Start off thinking about what you want to achieve - in my case, I was having trouble loading and was scared stiff of whatever I was going to do. So, broke it down this way:
1. Get horse loaded without any fuss, leaving plenty of time
2. Arrive ok, get horse settled
3. Get on board, warm up sensibly and don't get tense
4. Do test (if you're doing dressage)
And so on... each of these is quite a big achievement and I figured I could go home after any of them and still be happy I'd achieved them. It might help you to break it down this way.
 
Maybe it was a one off then! Everyone can have an off day, although it is disheartening and difficult to stop it from getting to your confidence! Think positive!

If the bridle solves the loading problem then maybe he needs it every time for now on for a while.

Also, would it be possible for your instructor to come with you to a show? Perhaps she could ride the horse in and do a test, then you could ride the next test (you can do all this H/C if you prefer so that there is no pressure to compete as such).
 
Hi Ceebee,
thanks for your reply. It is hard isnt it! But it sounds like youve found your new boy, and I hope it all goes ok with the vet. It gives me some hope!

I never normally dread riding him, and if I had been how he was on sat before he would have been long gone!

I know I sound like Ive got my fingers in my ears singing la la la and not listening to what you are all saying, but I am honestly taking your advice in!

But this is the first time hes been out of the yard in a "show" environment in the past 7 months ( and prob longer) and with all the excitement could that not account for his behaviour? Like I said when he settled he was perfect in the warm up.

He has only been naughty once before and thats when I came off. I had only had him a week, it was a dark wet and windy night, and I had literally been thrown over him by my boyfriend. In the meantime hes put up with me getting on, then off, then back on again. Walking around the school for hours with a shivering wreck on his back etc. Hes not all bad really!

Like I said I am listening though to your advice!
grin.gif
 
I'd try not to get too down about this. If we look at the positives -
1) you've obv come a long way since you got him
2) you did get him to load and got to the event
3) You were able to get on him and got some decent work out of him
4) You were able to get him to load and made it home with no injuries

This is pretty good!
it may be that he was pretty stressed as were you, horses react in funny ways sometimes and maybe the more you go out with him the more you will learn about him and what he needs.

For your first venture out I don't think this was too bad, when I took my mare out to her first event I couldn't even get on her she was so wound up, it tooks numerous shows, and mostly lunging at them before she would settle enough for me to ride her and actually compete in a class. She was also a buggar to load, but slowly we have overcome this - so it can be done.

Keep positive and take baby steps that you are comfortable with
 
welcome to the forum!

Was he competed in his past life? If he hasn't been to a competition for a bit (or if at all?) then it's like going to a party with lots of friends and he was full of adrenalin and ready to enjoy himself - trouble is, his enjoyment does necessarily take the same form yours does!

sounds like he was being a typical ISH - quick to act like a thug and take advantage of you when he sensed your apprehension

he needs to learn who's boss - and that if you're tense and nervous - that he still has to do what he's told!

You've done very well to get as far as you have - and you've probably got to the point where you persevere past this setback and find that he's as nice a horse at shows as he is at home.... but you'll have to get through the loading issue and go to lots of shows to get him settled................... or you say thank you very much for what he's taught you and the progress you've made, and get a different horse to help you with the next steps .....

up to you
smile.gif
 
Wow thanks for all your replies...!
Cant keep track...!

Chestnut Cob - Yes the Dually headcollars have been recomended to me, and I think the lunge line would definatley work as it would like you said allow me to keep the pressure on. I also agree that the prob most def lies with me, and my nerves at the event. The day just didnt start well..if you know what I mean! I will try to break it down in the future.

Box of Frogs- thank you so much for the exercises I will def give them a go tonight. I will not be defeated by his tantrums!!
Even if I do decide were not a match I need to sort out this loading issue as its just rude!

Thanks guys x
 
Personally I wouldn't worry too much. It's your first show. How many people go to their first show and everything is hunkydory?

All you need to do (yes, I know it's not that simple) is to take everything slowly. If your ned is working lovely now at home you are obviously getting on with him OK, though at a show everything is most more dramatised so you just need to allow for this to be the norm... so take him to as many places as you can. Just warm up there until you feel ready to start to enter. You don't even need to ride him, why not hire out some places to ride and take him to some shows and just poodle around, then ride in the warm up (after x amount of trips) then when you feel ready go for the actual test.


Loading wise, this can easily be worked on. If you have the funds why not get someone like Richard Maxwell who see's thousands of horses with loading worries (he will also add confidence with the general handling of your horse in those situations too) and get that sorted, if not practice at home and hire out places, etc as I mentioned above.

