Help! I'm a non-horsey boyfriend!

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helplease

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Hello all,

I'm the boyfriend of a member of this forum (forelegs) and I am not horsey at all but keen to learn. I've picked up a few bits and bobs while at the stable with her and her horse, I'm even allowed to make up feeds now which I'm told is an honour(!) She is taking me for my first riding lesson in a couple of weeks, (not on hers, neither of us are trusted with the other) so I was wondering what tips you guys had for me in regards to my very first lesson and the horse world in general. Literally anything that might help me have a horsey conversation with her, it's quite hard to keep up when she tries to explain things, especially the 'dancing' horses.

Thanks!
 
My husband asks every day how my horse his. He doesn't expect an in depth answer and he doesn't get a long one most of the time.
That he cares enough to ask after her is good enough for me.

Just appear interested would be my advice!
 
helplease said:
Hello all,

I'm the boyfriend of a member of this forum (forelegs) and I am not horsey at all but keen to learn. I've picked up a few bits and bobs while at the stable with her and her horse, I'm even allowed to make up feeds now which I'm told is an honour(!) She is taking me for my first riding lesson in a couple of weeks, (not on hers, neither of us are trusted with the other) so I was wondering what tips you guys had for me in regards to my very first lesson and the horse world in general. Literally anything that might help me have a horsey conversation with her, it's quite hard to keep up when she tries to explain things, especially the 'dancing' horses.

Thanks!
Click to expand...

Very impressed your keen to learn! Not sure my tips are going to be very useful but here goes!

Riding lesson wise
Change of rein- to change direction (plan this well a long diagonal line from one end of the arena to the other )
Talk to the horse- they can tell alot from you tone of voice higher pitched speech to go faster lower pitched to slow down.
Near side - horses left side (get on and off this side)
Off side- horses right side

Hope this helps a bit!
 
Following on from Spot the Risk........ budgie smugglers are your friends! And make friends with her horse, a good groom and find his favourite scratch spots, thats the way to win her :)
 
Have fun!

Relax and enjoy your lesson. It will be hard work, mentally and physically but will be a great experience!

Try to focus on keeping your body and hands relaxed, allowing the natural motion of the horse to be 'absorbed' by you.

Try not to put any pressure on yourself, everyone has to start at the beginning.

Hope you have a great time!
 
twobearsarthur said:
I've asked my husband what he would advise.
"Run like the wind and find a girl that likes nothing bigger than kittens"
Click to expand...

My husband would probably agree.

Failing that. Learn about horse time. 1 hour really means 2. Or even 3.

Perfect the interested expression when your girlfriend manages to talk through the entire evening meal (eaten at 10pm of course) about what rug she finally decided to leave her horse in that night. Yes it matters, no, 1 rug is not enough, and just accept it when they end up in the washing machine ;)


Never, ever, ever say "it's just a horse".

Good luck!
 
Bet you learn really quickly especially if you have a strong nerve most men I have taught have been really quick learners and have surpassed even their wildest expectations. I would say dont try and steer your horse like a motorbike and do everything with your hands and legs smoothly and gently. Dont know about the underwear side of things but relax and enjoy yourself and yes it is a huge honor to be trusted with the feeds or anything in fact to do with the horse
 
Spot_the_Risk said:
I have asked my OH... Hang on


He says never disagree with your OH (top tip I think!)

I would say consider your underwear carefully before your first lesson!
Click to expand...

Cycle shorts under your track pants should protect the family jewels.

Never give advise!

Buy Polo's by the box load, unless horse is on a sugarfree diet, then buy the sugar free version.

Offer to stack hay the moment the delivery is expected

Enjoy your lesson. If you're not sure ask the instructor to clarify.
 
My boyfriend had his first riding lesson last year... he hasn't gone back, but here's what I think he learned.
1. it's NOT as easy as it looks
2. be humble
3. just because you play all sorts of other sports, it won't come right away!
4. be prepared to be sore
5. listen to what your girlfriend/coach says... they aren't saying it just to nag :)
 
The only advice from my OH is stay quiet and listen lol and watch your toes!!
Always be aware of how the horse is feeling. Watch it's ears. Ask lots of questions !!
 
