Help! Advice needed on daughters pony

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jennieve

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Here is the long boring story....
Bought 6yr old (was already riding friends pony) a 10yr old Dartmoor mare, she was just off lead rein. First year, lots of falling off, pony a bit sharp. Second year much less falling off, but daughter just is not progressing. Pony is particularly unhelpful. Daughter is kicking so much she's losing balance, very difficult to get into canter, when we take her out the pony's eyes are on stalks and daughter is not capable of riding her. I get on no problem whatsoever. Couple of friends kids having lead lessons on her, she is a saint. When I ride her no trouble, she moves beautifully and is well behaved. Instructor says 'she's not the easiest'
I feel my daughter isn't learning anything and wants to start going out but isn't strong enough to be in control of her. Should I put her out on loan for a year? And loan another? I just think my 8yr old, very slight daughter is not enough for this mare and will lose interest.
She is distraught at the thought of her going away but I'm sure if we get a nice loan pony she'll soon get over it.
Sorry for ramble, just at end of tether!
P.s daughter rides very nice and quietly, but is starting to flap a lot to get any action
 
Loaning will only work if your pony goes to a more capable child so she comes back better than she left, if you have someone in mind that can do this it could be the perfect solution, if the pony just goes to be a lead rein or to a child of similar ability to your daughter you will be no better off, or possibly worse next year.
I would either sell as a lead rein, find somewhere to send for schooling or someone to come and work her at your yard, it may mean some investment but if the pony is otherwise good it will be money well spent. You do need to choose carefully who helps, they need to school her for a child not an adult, there is a difference and not everyone can get this right.
 
I agree with be positive. Other option is finding an older/ more experienced child who is no longer challenged by their own pony, & see if they could ride each others for a while?
 
I feel your pain. We are in exactly the same position. Told my daughter tonight we should look for another pony - she hates me. I just know that if we find an easier pony she will have so much more fun. But I'm writing out the advert for current pony and I don't know if I can do it. :'(
 
It sounds like this pony and your daughter do not make a good team to progress your daughter's riding. And it might be a really good idea to follow BePositive's advice.
 
Thank you for your replies, if we go ahead she will only go to more competent rider. I have thought about the schooling route, but my gut feeling is that she is not a first pony but an excellent second pony. She is not a bucker, never bolted, hacks beautifully on the lead rein just a stubborn uncooperative lady!
Toffeeyummy, It's horrible, daughter keeps crying. Then I doubt it that's bad and maybe all ponies are like this! OH is on at me to sell her, one minute I hate her then I can't bear her to go!
Wish I'd never got daughter a pony!
 
I feel comforted knowing I'm not the only heartbreaker! I feel like I've let her down. How about lessons for your daughter? Is she losing confidence?
 
She has them regularly, she hasn't yet but she does get upset when she can't get her into canter. She is starting to want to go to shows with some friends but is too scared as the pony is very lit up away for home. Taking her to a clear round next weekend, so it might all come to a head!
What's happening with yours?
 
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Loan her or sell her as a lead rein pony or second pony. As a parent of a small person almost the same age as yours I have bought older experiences schoolmasters for his lead rein, first ridden and now first SJ ponies. The pony IMO has to help the child. Fine to have a more difficult or novice pony if they have an experienced pony as a constant to keep confidence and develop their abilities, but not everyone is in the position where they want two small ponies. Her confidence is precious and she should be having fun. Best of luck
 
Agree with all the above. Would also add that I have come across several other parents who have thought that a Dartmoor would be good for a small child. They're not!! Don't get me wrong - I love them - but they seem to be too strong for little people and have too much of their own opinion of what they will and will not do!!!
 
Jennieve our pony too is very difficult to get into canter which is (very) frustrating!! But our main problem is his bucking which is the confidence breaker. Nothing major, just in excitement really. I gave recently got myself a horse and my dream was for me and my daughter to hack out together. But pony just gets too excited and my daughter gets scared so we stick to riding in the field. She is a very quiet and kind rider and he takes advantage of that. I'm sure with a more gung ho rider he would be great fun!
I just can't bare to sell him. My next plan is to look for a pony on loan and then keep current pony for my youngest daughter (5) to do lead rein on ( he is good on the lead).
I have an appointment for a new saddle this week as I think this maybe contributing towards the bucking. It's so hard isn't it. Good luck with the clear round, you never know it could be the making of them, especially when she thinks she's saving a sale!! It'll be her best riding yet!!
 
As a PC instructor I have said to several parents over the years that there is nothing I can teach your child whilst she/he is riding that pony - sometimes said tactfully, and sometimes not, depending on the scale of the problem.

Some have looked shocked and stomped off with child and pony in tow, insisting the problem is purely the child's fault and that they need to learn to fall off/kick like stink/have their arms pulled out of their sockets etc, and all that ghastly experience will make them into a good rider. It rarely does, unsurprisingly!

If you can afford to have two on the go, get another one so that she falls in love with that, and then put the other out on loan, if not you will have to be tough.

I agree with chameroo that Dartmoors are not really ideal riding ponies for children - I personally think they are great at converting poor grazing into manure, and competing in thelwel lookalike classes, but that's about it :)

I look forward to a deluge of photos showing small children successfully competing dartmoors now...
 
This is a tough one. I bought my daughter a shettie x when she was 5. She put her off completely. My son (two years older )took her on in the end and learnt to ride on her. It is a partnership and if they start to lose their confidence in them it cant always be worked through.
In the end once my son had grown out of her she went back to riding her to prove that she really wanted to ride.
She has got three now so it did work but I would if you can, get another on loan or lwvtb and let her realise that they arent all that difficult and let her fall for the new one then you can move the old one on as a lead rein. Good lead reins dont always make good first riddens.
 
it depends how much you rate thius pony and if she and daughter will ever be compatible.

