Help! Convincing parents to let me ride during the week...

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bgb

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I am really struggling to find the time to ride now the clocks have gone back. My non-horsey parents, as much as I love them and the support they give me, just do not get it that I need to ride during the week. I was hoping to get out and jump round some 1.10/15m courses and ride some elems over winter in preparation for a step up to novice BE next season. However, the horse is never going to be fit enough or prepared if I can only ride at weekends. I rely on my parents for a lift to the yard so it is tricky. Alternative travel options aren't available or safe otherwise I would be bus-ing/cycling there every day! How can I persuade them that it is important to his performance? (Also my sanity after a tedious day of school!)
 
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The girl who keeps her horse at livery with me rides Weds afternoons instead of her games lesson would that be an option for you, her school allows this as it counts as an activity and she is sometimes part of the equestrian team at interschools comps, your parents may be more accommodating if the school approved.
 
I would suggest trying to make a deal. I would also start with a small amount of riding in the week(once or twice) so as not too push your luck.

How about "if you can take me to the yard two nights a week for an hour, I will make sure I do my homework as soon as I come in the door and make sure I keep my bedroom clean and tidy at all times. I will also help cook dinner/walk the dog / insert chore that would helpful to your parents"

Think about what your parents would be doing with their time if they were not being your taxi service and see if there is something you can do to make the time up to them.

I guess it also comes down to the reason. Is it because they think your schoolwork will suffer, or if it because they don't have the time to take you?

Hope this is of some help:-)
 
Unfortunately, we have games in the morning and I have to be there to play hockey. School is also a long way away from the yard! I hadn't thought of that one though so thanks, may be useful in future :)

I keep up with school work - doing my highers this year and I know they cannot suffer. It is a mixture I suppose of them thinking my grades will slip and being busy. I would never expect them to be at my beck and call as I know they have things to do too. If only we didn't have to sleep and then everything could be achieved!!
 
Why not see if there is anyone in PC or anything who's horseless and would like to ride during the week?

I agree - make a deal with the parents :) The fact you are competing in and dedicated to a sport is admirable, they should be encouraging you :)
 
Pigeon said:
Why not see if there is anyone in PC or anything who's horseless and would like to ride during the week?

I agree - make a deal with the parents :) The fact you are competing in and dedicated to a sport is admirable, they should be encouraging you :)
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I know this sounds really possessive and bratty but I don't think my OCD would allow anyone else to ride him..but I suppose it is an option I might have to consider!
 
I think you need to make a deal with them - you need to do something in return for them i.e. extra chores, wash your parents car, etc. Have you explained your hopes for BE next season to your parents? They might not actually understand what needs to be done over winter to achieve your goal so if you sit down and explain what you need to do over winter it might help them understand.

Also offering to do something helpful for them in return for them helping you out will definitely sweeten the deal! And maybe a nice bunch of flowers for mum before you ask her to say how much you appreciate her help with all things horsey wont hurt, you cant go wrong with bribery!
 
bgb said:
I know this sounds really possessive and bratty but I don't think my OCD would allow anyone else to ride him..but I suppose it is an option I might have to consider!
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How about if theres someone who would lunge him for you a couple of nights? I know its still not great but should help keep his fitness up a little better? If the ocd allows of course :biggrin3:
 
Could you strike a bargain that you'll be able to ride on certain days if you can prove you've completed all the set work you've been assigned/ a certain amount of revision? Something they can monitor easily, and also give you an idea of how you're coping with the work load with riding.
 
Going to be shot down in flames..... But

My teacher hat is on. Spend as much time as you can on your controlled assessment, revision, mocks and homework. I take it you go on exam leave may time? You have the whole summer and at 17 you can start to drive.

I am not saying don't ride but doing as much as you can so then your weekends are free will help. Could your yard staff or friend or instructor ride the horse for you? I know I sound a frumpy old battle axe but I'm not! The winter is always hard for us all, remember too your parents are supportive and you are so lucky. I see so many not give a stuff about their kids. They will want you to do well, so support them by trying your hardest and focusing. But also remember you need some time off! I often teach a retake class and they have massive regrets as a year is ages to waste retaking!
 
EmmaB said:
How about if theres someone who would lunge him for you a couple of nights? I know its still not great but should help keep his fitness up a little better? If the ocd allows of course :biggrin3:
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But that would mean they would have to touch him! They might get him dirty :eek:!!

Highlands said:
Going to be shot down in flames..... But
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Not at all. I fully recognise that if I get the results I want this year it's the rest of my life that will benefit (major cheese...). It's a balance I have to work out I suppose.
 
Totally agree being so regimented is too bad too, defo work life balance is so important. You sound very mature and sensible about your studies! It also means that you have loads to write about in your personal statement( one of mine enjoyed doing the house wirk..... thats all she did...noooooo) Lots of people manage hobbies/ dreams as well as GCSEs or highers one of my friends did ballet to Birmingham royal ballet standard and did well. Good luck!
 
