help-break a 12 yr olds heart - long

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sherbet

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Ok this may be long as need to start at the begining and I will say sorry in advance re spelling!

We have on loan to my 12 year old daughter a 13,3 mare, 13 years old with slight aritits. She can look lame when 1st ridden but works through it. Not on any "drugs" for it never caused us any problem had her 6 months.

The people we loan her from live a 2hr journey away they come and see her every 2/3 month ans have been very happy with how she is etc

My daughter has been out and about doing loads of her small local shows and pony club and seems to love it all. Loves being at the yard looking after her and riding. Mucks out every weekend

Had a e mail from the owner today saying a friend has offered to buy the pony as a compainon as they have brought a house with land - I dont know how much they have offered.
This would mean that the pony would not go back to the owner after our loan so they would not have to re home her

When we looked at the pony she was for sale for £500.00 inc tack, rugs but they said they would let us have her on loan

Now do I offer to buy the pony for £500.00 or let her go back and propbably be the worst mother if the world as far as my daugter can see!!!

Sorry so long
 
offer to buy the pony a £500 – just remember that this pony is old and your daughter will out grow her soon, so what do you do with the pony then?
 
I'd find out how much the other people are offering, then taking into consideration ponies arthritis and daughter age (likely to grow a fair bit), explain to the owners that you would maybe like to buy the pony and see if a deal can be done!

BUT...... what if ponies arthritis gets worse and she isnt up to PC anymore? what if daughter outgrows her in a year, and she is difficult to sell because of arthritis? what if (god forbid) daughter discovers boys and no longer wants to ride?
 
IMO it depends whether you have your own land or are having to pay for livery etc.

if on livery my thoughts would be to send it back, if I had my own land would probably keep as future companion, at 12 would hope that she would understand why it has gone back and look forward to new pony coming.
 
I had this, we had a super 13.2, my daughter was 9 years old and so was the pony
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They did very well and when she was 16 years old and having a nice easy life ,the owner wrote a leeter to say that they were going to send her to another friend for their son as we would probably not need her anymore.My daughter was heartbroken and we knew she would be out doing BSJA every weekend, which would now be too much for her.
I wrote to them promising to have her for the rest of her life and talked them into leaving her with us.
She is now,like my daughter 27 years old and still lives as she always has, now my granddaughter loves her.
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Good luck
 
Can you explain to the owners that your daughter will be heartbroken, and ask them to give you some time and leave pony with you for one last summer?

Then you have a chance to look for something else, and you have a few months to let your daughter get used to the idea of the pony going. You can explain to her that the pony will be going to a lovely home, and because of her arthritis it would be the best thing for her to be retired early before it becomes a real issue.

Also your daughter is bound to grow, and as she gets older she will want to do more and that will put pressure on the mare's joints, so I would worry that she is only of short-term use for you and as someone else said, you will then be stuck with a lame pony. Perhaps the owners are already thinking along these lines and that's why they want her to go as a companion. Also if you can get another pony before this one has to go, then you both won't feel so lost without her as the new pony will hopefully be equally loveable.
 
I think it depends on your situation. As your daughter is 12 she may soon shoot up and outgrow the pony. If you have your own land and are happy to keep the pony for the rest of it's life then go for it (especially for £500). If not then maybe you should look for a new pony that will be easier to sell on in the future if your daughter grows out of it. I'm sure she would have just as much fun with a new pony too.
 
Think you do have to think if you can afford to keep the pony once your daughter has grown out of her and wants something that can maybe do more? Not sure if i'm right in assuming there's no younger siblings that would ride the pony once this daughter has outgrown her.

I would also consider what you would do with the pony if your daughter has grown out of her say in 2 years or so but the pony is perfectly capable of being ridden still and is not yet ready for retirement - would you loan her out then yourself?

It is difficult but kids grow out of ponies - if you have your own land then it's easier as you don't have the livery costs - we kept mine and my sister's old ponies although sold one of hers who was a brilliant 13.2 and at I think about 14 years old had many years left in him (think he's stil going strong now at 27!). it would have been silly to have just had him as a companion, too much of a waste.
 
Oooh I don't envy you. However, what everyone else has said makes sense. At 12 your daughter still has some growing and will soon grown out of the pony. And the arthitis will only get worse not better. I would start looking for a new bigger pony and let your current mare have a new career as a companion.

I think the owner has actually been very fair as the impression I get is that they are not selling the pony from under you and are giving you notice so that you have time to find a new friend
 
Thank you, you all make sense in different ways!! and good to have a non emotion side scene

To answer a few things: no I dont have land, no younger siblings

I agree 100% that she is not being sold from under me and can see it from the owners point 100% they probably fell bad but have to think in the long term

Thanks again
 
Difficult one this is, the trouble is she does sound like a bit of a liability with her arthritis, and you could end up stuck with her, i had this alot when i was growing up, with ponies being taken off me etc, as my parents couldnt afford a pony for me until i was 14, i remember at the time being upset, but you soon move on and to be honest it sounds like it wont be long before your daughter will want to go up a level, i personally would look for something else. Perhaps as a good will gesture they would let you keep her until you do.
 
I have no idea of your situation of how attached your daughter is to the horse. Presumably she knew it was a loan, and therefore likely to come to an end. She is going to get her heart broken some time in life, sadly it is unavoidable. If you can afford the pony and its upkeep, and your daughter wants to, then I would offer to buy it. If not, Kleenex and ice cream might help.
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