It they could be good together then put her out and loan a more suitiable pony.
If not sell pony and either loan one then progress to loaning another/buy another or buy another now after selling your pony.
 
Been there done this. First of all its hard for a child to understand its not her fault,she loves her pony and they will forgive their pony anything even if they end up crying most of the time. Its like your Mum trying to tell you your first boyfriend rubbish.
We had an excellant safe first pony but he could have his moments, and me managed in the end by getting a second one who was not as good but had less personality than the first and when she was a year or so older she went back on the other one but I had the space to keep two.
If you can not keep two I perhaps would try and find a small riding school where you can keep the pony and let her have lessons on something else. It might just be that when her co ordination has improved she can get a better tune of of him. It may also show her that there may be a better 'boyfriend'
 
Could you get her another pony before letting the current one go? I know when mine was younger we always managed to do a crossover which made it so much easier for the daughter to part with the old pony when she was having tons of fun & a better time with the new one xx
 
carthorse said:
She is at the age when she needs a very good first pony. I would buy just that she will soon love her new pony. Theb sell the other
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This - sadly children are quite fickle and once they realise new pony equals safe, more fun etc she will love the new pony just as much. We were in much the same position as you a few yrs ago. Pony was lovely lead rein but awful as first ridden and daughter went off ponies for a year or two. Then got her an old plod on loan who is an utter saint and completely restored her confidence (but was a touch too big for her and too ploddy to canter/jump as he is 23). 6 months on we found an excellent fr through PC on loan and they are starting to really progress. Old plod is still with us though as daughter initially said she wouldn't get new pony if old pony went back to owner!
 
Thanks for all your advice.
Going to take them out this weekend, to see how daughter copes. Then plan to loan my mare out as a second pony and loan a smaller older one in. Don't have space for 3 where I am. Sure the tears will be bad but it will be worth it.
Love the boyfriend example-that I can relate to and I got over it!
 
Unfortunately small ponies are very clever! A lot of small children struggle to get a pony to canter on there own as they just aren't strong enough/legs aren't long enough and ponies will take advantage of what they can get away with.

We have the same problem with our dartmoor, my daughter is 6 and I often end up running in front of her to get pony to canter in the school, she's a dream out hacking (little cow)! But sometimes it's better the devil you know. It's a really hard decision, if you can double up for a while that would be the best outcome.
 
Haha I love the running in front to get to canter! Thought I was the only one. I'm often jumping the course of jumps with a little pony on my heels!!
 
We have a big group of little ones at our PC and most of us are racing ponies round the school lol!! She always ends up taking me over as I fall into a sweaty heap!
 
I don't think young children having too short or too weak legs to get a pony to canter is actually the problem. The problem is not having a suitably schooled/type of pony. Needing strong legs to get a pony to canter makes me think of having to use strong leg aids, which imo isn't the way to teach a child to ride. Until they are at a stage where they can improve a ponies way of going, I think its imperative they ride one that will respond when asked correctly with a light aid. Even if that's one that completely ignores the child, but responds correctly to a voice command from an adult, the child can still practice only correct aids, & get a result.
 
hi do you lunge this pony? just wondering you can teach your daughter on the lunge to canter, you can back up her leg aids with voice aids?

also the more you get the pony out the more relaxed they will become in new situations, maybe contact the local pony club there may be a slightly older child who is ponyless or has a lame pony who could share the pony from your base, this way you can keep an eye and the pony gets more experience.

i spent a large part of pony club not having my own pony/horse, i was able to borrow quite few interesting rides over the years and always appreciated this opportunity that i was given.
 
Its really difficult, especially when your child is upset, but another pony would be so much better for them. We had to swop my stepson's second pony as it was scaring him, even though he loved it. When he got used to his darling of a second pony that you could trust to help him and look after him, he loved it much more than the previous one. Now, years later as a teen, he actually says he is glad we changed his ponies.

Keep in mind that you're the adult, you make the sensible decisions, and you are not letting the children down, you are improving things for them (in the long run).
 
I used to lunge her a lot when we first got her, that resulted in a lot of falling off. The only time I feel the pony was truly a witch! Lots of dropping shoulder and shooting sideways. Do lunge her without daughter on occasionally and she is fine.
While I try and find a more experienced rider to share or loan I'm going to start riding her a bit and taking her out. See if she gets easier out and about.
Ideally I want to do a straight swop, I know easier said than done but there must be someone with outgrown first pony who'd swop for a second pony. She is not nasty, just stubborn. Moves very well and is easy to handle etc.
Even I feel upset now about her not being on yard, bloody pony!
 
Please note 'little legs' children having small legs are not the problem, ponies being ponies are the problem, most will take advantage of having a small person on board. School masters are very hard to come by, unfortunately a lot of small children have to learn to ride with a more difficult pony.
 
Littlelegs said:
I don't think young children having too short or too weak legs to get a pony to canter is actually the problem. The problem is not having a suitably schooled/type of pony. Needing strong legs to get a pony to canter makes me think of having to use strong leg aids, which imo isn't the way to teach a child to ride. Until they are at a stage where they can improve a ponies way of going, I think its imperative they ride one that will respond when asked correctly with a light aid. Even if that's one that completely ignores the child, but responds correctly to a voice command from an adult, the child can still practice only correct aids, & get a result.
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reidy said:
Please note 'little legs' children having small legs are not the problem, ponies being ponies are the problem, most will take advantage of having a small person on board. School masters are very hard to come by, unfortunately a lot of small children have to learn to ride with a more difficult pony.
Click to expand...



Which is exactly what Little legs said :rolleyes:
 
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