Is there another livery at your yard who you trust, who you could offer to ride and lead/exercise in some way other than riding at the weekend/ on one day that you can go and they can't, in return for them riding and leading at a time you can't get there, so they aren't riding your horse but the horses both get exercised in half the amount of time? Alternatively if they could lunge/walk out in hand, if riding and leading isn't possible. Good luck though :)
 
Not sure if I have got this correct but it sounds as if you don't go to the yard at all during the week. If this is the case who is looking after the horse? If he is on full livery then surely they could lunge/exercise etc. during the week?
I always used to give my horses a semi rest from October to Christmas-just kept them ticking over by riding at weekends, especially as they had been competing all spring/summer. Then you have the school holidays to pick it up again and before you know it the nights are starting to be lighter for longer.
Just my thoughts. (PS I worked in a school so had school hols)
 
Goya said:
Not sure if I have got this correct but it sounds as if you don't go to the yard at all during the week. If this is the case who is looking after the horse? If he is on full livery then surely they could lunge/exercise etc. during the week?
I always used to give my horses a semi rest from October to Christmas-just kept them ticking over by riding at weekends, especially as they had been competing all spring/summer. Then you have the school holidays to pick it up again and before you know it the nights are starting to be lighter for longer.
Just my thoughts. (PS I worked in a school so had school hols)
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He is on full during the week and DIY at the weekends. I do go up on the odd day during week but really want to make it a permanent routine. My yard doesn't offer exercising and there isn't anyone who I would 100% trust so a bit reluctant. I finished my season beginning of September so he had a few chilled weeks after that so trying to pick him up now - hence thread :)
 
be positive said:
The girl who keeps her horse at livery with me rides Weds afternoons instead of her games lesson would that be an option for you, her school allows this as it counts as an activity and she is sometimes part of the equestrian team at interschools comps, your parents may be more accommodating if the school approved.
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Oooohhh!!!!! Sorry (interrupting) just seen this!!! Oh gosh, wish we'd had the option to do this when I was at school (dinosaurs walked the earth then).... when we had to faff around with oh-so-boring netball & hockey whilst dreaming sweet dreams of how many hours till we could all get back to our ponies and/or work out how we'd afford our next ride at the stables:)

Go for it OP! Say that you need to go through your homework in your head first before you commit it to paper, and the only way you can clear your head properly is by riding................. its TRUE actually! Also....... that you've been sitting at a desk all day and that you need the work-out that riding/mucking out etc can give you.
 
If you are 16 can you get a mo-ped/50cc bike, and a part time job for transport? I had a 50cc aprillia at that age and was working 3 evenings a week in a call centre ( sun mon tue) meant I had transport all week, bike/petrol/insurace/tax/mot fully paid for,I could go anywhere and ride as I pleased. With that set up you could ride wed thu fri sat sun! and not need to rely on your parents :)
 
alainax said:
If you are 16 can you get a mo-ped/50cc bike, and a part time job for transport? I had a 50cc aprillia at that age and was working 3 evenings a week in a call centre ( sun mon tue) meant I had transport all week, bike/petrol/insurace/tax/mot fully paid for,I could go anywhere and ride as I pleased. With that set up you could ride wed thu fri sat sun! and not need to rely on your parents :)
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I don't think I would ever find the time to get a job tbh. Already doing work experience, babysitting etc on top of hockey, riding and homework. Would also rather save up for driving lessons in the long run as only 6 months to go (yipee!!). Thanks for the suggestion though :)
 
OP I feel your pain! I'm the same age and June seems an awful long way away until I can start driving. Need a car for work (takes me 2 hours on the bus, and my mum doesn't want to drive me there all the time, which is fair enough). I live in London which is unlucky for horsing as the nearest livery yard is an hours bus journey away but at least we have a decent, regular bus system! I don't know what I'd do without the buses.

All I can say is perhaps reach a compromise with your parents and have a good long chat with them about how you really need to be able to ride in the week- they sound like they don't understand how much work you need to put into the horse.
I would ask someone you trust at the yard to lunge/ride him for you. It's not ideal but at least he's getting exercised.

Good luck!
 
This is a difficult one, I can see it from both sides and have been there and done it with both myself, back in the dark ages and then my son more recently. Sadly the academic year is bound to encroach on your competitive plans.

I would be tempted to approach your parents with a sensible plan and see how they react. Perhaps see if they will agree to one or two evenings at the moment but as your horse won't be fit tell them you won't be riding for too long. Then make the most of the Christmas holidays to do a bit more but give him another break in the run up to and over your prelims. Hopefully good results will show that this plan is working then keep him ticking over till your highers are over with possibly a couple of dressage or show jumping outings. Depending on your higher timetable be prepared to give him a week or so off again then if your subjects are clustered together. Come June and the end of the exams pick him up properly and start with a couple of easier runs before aiming for your novice debut. Not an ideal plan but if your horse doesn't drop fitness too dramatically it could work but you're unfortunately going to have to accept you will face a shortened season while still in full time education.
 
Is there no one up the yard that could give you a lift home or to the yard so that your parents do not have to stay whilst you are doing the horse? Or could you not get up early and ride before school? Having been in the same position I was told that if I wanted to ride my horse and parent could not take me the I had to walk cycle bus or get a lift.
 
I'm assuming that your parents pay for the livery? My own approach to having a horse in competition is that its kind of like an investment, and in a way they are wasting their money if they aren't doing all they can to get the best performance out of the horse, which requires it being worked during the week.

Unless your seriously procreastinating in other areas, going up and working a horse twice a week after school isn't going to prevent you from doing all you can to do well at school.
 
Hackie said:
I'm assuming that your parents pay for the livery? My own approach to having a horse in competition is that its kind of like an investment, and in a way they are wasting their money if they aren't doing all they can to get the best performance out of the horse, which requires it being worked during week
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I think this is my main reason really - the horse will be sold before Uni so the more I do on him now the more we can get for him. Wanting to go to Uni in England so any extra cash would help so much!!

hairycob said:
There will be other years to do Novice BE. Screwing up a year at school messes up your whole life
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I only have two seasons before Uni so I want to have as much fun and success in that time. I can cope with work + horses - I wouldn't be asking otherwise!
 
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