NeverSayNever
Well-Known Member
i posted a couple of months ago about feeling a bit down, to save me typing out all the back ground again - here is the thread.
http://www.horseandhound.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=414374
well since then the snow has come
and ive ended up away getting my arm xrayed where there is an old break , after it giving me a lot of pain after hauling water/hay about etc. Ive ridden a few times and have bought a Sec A bubba who is a companion for my horse. I am LOVING having the wee one and am doing little things with him most days. I just feel no pressure with him and am enjoying teaching him to lead, load etc. But I still have no motivation to ride
I went out for a hack the other day and felt on edge the whole time, i didnt enjoy it at all. After the fall I mentioned in the other thread (from a youngster, not charlie) I ended up on crutches with torn ankle ligaments and off work,that waslast april. It was the first time ive ever hurt myself coming off and even though i know Charlie is a saint.... at the back of my mind all the time now, is a little voice asking myself if Ive had my fill of riding and do I actually want to partake in such a risk sport anymore. TBH happy hacking bores me, Im only really happy when Im working towards something and I had planned to continue our XC careers and start BE. However Im not even really enjoying working with my horse on the ground now- even though he is 100% a diamond, he is rightly-so a bit bored and fidgety and sharp given the weather and again that little voice returns asking me is it worth the risk anymore? I got some lovely horsey things for Christmas and usually having nice new things to play with perks me up no end (materialistic blighter that i am
) I have lovely new event boots for him and am having a bridle M2M, and yet, i still feel depressed about my future riding. Im actually finding Im fantasising about having another littly instead and getting into inhand showing and poss driving.
I feel awful, Im sat here with a horse that was like hens teeth to find, that we broke the bank to buy 
http://www.horseandhound.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=414374
well since then the snow has come
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