Help. I have a tough decision to make with my old friend.

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friskyfresian

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Help. I have an old horse (about 23) who did not winter well at all last year. I used to own him and sold him on when i had a baby but unfortunately that didnt work out and i got him back as a bag of bones (through the sspca), hes never really recovered..
He is very old and stiff and when he lies down he cant get up, last winter he was winched out of his stable by way of a forklift on nearly a monthly basis. He doesnt keep weight on well at all, i have had blood tested by the vet and he has a problem in his intestine that means he isnt digesting his food as a normal horse would. He really hasnt recovered from last winter even though he is fed the best money can buy and has access to over 23 acres excellent grazing. I am condensing this story down a lot and believe me no stone has been unturned to try and help him but he will not put on weight (nearly 3 grand on vets bills in 18 months, althoughy money is not an object just making this point to show how tough things have been). I believe the severe neglect he suffered has contributed to this and my vet also believed this.
My dillema is this.... I have sold my farm and have been looking at livery yards for him, or renting a field with shelter etc.... My vet thinks i'm wrong as he really shouldnt have made it through last winter and its wrong to move him now. I want to do whats best for him but at the moment even though hes skinny he is happy and i feel so cold hearted to even consider puting him to sleep when he seems happy. He is a fantastic horse and i have a huge history with him, would fight for him forever but is that the right thing to do given his problems? I dont want him freezing to death when he lies down and cant get up and i wont be on site to help him he deserves better than that. What would you do? any advice suggestions would be welcomed.
Thanks,
Lesley
 
You vet is right- a horse that cant get up regularly needs pts-it is cruel to keep him giong for your sake.
 
I think you have answered your own question really. From what you say here it sounds like it is the kindest thing to do. 23 is not so old but it sounds like he is not a terribly healthy 23yr old, not being able to get up is a real problem and as it gets colder he will struggle more. I think the best thing would be possibly pts before winter sets in.
If he is simply not recovering then I really think its best for him. All the best what ever you decide x
 
i know its a very tough decision to make, but i personally feel that if he cant get up on his own and isnt keeping weight on then this winter will be very hard for him. as you say you have a lot of history with him and it will be hard letting him go but i think its the right thing to do to PTS. rather do it now when hes had a lovely summer with you than finding him in a state in his field having not made it though a wet and cold day.
im sure you'll make the right decision what ever you do. x
 
Totally feel for you here as I lost my beautiful boy in March this year. Although he is happy now you really need to ask yourself how is he going to fare once winter sets in. If the answer is, he is going to suffer then it is time to call it a day. Although hard you would be doing the best thing for him and it is obvious that you have done everything possible. The important thing is he has known happiness with you and that he was safe, you can't give anything more than that.
 
Let him go with the sun on his back and your memories of him happy and satisfying. He is not worrying about tomorrow and is not afraid of being PTS. I have had 2 PTS and it is much much worse for us than them. He will be with someone he knows who loves him in a place he is familiar with. No pain, no fear - you could not offer him a better end. (((hugs))) it is not easy but the right thing is often not easy.x This is of course just an opinion and I know each person has their own limits x
 
awful position to find yourself in but deep down, you already know the answer. putting to sleep before the winter takes hold is probably the kindest thing you can do for him and from the way you describe your relationship, its how your story should end. He's not going to get any younger so both of you will have an uphill battle to see the winter out. Its awful when the time comes but sadlythere is no fairy wand. Hugs, Mairi.
 
Sadly it sounds like its right to let him go now, rather than later when he has had to go through a move, has lost more condition and can't get up and is miserable through the winter.

However, the hard decision is yours. x
 
It would be a brave decision to make, but if he were mine, I'd want his last memories to be happy, warm and comfortable as he is now. It would be heartbreaking to see him decline over the winter and wouldn't be right in my opinion. Whatever you decide I'm sure it will be for the best and I'm thinking of you. We're all here for you whatever happens :)
 
No advice for you, just to say you will do what you think is best and I know what you are going through ( my boy is now getting up ok, but it was a close call at one stage).

So all I have to offer is (((((((( HUGS)))))))
 
As everyone else has said, sadly I think you will have to make the ultimate decision for him. once a horse can't get up unaided then there is really nothing you can do for them. You can help their digestion, you can administer drugs for pain and to manage other condition but you can not do anything to help once a horse can no longer physically do what a horse needs to do. In the wild if i horse could no longer get up then that would be it.
We came close to this decison with our oldie, he used to fall asleep and fall over and struggle to get up - we knew it was only a matter of time and he too lost loads of weight. Thankfully (for us anyway) he took the decision away from us and we discovered him dead one morning. However we did have to make the decision with our donkey who also got to the stage where he would fall and vouldn't get up - we actually susspect he had had a stroke at some point.

Our vet had always been frank when it came to our old horses and we had them regularly checked but he and we knew when we'd done all we could and sadly you have to make the decision before it gets to the stage of the horse suffering which I am sure you don't want to happen.

I am sorry you are facing this decision but i would listen to your vet on this one.
 
L, I think your vet is right, and I think you know that,too.
I think it would be unfair to move him. As someone else said, let him go when he is in familiar surroundings, and with the sun on his back. You said yourself, at the moment he is happy - I'm sure you wouldn't want to wait until he is unhappy? It has been said on this forum many, many times "Better a week too early than a day too late".
(((((( HUGS ))))))
 
To be honest with you, I would rather have him pts now while he IS happy. I can only echo what Groom42 has said - better he goes early than even a second too late.

Big hugs and as tough as it will be, you will be doing what is best for him.
 