Just enjoy your lesson & if you find that riding isn't for you don't worry. Some guys love it & wish they'd taken up riding years ago whilst others like my other half hated it - he didn't feel comfortable or in control. His words were that he'd prefer to be behind the wheel of a car or a push bike as he can control them but you can't a horse as it has it own mind. Like robert downry jr said in Sherlock Holmes a horse is dangerous at both ends & crafty in the middle!!!

Even though my OH doesn't ride he goes up first thing in the morning to check on
them even on my non working day, rugs up & turn them out when they are in. He maintains the field ie fertilizing it etc, helps me with general stuff such as bathing & takes me & our daughter to shows & helps with preparing them for classes. So even if riding isn't for you - you can help in other ways.

Just have fun, listen to your instructor & don't feel pressurized with anything as its supposed to be enjoyable :) Good luck
 
Spot_the_Risk said:
I have asked my OH... Hang on


He says never disagree with your OH (top tip I think!)

I would say consider your underwear carefully before your first lesson!
Click to expand...
Second both of these and would add a)Stock up on Radox - you will be using muscles you didn't know you had! and b) ENJOY (Welcome to the world of Horse).
 
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All much better advice than I've come up with - will try to provide pictures of said lesson for you all to giggle at!
 
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twobearsarthur said:
I've asked my husband what he would advise.
"Run like the wind and find a girl that likes nothing bigger than kittens"
Click to expand...

Having failed to learn this one, there's no hope for me!

I suppose the most useful piece of advice I was given (after my indoctrination got to the stage where I was starting to learn to ride) was that horses need to know who's in charge, it's a partnership where your job is to lead, their job is to follow. Be kind, be gentle, be sympathetic but be firm.

There is always a herd (even if it's a herd of two with one member being a human) and there HAS to be a leader, make sure that's you - horses don't much care where they are in the pecking order, so long as they know where that place is. A friend of ours got a horse who he treated like a dog, he gave her got whatever she wanted and let her do what she wanted to do - she quickly got the idea that SHE was in charge in their partnership! You don't want half a ton of bone and muscle getting the idea that it's the boss.
 
It is lovely that you want to learn - some people have suggested you will get good very quickly. My advice is not to rush it. Men are often pushed along more quickly than women beginners and it doesnt always end happily.
My non-horsey OH began to ride 7 years ago and has ridden once a week ever since. He is a great believer in "saddle time" as the secret of learning to ride. Just something that you get the hang of, if you go on doing it. Unlike me, he has never been stressed by riding lessons and never fallen off.
The other difference to bear in mind is that a couple dont always suit the same horses. OH doesnt like riding my favourite mare. But in masculine solidarity has taken to any gelding who shares his passion for canter in the school.
 
I'd agree with others who have said don't rush things when it comes to riding. It is fun, it is sooooo enjoyable but it takes practice. Even the pros need regular training to stay on top of their game. Riding is definitely not as easy as it may look but when something clicks into place on horseback, there is nothing better! Remember that riding is a partnership between you and the horse so just try to relax and listen to what your instructor is saying to you. Enjoy! Looking forward to an update after your lesson :)
 
Hi OP - good on you for being so keen! Just enjoy the lesson, listen to the instructor and ask if you don't understand.

My ex OH was impatient to get to the point where he could gallop and jump 'to make it all worthwhile' - the best way to get there is to focus carefully on the basics and if you get those right the exciting stuff comes much more easily and you will get there quicker. So don't dismiss the 'boring' bits :)

Forelegs - congrats on such a smashing OH! :)
 
A friend at our yard has a bf, and he must have gotten sick of us all constantly talking about horses when at theirs/at pub etc.
He now has a horse at the yard (is so cute as they both have coloureds!!)
And what is so frustrating...he's ridden 6 months, and he already has better leg position and holds hands well and is soft on horses mouth!

so...if you can't beat us, join us!
 
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