I bet though your nervs on the day played a huge part and this will go hand in hand. Your horse will of course pick up on this and can you blame him? If you can get out and about more if will take the pressure off of you, which will take it off your ned.

Best of luck..xxx
 
I don't think he necessarily sounds like the wrong horse for you. I'm sure you must have been quite nervous about the whole situation as you say it was the first time out for you both.
When I first had my horse it used to take 3 people to get me on when we were hunting! He now stands by the lorry on his own!
Could you get your instructor to ride him at a few of these things for you. If you could see him being well behaved it will help with your nerves.
The loading thing can be sorted with a chiffney and letting him know you're in charge - firm but fair.
Your story sounds similar to mine my horse can be v rude -but I now take my ned everywhere on my own. You just have to keep going with some good help.
 
Yes am looking at the positives. He was good in the warm up and I am under no illusion that the prob lies with me, and a little bit of thuggery on his part!
So do I persevere and keep taking him to places? What Im concerend about is if I cant control my nerves it has such an effect on him, that I wouldnt want that to become a long standing problem and him to become nervous too everytime we go out!
we have no high aspirations just local shows, fun rides etc.
I dont think hes been competited before, but he has hunted as a 5 yr old for a season. After that he was in a riding school
 
Yes, I would keep taking him out. He will get used to it. My horse is now 14, has hunted for all of his life and is having to get used to going to dressage and standing around between classes instead of getting to the meet, me getting straight on board, and moving off. He will get used to it in time, I'm sure.

Why not try things where there is no pressure? When I was having loading problems, I started boxing up my boy to friend's yards to hack. That way it didn't matter if he took 30 mins to load at home as I didn't have class times to worry about, and it didn't matter if he took ages to load at home. Get used to just taking him places first. Find places to go that you know will be really low key.
 
Did you have anyone there to help you?

it just takes the pressure off a bit which might help you to relax. I wouldn't necessarily be selling just yet but I would keep in the back of my mind that I have more horse to enjoy and if you are not enjoying it or able to do what you would like to happily and without fear then i think it needs considering.

I love having a pone that I can take anywhere and do anything. He was a complete plonka when I wanted him to wait in trailer yesterday because there were no other horses there yet and he got a bit angsty. But he doesn't worry me in the slightest if that makes sense.

As it was I unloaded him and dragged him round behind me whilst setting up a the dressage arena so he missed out on hay!
grin.gif
and once he worked out why we were there he was fine.
 
Taking things slowly has been what has got us so far, so wholeheartedly agree. There were times all I would do is get on him do a few laps around the school and get off, just as long as it was positive. Thats why I didnt compete on sat, despite feeling a wuss I dont feel its a race!
I also think hes a big boy with a little toddler brain and cant cope with much as his head explodes cue a lot of running around the show ground!
 
If he's only ever travelled to hunt or move home, it may have contributed to his excitement at the show. Try taking him out often and only doing what you are happy with and it will get better!
 
Hi ester,
yes i did have someone to help although she had actually come to look after some other people from our yard, and I kidnapped her! She was a godsend and I would have ended up in a big sobbing heap on the floor with dislocated shoulders without her!
I'll have to steal her again in the future!

ETS got an image in my mind of poor pony setting up boards, dreaming of his missed hay!
 
I think definitely keep taking him. Hopefully each time you go you're nerves will get better. He didn't do anything that bad and you didn't fall off. So next time you go you know what his worst behaviour is going to be. You dealt with it this time so will be able to again!
I also think it might help to see your instructor or someone else a bit more confident to ride him somewhere else. If he behaves with them there is no reason he shouldn't behave with you.
 
Good. I dont really want to give up on him yet, after his and my first time. I think Ive just put too high expectations on the poor lad, and expected him to be perfectly behaved when he was just excited. He def needs more work on the ground though. Hes strong and knows it!
 
Just wanted to say thanks everyone for all their help and support. Felt really down about it earlier but feel quite hopeful now, and its reassuring that people have been in a similar situation and its not just me!!
No 1 fan of the horse and hound forum!
 
Hi,
On top of what everyone else has said, it might be worth you joining a local riding club? Put the competitions on the back burner for a while and go and join in some low key RC clinics. Just get your confidence up riding your horse away from home with other horses around.
Do you have any confident friends that might come with you? It might be worth for the loading, popping a bridle on and then asking someone else to load for you. It's amazing how some horses can pick up on nervous tension of their handlers. Then when you are more relaxed about outings you might find it easier to do these things yourself.
Good luck
 
Hi,
Id thought about joining a RC. Theres one local to me that also do things like learn to massage your horse etc where you can take your own along with you. I know we prob need to work on the riding bit, but I thought that would be a "nice" thing for him to do and get out for without the pressure of riding.
what do you reckon?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top