Help: Confidence issues & when to quit?

[TealH0rse]

Hi

I’ve recently been dealing with some confidence issues with my loan horse. I’ve fallen off more times lately than I ever have before and my body can’t take much more. I already have chronic pains from other issues so my fear of getting hurt is quite valid.

Started off with a couple of falls in canter and some bolting, so I stopped cantering her as often. Few days ago she bolted from a walk with no warning signs and I came off. We are thinking it was spring grass/being in season/potentially got stung or bitten but she didn’t indicate any of these signs before or after the incident. I tried to get back on but had a few bunny hops and jumped off before she could go again. She is never ever usually like this.

I just need tips for confidence. I love this sport and horses with all my heart and I know part of the current fear is because this only happened a few days ago. I just need to work on this as soon as I can and learn to enjoy riding again as I am close to quitting with my current mind frame.

I do believe it is my current horse causing a lot of the fear and I plan on riding my ex loan to see if I feel the same on him, but my confidence in general is lower regardless.

 

[AmyMay]

It’s a loan. It’s knocked your confidence. End it.

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

It’s a loan. It’s knocked your confidence. End it.

^^^ Yep totally agree.

Sounds like someone may have offloaded a problem horse onto you.

Please tek care of yourself. You are not only rapidly losing your waning confidence, there is also a real danger you may injure yourself physically. Please end the loan NOW before you get hurt. Then go and get yourself a supportive professional - on a schoolmaster horse for a bit - and get your confidence back!! You can do it.

 

[sbloom]

Chronic pain - see if Rider Reboot group on FB has anything to offer. Otherwise life is too short, there are lots of confidence coaches out there but without a horse that at least helps you feel a little safer you're unlikely to make progress and you don't want to get more broken. Be careful

 

[Skib]

Find another horse. Starting with very safe RS school lessons to reassure you. And maybe some lunge lessons to improve your balance.

Even after one fall I would be reconsidering this horse.

It is many years since I fell off in a school. Out hacking falls are more likely due to spooks and open terrain, but even when learning i didnt expect to fall more than once a year and in the last 12 years hacking out it has come down to three or four times.

But I would also think about selecting which horses you are willing to ride. Safety has to be a top priority. Yes, everyone falls at some point. But it isnt a priority and isnt compulsory, especially for older adults. I know good riders who have not fallen for years.

Please take care

 

[TealH0rse]

Find another horse. Starting with very safe RS school lessons to reassure you. And maybe some lunge lessons to improve your balance.

Even after one fall I would be reconsidering this horse.

It is many years since I fell off in a school. Out hacking falls are more likely due to spooks and open terrain, but even when learning i didnt expect to fall more than once a year and in the last 12 years hacking out it has come down to three or four times.

But I would also think about selecting which horses you are willing to ride. Safety has to be a top priority. Yes, everyone falls at some point. But it isnt a priority and isnt compulsory, especially for older adults. I know good riders who have not fallen for years.

Please take care

Thank you. This is good advice.

This is part of the problem. The falls have made me feel like a beginner again, when I know I have dealt with far more in the past without issues and have been riding for years.

She is known to be rather spooky and I’m very used to this with horses I’ve had in the past. I’ve had bolting too and been fine, she is just so strong and has such a big stride.

Bigger part of this is also realising that I don’t have that teenage fearlessness anymore and certainly don’t bounce back.

 

[Wizpop]

Good advice IMO from others re sending the horse back- sounds as though she has a problem somewhere- but it is not your problem to sort it out. Your fear is very valid and nothing to do with your riding ability. Quite possibly this is a pain related issue and I can’t imagine many of us would want to be a “crash test dummy.”
As someone else has said, get yourself on a reliable horse and watch your confidence soar!

 

[Goldie's mum]

This isn't your job, you're meant to be enjoying it. Have the confidence in YOURSELF to end it now. Then find a horse you enjoy, just for you, nothing owed, nothing to prove to anyone - you're worth it.

 

[TealH0rse]

Thank you everyone. Bittersweet but I’ll likely try some other horses soon. She’s not typically ‘naughty’ and this certainly isn’t common, but I don’t fancy risking another one of these temperamental moments.

Going to have a session with my trainer before making any big decisions, but it is certainly in my mind now that changing loans is somewhat of a solution.

 

[poiuytrewq]

The good thing about loaning, and I mean this in the nicest possible way is that if things are not right it’s not your problem. Send it back, don’t put yourself in danger for a horse you don’t own and have no obligation too.
*im not condoning loaners just ditching loan horses back broken or with problems, but this is a different situation.

 

[Ambers Echo]

Chronic pain - see if Rider Reboot group on FB has anything to offer. Otherwise life is too short, there are lots of confidence coaches out there but without a horse that at least helps you feel a little safer you're unlikely to make progress and you don't want to get more broken. Be careful

Fear is healthy. It protects us. It’s only a problem if you are afraid if something unlikely to happen or if your fear is disproportionate. There is nothing irrational about being nervous of getting on a horse who keeps putting you on the ground! I agree with those saying end the loan and find a safer horse x

 

[Wishfilly]

If the behaviour is out of character, I'd be worried something pain related was going on, and I'd want the owners involved. Have you discussed it with them at all?

Your confidence is really important, and some horses can knock it more than others. It's not worth trashing your confidence on someone else's horse.

 

[Ratface]

Please don't ride the horse again. You could end up with life-limiting injuries. Please return to the owner immediately and explain why.

 

[Birker2020]

Good advice IMO from others re sending the horse back- sounds as though she has a problem somewhere- but it is not your problem to sort it out. Your fear is very valid and nothing to do with your riding ability. Quite possibly this is a pain related issue and I can’t imagine many of us would want to be a “crash test dummy.”
As someone else has said, get yourself on a reliable horse and watch your confidence soar!

This was me and Lari to a tee. My fear got worse and worse as I was convinced he was going to dump me. My friend asked me if I was looking foward to my lesson and I said no I was terrified. Sure enough I got dumped about three strides away from the mounting block after getting on, but not because I was sending 'bad vibes because I was scared' but because the horse was in pain and objecting to my presence on his back.

I've got little choice with my horse as he belongs to me but as yours is a loan he needs to go back.

 

[mariew]

If it's a true bolt and she has done it more than once I wouldn't get back on, chronic pain or not! I'd not ride that horse again and find another share or riding school horse.

 

[splashgirl45]

If the behaviour is out of character it might be worth a few checks, is the saddle causing a problem, has her feed changed if not cut everything apart from balancer out and just let her have grass and hay if needed. Does she need her teeth doing, that can cause bad behaviour.. again, the old one, could she have ulcers, that could cause bad behaviour as well. If all is ok and you don’t want to give her up lunge her for a good 20 mins before getting on and see if that helps . If you don’t want to do any investigations as she isn’t yours, is it worth having a chat with the owner?

 

[Old school]

Sometimes we can shut off the voice of our 'gut instinct' and maybe rename it 'loosing confidence'. It reads that you are very experienced as a rider. It might be that your confidence is being dented by the horse, as opposed to you loosing it. Agree with the above, stay off that horse. If you get the chance to sit on a safe animal, you probably will have tons of confidence.