Thankyou everybody for all the kind words, all have made me cry but its probably exactly what i need.. Am very touched by the support i have found on this sight and want to send a massive thankyou to everybody who sent me a message, it really means so much. Flynn is my world and i wouldnt want to tell the story from the start as i'm sure i would make you all cry. He has had such a huge impact on my life and i am finding it really hard to let go, you only meet horses like him once in a century. He has put up a great fight and i wish i had the resorces to help him keep fighting because hes amazing and i dont ever want to imagine when he wont be here. I do however understand that this is part of horse ownership, i have to do the right thing and i will but want to thank you all for helping as it very conferting to know people still do care xxx For Flynn an amazing horse who has taken me on the biggest journey of my life, love you forever xxx
 
Friskyfresian - what a terribly hard decision for you but I agree with all the replies, I think it would be kinder on him and you also to do it before the decision is made for you. You can decide how you want it done that way. I hope that makes sense but I had to make this decision with my 24yr old mare two years ago. She had laminitis and was never going to recover but I had her put to sleep during a good patch because I wanted her to be able to have two hours out in the field before the vet came rather than have to call them when I found her collapsed with yet another attack. She had a lovely last few hours and I can now look back and smile at those last memories of her. Her euthanasia was incredibly peaceful for her and me and I have absolutely no regrets at all, god I miss her every single day but something that stuck with me was a saying that a client said to me 'you loved her enough to let her go' and I did love her so much xx

I hope this helps, even for you just to know that you're not alone, all my love xx
 
We are in the same position, our 27yr old livery still has a good life, eating well, enjoying a roll etc, but is a bag of bones, we suggested to his owner
to be guided by the vet, who agreed he is unlikely to survive the winter, but
is still enjoying life, so our gorgeous old man is having the last of the summer sun on his back and will be quietly pts next month.
My heart goes out to you, we are dreading the due date but are convinced it's for the best and are spoiling him shamefully in the meantime.
Good luck in your descision making
 
It is always a very hard decision. We are currently making a similar one for our 29 yr old and are planning to pts at the end of, October before she has to struggle through another winter. We will make a final decision after speaking to our vet again.
IMO the last thing you can do for them is to give them a dignified end and you owe it to your horse to do that.
 
Its a really tough decision to make but just think of how he will suffer this winter. It will more likely be worse than last year as he is another year older.

I made the decision nearly 12 month ago to have my mare put down. She was the grand age of 29 and I knew in my heart she would suffer through the winter. I decided on a date and stuck to it. It broke my heart that day and I am crying just thinking about it now but she went looking as well as she ever could and happy with life. I know if she could have said thank you she would have as she went so quickly and quietly. I gave her a lovely feed and a good groom and as many carrots as she would eat and I feel I did the best thing for her. I had people question my judgement as she looked well at the time, but I knew her the best and still stick by my decision.

You know what is the right thing to do, you just need to think what is the best for him no matter how much it hurts. Imagine how much suffering you can save him.

My thoughts are with you. ((((((HUGS))))))
 
They are right, you know. I have been there too, calling time for two very dear friends whose presence shaped the lives of those around me as well as my own. My only regret is they really couldn't stay any longer and I had to let them go on their terms, heartbreaking as it was.

It's the ultimate kindness and although impossibly difficult to face, it is absolutely the only responsible thing to do.

May your memories of him be happy ones and his passing gentle and swift.

(hugs)
 
I went through this with my mare when she started to struggle getting up from a roll. She had been uncomfortable with having her feet trimmed for some time & she had a lot of large, fast growing sarcoids & 1 that had failed to heal after treatment. You get to the stage where you realise that you are hoping for a miracle & they don't happen very often. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do but looking back I know it was the right thing.
I collected a new horse at the weekend, but he doesn't replace her - he's a new horse & that's completely different.
 
I would agree to what everyone else has said.

It would probably be very traumatic for your poor old horse who has suffered enough to be moved from his now nice, familiar and pleasant surrounds to a new livery yard or field and I am sure that it would be far less stressfull for you as well to have him put to sleep in the familiar surrounds of your farm than elsewhere.

It is always a very hard decision but also our resposibility as their owners to make their end as peacefull and comfortable as possible.
 
Firstly ((((((((((hugs)))))))))) to you.
I recently had to make this terrable desition myself with my best friend in the whole world. I rescude her 12 years ago from going to the meat man, she was agressive and everyone told me to giveup on her but that little pony turned out to be the best pony in the world and we did so much together. In Nov last year she was diagnosed with a very very very rare illness (there is a one in 8 million chance of having it). The vets gave her a less than 50% chance of making it to xmas. She wasn't suffering and I knew I had to give her a chance to fight it. In january I forfilled a 12 year dream and rode Lucy on the beach and in may we did a 14 mile sponsoured ride. But in July this happened.
http://www.horseandhound.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=383841
:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(
It was the worst desition of my life. It was an easy one to make as it was best for Lucy I didn't want her to start to suffer and I wanted her to have a dignified and pain free end to her life.
It was so so painful for me. I still cry every single day, I still feel guilty that I wasn't there for my baby at the end, I miss her so so much and still can't believe she has gone. But I know I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself if I had asked her to waight for me to get home and she had started to suffer.
I guess what i'm trying to say is you need to do whats best for your horse and I think letting him go will be the best thing for him even though it's not what you want. I'm so sorry. If you need anyone to talk to feel free to PM me I'm always hear to listen and am happy to help in anyway I can.
Sending you more (((((((hugs)))))) be strong for your friend he needs you.
 
TBH, I can't see why you even need to ask; he has no quality of life and it's very unfair to ask him to soldier on for your benefit as it's certainly not to his benefit. Sorry, it's time to face reality for his sake.
 
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