HELP- How do you gain confidence?!

[Perfect_Pirouette]

Ok, so with G I am so confident, almost over confident sometimes (don't think twice about texting whilst riding, riding him from school back to stable in pitch darkness etc) but that's because he is just so so safe and really doesn't ever do anything.

I have (potentially) been offered an amazing opportunity to ride and compete a 16.3 tbx mare she is absoulutely beauitful and has the most AMAZING paces, I, in all honesty am not a good enough rider to do her justice, owner thinks I will get on fine with her so i'm going to give myself the benefit of the doubt. However....she is only 6 and is known for throwing a bit of a paddy when tense/fresh etc and I just don't know how i'll cope if she does it with me as i've been so used to completely safe and reliable for so long that it's been an awful long time since i've rode anything that has challenged me etc and i'm also not the best when it comes to those sort of situations as I tend to **** myself and then my riding goes to pot.

I just wondered how people cope with maybe slightly naughty horses and also how they find the confidence to carry on, focus and do the job in hand when something is throwing a wobbly. I'm riding her on Thursday and I have to say i'm scared about it.

But on the other hand I will still be sharing G (think i'll always be sharing G lol ) and he will be very, very good for getting my confidence back up if this mare knocks it. I am so angry at myself, this is an amazing opportunity and at the end of the day I was always going to have to ride something else at some point, I can't ride G FOREVER, I need to man up and grow up but I am just not that much of a confident rider (well on anything that isn't G anyway)

Any tips on staying calm and getting some confidence would be greatly appreciated!

 

[MochaDun]

I think if you say you're scared already about riding this new horse this week and you admit you're not a confident rider you have your answer. I don't think difficult horses bring on your riding unless you're the one in control and helping teach them to deal with any issues or behavioural things they have that need sorted. We have people on our yard at the moment who are way overhorsed and it's like an accident waiting to happen. Their horses terrify them but they won't get proper help.

Hope I'm not sounding too harsh but I don't think it's the beautiful, flowing paces type horses that help you on your riding improvment journey but the ones who can't do much already if they are not schooled well or maybe just not forward going and you help bring that out in them. If you get nervous on a horse that challenges you they will pick that up immediately.

If you enjoy G so much why not just extend the things you do with him to push yourselves a bit more? Riding club or local shows, dressage comps, showjumping etc?

 

[scally]

To be totally honest, a big moving horse, and a nervous rider is a total receipe for disaster. I have a huge 17+ in the stables, the sweetest loveliest horse you would ever want to meet, his paces are huge, he is only here as his last owner, wanted a flash horse for hacking, flash he is he oozes it, an average riders ride he certainly is not, killing his pace, has taught him riders hurt his mouth and back, when he is only doing what is natural to him, moving big and forward and correct. He has come in as remedial due to a rider that couldnt not ride his big stride, lost confidence slowed him down so much, he lost confidence a big circle.

I do not consider myself either a bad rider nor an average rider, however I am not a dressage rider used to his stride, and know that I will restrict him moving forward and using his paces correctly, which will ruin his schooling and also build up energy that if he wishes can be totally used against me. I have a very good rider (that until injuried and not on him) could push him forward and keep pushing forward when he misbehaved, you need to do that with big horses, the minute you hold, they can use their full power against you, resulting in a true explosion.

Big paced horses, need to be able to use their pace, slowing them down so we can sit their pace, builds up a lot of problems and issues if you really feel this worried now without riding her, I would say honestly you are not the right rider, and the owner needs to get a professional on to bring out the best and get everything established on such a young horse. As for your confidence dont lose it, it is a very fragile thing, make the next step a small one up step not leap 20 foot, that way you will end up riding horses like this in a few years and do them so much justice.

 

[MissMincePie&Brandy]

He sounds like a fabulous horse. At 6 he's still only a baby and needs a confident and balanced rider, so that he can continue to develop in a positive way. If he's already prone to throwing the odd wobbly, he will need someone who is able to confidently ride him through these tantrums otherwise he will just get worse.

It also sounds as though you won’t be able to have the carefree fun you currently have on your pony, and you'll probably have to plan what riding you do more carefully. For example is he safe in traffic, and is he happy to hack alone? What is he like to box up and take to a competition (i.e. is he calm and easy, or does the excitement freak him out)? Does he have to be worked regularly in order to keep him sane, or can he have several days off and then be sensible to ride.

At 16.3 he is pretty big, so he mustn't be allowed to think he can get away with being rude whether it's on the ground or when ridden, and as he's only 6, he'll probably still have phases where he'll test you, and you need to be able to nip any naughtiness in the bud straight away, while being able to spot if there's actually a reason for this behaviour like a tooth problem, or back/saddle problem, etc.

If you do take him on, I would advise weekly lessons with a good instructor. I've had horses for many years, but I still have a lesson every fortnight.

If you are not sure. Why not ask if you could have a couple of lessons with a good (non biased) instructor on this horse and see what she thinks before you commit to taking the horse on.

These are only my opinions. He might be a great horse for you, or he might be a bit too much of a step up from your pony at this point in time. Good luck

 

[Bowen4Horses]

hi... just arrived late to this thread... but thought i'd add my little bit...

PLEASE protect your confidence. i speak as someone who was as confident as they come... one horse knocked it so badly that i've turned into someone who is physically sick before riding, cries when on board... etc etc. it's taken me many many months of fighting against the most almighty fear to be able to get onto my (completely safe) horse.

i have to say whilst this horse sounds lovely, they sound like they're too much of a leap for you. i'm not critisizing you at all. i promise. in fact, i think you do need to step out of your comfort zone to GAIN confidence... but i think it sounds like this horse needs someone who doesn't have any confidence wobbles.

if you do decide to ride him, make sure the first few times are with an instructor, who will be honest with you.

good luck! let us know what you decide to do. xxx