Help.... Do I wait or do I move on? Am I being selfish??

[NW1]

After I gave up my horse for lack of time for him I had about a year break. I then felt the time was right to maybe start riding again I asked if anyone had a horse I could ride maybe once or twice a week. A kind friend offered me her horse as much or as little as I wanted it, it was just backed & very green (but the sort of thing I like) – so I started on 1 day a week.

On the first visit, I found out the horse hadn’t been ridden for at least 2 months & my friend had been ditched a few times and all her confidence had been lost so, me riding the horse would hopefully get them somewhere back where they wanted to be.

After a few months of riding the horse was getting somewhere and started to feel pretty good under saddle (green but good) then unfortunately I got ditched through no fault of either party (a spook & a pony with confused legs & some pony panic left me on the floor), but despite the pain (*wimper*) I got back on.

Also I would go up on a Saturday morning to help my friend lunge the horse over jumps, which would give her a bit of involvement in the horsed as still refusing to ride due to lack of confidence .

Her riding normally is spot on with no problems at all – I found it strange that this horse had done this to her but these things happen.

The only problem with this is that the horse had only matured to 15.1 and my friend is over 6ft which is a problem that no one could foresee when she bought her as a yearling.

My friend decided to sell the horse as really she wasn’t getting any enjoyment out of her, not riding and the height thing was obviously an issue. Then to buy something else which is more mature/ schooled etc and which I would also be able to ride

Due to lack of time she sent her to a reputable SJ’er ( as bred to SJ ) for schooling/sale livery, she advertised her but no joy came out of it an one other person came to view but still no joy.

She has been at the livery for approximately 4 months now and no sale. My friend hasn’t advertised her as she cant bring herself to it (all a bit too much effort)

On the odd occasion that I manage to contact my friend she still seems to have the lack of enthusiasm for it. I try to give encouraging words but seem to have no effect.

I get the feeling that she isn’t really too bothered about having a horse at the moment or surely she would have tried to advertiser her?? After all - horses dont sell themselves do they??

I try to keep general contact with her but don’t get replies to emails and very rarely get replies to texts. (which I think is a bit rude!)

Do I hold on for when the horse gets sold and she gets a new one or do I take it that she isn’t that bothered about staying in contact with me (even as a friend) and I ask other friends if I could help them out? AM I being selfish? Am I being impatient??

I would really like to ride and if I know she will let me then I will hang on but if its leading nowhere then I’ll look else where

I just miss being around horses 

 

[Boxers]

You could be waiting a while, by the time the youngster is sold, and en she looks for another horse, could take months.

If I were you I would seek a ride elsewhere. keep in contact with your friend though and if she does get another horse, she might invite you to see it, or even invite you to help her look for one.

 

[Paris1]

Sounds like she is a bit despondent and has a horse she wants to well but the lack of enthusiasm prob means she is feeling a bit uncertain/unhappy about the decision, must be hard. So she's prob avoiding you as you are pushing for the sale perhaps?
I would take the horse Out of the equation, find yourself something else to ride and be there to your friend.

 

[Pocket_Rocket]

Why don't you just ride the horse she's got that way it would be cheaper than sales livery for her and you would be able to ride? Otherwise i'd look for something else otherwise you won't get anywhere x

 

[xBumblebeex]

Blimey I wish I had someone like you to help me out with my horse. I think your friend was very lucky to have you. I think that I would move on. Even if it is only until she gets new horse, and see how you feel then.

 

[be positive]

As the horse is at livery to be sold it is the job of the yard to do the advertising/selling not the owner, she may be feeling a bit despondent if nothing is happening and it will be costing £££s for a 15.1 that probably at the end of it is not going to be sold for as much as she is hoping. It may be that she has a break if her confidence is low anyway.

I would get on with your own plans and find another way to get some riding, although offering to help out if her horse does not sell would be a nice thing to do.

 

[NW1]

thanks guys, I just got a feeling that as my fiend was so kind to offer me 0gd side I was being selfish for not waiting.

pocket-rocket: that would be a wonderful world- I wish I could as she is a lovely little thing, in fact exactly perfect in every way but I can only do 2 days a week and that is just not sufficient for her.

be positive: I had suggested that the livery take care of it but seemed to get no response from that either. and you're not the first person to suggest she may take a break. peoples lives change after all...

thanks again guys xxxx